Until You (Off-Limits)

“Gray, where are you taking me?”

I smile and tighten my grip on her hand, pulling her along. “You’ll see,” I tell her, excited about the surprise I have in store. Last night is still fresh on my mind, and I know it’s on hers too.

“Wow,” she says, when I lead her onto the beach. I walk her to the gazebo where a dining table has been set up for us and Aria looks at me, her eyes wide. “You did this for me?”

I smile and pull her closer, bending down to kiss her. “What? I can’t take my girl out on a date?”

She grins as I pull out her chair for her, and I’m relieved to see her smiling so genuinely. Last night’s argument took a toll on her, and she’s been quiet all day.

I’m worried she’s thinking about Brad, that she’s comparing me to him. I never intended to break her trust, but I should have realized she would misunderstand. I should have known the texts between us could be misinterpreted. I shouldn’t have assumed we were both silently aware of who the other was.

I pour Aria a glass of champagne, lifting mine to hers. “Here’s to you. To us.”

She smiles and taps her glass against mine before raising it to her lips. “I’m glad it’s you,” she says, her voice soft.

I raise my brows in question, and her cheeks flush. She looks away, her lips turning up in a smile.

“Ash,” she whispers. “I’m glad it’s you.”

I smile, my heart tightening in a way it never has before. “Ari, I was shocked when I found out who you were. I’d been intrigued with Nyx long before I realized it was you. That day, at your brother’s dining table… fuck. At the time you had so much going on, and it didn’t seem right to ask you then, especially because it was nothing more than a hunch. But the truth is I didn’t want to ask you if you were Nyx. We’d just gotten closer over text, and it felt like I’d gotten to know a part of you that you kept hidden from everyone else. I was selfish, Aria. I knew I couldn’t have you in real life, but over text? Over text, I got to say everything that I couldn’t say to you face to face. I got to flirt with you, and I got to tell you how beautiful you are. I thought that was all I’d ever have of you. But I should have known… I should have known that I wouldn’t be able to resist you.”

Aria’s cheeks turn a beautiful shade of crimson, and I can’t help but fall a little deeper. I’m so caught up in her I don’t even notice the waiter standing by our table. Not until Aria laughs at me and turns to look at him.

I can barely take my eyes off her as she places her order, and I’m impatient as I place mine.

“Why did you choose the name Nyx?” I ask as soon as he walks away. It’s something I’ve wondered about for months now, and I can’t figure it out.

Aria grimaces and looks away. “Nyx is the Goddess of night. I’ve loved her for years, because it’s only at night that I come alive. After I lost my parents, living through the days was too hard. Pretending that I was okay, smiling when I felt dead inside… I went through the motions, but at night… at night is when I could be myself. It’s during sleepless nights that I learned to code, and it was during a sleepless night that I met you.”

She looks away, trying to hide the sorrow in her eyes, but it doesn’t escape me. “I’ve always loved the name Nyx,” I tell her. “I think I might start calling you that.”

She laughs, startled. “I think I’d actually like that,” she says. She tilts her head and smiles at me. “Tell me, why did you pick Ash?”

I look away, my smile melting off my face. “It’s a play on my name,” I tell her. “When I thought of things that are gray, one of the first things that came to mind was ash… and just like ash, I’m all that’s left behind when everything burns down.”

I don’t see pity in her eyes, and I don’t know why I expected it. This is Aria, after all. She gets me like no one else does.

“Gray,” she says. “You have no idea how much I look up to you. It’s because of you I taught myself how to code. If not for the way you’ve always inspired me, the Nemesis Platform wouldn’t even exist. I can’t believe I get to call you mine. You’re brilliant, and your accomplishments are astounding. Despite all of that, you’re the best person I know.”

I look away, unsure how to reply to that. She smiles at me as though she understands, as though she knows what I’m thinking. She probably does. I reach for her, grabbing her hand over the table.

“You know,” she says. “You’ve been doing this for a while… grabbing my hand like that.”

I grin and press a kiss to the back of her hand. “I couldn’t resist. Your hands are the only part of you that was accessible to me. The only part I could touch without betraying how much I wanted you.”

She looks at me with wide eyes, as though it’s only just occurring to her that I’ve wanted her for a while. I see the question in her eyes, but she wouldn’t believe me even if I told her.

I’m startled when my phone rings, snapping me out of the moment. I glance at it, grimacing. “It’s Noah,” I say, my voice soft. I try my best to suppress the guilt I feel as I pick up the phone.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” I say, and Aria tightens her grip on me, squeezing my hand. I see the same guilt reflected in her eyes and she tries to slip her hand away, but I catch her in time and entwine our fingers.

“Nothing much. I’m packing. Anything in particular I need to bring? I tried calling Aria, but she’s not picking up. If she needs anything from home, I can bring it for her.”

I face the ocean, feeling conflicted. I forgot Noah is visiting soon.

“No, nothing that I can think of.”

“You okay? Am I calling at a bad time?”

I glance at Aria, and the anxiety in her eyes makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to lie to Noah.

“No, it’s nothing. I’m just out right now.”

Noah chuckles. “A date? Well, I’ll be damned.”

“Something like that,” I mutter. My conversations with Noah have never been awkward, but today I wish I didn’t even pick up.

I breathe a sigh of relief when he ends the call after minimal small talk, and I instantly feel guilty.

“What are we doing?” Aria asks. “We can’t…”

I shake my head and look her in the eye. “We’ll tell him, babe. Together.”

Aria shakes her head. “We don’t even know what this is yet. Do you really want to risk your friendship with him?”

I smile at her reassuringly. “Aria, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I meant it when I told you I love you.”

She looks at me in disbelief and I vow to myself here and now that I will make her see that she is everything, that she is worth everything.