Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

“Bróðir, bróðir, hérna!” Leslie shouted and waved his arms. He repeated his effort, accompanied by Gary’s barking. “Brother, brother, over here!”

Dorian stopped slashing at the giant metal hands that contained him and torqued his torso to see who called in a familiar tongue.

“Kamerat! Bli med meg i kamp!”

“Comrade, there is no battle! These people are our friends!” Leslie replied. “Put down your weapon!”

“Hvað með púkann?” Dorian pointed his sword at Charlie.

“He’s not quite a demon. He’s more of an asshole than a demon!”

“ALDRI!” Dorian resumed his assault on the interwoven mesh fingers that encircled him.

“He won’t listen!” Leslie called out to Reese. “But, I have an idea!”

Leslie knelt to speak with Gary. “Remember what happened when you and Dorian touched? He turned canine, paws and all. If he has paws, he doesn’t have thumbs which means he can’t hold onto that sword!”

Gary barked in agreement.

“If we can keep him busy, will you make contact?”

Gary nodded.

Leslie called to the group. “We need to keep Dorian distracted so Gary can get near him! Keep him focused in one direction until Gary can get come in contact with him!”

DeLeon handed Joey a sword and nodded to Reese,” Shall we?” He charged toward the warrior. Leslie ran to meet DeLeon on the opposite side of the giant metal wrists. They vaulted onto the top of the metal ligaments that made up the golem’s forearms. Reese and Joey followed close behind. Joey climbed up and over the golem’s arm and dropped to the ground alongside Leslie while Reese remained near DeLeon.

Dorian growled and swung wildly at the swords that taunted him. Gary worked to position himself to leap onto Dorian, but there wasn’t much more than a set of shoulders and the back of the berzerker’s head exposed above the metal hands. Gary shifted from side to side but couldn’t get a clear shot. Joey witnessed the problem and alerted Leslie.

“He can’t find an entry point! We need to give him a bigger target.”

“Do you think we can handle him untethered long enough to give Gary an opening?” Leslie asked Reese and DeLeon.

“Do we have a choice?” DeLeon retorted.

Leslie turned to Griffin. “ On the count of three, open your hands, but only long enough to allow Gary to get in there with Dorian. Can you do that?”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Griffin replied.

Leslie finished the countdown as Griffin unlaced the fingers on Dorian’s containment. Gary charged.

The berserker remained focused on the swordsmen taunting him, oblivious to the canine advancing from the rear. Gary hurled himself at the center of Dorian’s back. The impact slammed them forward into the crook of the giant mechanical hand. They dropped to the ground but remained separated.

“Clench your fist and force them together!” Leslie called to Griffin.

As the mecha hand drew closed, Dorian turned to face Gary and raised his sword over his head to strike.

“Noooo!” DeLeon yelled. He lunged for the blade and grabbed it with both hands, coating its edge with smears of crimson. He was jerked into the back of Dorian’s head, causing him to crumple forward.

Gary rammed into Dorian’s mid-section and became pinned against him as Griffin closed the fist. DeLeon slid the sword from the berzerker’s grasp as fingers transformed into the pads of a paw. The conquistador and the sword toppled from the top of the giant hand and fell to the cavern floor.

“That was uncharacteristically unselfish of you!” Reese remarked.

“I was focused on the victory. You know that I hate to lose,” Deleon replied.

Reese extended an arm. DeLeon revealed his bloody hands.

“You think a little cardio catsup is going to bother me?” Reese laughed and pulled him to his feet. DeLeon winced.

A duet of barks came from within the hands of the golem.

“Release the hounds!” DeLeon laughed.

“Gotcha!” Griffin replied. “Everybody stand back. This exoskeleton has a little snap in its recoil when I deactivate it!”

Griffin rearranged the components within the emblem at the center of his chest. The retraction of the sinuous metal battle suit sounded like a giant tape measure recoiling its blade.

The canines lay entangled momentarily as the giant hand withdrew. Gary stood astride Dorian amid legs pointed toward the ceiling, encircling him like fence posts. He extracted himself from the furry stalagmites and barked a celebratory “Hell, yeah!”.

Dorian struggled to right himself but was able to sit up once his forelegs returned to being forearms. He adjusted his clothing to its proper orientation as he reassumed human form.

The group gathered around Dorian. Cadence ran to his side and threw her arms around him. “Thank goodness you’re okay!”

“What happened? “ Dorian asked. “It’s all a blur!”

“You turned into this crazy, incredible polar bear warrior!” Cadence answered. “You were bent on slaughtering everyone!”

“It took four people, a dayhound, and a cromangi in a giant exoskeleton to stop you!” Griffin added. “You were quite the handful!”

Griffin waited for a response but received only silence.

“H a n d f u l!” Griffin repeated slowly. Griffin mimed having giant hands. “Oh, come on people! That deserves something!”

Leslie clapped a few slow claps.

“Was that so hard?” Griffin huffed.

Dorian looked to Cadence, puzzled.

“It’s sort of funny, but in a dad joke funny kind of way. I’ll explain later.”

“Did I hurt anyone?”

“My hands are a bit sliced up, but I’ll recover,” DeLeon replied. “Just a quick trip to visit the great koi and I’ll be back to my near-perfect self.”

“Unselfish and almost humble, all within minutes? Is the conquistador going soft on us?” Reese laughed.

“Sure, play nice with the guy that lured you here!” Charlie stomped forward. “None of this would have happened if it weren’t for him!”

“If it weren’t for me?” DeLeon refuted. “It was YOU who offered to bring me the breastplate in exchange for a trip to another lifestream. YOU are the one that lured them here by abducting Cadence. You could have picked anyone, but instead chose Cadence, knowing that they would attempt to rescue her.”

“Hey, you said you chose me because you needed a virgin and that I was the most unsullied!” Cadence confronted Charlie.

“I lied,” Charlie shrugged. “But, it wasn’t all lies. That guy…“ Charlie pointed to Dorian, “…gets a bit handsy during his alone time. And now that he has that extra hand…”

“I would never consciously use Cadence’s hand to touch my stuff!” Dorian objected.

“Consciously?” Cadence questioned.

“If it ever happened, and I’m not sure that it did, it wasn’t in a sexual manner. I assure you.”

“What non-sexual peepee touching may or may not have happened? Were you rearranging the furniture, or what?”

“Or what,” Dorian blushed. “Nature called.”

“Ugh!” Cadence cringed.

“Technically,” Griffin interjected, “it hasn’t happened yet. The alleged peepee touching will not happen for another five hundred years!”

Cadence grimaced.

“I said ‘technically’.” Griffin restated.

“I promise to wash it thoroughly before I give it back.”

“I may not need it back.”

Cadence raised her arm and unwrapped its end. She wiggled the sprouting fingers that grew from her wrist. “I’m hoping that a palm develops at some point.”

“Yeesh!” Dorian winced, along with anyone else within eyeshot.

Cadence jabbed the growth at him, causing him to jump back.

“Come here, my pretty. Let me touch that lovely face of yours,” she cackled and reached for him again. He withdrew, shuddered, and then laughed.

“Stop it!”

“How about a kiss?” Cadence pushed forward again, puppeting the words with her worm-like fingers.

Dorian swerved to avoid the kissy hand and tripped. He stumbled and fell backward into Reese. The domino effect sent her into DeLeon and him into Charlie.

Charlie’s arms flailed as he struggled to stay upright. His elbow managed to catch Griffin in the jaw, sending him to the ground. The breastplate released itself from the cromangi.

“ Oh, oh! That can’t be good,” Griffin warned.