Unnatural Instinct: Wish

You think about your hunger pangs. You think about what it felt like to wake up after sleeping so long. Will you even wake up this time? If it’s been weeks or months, then …

‘I could be dead!’

No. You can’t be dead. Your family, how could they be talking with you now? You feel a rush of relief, quickly followed by another surge of rage. The betrayal. That icy horror that you could have lost everything. Even your life. That you still might.

‘You don’t care, do you?’ you snarl. ‘You couldn’t care less if I died. You couldn’t care less if I don’t go back.’ Then it hits you like a punch in the guts. ’You wanted me to die! You want me to die!’

‘Stop presuming,’ he says coolly. ‘You know nothing at all.’

You clench your fists. ‘Let me go.’

‘No.’

‘Let me go back.’

‘No. You wished for it and I granted it. You’re mine now.’

‘Let me go! If you don’t …’

You look around the room, your eyes landing on the door leading to the balcony. You make a run for it.

‘No!’ Seizing you around the waist, he lifts you off your feet and pulls you back.

You claw at his arms. ‘Stop! Let me go!’

‘You don’t understand. Killing yourself here will only destroy you utterly, both here and in your world.’

‘Liar! Of course you’d say that.’

’Believe me. You try that way and you will fail. Think of it, if somehow you were to survive the plunge and were to wake up back in your reality, you must sleep again. And I’ll be here, waiting as before. What will it achieve?’

‘At least I could see my family again one more time.’

’You’ll die. Please.’

The desperation in his voice takes you by surprise. You stop fighting. Seeing that he’s gotten through to you, he releases you. He forces a thin-lipped smile as he holds out his hand again. ‘Come. Dance with me. Forget about your troubles.’

‘They’re waiting for me. I must get home.’

’This is your home.’

You step away, then turn and speed towards the door, your stupid heels slowing you down as they clack loudly against the floor. You don’t expect the door to be unlocked and yet it is! You fling it open and find yourself in a hall you’ve never seen before.

‘What the hell?’

It’s not the hall of mirrors that leads to the front door and freedom but a narrow, dark corridor leading to a destination you cannot possibly guess. You run. What more can you do? You glance over your shoulder but he doesn’t follow.

‘Allan!’ you scream. ‘Lilly! Mika! I’m here! I’m here!’

You make turn after turn, eventually finding yourself at the top of a stairwell. Where the hell are you? The place is a labyrinth, confusing and impossible. Picking up your skirt, you climb down. On your left are great arched windows looking out onto the mountains.

The stairwell seems to go forever. Your ankles are starting to ache. Your lungs are burning. And yet no matter how far you descend, you don’t reach the bottom. Perhaps there is no bottom. When you look through the windows, your heart sinks. The view hasn’t changed; the mountains are just as tall as ever, as though you’re not descending at all. As though you’re running on the spot.

Realising the futility, you stop in the middle of the stairwell. The castle doesn’t make any sense. This whole “dream” doesn’t make any sense. You cannot leave. He will not let you leave. He’ll have you running around in circles for an eternity.

‘Allan! Lily!’ You try to scream their names but you’re so puffed you can only manage a breathless croak.

You sit on the step as you try to catch your breath. You strain your ears, trying to hear against the noisiness of your panting but there are no more voices. No more Allan. No more Lilly. Maybe they’ve give up on you. Or worse—maybe you really have died now.

The hopelessness of your situation presses down upon your shoulders. Your heart feels leaden. What have you done?

‘You fool,’ you gasp tearfully.

What did you expect? You asked for the Dark Prince—and you got him. Deceptive. Possessive. Dominant. The Dark Prince claimed he loved Louise, but how could he when he was only too willing to trap her? To force her to do things she didn’t want to do? How is that love? How could you be so naive? Great fun as a book. Shocking in reality.

‘You IDIOT!’

Dropping your head into your hands, you peer through your fingers down at your ridiculous dress. You remember the first time you saw it in the mirrors, how you thought it so pretty. How you thought yourself so pretty. You hate it. You hate it. You hate yourself!

You try to rip the skirt between your hands.

‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you.’

You whip your head around and scramble to your feet. There’s a figure standing a few steps above.

‘Keep away from me!’ It’s one of those masked people. One of those goblins. This one’s “mask” looks like a fly, big bulging eyes with antennas springing out from the sides.

‘He won’t like it.’

‘I don’t care what he likes!’

‘He made that dress for you,’ comes a second voice.

You spin around. A second goblin is standing a few steps below. This one looks like a fish with large lips but with a lizard-like tongue hanging out. You try to turn but your heel twists off the narrow step. Your foot slips and suddenly you’re falling.

Laughter echoes in your ears as you feel hands upon you, as you feel the ground drop away from your feet. You’re being carried. Not just by one goblin. But by many goblins. Where have they all come from? They carry you up the stairs, and it’s only moments later when you’re back on level ground.

‘It’s not fair!’

You writhe and wriggle in their grasp but they’re way too strong. Their laughter, excited chattering and thudding footsteps ring in your ears. Amidst all the noise, you hear it—music. That same discordant and yet oddly thrilling music you heard the first day you arrived.

The goblins lower you to the floor.