SWNOVELS Unravel Me: Chapter 39
Four days is far too long to be apart when what we need more than anything is each other. It’s far too much time for overthinking, for catastrophizing, the things I normally do best. It’s time I didn’t need to figure out how to handle this situation, because I’ve known from the moment those words left Courtney’s mouth.
All I can do, all I would do, is stand by Adam’s side.
But the surprise he wore when he found me waiting for him, something about it broke me. I’ve spent so much of my life believing I wasn’t enough. That if I was better, somebody would choose me, give me the love I so desperately wanted. Adam’s spent months building me up, helping me realize it was never about me. That I’d always be enough for the right people. But at one a.m., the terrified look in his eyes told me he wasn’t so sure he was enough.
And now, I’m dedicating the rest of my life to making sure this man next to me never questions his worth again.
I look up at the boutique coffee and pastry shop and swallow my annoyance. Of course Courtney requested Adam meet her at their old favorite date spot. Adam looks just as annoyed beside me, with a side of nauseous as he grips the manila envelope in his hand.
He hates that it’s come to this. After everything this woman has put him through, this kind man I get to call mine would rather she just see herself out of his life silently.
“We don’t have to do this,” I remind him gently. “If it’s not what you want, Adam, we can wait until the baby is born and request a paternity test. We can wait this out quietly.”
He shakes his head, and the envelope scrunches beneath his tightening grip. “She lost the right to quiet when she brought you and Connor into this. I’ve tolerated a lot of her bullshit, but I refuse to tolerate that.” He takes my hand in his, squeezing as his eyes come to mine. “I love you, Rosie. Thank you for standing by me.”
I hope one day he’ll understand that there is no other place for me and Connor than at his side.
All I’ve ever done with love is lose it.
But I won’t lose this. Not Adam, not this life we’re building together.
I refuse.
The bell over the door jingles as we walk in, and heads rise, eyes bulging when they see their very own Adam Lockwood.
“Adam.” Courtney stands, a wide grin stretching across her cheeks. Even after all the ugly things she’s done, she’s still painfully beautiful. So much so, that for the briefest moment, a seed of insecurity blooms.
And then Adam squeezes my hand, and I bury that seed so deep, refusing to give it roots to grow.
Courtney’s bright blue eyes dim when they spot me, her jaw setting in a harsh line as we approach the intimate booth she picked in the back corner. Its location does nothing to stop all the wandering gazes from following us. “I thought it would be just the two of us.”
“It’s fitting that, if I’m talking about the prospect of expanding my family, my current family is present, no?”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m not sitting with her.”
“You’re right; she’s not sitting.” He drops the envelope on the table in front of her. “We aren’t staying.”
“What is this?”
“A letter from my lawyer. He’s sending you one via email too. It should be in your mailbox in…” He checks his watch. “Two minutes ago.” Then he smiles at her, sadistic and devastatingly handsome. “Selfishly, I had to see your reaction in person.”
There’s a slight tremor in her hands that she tries to hide as she opens the envelope, pulls out the letter. Her eyes move over the words, and any hint of confidence she was managing to hold onto slips from her face, droops in her shoulders.
“You’re suing me?”
“For two-point-five million,” he confirms, pointing out a spot on the document.
“But you-you…you can’t do that.”
“I can, actually. Your bullshit sob stories have accomplished nothing but harm my reputation. I might’ve let it go, but then you dragged people I love into it. You know, I really can’t comprehend how you thought dragging my name through the mud was the best way to get to me, but then again, you haven’t always made the best decisions.”
“I can’t afford that,” she splutters. “I don’t have that kind of money. I’m having a baby!” Her gaze flicks to me, lighting with fire, jealousy for something she gave up. “What kind of toxic bullshit is she planting in your head? You would turn away your own flesh and blood and the mother of your child for some bitch and her offspring? The kid’s dad didn’t want him, and he didn’t want her either.”
One moment, Adam is solid and steady beside me, my hand tucked warmly inside his. The next, he’s looming over Courtney, an energy so feral it makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.
“Keep her name out of your fucking mouth,” he whispers, the words so lethal, tinged with venom, Courtney fumbles backward, her hand at her throat. “This isn’t a goddamn game anymore, Courtney. You can’t play with people’s lives like they’re yours to manipulate. I’m tired of being your fucking chess piece.”
I step forward, laying my hand gently on his back, watching his shoulders drop, his heaving chest deflating as his breath slows to steady.
Courtney watches the exchange, and I see it in her eyes, the desperation for this to work, the knowledge that it’s not, that she’s watching her so poorly thought-out plan slip between her fingers, fall to pieces at her feet. And in all her despair, she gives it one last go, throwing herself at Adam, gripping his coat in her tight fists. “Please, Adam. Please. You can’t do this to me. You can’t. This is our chance. We can be a family. A real family.”
“I have a family, Courtney, and she’s standing right here! I have a family who’s chosen me day in and day out, who loves me for who I am, and you have no one. You. Have. No one . So what the fuck are you still doing here? Why are you still in Vancouver? In Canada? For fuck’s sake, Courtney, go home .”
She shakes her head frantically, tears building in her eyes. To her credit, they look genuine, but I’m almost certain they’re there because this right here was her last-ditch effort. She doesn’t care about Adam, and she most certainly doesn’t deserve him.
“You’ll never get rid of me,” she whispers. “I’m not leaving. You can’t just brush me under the rug because you’ve got a new girlfriend.”
“I’m not brushing you under the rug. I’m telling you right here, right now, that you have no place in my life. None of it belongs to you, and it never will again. That baby isn’t mine, and we both know it.”
Her glazed eyes bounce around the coffee shop, a volcanic heat climbing her neck, erupting in her cheeks.
“Here are your choices, Courtney,” Adam starts quietly. “You can prove it right now, take a test and prove that baby is mine. But when the results show I’m not the father, I’ll sue you for defamation, and all the money will go directly to the young mother’s shelter downtown. Or you can admit this baby isn’t mine. You can make a public announcement that you were lying, that Rosie had nothing to do with our relationship ending. I don’t give a fuck whether you tell them the truth about who cheated, as long as you tell the truth about Rosie. We’re gonna resolve this one way or another, but none of these involve you and me and a future together.”
He threads his fingers through mine, and together, we turn toward the door. We only make it three steps before he turns back around.
“And no offense, Courtney, but fuck you. Fuck you for using me to make you happy until you decided you didn’t need me anymore. For taking what you wanted and leaving me with nothing. For staying for everything I gave you and giving me nothing in return. You gave me nothing . Not love, not happiness, and sure as hell not your respect. You took my confidence and all my self-worth, and I hurt someone I love because you made me feel like she wouldn’t be able to love me for me. You did that. And I fucking let you.”
He rubs his jaw, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest. “You know, oddly enough, I wouldn’t change a thing. Otherwise, I would’ve stayed in a miserable relationship, and I wouldn’t have found Rosie and Connor. I wouldn’t know real love, what it’s like to feel it, what it’s like to be loved that way, if it wasn’t for them. And I will always choose them.” He points a shaking finger in her face. “Fuck you. Full offense.”
She blinks those baby blue eyes and sniffles, her mouth opening, almost as if she might actually try her luck at responding.
But I’m so proud of my man, the way he’s stuck up for himself, because it’s never easy to do. And now I want to show him exactly how it feels to have someone always on your side. So when she spits out her first word, I hold up my finger, silencing her.
“You gave up the right to your happy ending with him the moment you chose to hurt him instead of love him. Now I’m going to give him the happy ending he deserves. Every day, I’m going to choose to respect him. Every day, I’m going to choose to lift him up instead of tear him down. Every day, I’m going to choose to stand by his side. Every day, I’m going to choose to love him. Every damn day, Courtney, I’m going to choose him, and he’s going to choose me back. And that’s our happy ending.”
He hasn’t stopped looking at me since we left the coffee shop.
He was looking at me as he held the door for me, and he was looking at me when he tripped over the curb and fell against the hood of his truck. He was looking at me as he tucked me into the passenger seat, smacked his forehead off the door frame. And he was looking at me the entire drive home when he nearly ran a red.
He’s still looking at me now, even as I kick off my shoes in his front hallway, hang my coat in the closet. I feel his gaze touch my back as I stroll down the hall and into the kitchen, gabbing on about anything and everything to distract me from the fact that, between all the staring, he hasn’t spoken a single damn word to me since we walked out on Courtney.
“Are you still up for dinner and drinks for Christmas Eve at Carter and Ollie’s tomorrow? I found gingerbread Oreos at that little grocery store on the other side of town. I picked them up for Carter.” I open the fridge, bulging my eyes at nothing as the cool air brushes my cheeks, a welcome reprieve from the sear of Adam’s gaze. I grab a water bottle and close the door, guzzling half of it while I lean against the counter. “Jaxon said he’s bringing Mittens, so Connor will be psyched. Hey, did you see the weather forecast? It’s supposed to snow. Imagine that, huh? Snow.”
I drain the rest of the water, letting it sit in my cheeks for a moment as I bob my head. Then, I do what I do best, make a fool out of myself when I forget to swallow before opening my mouth. “Marco—” I sputter the water into my hands, waving my hand around like I’m not choking, my eyes watering. “Marco was measuring my room yesterday. Says it’ll make a nice yoga studio. Then Archie reminded him he hasn’t done yoga in two years, so Marco looked him dead in the eye while he ordered a new mat and five outfits from Lululemon.” I force a chuckle as I head for the garage to recycle my bottle. “Yeah, I’m really gonna miss—ah !”
Adam stops me with his hand wrapped around the back of my neck. Slowly, his fingers creep up into my hair, and he pulls my back against his chest. Soft lips touch the shell of my ear, hot, shuddered breaths rolling down my neck, pebbling my nipples beneath my top.
“Lose the fucking clothes, trouble.”
“Clothes? But—”
“Lose. The fucking. Clothes .”
I tear at my hoodie, yanking it over my head. The jeans go next, and when one pant leg gets caught around my ankle, Adam pushes me against the wall, holding me there with his hand between my shoulder blades while he ditches my pants. His palm slides slowly down my spine, and he flicks the clasp on my bra, guiding the straps down my arms. Thumbs hook in my panties, and the torturous speed he drags them over my hips, down my legs, has me trembling.
His chest presses against my back as he palms one breast, his other hand pushing between my legs. I sigh as he strokes me, and he hums as I soak his fingers.
“What did you say back there? At the coffee shop?”
I close my eyes, trying to remember the words that left that stunned look on Courtney’s face while he plunges two fingers inside me. “That I choose you. Every day.”
“Mmm. And that last piece? About the happy ending?”
“It’s you. You’re my happy ending.”
He shudders, his hand coasting up to grip my throat as he opens his mouth on my neck, slow, wet kisses and grazing teeth. His bulge presses into my lower back, and I smile as the realization hits. He’s turned on. I stuck up for him, to someone who’s done nothing but hurt and disrespect him, and he’s turned on.
“I love you, Adam. I’m always going to love you.”
There’s a brief pause where his movements still and he rests his forehead on my shoulder, like he’s savoring the moment. And then he spins me around, tosses me over his shoulder, and carries me back into the kitchen.
He drops me on the island, a starved look in his eyes as he holds my gaze and discards his clothes behind him. Jesus, I’ve never seen him so hard, standing so tall, so proud, his cock bobs against his belly button.
“Spread your legs,” he demands, fisting his cock. “Show me that perfect, wet pussy.”
I set my feet flat on the counter, baring myself to him. His deep-belly groan sends a shiver down my spine, and heat settles in my clit, throbbing with need as he wraps his fingers around my ankles, settling himself between my legs.
“That’s a good girl, angel. Want me to show you how good?”
“Yes, please.”
I’m hot all over, a wild, unrestrained need for this man to bury himself inside me until he’s all I can feel, until I can’t remember my own name.
He guides me down to my back, spreading me out on the countertop, pressing tender kisses along the inside of my thigh. Electric blue eyes flip to mine, and my teeth press into my trembling lower lip as I watch his tongue flick out, licking me slowly from bottom to top.
“I’ll never get over the way you taste,” is all he says, barely a murmur, and then he dives in.
God, it’s everything I’ve ever wanted, the way he eats me. Feral and starved, like he needs me to survive. Reverent and all-consuming, like he worships every inch of this body. He laps at my pussy, sucks my swollen clit into his mouth, sinks two fingers inside me, and fucks me until I see stars, bucking my hips and tearing at his soft curls. And when he’s done, he pulls me up, yanks me to the edge of the counter, and wraps my legs around his hips.
Fingers sift through my waves, tightening around them as he forces my gaze to his, drops his sweet mouth against mine for a long, slow kiss. And when he drives himself inside me, pulling a cry from my throat as his fingertips dig into my hip, I swear to God I see the light.
“If I’m your happy ending, you’re my heaven. There’s nothing else I need from this world. I could live here forever, in this place where I’m yours and you’re mine. There’s never been anything more beautiful than this version of paradise. I’m certain of it.”