SWNOVELS Unravel Me: Chapter 29
“You’re really good at that.”
God, he’s so cute, sitting here beside me, trying to make conversation. Why else would he be surprised that I, a fourth-year vet student and mom, am good at tending to injuries? It’s been a slew of remarks since we got here ten minutes ago, less compliments and more general observations. You’ve got a braid in your hair today. I like your purple hair clip. You smell like oranges. Is it just me, or is this grass really green?
My favorite? When he looked at me, swallowed, and whispered, There are thirty-six trees in this park. I counted.
I finish cleaning Adam’s busted knuckles, smearing ointment over them. “Do you want a Batman Band-Aid to match Connor’s?”
Connor taps the bandage on his forehead. “Ba-man.” He pats Adam’s hand. “Dada, ba-man.”
“Do you think he’s calling me Batman?” Adam whispers as I stick a bandage over his knuckles.
“I think you very well might be his personal Batman.”
His chest puffs with pride, and I swallow my snicker. This man is nothing short of a superhero. I thought it when he stormed out of Brandon’s apartment, and it was the only thing on my mind when he walked out of Dairy Queen with my son on his shoulders, bloodied knuckles wrapped around Connor’s foot, a tray of sundaes in his other hand. The sight did something feral to me, and I was back to chanting my brain/tits mantra in my head.
“Thank you,” I whisper as we watch Connor and Bear in the grass. “For sticking up for me and Connor.”
“I’m always going to have your back, Rosie.” He lays his hand over mine. “How are you feeling?”
“A little scared, to be honest. I know it’s the right decision, removing Brandon from Connor’s life for now. He’s been halfway out the door since before he was born, and putting Connor’s safety at risk is unacceptable. But doing it all on my own now sounds kinda scary.”
“You’re not alone. You have Archie and Marco. You have me.”
I focus on the napkin I tear apart between my fingers. “We’re not anyone’s responsibility.”
“No, you’re not. You’re our family.” Tentatively, he tips my chin up, brushing my bangs back. “I’m sorry my actions made you feel like you and Connor weren’t a priority. Of all the things I’ve regretted in my life, lying to you about who I am takes the cake. The thing is, Rosie, when I lied to you, it was myself I wasn’t choosing. My heart has chosen you every step of the way.”
“Will you tell me what happened?”
He rests his arms on his knees, his eyes on Connor and Bear.
“It’s always been about hockey, you know? It was about hockey when we got Bear because Courtney said she was bored being at home by herself, and it was about hockey when he was three months old and I had to start leaving him with Carter’s mom when I wasn’t home because Courtney was tired of being responsible for him.” He pulls a blade of grass, fiddling with it between his fingers. “It was about hockey when I came home from a trip and found Courtney in bed with another man, and it’s been about hockey for every single woman I’ve been on a date with since.”
His gaze comes to mine, quiet, reserved. “Ironic, isn’t it? Courtney said she cheated because I wasn’t home enough to give her the attention she needed, but she wouldn’t leave, either, because hockey supported her lifestyle. Every date has been questions about contracts and salaries, vacation properties, and how many cars sit in my garage. It’s always been about hockey, Rosie, and it was so damn exhausting not being enough for anyone without it.”
He looks down, shrugging. “I got to this point where all I wanted to do was give up. And then I met you, and you had no idea who I was. And you liked me anyway, all the pieces nobody else bothered to look at. I saw a chance, and I ran with it. I’m not proud, but I also won’t lie to you: this summer with you, forgetting about all the shit that came with being the famous version of me…it was the best summer I’ve ever had. It was about me and you, about Connor, about the time we spent together and everything we were building. I know I hurt you, and it’s no excuse, but fuck, Rosie, having you choose me …it fixed something inside me. For the first time in a long time, I felt worthy.”
It’s heartbreaking seeing him like this, curled in on himself, so unsure of how incredible he is and everything he has to offer, at the hands of people who never deserved any part of him. I hate that careless people broke such a kindhearted man, wore him down to a place where he felt he needed to hide something so important just so someone would give him a chance.
I cover his hand with mine, stopping his fidgeting. “You did the same for me, you know? You fixed something inside me. Something that had been broken for so long, I thought it couldn’t possibly be made whole again. I’m not sure I really saw my worth before you. Not as a mom, a friend, or my potential as a partner. Now I’m certain in it.”
Proud blue eyes move between mine. “I did that?”
“You did that. I’m sorry people didn’t take the time to see what a wonderful man you are beyond hockey, Adam. But it’s their loss.” I watch as Connor crawls across our picnic blanket and into Adam’s lap, settling against his chest as Bear follows suit, draping his head across both their legs. “And our gain.”
“What if you don’t like the hockey side of me?”
Thing is, I already know I love it. I’ve spent the last two weeks watching him. Highlight reels, postgame interviews, preseason games. The one thing I saw with clarity was that he’s the same type of person on ice as he is off it. Full of life. Dominating. He celebrates all the victories and lifts his teammates up when they’re struggling. Someone who tries to stack everything on his own shoulders, even though his friends don’t let him. He’s fiercely protective of his team, the same way he is his family.
How do I explain to him that I see him?
“What was the first thing you noticed about me that day on the trail?” I ask him.
Adam grins, electric, like he can see the memory play out right before his eyes. “Your smile. It was so big, so genuine, while my dog sat his hundred-and-forty-pound ass in your lap. And then you laughed, and it was just as beautiful, just as happy and addictive as your smile, and I knew right away your heart would match.” The smile in his eyes traces the shape of my mouth, his thumb running along the dimple in my chin. “Those were the first things I noticed about you.”
“Do you remember when I said I dye my hair pink because of my mom?”
“You reminded her of the pink peonies you planted. Fresh and captivating.” He cocks his head, smiling. “One of my favorite descriptions of you.”
My heartbeat trips, buzzing at the confirmation that this man has always heard me, always seen so much more. “That’s half the reason. The other half is because I wanted to be noticed. So badly, I wanted someone’s attention. I hadn’t been able to capture anyone’s all those years in foster care. I thought if someone noticed me for my hair, if they were curious enough and spent any amount of time talking to me…maybe they’d notice other things. Maybe, if they’d just give me a chance, they’d find other things to like. And it worked often enough, though not really the way I hoped. It was always the first thing people noticed about me, but not you. You saw so much more, right from the beginning. You made me feel seen for all the right reasons.”
I reach across the blanket, lacing my fingers through his. He’s so warm, the way he always is, this firm touch that makes every mountain seem small. With his hand in mine, I’ve never been more confident.
“I’ve always seen you, Adam. And I’ve loved everything I’ve seen. I know you’ve hidden this part of you for a reason, but I’m certain I’m going to love it too.”
He stares down at my sleeping son in his lap, sifting his fingers through his blond waves. “I just want to be perfect for you two.”
“I don’t need perfect. I need the mess, the chaos, all your fears and your insecurities. I’ve given you mine, and you’ve walked me through all of them. Let me walk with you through your chaos.”
“What if it’s too much? All the time apart, the games, the media. What if it’s too hard?”
“That’s life, isn’t it? Figuring it out when it gets hard? It’s how we grow. And I’ve spent so many years growing by myself. Now I want to grow with somebody else.”
Hope sparks in his eyes, and I swear his body comes alive. “With me?”
“With you, Adam.”
He grins down at our hands, watching his thumb move along my skin. When he looks up at me, there’s a patience there, a reminder that this man has always understood even the deepest parts of me. “I think you need me to take it slow.”
“I think so too,” I admit, gauging his reaction. But he just smiles.
“I think that might be what I need too. I’m so certain that you belong in my world, but I want to do this right, Rosie. I want to give you all of me, give you the time to get used to all this at whatever speed you need.” He lifts my hand to his mouth, sweeping a featherlight kiss across my knuckles. “So take your time, okay? Because when you’re ready, I’m not gonna let you go again.”
I’ve always been a fan of silence. The good kind, where everything is comfortable. The kind of silence that comes with peace, with laying it all out there, working through your problems together and, finally, finding the path where you can walk together, side by side. It’s the kind of silence I’d be happy to stay in, and I do just that as we ride the elevator up to my apartment.
The door opens as soon as we stop in front of it, almost as if someone had been watching through the peephole. Archie stands there, his gaze moving cautiously between us, and Adam sticks his hand out.
“We haven’t formally met. I’m Adam.”
Marco’s face appears over Archie’s shoulder. “Oh my God. He’s here. For research purposes, Adam, could you lift your shirt up? Rosie says you have an eight-pack, but Archie thinks she’s exaggerating. We have a bit of a bet going, and—” he lays his hand over his chest “—I bet on you, obviously —so if you—”
Archie silences him with a hand over his face. “Please keep your shirt on. Marco’s working on boundaries, but it’s nice to formally meet you.” He crouches down, scratching Bear’s ears. “Hey, big boy. You are every bit as handsome as Rosie promised.” His eyes come to mine, searching. When I smile, he smiles too. “Connor, wanna play trains while Mama says goodnight to Adam?”
Connor races through the door with a scream, then skids to a stop. He runs back to us, tossing his arms around Bear’s burly neck. “Bye, big dog. Lub you.” He collides with Adam’s legs next, wrapping his arms around them. “Bye, Dada. Lub you.”
Adam scoops him against his chest. “Bye, buddy. Love you too.”
The door closes behind Connor, leaving us alone in the hall.
“I missed that,” he says quietly. “Dada. I know it doesn’t mean…” He shakes his head, tucking his hands in his pockets. “It makes me feel special to him, that’s all.”
“You are special to him, Adam. You’re special to both of us.” I study this man before me as he nods, eyes on the ground, the strangest, most endearing mix of confident and bashful, the purest heart underneath it all. “How did you know?”
“Know what?”
“Stardust Lane,” I murmur the name of the street I spent my childhood on. The name of the scholarship that conveniently appeared after mine was lost.
Adam flushes, chuckling nervously. “You knew that was me, huh? I, uh, Googled you.”
I snort a laugh. “I guess this whole mess would’ve been avoided if I’d Googled you .”
Adam looks down at his dog, sitting exactly halfway between us, like he refuses to choose just one of us. “I think Bear brought me you, you know. I would’ve never had you and Connor if he hadn’t knocked you on your ass that day in the mountains. And while he was in surgery, I realized that.”
He takes a step closer to me, and my heart jumps to my throat. “But I also realized I had your parents to thank. That you wouldn’t have wound up in Vancouver if they hadn’t brought you here and made you fall in love. That you might not have ever wanted to be a vet if it weren’t for your dad, or for the way your parents raised you, gave you this incredible, empathetic heart. I couldn’t sit back and watch you put your dream on hold for another year, not after all the work you’ve put into this. I know you didn’t want me to pay for it, Rosie, but giving you this…it’s one of the best things I’ve ever spent my money on. And as for Stardust Lane? I wanted to find a way to honor your parents’ role in your life and your future. Because I know they’ve been with you every step of the way, proud as hell of their daughter.”
Sneaky tears sting my eyes, and I sniffle, fanning at my face. “Why do you always have to make me emotional?”
He chuckles softly, brushing a stray tear away. “I love your heart, Rosie. It’s what’s going to make you such an amazing vet. It’s what makes you you .”
“Thank you for believing in me, Adam.”
“Thank you for giving me a second chance. I won’t need a third, though. I promise.”
The promise feels as good as the warmth of his hand cupping my cheek, and I sink into both of them. “No more secrets, though, okay?”
“Okay.” He pulls his hand back. His eye tics, and he flexes his fingers, curling them into fists before he blurts, “I love Fruit Roll-Ups. I know it seems like I mostly only eat healthy food, but I love Fruit Roll-Ups so much, I’ve got eight boxes in my pantry right now. I’ve tried to stop, but I can’t.” He exhales, so long and so loud, a hand on his torso as he deflates. “Wow, I feel so much better.”
That that’s the worst of his secrets is so damn telling about the type of person he is, and when I laugh, he grins.
His fingers find mine, twining them slowly. “I spent most of the last two weeks in my kitchen, staring at my green cupboards, because I didn’t want to forget what color your eyes were.” His eyes roam over me, and my heart kicks into high gear at the heavy look there. “I wouldn’t have given up, just so you know. And now, I’ll do everything you need me to do until you’re ready. I’ll take it as slow as you need me to. I’ll be patient.”
“Ready to spend your days waiting on a woman, huh?”
“If that woman is you? Absolutely.” He drops a kiss to my cheek, soft lips finding my ear, lingering there with his whispered words. “I’m gonna marry you someday, after all. Batman always gets the girl.”
He backs away, a proud smirk on his face, before he heads to the elevator. Playful eyes come to mine before the doors slide closed, and he winks. “Night, trouble.”