Unmasked

I why you start experiencing pregnancy symptoms the moment you find out you’re pregnant.

‘Close the door.’ I yell just as Thando comes out of the bathroom.

‘What?’

‘Close the door.’ I say again this time feeling the bile rise to my throat.

I know going into the same bathroom is a bad idea so I rush to the spare bathroom and puke out the vomit. I feel his hands hold my hair until I am done then he leads me to the sink where I wash my mouth.

‘Take this.’

‘What is this?’

‘Mint leaves.’

‘What am I supposed to do with mint leaves?’

‘Chew on them babe, they will make you feel better.’

I give him an eye.

‘How do you know this?’

‘Were you even listening to anything that the Doctor was saying?’

I roll my eyes.

‘Besides I have been reading a lot, you can even chew on some fresh ginger and..’

I lift my hands to stop him from talking.

‘Enough babe, enough. Just do me a favor and never use that shower gel again.’

‘But what am I supposed to be using?’

‘What did you read?’

I see that he is offended but what am I supposed to do about it right now?

‘Let me make you some tea.’

‘Sure.’ I respond.

He walks out of the room whilst I go to the bedroom to get my phone. I find missed calls from Zac. I have been avoiding him from the time I found out I was pregnant only because it is quite difficult to lie to him.

‘You have been avoiding me.’ He says immediately he picks up after I call him back.

‘I have a life Zac, a husband and a career.’

‘I am outside your yard, I need to talk to you.’

‘Zac it’s 8PM`, how about just driving in?’

‘It’s you I want to talk to, not Thando.’

I open my mouth to say something but decide against it. Zac will always have his way and I am not about to argue with him right now. I wear slippers and walk to the kitchen where Thando is making the tea.

‘Zac is outside, I will just see him for a minute.’

‘Sure.’

I feel bad, sometimes Zac does this. He shows up at unexpected times and asks to see me without Thando. My husband is a genuinely good man and he doesn’t ask questions when I don’t tell him something but I honestly feel bad because I don’t want my marriage despite being a façade to end in the way Leo’s did. Speaking of Leo I need to check on him one of these days. It has been a while since we spoke.

‘What do you want?’ I ask immediately I settle next to Zac in the car.

‘You look pale.’

‘I haven’t been drinking a lot of water.’

He eyes me.

‘Zac it’s late, Thando will start worrying if I don’t go in the house any minute from now.’

‘Thando huh?’

‘What is this about?’

‘So now that officer is more important than me? Are you forgetting that we are doing this so that we don’t end up in jail?’

‘It’s because of that reason that I need to get back in the house. I didn’t want to do this so you won’t make me feel bad for it. Besides you need to show him some respect, at the end of the day he is still my husband.’

He laughs.

‘This is really getting to your head huh? You enjoy being Mrs. Mwape don’t you?’

‘Zac you really need to do something with your time, look at all of us flourishing whilst you continue living in the past. It has been almost two years since Gabriel died. Lona is doing life for that so why can’t we all just move on?’

‘Is this why you decided to be this careless?’ he asks throwing a pregnancy home tester at me.

‘Zac where did you get this?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘Yes it does! This is just wrong! What are you doing with this?’

‘Everything I have done is for your benefit. To protect you. Everything! I want you to always remember that.’

My eyes fill with tears.

‘You are going to get rid of that baby and make it look like an accident, Thando is a pawn in all this you won’t be careless and tie yourself to him. I need you to always remember why we are doing this. You are not in some sort of vacation where you get a happy ending.’

‘He is my husband.’

‘Continue wearing that mask that you know how best to wear and get rid of that thing in your stomach, you are not going to carry it full term. This is a game Zara and I don’t know what stupid ideas that boy is putting in your head but if you don’t kill the baby I will make sure I murder it myself and I am not playing.’

Wordlessly, with tears rolling down my cheeks I let myself out of the car and walk to my house.

…

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️