Unhinged

Tana let out a shuddering breath, her eyes settling on me cautiously. “Okay, well, I’m just gonna…I’m just going to clean and we’ll see what hap- jesus christ am I seriously talking to a door? Girl, you do not explain yourself to inanimate objects. This is insane. You’re officially nuts.” At her own declaration, she burst into a fit of wine-tinged giggles, laughing until her cheeks bloomed pink and she gasped for breath, sliding the stool away.

Surprising me, she lurched forward and squeezed the trigger on the bottle, suddenly dousing my knob in a mist of cool, tingling liquid that made me groan inwardly with pleasure at the sensation. Wrapping my round brass protrusion in a soft cloth and a firm grip, she started polishing my knob with slow, smooth strokes that stirred something deep in my wood. Her features were soft and sensual as she concentrated on her work, her thumb slipping over my raised lock ridge through the thin barrier of the cloth, almost teasingly. I watched as her lips parted softly, her forearm muscles flexing as she twisted her grip slowly, methodically, an erotic echo of what I’d wanted her to do in the dream.

Long moments later, Tana leaned back to survey her work. Taking another step back, her gaze trailed up from my threshold with a frown. “Okay. Well. If I’m gonna do something crazy and stupid, I’d rather keep it between us and not bring the ER into things.”

Tana stared at me for a long, pensive moment, then spun around, making her way to the bedroom. When she reemerged, she was fully, gloriously nude. I was so transfixed at the sight, it took me a moment to notice she was clutching a few things in her hands. She nibbled at her bottom lip, eyes shyly avoiding me as she laid the items carefully down on the small entryway table.

A bottle of some kind of clear liquid.

A small, shiny gold square with perforated edges.

Her shivering blue st- er, vibrator, which currently lay still.

“Right. Okay. Well, I’m either about to get more kinky than I ever thought I could, or I’m kissing not-a-frog with not-my-lips and breaking some kinda weird curse.” She took a shaky breath, grabbing the shiny square and bringing it to her mouth, tearing it open with her teeth while her eyes stayed fixed on my knob.

“It feels weird to be talking to you, but I mean, I’d rather you know what’s up. I’m taking your cameo in my recurring nightmare as consent, but if I’m wrong…I dunno, like, jiggle in your frame or something.” She snorted a laugh, pinching the bridge of her nose with her free hand under her glasses and staring up at the ceiling. “I’ve definitely fucking lost it. Oh well, it’ll make a good story in group therapy when they toss me in an asylum.”

I was stunned and unbelievably excited. While I could occasionally make very small movements in moments of heightened emotion, I took care not to “jiggle” in my frame, as it would have sent the wrong message. I wanted this. I definitely wanted this.

The shiny square fluttered to the floor and some sort of long, slippery-looking translucent sock hung in Tana’s fingertips. She stooped down, a look of concentration on her face as she gathered up the length as I’d seen her gather up hosiery while getting dressed, slipping it over my knob with gentle, easy tugs. “It’s not that I think you’re gonna knock me up with little, uh, trapdoors, or something, it’s that I only trust lysol so much and doorknobs are kinda germ magnets. No offense. Hopefully that doesn’t fuck with the mojo but I don’t need to explain a UTI from this.”

Once she’d encased me, she stood in her glorious nudity, hands on her hips, examining her handiwork on my knob. Her brow furrowed as she took in the height, eyes drifting up and down several times. “Right. Well. Hm.”

Moments later, she’d hauled the soft oversized ottoman over from the couch area, shoving it up against my base with a cushioned thud. She nodded with a smug expression, reaching over for the small bottle she’d brought from the bedroom, opening the top with a click. Cool, dripping moisture cascaded down my knob, the strange covering still allowing the temperature to bleed through. Once again, Tana’s hand enfolded my prominent sphere, twisting around without engaging the lock. It felt incredibly pleasurable, so much better than the fleeting turns of entering or exiting.

Tana climbed atop the large rectangular ottoman, stretching out on her back and bracing her bare feet against my back as she twisted the bottom of her vibrator. She began to slide the tapered tip of the toy into herself, watching me with a half-lidded, sultry expression as I watched back in hungry fascination. Flashing a grin as if she knew she was being observed, she ran the silky sole of her foot down the edge of my frame as more of the blue length glided into her. “You know…ooh…maybe there’s something to this. It’s kind of nice calling all the shots.”
 

The soft hum of the toy grew louder, then softer, as she worked up a slow rhythm, her eyes sliding closed with a groan. “Why is this hot? Mmm. This really – uhmm – shouldn’t be hot…” Her ass raised a few inches off the cushion, chasing sensation with a soft gasp. She sat up abruptly, leaving the vibrator to hum and shiver on the ottoman’s surface as she smoothly flipped to rest on all fours, her ass now facing me – and my glistening, waiting knob.

Dropping her chest and cheek down to rest on the soft fabric, she tensed at the first cold kiss of my lubricated, wrapped doorknob against her hot cunt. Digging her fingers into the edge of the ottoman for leverage, Tana held her breath, rocking back to slowly impale herself on her front door. “Oh…god, it’s so big. I…I don’t know if I can…”

She fumbled, patting under her for the still-humming vibrator, resting on a shoulder to bring it up to her clit with a groan. Her body relaxed at the additional sensation, knee shifting to press her fully onto my knob, giving a startled gasp as it popped fully into her. “Ohh! Holy shit, that’s weird. Big too. Nice, but…mm…okay…oh god, yes…YES!” Her hips tilted at just the right angle, sending the rounded edge of my thick knob bumping up against something sensitive inside her. She gushed around me with a keening cry, tightening and fluttering in a hard orgasm that left lube and arousal coursing down her thighs in rivulets.

Tana choked a scream of pleasure into the upholstery below her, darkened with salivalike the wells around her knees already were with her pleasure. After long moments, she clumsily rose up on her hands, leaning away from me with a slight wince over her shoulder as she slid away. A lurid, wet pop of a sound accompanied our parting, and she rolled onto her back to smile lazily up at me, her voice husky with satisfaction.

“Well, looks like I’m just kinky, you’re still a door. Damn, I am way more kinky than I thought I was. God that was good, though. Screw it, I’m going to eat more of those fuckin popsicles before bed.” She snickered, sliding off the ottoman and stumbling down the hall with a blissful expression.

Halfway to the small room with the shower, she spun around and made her way back to me, pressing a kiss below my peep hole. “Sorry, don’t mean to uh, bang and run. Hope that was good for you too. Now I need a shower.” She laughed loudly at herself, patting my frame and heading back down the hallway.