Unravel Me (Playing For Keeps Book 3)

I’ve thought about fate a lot in my life.

Recognized that if my first mother hadn’t made the decision to not raise me, if my grandma didn’t die, I would have never found my parents and the incredible family who chose to love a kid they had zero obligation to love. Without my family, I likely wouldn’t have been able to follow my dream to be a professional hockey player. Hell, I don’t know if I even would have had the dream at all.

If I hadn’t been drafted to Vancouver and relocated to Canada from Colorado, I would have never found my best friends.

If I didn’t travel for hockey, I might not have come home from a twelve-day road trip to find my girlfriend fucking another man in our bed.

If I hadn’t caught Courtney cheating on me, I would have never forced myself to leave.

If I hadn’t forced myself to leave, I wouldn’t have been on that trail through Mount Fromme nearly two months ago.

If I hadn’t been on that trail, I wouldn’t have found the very best and brightest thing in my world.

I think about fate a lot. I think about all the shit things I’ve had to overcome to get to where I am now, the happiest I can remember ever being, with a sweet little beauty tucked into my side, her flushed cheek resting on my shoulder, soft hand splayed over my stomach. I wouldn’t have these freckles, delicious flecks of honey sprinkled over sun-kissed skin. Not this nose that crinkles in the sweetest way when she’s trying not to smile, these wide, plush hips that demand my eyes follow them everywhere they go, this brilliant smile that manages to turn my whole day around and give me hope for a future I’d given up on.

I’ve learned not to ask why, but I find myself always wondering how. How the hell did I find myself here? How did I get so damn lucky? How did I find her, and how do I make sure I get to keep her?

Thick lashes flutter, and sleepy moss eyes blink up at me. A shy smile tugs up one side of her mouth first before giving way to a brilliant explosion that this perfect girl tries to hide by burying her face in my chest.

“Why are you staring at me?” Rosie mumbles against me.

“Why are you hiding from me?”

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.”

She lifts her face, hair a wonderful mess, playful gaze narrowed. “You’re annoying.”

Chuckling, I roll her onto her back and sprawl out on top of her, holding her wrists above her head. “I don’t know how I found you, but I don’t want to waste my time wondering. I can’t believe I just stumbled on you on a normal day, that you walked into my life and didn’t turn around and walk right back out. I don’t want to know how or why I got so lucky; I just want to accept that I did and never question it.

“I don’t want to waste my time asking pointless questions, imagining a life where you’re anywhere other than right next to me. I want to spend my days giving you the love you’ve always deserved, the kind you’ve dreamed of, and I want to show you how thankful I am for giving it back to me. You’re mine, Rosie, and I’m yours. That’s all I need to know. That’s why I’m staring at you.”

“Oh.” She tilts her chin, sweeping a breathless kiss across my lips. “Guess that’s okay then.”

“Mmm, you guess? Well, I can’t have you guessing. Need to have you certain.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

I trail my nose down the slope of her neck, then lower, until I can cup her full breast in my hand, twirl my tongue over that taut, dusky bud. My fingertips glide over the dip in her waist, push their way between her luscious thighs, plunging into a pool of heat, wringing a cry from her throat. “By fucking it into you.”

“We only have one condom left.”

Sitting back on my heels, I grab the last sealed wrapper from the pile of torn ones on the table. I lift a brow and sheath my cock as Rosie watches, captivated. “Better make it count then, huh, trouble?”

The name does something to her, makes her come alive with confidence, maybe. Because she gets this wicked gleam in her eyes, trying and failing to bite back her smirk. She climbs to her knees, her palm hitting my chest as she pushes me down to my back and straddles my hips, trapping my cock between her wet pussy and my stomach.

“Look at you,” I murmur. “So sexy when you’re taking control. Are you gonna sit on my cock?”

“I don’t know. Teasing you might be fun.”

“Teasing me?”

“Mhmm…” One hand disappears in her hair, the other braced on my abs as she slowly—so fucking slowly —slides along the length of my cock, right up to the head, and then back, soaking me. “Teasing you.”

“Rosie,” I warn, gripping her hips when she does it again, grinding her to a halt at the tip of my cock. “I’m not always patient.”

“But you’re always kind.”

I push up on my elbow, bringing her mouth to mine with a fistful of her hair. “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’ll put you on your hands and knees, bury myself inside you and fuck you from behind until the only word you remember is my name, and you can feel me even when we’re not together.” I nip her lower lip. “I’m weak for you—so fucking weak —but the bedroom is the last place you’ll see it.”

Rosie grins, smug and proud, before she takes my cock in one hand, pushing me back down with the other. She sinks down my length, a magnificent sight as her head lolls backward, lips parting on a low, long gasp while everything inside me lights up like a pinball machine, begging me to take control.

“Oh God. This is…” She shifts, rocking forward, and falls forward with a whimper, nails biting into my chest. “Yep, this is it. My favorite of your collection. Tell your friend thanks.”

I pick up the crumpled wrapper, chuckling when I read it. G-Spot, For Her Pleasure. I open my mouth to tell her I’m not going to tell Jaxon shit—it’ll go right to his head—but she picks herself up and sinks down a second time, deeper this time, seating herself all the way on my cock, and I toss my head back with a low growl, fingers digging into her hips with a punishing grip.

Rosie leans over, waves falling around our faces. “I like you weak for me,” she whispers. “I’m weak for you, too, except, somehow, I feel so much stronger with you.” Her soft hand grazes my cheek, and she presses her mouth to mine, coaxing it open. “Thank you for building me up, for making me feel safe enough to be myself, for being the type of man I’m so proud to have my son look up to. Thank you for being you, Adam, exactly as you are.”

Fate has taken so much only to grant me so many invaluable things in this life. And as much as I’ve tried not to question it, to simply take what it gives me, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes question the process of getting there.

Because if Courtney had loved me exactly as I was and it still didn’t work out, I wouldn’t have lied to Rosie about who I am.

But Courtney didn’t love me for who I was.

And I did lie.

And Rosie has no idea who she’s really dating.

But this isn’t fate’s fault. It’s mine.

“Did you use them all?”

“I’m not telling you how many times we had sex.” If I were bragging, though, I’d definitely be telling my friends that it’s a miracle my dick is still attached to my body, and that I’m no longer at risk of developing premature arthritis. I don’t feel like bragging though. I’m nervous, and my stomach hurts.

Jaxon wags his brows. “So you did have sex.”

“What? No, I—ugh.” I cross my arms over my chest and look away. If I don’t make eye contact, there’s a better chance of me not spilling the juicy deets everyone keeps asking for. “Shut up.”

“I’m not asking how many times you had sex. I’m asking if you used all the condoms.”

“Telling you how many condoms we used tells you how many times we had sex.”

Carter winks. “Unless you went in bare after you ran out.”

“I did not.”

“You fucker,” Jaxon muses. “You did use all the condoms. Jesus, that’s, like, six times.”

“Seven,” I mumble, ignoring Carter’s hand when he holds it up for a high five. He resorts to high-fiving Garrett. “But the last one was this morning.” I point at the two of them, shoving their hands into a box of Oreos. “If you two don’t stop eating, you’re gonna be covered in cookie crumbs for your interviews.”

Garrett frowns at his hands before wiping them on his pants. Carter, on the other hand, crunches another cookie between his teeth while looking me dead in the eye.

I roll my eyes. “I don’t give a fuck what you look like in your interview, but I know for a fact Ollie dressed you in that outfit this morning, and if it’s covered in crumbs, it’s gonna be your ass.”

“I can handle Ollie,” he says, licking his fingers, and I snort a laugh.

“Okay, bud. Let’s pretend your five-foot wife doesn’t have your balls in a vice.”

He jabs me in the shoulder. “Five—” jab “—foot—” jab “—one . She’s just got such a powerful personality. You know she’s got those teacher eyes.” He points two fingers aggressively at his eyes. “Sees everything. And don’t get me started on that teacher voice. Turns me on and scares the fuck outta me at the same time.” He sets his cookies down, dusts his hands off, adjusts his junk, and frowns. “Guess I’ll put these away for now.”

Emmett hops off the stool he’s been sitting on for the last ten minutes, shaking hands with the sports journalist who’s been interviewing him. His eyes widen with his grin as he jogs over to us.

“Did I hear you say you went through seven condoms last night? Cara’s gonna lose her shit. She says you’ve been ignoring her messages. She’s upset with you.”

Groaning, I pull my phone out of my pocket. I’ve got twenty-three notifications, and all of them are from my group chat with the girls.

OLIVIA

Why is he ignoring us?

CARA

We know where you live, Lockwood. Nobody ignores Cara Brodie and lives to talk about it.

JENNIE

Our man def journeyed to Pussy Palace last night. Might’ve gotten lost there too.

OLIVIA

I just wanna know if she treated you right.

Oh! Did you try that move from the audiobook? You know the scene, where she’s on her hands and knees???

JENNIE

I feel like Adam’s a freak between the sheets. It’s always the quiet ones, you know?

CARA

If we don’t hear from you in the next ten seconds, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Do you hear me, Lockwood? I. CANNOT. BE. HELD. RESPONSIBLE. FOR. MY. ACTIONS.

This motherfucker is going down.

Sᴇaʀ*ᴄh the (F)indNƟvᴇl.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

JENNIE

**Rosie-fucker

I tuck my phone away like I’ve been doing all day, because I can’t deal with these three right now. My head hurts when I think about Rosie. It means acknowledging the mistakes I’ve made, the ways I’ve failed her, and I’m not sure I’m ready to face a version of me who’s been anything other than honest.

Scrubbing a hand over my mouth, I spin away from my friends, tossing an excuse over my shoulder about needing some air. I’m not surprised when I hear the door open behind me a few seconds after it closes, but I am a little surprised to see Jaxon take a seat beside me on the bench out front.

He hands me a bottle of water. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.”

He huffs a laugh, looking down at his feet. “You know, I suck at relationships, but when a woman says she’s fine, she’s almost always lying.”

“I’m not a woman.”

“But you’re not fine, either, are you?”

I glance at my friend, the easy way he sits there, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. “Do you really want to know?”

“Sure. I’m here, aren’t I? Plus, you look like you’re gonna puke, so you should probably do it before you get behind that camera.”

Bracing my elbows on my thighs, I focus on the water bottle in my hands, picking mindlessly at the paper label. “I’m in love with Rosie.”

“Yeah, I figured that much. You talk about her all the time, and you’re constantly grinning at your phone like a high school girl texting her crush. Or Carter texting Olivia. Garrett and Jennie too.” He sighs. “And Emmett and Cara. You guys all suck, to be honest.”

I laugh but finish with a sigh, dragging my hands through my hair. “I really fucked up, man.”

“With Rosie? I thought last night went well.”

“It did. It was great. Perfect. She’s…she’s fucking perfect. It’s just…something changed last night. She opened up about some serious stuff, some vulnerable shit that’s just…awful. Not fair. She hasn’t had an easy life, and she sat there and told me all about it.”

“Are you feeling bad about having sex after that? Because she was vulnerable?”

My knee bounces, and I squeeze the water bottle. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I keep trying to swallow them down. I’ve never been so careless, so selfish, and I can’t accept that the one time I was, it was to somebody who means so much to me, somebody I’ve never wanted to hurt. “I’m feeling bad because she’s given me everything, and I lied to her.”

Jaxon hesitates, then hangs his head. “You still haven’t told her.”

“No.”

“Dude .”

“I know. Fuck.” I drop my exhausted face to my hands. “Fuck , I’m such an asshole. I feel sick about it. It’s gone on so long now, way longer than I ever planned.”

“Why, man? Why’d you let it get this far? Fuck, Adam, you could’ve been outed by anyone at any time. Training camp starts soon, and then preseason games. What were you gonna tell her when you were out of the country?”

My stomach churns. “I was just…scared. Fucking terrified. Being Adam Lockwood, NHL goalie, has brought me nothing but trouble. I just wanted to be me. And that’s all I was to Rosie. I’ve never had to worry about her wanting me for anything other than me. Never had to worry about her lying to make me like her. It was easy. Fuck, it was just…nice .”

“I get it, Adam, I do. But you realize that everything you were worried about her doing to you, you turned around and did to her, don’t you? You lied to her because you wanted her to like you.”

What I’ve been doing has never been lost to me, and maybe that makes it worse. All this time I’ve been terrified about being deceived. Turns out I’m the only one doing the deceiving.

My throat burns, and a headache knocks at my temples. “What if she doesn’t forgive me?”

“Aw, man.” Jaxon squeezes my shoulder. “She will, buddy. I know she will. You’re still the same guy you’ve always been to her. Just richer, and famous.” He sighs, spinning the hat on his head. “Look, man, you just gotta come clean. Be honest with her, and don’t hold back. Chicks love that shit, when you’re vulnerable with them. Tell her why you were scared, apologize, ask her to forgive you, and then move forward.”

“It’s that easy, huh?”

“The solution? Yeah, it is. I think honesty pretty much always works. But stepping up and being honest when you haven’t been? Not so easy.”

“Fucking tell me about it. I kept telling myself I’d tell her everything, but the longer it went on, the harder it got. I liked the life we created, like we were in our own little bubble. I wanted to hold onto it just a little longer. Now the thought of telling her—after everything she’s given me, especially after last night—feels impossible.”

The sound of the doors opening has both our heads swiveling. One of the assistants pops her head out. “You’re up, Adam.”

Jaxon stands, squeezing my shoulder. “Talk to Rosie. Be honest with her. It’ll work out.”

I don’t normally put much stock in Jaxon’s relationship advice, but this time I’m determined for him to be right. It’ll work out, because there’s no other choice. Rosie belongs in my life, and I’m going to make sure she stays there. I know this means getting vulnerable, opening up about insecurities I’ve been fighting against. But Rosie has given me so much, trusted me with her secrets, her fears, her heart, and most precious of all, her son. She’s trusted me with all of it, even when it wasn’t easy for her to do so.

She’s been so much stronger than I have. This time, I’m going to be strong.

That’s what I’m telling myself as I walk back inside. It’s all that’s on my mind as I sit down in front of the cameras, turn on the Adam Lockwood charm everyone loves.

We do these preseason interviews every year, at the end of summer when everyone’s gathering back in Vancouver to get ready for training camp. It’s the same questions every time: What did you get up to this summer, how are you preparing for the upcoming season, what are your hopes for the season and for the team? Each interview ends with the reporter trying to dig up what people really care about—something about our personal lives. For most of the guys, it’s a chance to brag on their families. Carter brought a stack of pictures of his daughter to show off, and even though he’s the last interview, everybody’s already seen every picture at least twice today. Garrett nearly brought the engagement ring he’s planning on giving to Jennie, until he realized she’d be watching the interview when it airs in a couple weeks. Instead, I watched him beam from ear to ear while he told the journalist all about the house he and Jennie just moved into, the dance studio she’s been working so hard at getting ready to open.

My friends are happy, and I love watching them brag on the people that make them that way. But I’m happy, too, and I’m tired of not being able to brag on the two people who make me this way, the ones that matter most to me.

“How do your parents feel about you re-signing with Vancouver for another eight years?” Chuck, the sports journalist, asks. “Word on the street is your dad was hoping you’d take Colorado up on their offer.”

Laughing, I skim my hand along my jaw. “Yeah, my parents would have loved to have me back home. My mom said something about me moving back in with them. But my heart is here in Vancouver, and my parents know that. I’m working on convincing them to relocate, but then Garrett wouldn’t have someone to send him over snack packages from the States.”

Chuck laughs. “Yeah, he mentioned something about Dunkaroos and special edition Pop-Tarts. But let’s circle back to what you said just now.”

“That I’m trying to convince my parents to move here?”

“Aw, c’mon now, Lockwood. You know that’s not what everyone wants to know.”

I smile at my lap, rubbing the nape of my neck. I know where this is going, because nearly every interview not game related goes down this road at some point.

“You said your heart is here in Vancouver.” Chuck holds up his hands in surrender the second my mouth opens. “Now I know, I know. It’s only meant to explain that you belong here. But I’ll have a lot of angry women on my hands later on if I don’t ask the question everyone wants the answer to, especially since the NHL’s resident serial dater seems to have completely disappeared off the dating scene in recent months.”

Chuck taps his pen off the papers in front of him, grinning. “So, Mr. Lockwood, everyone wants to know…is there someone special in your life?”