Unperfect

Max

“Rugby boys, they play one,

They think sex is just for fun.

With a scrum down, line up, get into a ruck,

Rugby men aren’t worth a –”

“Okay, okay ladies,” I interrupted Mia, Yaz and Verity’s second rendition of a rugby song I hadn’t heard since my uni days – instigated of course by Yaz. “I think we’ve heard enough dirty songs for one night. Fergus needs to get t’bed.” Fergus was indeed fast asleep on his chair, snoring away happily. “We need to clear out.”

“Home!” shouted Yaz. “I love my flat.’

“I love your flat too,” slurred Mia, her eyes glassy as she put her arm around Yaz’s shoulders. “There’s all this …” she trailed off, disengaged her arm from Yaz’s shoulder and made waggled her fingers in the air, “Beautiful funky stuff everywhere. Like a magical little cave.”

“Hmm,” Yaz’s eyes were closed now and she was wearing a small smile as she leaned back against the booth. “My magic cave.”

Teddy sniggered and I punched the little shit on the arm. Okay, so it wasn’t a school night, but I was pretty sure calling your teenage stepson to come and pick you up at two in the morning on a Saturday was still not stellar parenting. Although Teddy seemed to be chuffed to bits I’d asked it of him.

“Don’t laugh at your aunt’s magic cave.”

Heath was laughing now as well.

“Whasso funny?” Mia slurred.

“They think they’re funny,” Yaz said. “You’re just jealous of my flat, you pricks.” 

“It’s so messy. I love it.”

‘S’not messy,” Yaz grumbled. “I just have a lot of stuff and its all on display like … like a museum.”

“The Museum of Yaz.”

“Awesome,” Yaz whispered, her body was slowly going more and more slack where she was sitting.

“Are we still talking about Auntie Yaz’s magic cave?” asked Teddy.

“Christ,” I muttered under my breath. I’d had enough experience with my sister to know when she was about to pass out. “Yaz,” I said, raising my voice. “Don’t you bloody dare fall asleep there, you useless sod. I’m not carryin-”

“Uh oh,” Mia muttered, leaning over Yaz and peering at her sleeping face. “She is outters.”

“Bloody bloody hell,” I muttered as Yaz slowly crumpled down into the booth with her head landing in Mia’s lap.

“Yaz?” Mia whispered, pushing Yaz’s hair out of her face and then giving her shoulder a gently shake. “We gotta go home now. Yaz?” Mia looked up at me with wide, glassy eyes. “She’s sleeping.”

“I’m aware of that,” I told her.

“S’my fault,” Mia slurred.

“Mia, you didn’t pour rhubarb gin down her throat,” Heath said as he came up next to me to stare down at the crumpled Yaz. “She’s just useless.”

“Hey,” Mia cried, pointing at Heath in a rare show of aggression. “She s’not useless. She’s bloody lovely. She only stayed for me – so I could have this.” Mia threw her arms out to indicate the dilapidated, beer-stained interior of the Pig and Whistle.

“Number Five …” I paused and rubbed the back of my neck. “I think that statement proves you’re rat-arsed as well. “Nobody in their right mind covets this place.”

“I do,” Mia said, her voice now fierce as she slapped her hand to her chest. “I love it. Even jus’ for a lil’ while.” Her voice trailed off and her eyes became unfocused. It wouldn’t be long until she was in the same state as Yaz.

“Right then,” I said. “Heath, can you get Yaz? I’ll help Mia.”

Heath made a face. “Do I have to? Last time I took your sister home she vomited all over my shoes, and these are new trainers.”

“Pick her up, you selfish git,” I told him. He rolled his eyes but did bend down to pull Yaz out from the booth.

“Mia?” I asked and her eyelids flickered until she focused on my face.

“Hi,” she said, smiling up at me with a goofy grin, the like of which I’d never seen on her face before.

“I’m going to take you home now, okay?”

“Hmmhmm.”

If it were Yaz I would have put my shoulder in her stomach and hoisted her up in a fireman’s lift – no nonsense. But I instinctively knew that Mia wouldn’t want to be carried. It would make her feel trapped. I took her hand and helped her to stand. She swayed for a moment and then grabbed onto my arm, leaning her weight into me.

“I’m putting my arm around you now, Mia,” I warned her so she didn’t freak out. She looked up at me and gave me another crooked smile.

“’k.”

We made our way out of the pub with me taking most of her weight so I was practically carrying her along side me. Heath, Teddy and I managed to wrestle them both into Teddy’s car. By the time we got home they were asleep. As predicted when Heath hefted her out of the car Yaz vomited. Most of it was in my flowerbed. His shoes may not have come away completely unscathed. This time I had to carry Mia up the stairs, but, as unconscious as she was, I doubted it would trigger a panic attack. We put them in the spare bed together, both fully dressed apart from their shoes. I didn’t think Mia’d wake again but as I was pulling the covers up to her chin her eyes blinked open and she focused on my face.

“That’s your big secret, isn’t it?” she said.

“What’s that?”

“You – you’re kind. You’re a good man. You would never hurt me.”

“No, love,” I said softly, searching her face and pushing her fringe back from her forehead. “Not ever.”

“I really, really like you,” she said, giving me so much direct eye contact it was like a punch to the gut.

“I like you too, Mia,” I told her, my voice rougher than normal and my chest feeling tight.

“’s not real,” she whispered, as her eyelids fluttered closed.

“What?’

“’s not for me,” she said, her voice so faint it was a struggle to hear it. Her body went completely lax then and her eyes drifted shut.