Unknown Magic (3)

My eyes open and what I thought I would be looking at was a window with forest into background was not. My common waking up in the night was here, but I could not go to the beach rather I staring at a building and only reflected some light from other buildings. I asked myself why I woke up like I do every other night, but this time it was different. A feeling, a warning, something I should pay attention to be worried about what was to come. A feeling of uneasiness.

I sat up and turned placing my feet onto to the carpet letting the fluffy carpet sooth into my skin. I may not be able to reach the beach but I can go for a walk to the south harbour and hopefully the hurricane with the rain has stopped.

I take a breath in and out, another soft warm hand is placed on my back.

“Hey,” his muffled voice sound like he is waking up hopefully not from my shifting of the bed.

I turned to face and already enchanted by his oddly glowing green golden eyes. “You alright?” he asked a bit clearer this time and his warmth of a hand that beings to sooth me traces down my arm.

I keep seated and shake my head, “no, I am do not understand it. “a roughness in my voice. He stares at me oddly but shifts the bed dipping me in little bit as he comes closer. His bare chest radiating out heat that I would love to be smothered in. He doesn’t take me in his arms and I am happy for that rather he puts a safety hand under my wrist sliding down to my hand where I been supporting my upright position. The heat is between us as well the electrical shock but we ignore it.

“what is going on, you been odd since last evening,” he refers to us watching the hurricane then going to bed at the residence since it was late. I stayed silent, as heavy air comes and I feel at loss, I don’t know why I am holding my tongue. But I am till Wolf speaks.

“Asema, we are a pair, a team, we need to work together, trust one another, that is what a union is about. Being one, so please tell me what happened at Thuse office with you.”

I didn’t look up at him but I felt how he could feel what when my face was showing. Worry and a drop of annoyance. So, I spoke but my words they were a whisper at first, “Thuse brought something up a feeling… a feeling I been trying to deal with since Kieran. A feeling of drowning, trying every moment to keep your head above water,” I could feel the coolness seep in from the words, “consistently worry about every moment, as if being followed or worse capture and tortured.” My voice was getting louder but did not shake. “A feeling of uneasiness, being on the edge and yet not falling but already am. Fear of doubting and not knowing and truly trusting yourself or anyone around you.” I swallowed but began to shake and that’s when Wolf took the initiative to pull me in. Pressing me against this chest and wrapped his arms arounds me.

“Fear is coming back and I am scared, I don’t want to suffer again or feel like I have no control, but I feel I am drowning again and don’t know when to come back up for air or how to get back up.” My voice cracked; my limbs begin to feel cold. Even if Wolf’s body heat was becoming a sauna. Everything was now a black hole ready to suck me in.

Wolf pecked the top of my head.

“How can I help?”

“By staying with the kids, I am going out to get some air.”

He nods and allows me to get ready and head out the door, most of the city has light but most of it is black. Allowing a few stars to pass through and show beyond a world of wonder. I arrived at the harbour where boats are just floating and the wind smell strongly of the salt ocean. I rest myself on the railing and slightly look at the dark water below breathing to looking up at the star night, as it made me feel I was in a dome looking up at the roundness of it. I felt this time staring up the stars, feeling as I was home. No worries, nothing, I didn’t feel like a prisoner or someone pet. I hope whatever connection I had to these stars I hope it will take away myself feeling of loss and help me feel I would have control again.