Unnatural Instinct: Wish

‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he says.

‘You have a funny way of showing it. Let me go.’

‘I cannot.’

‘Why not? If you truly loved me, you would’t have me die.’

‘You’ll die in your reality but live forever here. Isn’t that better?’ He looks into your eyes. ‘Aren’t I enough?’

‘I wish it was that simple.’

’Wish.’ Giving a wry smile, he sits on the edge of the bed. His hair flares over his shoulders, the purple tips bright against his skin. ‘I cannot let you go.’

‘If you do not let me go, I’ll hate you. Is that what you want?’

‘You will learn to love me. You will forget.’

You shake your head. ‘I will not. Not again. You tried and failed.’

‘When your body dies, you’ll have no choice but to love me.’

You turn your eyes towards the balcony. ‘Do you really want to know my choices?’

He follows your gaze and frowns.

‘You say you love me. Then let me go.’

‘No.’

He grabs onto your knee. You try to pull away but he grabs onto your other knee, his fingers digging deep enough into the joints that you cry out in pain. He yanks your legs open.

He crawls over you. ‘You belong here with me. Since the moment you read the first page and imagined me.’

He kisses your right breast, his long hair tickling your chest. He kisses you on the nape of your neck, then moves to your lips, where he kisses you long and gently. It makes the blood thrum in your veins. But you won’t fall for it. Not this time.

You shove against his chest, ripping his lips away from yours. ‘No!’

He scowls and moves in to kiss you again.

You shove him again. ‘NO!’

His eyes are bright. His cheeks are flushed. He’s looking wild, his muscles all tensed up, his biceps looking like little hills. Fear squeezes your heart.

‘Stop!’

You thrash and twist against him but he pins your arms. You try to kick out but he weighs himself down upon you until you can only squirm feebly. His pelvis is pressed against yours and you can feel the hot brand of his erection burning against the skin of your belly.

‘Love me,’ he murmurs into your ear as he kisses your cheek. ‘Be with me.’ He kisses the tip of your nose. ’Stay with me forever. Forget. Forget. Forget.’ He kisses you hard on the mouth, his lips soft, his tongue smooth and gentle.

You’re kissing back. Even as your mind revolts, you’re kissing back! Your head feels heavy. The room turns fuzzy. It’s hard to think.

‘Stop,’ you murmur as you push against his grip.

He’s shifting his hips now, pulling them away so the tip of his shaft presses up against the soft wetness of your opening. Even as you fight, your body is aching for it. You can feel your channel burning for his penetration. No!

Yes!

You suck in a breath as he pushes slowly inside you, sliding in deeper and deeper, soothing that burning, easing the ache in your hips.

‘That’s it,’ he breathes as you moan. ’Enjoy it. Forget.’

His mismatched eyes lock onto yours. They seem to be sparkling, the irises spinning in little circles. You gaze back wide-eyed, falling into them as he continues to slide into you. You’re so full now. So complete. Why are you so tense? Why is he holding you down?

You gasp as he presses his lips into your neck. You roll your hips against his, urging him to thrust. He complies, burying his face into your shoulder as he does.

You stare up at the spinning ceiling, your ears filled with the rush of your own blood, of your pounding heart, of the Dark Prince’s rhythmic grunting … and something else. It’s only a whisper but it’s speaking your name.

‘Come back to us,’ it weeps.

Why is it crying? Why is it so sad?

‘We miss you—they’re all asking for you. And me, I miss you so much.’

You stop bucking your hips. The pleasure evaporates. Instead, all you feel is a crushing sensation in your chest. Tears rush to your eyes. The Dark Prince is still thrusting into you, completely unaware. You look down the length of his back to his bucking backside and feel the deepest, most all-pervading hatred you’ve ever felt before. How dare he?

‘GET OFF!’

With a strength you never thought yourself capable of, you throw him off you, hard enough that he tumbles right off the bed and onto the floor. You leap off the bed. The Dark Prince attempts to scramble to his feet but you kick him hard in the chest, sending him sprawling.

‘I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!’

He looks up at you, aghast, his perfect features twisted in a spasm of despair.

’How could you? How could you?’ you cry.

‘Understand,’ he gasps. ‘I did this only because I love you.’

‘How could you love me? Look at me? I’m lost because of you!’

Tears are pouring down your cheeks, intensified by your brother’s continued desperate whispering. He sounds so close that you turn your head, expecting to see him standing right beside you.

The Dark Prince pulls himself up. He attempts to grab your arm but you pull away.

‘Look what you’ve done to me,’ you say. ’You ask to be happy but what about me? You don’t care. You don’t care.’

‘I do care.’

‘Then prove it!’

He lowers his eyes, then turns to look at the bed, before sweeping his gaze around the rest of the room and looking back at you. He looks so dejected that your heart reaches out for him.

‘No,’ you tell yourself. More tears are falling and you irritably swipe them away.

‘I want you,’ he says. ‘You should be happy.’

‘But don’t you see? It’s not possible. You can’t have both. I’ll be a shell. My love will be pretend. It’ll be fake. Is that what you want?’

He doesn’t answer.

’Please, send me home. I want to go home.’

He doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak. Then he suddenly turns. He’s walking away.

‘Stop! Come back! Don’t leave me here!’

You rush after his retreating back but no matter how fast you run you can’t catch up with him, as though the floor is pulling you backwards like a treadmill. He opens the door. The last thing you see is the gleam of his bright hair as he slams the door shut with a boom.

The sound echoes in your ears, it echoes around the room, drowning out the pounding of your heart, the desperate whispers of your brother. It’s so loud it vibrates through your feet; it makes your ears ache.

Snapping your eyes shut, you grab onto your head with a cry.