Unperfect

Mia

“Eyes, nose, throat and groin,” Teddy told me as I kicked the training bag again. Roger lay on his back, basking in the sunshine of the garden and letting his humans do their bizarre punching. It was two days after my first physio session and my shoulder was already feeling like it had a little more range of movement. “You’ve gotta go for the vulnerable areas, because you’re going to be smaller than most people out there – and weaker.”

“Gee, thanks,” I said to him, aiming a punch at his bicep, which he didn’t even flinch at.

“Case in point,” he said with a smug expression, pointing from my fist to his arm and back again. “I barely felt that. I don’t even have to wear the training pads when we practice punching.”

“What? You don’t normally just hold your hands up for peeps to punch?’

“If I did that with my training buddies I would have multiple fractures and trips to the emergency room. Your punches – not so much.”

“Fine, fine, Mr Miyagi: eyes, nose, throat and groin. Got it.”

“So, groin kick is one of the best. Palm heel strike to the vulnerable areas. Combination of the two. Once the attacker’s down, you run. Whatever you’ve got on you, you can use. Got any keys?”

I turned to my rucksack and fished out my house keys.

“Okay, so hold them like this.” Teddy showed me how to grip the keys so they were sticking out. “Show me a hammer strike with the keys.” My arm sliced down forward through the air to plunge the keys into an invisible foe. “That’s it. Now, using your elbows is important, especially if your attacker is at close range and you can’t get enough momentum to throw a punch or a kick. So, elbow strike.” Teddy demonstrated and I copied him. Then Rodger jumped up and ran towards the house, barking and tail wagging.

“What’s going on?” Max was walking from the house towards us, frowning at me and giving Roger a distracted rub down as I did a series of elbow strikes into heel palm strikes.

“Mia asked me to teach her some more self defence.”

Max stared down at me and put his hands on his hips. He was still wearing his suit from earlier, but his tie was askew, a five o’clock shadow was darkening his jaw and some of his thick hair was curling around his nape.

“More self defence? When did you …” I saw the memory came back to Max of me and Teddy in the garden before. “Ah, right. I remember.” He shifted on his feet for a moment. “Sorry about that again, by the way,” he added in a low voice.

“You were only worried about Teddy,” I said, dropping my hands and taking a step towards Max. “You were just protecting him.”

Teddy snorted. “He was just being an arsehole.”

“Teddy!” I snapped but Max grinned.

“The kid’s right,” he said, giving Teddy a slap on the back. Teddy shook his head but there was a small smile on his face. Ever since refugegate and then the late pick up from the Pig and Whistle, Teddy seemed to have softened towards Max. He was less hostile. There was more light-hearted banter between them, which was how I suspected their relationship was before all the upheaval with Ted’s mum. It wasn’t completely without tension – there was still something underlying their interactions which I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Teddy seemed almost watchful, as if he was waiting for something, bracing for it even. “I’m an arsehole. But a curious one. What are you teaching her then?”

“Eyes, nose, throat, groin,” I chanted, showing him some kicks and heel palm strikes.”

He frowned. “It’s all very well punching the air, but with a real human, things are a bit different.”

I nodded and shrugged. Believe me, I knew how different things could be.

“You know you should run away if you can, Mia,” Max said. “Don’t try to fight someone if you can get away from them.”

I nodded again and held back an eye roll. If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was run away.

“Of course I told her that,” Teddy said, clearly miffed. “I’m not completely useless. Right, I’m off to training.”

“Hey,” I said, skipping after Teddy as he turned to leave and laying my hand on his arm. “Thank you for taking the time with me. I know you didn’t have to. I appreciate it.”

His cheeks went a little pink and he shrugged. He might try to hide behind a teenage mask of indifference, but I could tell he was chuffed he was helping me.

“You don’t have to thank me, alright? I-I …” He paused and glanced back at Max who was still out of hearing distance. “Listen, I’m not stupid. I know what a women’s refuge is, right? I know why people have to go there. If you want to be able to defend yourself then I’m going to help you.”

“Okay, honey,” I said softly, resisting the urge to pull him in for a hug, which I could tell would embarrass the hell out of him. His jaw tightened and I saw him swallow before he jerked his chin up and strode away back into the house. 

I walked back to Max and there was an awkward pause. Neither of us had mentioned the kiss in the two days since it happened, but you could cut the tension between us with a knife. “He’s a good kid,” I said, breaking the silence.

Max snorted. “He’s a punk.” He looked at my expression and smiled. “Okay, so when he’s not being a teenage arsehole I guess he can be a good kid. Sometimes. Did he show you how to break a hold?”

“Er … what now?”

“Break out of a hold – you know if someone grabs you from behind.”

I shook my head.

“Good – cause he’s a teenage punk. Bad – cause that’s one of the most important things to learn. I-” He swallowed and cleared his throat. “I can show you if you want?”

I nodded. Max was right – if I wanted to learn to defend myself I had to actually deal with a human.

“Do your worst,” I told him, bracing for impact. He chuckled.

“Mia, I’m not going to attack you. Look, stand with your back to me.” He stepped up in front of me took both my shoulders and spun me around so I was facing away from him. “I’m going to put my arms around you from behind very slowly, alright?”

I tensed. My right index finger started tapping onto my left wrist, centring me in the moment. I took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I said on the exhale. He’d moved closer – I could smell his aftershave mixed with fresh soap and underlying Maxness. His arms came up around me slowly. Rodger, sensing the tension, gave a short bark. His ears were forward and he was watching me.

“You tell me to stop anytime you need, Number Five,” Max told me. “I’ll drop away my arms any time you say, alright.”

“Right,” I said in a high, choked voice. “It’s fine. Go on.” His back pressed against my front and his huge arms came up around my waist, pulling me into him.

Max

She was shaking.

I could feel the fine tremors as her soft body moulded back into mine. Her breathing sped up and all her muscles tensed. I held still for a minute, waiting for her to tell me to release her. But my brave Number Five, she did that tapping thing on her wrist again and the shaking subsided … almost. Her hair smelt of strawberries. I had to conjure up an image of my nan making marmalade naked to will my body into relaxing. I gave it a few seconds but she was still too tense and her breathing too erratic so I let go and stood back.

“What was that?” she asked, turning to me with a confused expression.

“Have a break,” I said. “Take a breath. There’s no rush.” She wasn’t going to take anything in if she felt trapped and terrified. She blushed, probably guessing that I could tell how anxious she’d been. After a moment she shook her arms out, turned her back to me and told me to go for it again. I put my arms around her twice more, each time waiting a little longer before I let go. On the third time after I stepped back she turned to me with a frustrated expression.

“Are you actually going to teach me or what? I don’t think most attackers are going to just let me go.”

“Mia, I’m not an attacker,” I said in a gentle voice. “You’ve got to be relaxed to take it in – not scared to death.”

“I’m fine. I-” I raised an eyebrow and her eyes went to the side, before focusing back on me again. “Okay, but I will be fine now. Try it again.”

This time when I enclosed her in my arms she didn’t tense and she didn’t need to tap. 

“Okay so lean forward over my arms.” She did as I asked which pushed her bottom into my groin and I almost had to step away. “Bring your elbow up. Now, swing round and elbow strike me to push away.” Her elbow strike was completely pathetic but I let her go anyway.

“I did it!” she said and I stifled a laugh.

“Mia, I let you go again.”

“Oh.”

“You’ve got to go for it. Really smash me in the throat or nose. You won’t hurt me.” We tried it twice more. She gradually put more effort into her elbow strikes but they still didn’t make me release her.

“Okay, you need to get your rage on,” I told her. “There’s got to be some real anger behind your attempts. Forget who I am, okay? I’m not Max for the moment. I’m someone you’ve got to get away from. Someone you want to hurt.” She stared up at me and I saw her eyes fill with determination, her mouth set in a hard line before she turned her back to me again.

“Right, I’m ready,” she said, her voice low and steely, her fists clenched by her sides. As soon as my arms trapped her she jerked forward violently over my arms, nearly throwing me off balance, then her small elbow came up and slammed into my throat, forcing me to let her go. She shot forward as soon as my arms dropped and then turned to me with a huge smile on her face.

“I did it!” she shouted, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. Rodger bounced around her as well, barking his head off with excitement – never mind that his master could barely breathe. “Elbow strike, motherfucker!” she crowed.

I would have laughed but I was too occupied with trying to suck air in after the blow to my windpipe. “That’s great, Number Five,” I managed to get out in a choked voice once I could inhale enough air to survive on.

“Oh no,” she said, her eyes flying wide as she rushed to me. “Max, are you okay? You said I couldn’t hurt you.”

My breathing started to ease. One of my hands went to my neck to rub my throat. I could feel my eyes watering.

“Underestimated you,” I said, my voice no more than a pathetic croak now. She reached out for my hand that wasn’t clutching my throat and I took hers, giving it a squeeze.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered and I rolled my eyes.

“Stop apologising all the time. I told you to really give it some beans and you did. I’m proud of you: Though she be but little, she is fierce.”

“I didn’t know you could quote Shakespeare.”

“I might be a bit rough around the edges but I did English Lit GCSE like everyone else. Right, come on. I don’t think I can manage a curry now after you’ve mullered my throat, but there’s a chippy round the corner.”

Her face lit up like fish and chips was the finest dining available. “I’d love that.”

“Christ, you’re easy to please,” I told her, tugging her along and into the house.

“There’s nothing better than a chip butty.”

“You sure you’re not from up north, lass?”

I swept up my wallet from the side, shoved it into my pocket and then slung my other arm over Mia’s shoulders to walk to the front door. Pulling her into my side was instinctive. It was only when we were making our way down the driveway that I realised what I’d done. Up until then I had tried to make slow approaches as far as physical contact went. I worried that this was a step too far and loosened my grip. But instead of moving away from me or putting distance between us, Mia tentatively put her arm up around my waist and let her body relax into mine. By the time we made it to the chip shop I had such a huge smile on my face that I freaked out Brian behind the counter (he was used to me being a surly bastard most of the time – the blatant display of my teeth seemed to unnerve him. He couldn’t get us our battered haddock quick enough).

Mia paid. She insisted, and when I objected she pulled back from me, laid her small hand on my forearm and looked up at me, her brown eyes serious. “Let me do this Max. Just once, let me be the one getting you something you need.” How could I say no to that? I couldn’t go over how much she’d done for my business again – I was beginning to sound like a stuck record.

We ate straight out of the paper, sitting up on the harbour wall, watching the sunset and drinking slightly warm Sprite. We talked about Teddy and how he seems to be coming around slowly. How my sister has a huge crush on my best friend – Mia refused to comment on that one but her silence was deafening. I informed her that it’s been the worst kept secret ever since Yaz was ten years old so the confidentiality ship had sailed long ago anyway. After we’d binned the paper I decided I couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Mia, are you ready to tell me how you were hurt?”

Mia had been laughing after I’d told her the latest string of Yaz-related work demands – my sister wanted me to allow a mass yoga session during working hours. She also wanted me to import a full-size tree into the middle of the office space to improve air quality and, yes, so that employees could hug it at regular intervals. Actual tree hugging – the woman was a walking cliché.

Mia’s smile dropped at my question and she looked away. I noticed movement in her lap and when I looked down she was tapping on her wrist again.