Undeniable Attraction

I became speechless after that, how the hell did he find out? As if reading my mind he threw the DNA test at me. "Kel......." I stuttered not knowing what to say.

"You had a child for me and you never told me about it even when she was right under my nose." he bellowed.

"I was going to tell you today." I managed to say, I felt like I'd cry anytime soon, this wasn't how I planned this to go.

"Today? Today? After she has been with me for how many months now? After how many years you were going to tell me today?" He angrily asked. I understood how hurt and angry he was, he has the right to be anyway.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you, surely you didn't expect me to tell you immediately we met."

"Why didn't you tell me immediately you knew Shayan, why?" He shouted

"Well I was going to tell you but then you broke up with me calling me all sorts of things. You called me a cheat, a gold digger, a slut, why should I have told you about my child when you'd have doubted it." I sounded angry now, it was opening back old wounds that haven't healed.

"You could have at least told me for God's sake Shayan." He shouted, he made it sound easy.

"And you didn't think I tried? Every time I tried talking to you you'd tell me "leave me the fvck alone", "I don't want to have anything to do with you, don't you fvcking get it?" I mimicked "Do you know how I felt each time you told me that? You humiliated me in front of everyone, I was just another one of your conquest but I was the only one who got pregnant." I said sadly. "You could have still told me." He shouted

"Through what means exactly? You blocked me, I couldn't call or text you even when I called through other means you'd end the call. You didn't want me anywhere near you or talking to you. I know how much I tried telling you. Heck, I even went over to your place only to see you fvcking pretty Queen bee Betty and that's when I knew I had tried enough so when you ask yourself why you weren't a part of her life know it's because you pushed me out." I angrily said I hated remembering all this.

"Maybe if you hadn't cheated on me it wouldn't have happened, we could have raised her together." He said in his defence

"I never cheated on you Adrios, why do you always think that?" I angrily asked, it was time to lay every dirty linen on the table.

"There was proof Shayan, you always being with Jason, the pictures and then that morning I caught you both."

"You mean the morning you walked in on us sleeping? Nothing happened at all Adrios, how would you even think that?" It was outrageous, Jason had always been my friend before Kel, I knew he got jealous but not to thinking and believing I'd cheat on him. "You were always with him, you guys were pretty close and I knew he liked you too. I'm sorry, I should have confronted you."

"So that was why you broke up with me?" I could feel all my pent up anger rising. "You thought I cheated on you, you never talked to me about it, you just concluded not even trusting me, so that's why you broke up with me, that's why you humiliated me. " My voice raised with every sentence.

He didn't even trust me at all. "You didn't trust me at all Kel, you still don't," I said sadly the tears spilling.

"Shayan I..." He started apologetically.

"I always wondered why you broke up with me, what I did to deserve all that you said to me. I always thought I wasn't good enough, beautiful enough and hearing you say those things about me demoralised me Kel, I didn't have high self-esteem, you built it only to crush it and made me feel lower than I thought. I thought the sex would make you stay, I thought you loved me." I couldn't even stop the tears from pouring.

"I did Shayan." He said and I let out a sardonic laugh.

"I was so depressed Kel, I couldn't stop thinking about you, what you said, hearing that from someone you deeply loved was crushing and then there was the pregnancy. I didn't know what to do and suicide felt like the best option. Even I was disappointed in myself." "I'm sorry Shayan, I had no idea, I shouldn't have said all that, I never meant to hurt you." He sounded so sad right now but I don't care.

"But in the end you did Kel, my heart was broken beyond repair Kel, you ruined me. Sorry, can't even begin to cut it." I said calmly, my tone showing how hurt I was.

"I'm so sorry Shayan, does Evie know?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I'm going to tell her tomorrow," I replied.

"You shouldn't have kept it from me Shayan, you of all people knew how much I wanted to be there for my child, I never wanted my child to feel unwanted and still yet this happens," he said sadly.

I felt a bit guilty then, I remembered when we were casually talking and he said when he has a child he'd devote everything to it, all his love and attention and would hate to have his child feel unwanted because that's what he feels. His father was never there for him and he wanted to be a good father to his child.

"I'm sorry but I tried," I said and he sighed.

"Don't you feel bad for Evie not growing up with her dad?"

"Of course I did but it's not as if I could do anything about it."

"I'm so sorry Shayan, truly I am," he said taking my hands which I pulled away.

I thought I had forgiven him but after recalling all the past events I know I still hold a lot of things against him. I just wanted to go to my room and cry myself to sleep.

"Shayan..." He started and I cut him off.

"It's enough Kel. You already know Evie is your daughter. Goodnight." I said heading for the stairs. I felt like I'd crack if he said anything more.

"I know I should have been there for you..."

"But you weren't Kel, you were never there. You chose not to be. You chased me out of your life but I still craved you in it every single day."

"Do you think I wouldn't have been there if I knew? Do you think I like the way things turned out on both sides?" He sounded hurt but also angry.

"You tell me. Do you think I liked getting pregnant at 18 or you think I'm proud of that? Do you think I liked losing the scholarship and not going to college, do you think I liked what I went through these last six years?" I angrily asked.

"I... I had no idea." He said slowly.

"You had no idea of a lot of things Adrios. You have no idea what I went through. You should be glad that the only thing you got in this whole thing is your daughter not knowing you and you not being there for her. Do you think I liked the pain I went through, all the odd things I did to survive? I was just an unnecessary burden to my parents and let's not get started on labour pain. I nearly lost my life and Evie's and on top of that, I can't have another child. Do you think that makes me happy? Do you think I like how this turned out?" I angrily asked, the tears falling.

"Mi dispiace Tesoro Mio," he said pulling me to a hug, I resisted at first but then just cried on his shoulders.

"I'm very sorry for all that I put you through Shayan, I am." He sounded hurt right now and when I looked up at him there were tears in his eyes.

"You both never wanted me?" We both turned around shocked to see Evie. How much did she hear?

"Evie it's not like that," I said going to meet her and she was already crying.

"Why didn't you tell me that Kel's my Daddy?" She sadly asked.

Gosh, I felt so miserable. "Evie I..."

"You knew since yet you never told me... I kept on asking you, mummy." She was crying now.

"I'm so sorry Evie," I said crying

"Why would you do that Mummy? Now I know I was just a mistake." Her words burnt my heart, hearing her say all that crying made me feel ten times worst.

"God, Evie no, you're not a mistake," Kel stressed

"You never wanted me, none of you did" she was sobbing now.

"Evie, don't say that," Kel said trying to soothe her pulling her close but she pushed him off and it was then I saw the tears slip.

"Every time I asked about him you never told me, you said you never told him either."

"I didn't know how to." I cried out frustrated.

"You should have just said that," she shouted hysterically.

Me saying I'm sorry can't even begin to cut it.

"I hate you mummy, the both of you." she sobbed at going upstairs. The way she said it, I couldn't handle it.

"Evie, I'm sorry," I said crying. God, what have I done?

We both decided to follow her upstairs.

"Get away from me." She said throwing her toys and teddy bear and one of the sharp points of a toy hit my head giving it a cut. She didn't mean to I know that but I didn't expect what she said next. "Serves you right." She said when she noticed it, it was bleeding then.

"Evie calm down, stop throwing things." Kel cautioned.

"Don't talk to me, you don't have the right to" she shouted and that hurt Kel a lot because it was very obvious in his expression.

"You can say whatever you want to say to me, throw whatever you want at me, leave Kel out of it"

"I thought you loved me, mummy, if you did you wouldn't have done this" she sadly said.

"Of course I love you, Evie, I'm.."

"Just go." She tiredly said and when none of us moved she shouted, "get out"

We left the room and she slammed the door locking it and I just sat outside the room crying.

"All I ever wanted was a family with you Shayan but it seems like you've just ruined it." Kel sadly said.

This was the first time for me to see him this way, he looked so sad, his eyes were puffy and I regretted making them feel this way.

"Kel I'm..." I started saying but he just walked out, entering his room and slamming the door.

I've never felt as miserable as I'm feeling now. I didn't mean to hurt either of them but now I had and I was regretting it. They were right, I should have found a way to tell them and now they both hated me. Hearing Evie say those words to me felt worse than heartbreak. The way she assumed she was a mistake and when she said she hates me it deeply hurt. I didn't blame her though, it was all my fault.0000