Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

The group headed down the hallway toward the library which was lit only by a single light reflecting off the slowly undulating water in the fish tank.

“Ugh,” Lanky groaned quietly.

“I know. . . you hate the big fishy,” Shorty whispered a reply.

“It creeps me out. It looks at me funny. It ate Joey.”

“It did not eat Joey. At most, it bit off his head.”

“Lights,” Lenny said, and a series of recessed bulbs dotted across the ceiling began to glow. He directed the group over to the edge of the tank.

“This is the opposite end of the tank you saw in the first aid office.”

“Mmmm, love that beachy smell,” Dorian breathed in deeply. He walked up to the tank and grasped the thick glass rim. “Where’s the fish?”

Lenny stepped forward and joined him. “It is a very large tank that flows through caverns under the mansion. He could be anywhere. He could be directly beneath us.”

“Lying in wait, licking his lips!” Shorty hunched toward Lanky with his arms raised like monster claws.

“Stop it! That’s not funny!” Lanky recoiled.

“What’s with him?” Dorian asked.

“He thinks the fish killed a guy that used to hang around here. I think it was the guy’s sister, but this one . . .” Shorty pointed at Lanky.

“That fish gives me the evil eye whenever I see it.”

“That’s because it saw you eating sushi. Then you added insult to injury by saying ‘WHATSAAA-BEE’, like that old beer commercial.”

“It’s a classic,” Lanky insisted.

“It’s funny, but in a lame kind of way,” Leslie agreed.

“See?” Lanky pushed.

“Then again, I’m not a giant fish,” Leslie added.

BAWOOP!

A huge bubble burst at the water’s surface, startling the group.

Everyone chuckled except Lanky.

“The great koi that inhabits this tank has graciously allowed us to use its healing powers. I cannot believe that it would harm a soul,” Lenny assured. “Dorian, if you are ready, we should begin.”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Gentlemen, could you bring that over here?” Lenny pointed to the standing desk in the center of the room. “We need an operating table.”

Dorian’s mouth fell open.

“Nothing major, but we do need to make an incision or two to graft the extra fingers onto your arm.” He turned to Leslie. “Please get me the dagger from that alcove behind you.”

Leslie removed the knife from the display stand and handed it to Lenny.

The henchmen scooted the sofa to one side, cleared the books from the desk, and slid it beside the fish tank. They then set Cadence’s hand, the nose, and the assortment of fingers on top of it. Lenny arranged the fingers according to length and then compared Cadence’s pinky to the digits.

“Hers will fit fine right at the end.”

Lenny pulled a cigar cutter from his pants pocket and slipped it onto the pinky.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Dorian screamed, knocking Cadence’s hand back onto the desktop. “We are not going to disfigure her any more than she already is!”

“But we agreed that you would need her assistance.”

“Then attach the whole hand.”

Dorian grasped Cadence’s hand in his and interlaced their fingers. He then laid his arm across the desktop and aligned her wrist with his.

“Attach it there,” he said drawing a line on his arm at the end of her wrist with his finger.

Lenny hesitated.

“Do it!” Dorian insisted.

Lenny dipped the blade into the tank and swirled it in the healing waters. “This will numb the pain.” Lenny grasped both wrists beneath his hand.

“We’ll dunk your arm into the tank immediately after I make the incision. Are you ready?”

Dorian nodded. Lenny looked at the rest of the group. They nodded in agreement. Leslie and Lanky averted their eyes while Shorty leaned in closer. Gary whimpered, jumped up onto the sofa, and hid his snout in the cushions.

The slice was swift. Dorian didn’t realize that he was cut until his arm was being thrust into the water. Lenny released his grip and then squatted down in front of the glass wall to watch the water do its magic.

Tendrils of red coiled from Cadence’s wrist and the wound on Dorian’s arm. They danced toward each other and then laced together in a quick twist. The braided tendril shortened, pulling the raw end of Cadence’s wrist into Dorian’s forearm. Cadence’s hand pulsed with new life. Dorian felt her fingers curl and her nails dig into the back of his hand. He thought it to be painful and wished for it to stop. Cadence’s hand relaxed. The water cleared as all traces of red were sucked back into the newly formed juncture. He withdrew his multi-hand from the tank and examined it.

“Cool!”

He flexed all ten digits in unison and then touched his fingers tip to tip. He repeated the motion getting faster and faster. He moved his hand to the desktop and performed what could best be described as a drum solo using knuckles and fingertips.

“Nice work, Lenny!” He clapped his multi-hand together in a single appendage applause. He then extended his multi-hand to Leslie.

“Pleased to meet you!”

Leslie raised his hand hesitantly and Dorian gripped it firmly, surrounding it in a double grasp. He gave his arm a couple of pumps.

“That is weirdly awesome!” He said as he returned the handshake. “And quite the grip!”

“Most likely enhanced by your strength!” Lenny added.

“Let’s get the rest of these digits put in place!” Dorian urged, now filled with excitement. He laid his arm atop the desk.

Lenny gathered the remaining fingers and arranged them side by side in Dorian’s unaltered hand, making sure that they all bent in the same direction.

“I will cut along your forearm. After I do that you will need to hold the cut end of the fingers against the open wound under the water, just like I did when we attached Cadence’s hand. I would do it, but the positioning will be too awkward.”

“No problem,” Dorian responded.

Lenny swished the knife in the water and then brought the dripping blade to Dorian’s arm.

“Ready?”

Dorian adjusted his stance and nodded. Lenny sliced from elbow to wrist, the blade contacting bone through the thin layers of skin. Dorian turned quickly but underestimated the height of the tank. He clipped the top edge of the glass causing him to scatter the fingers and nose into the water. They floated momentarily before they began to sink.

“NO!” Dorian cried as he flailed over the glass partition, stretching for the precious objects that were just beyond his reach.

The group gathered at the front of the tank and watched as the hot dog-shaped silhouettes sank from view.

“So, we got a ‘Plan B’?” Shorty asked.

“I’ll have to go with what I’ve got. Hopefully, Cadence’s timing skills will be enough.”

“I’m going, too.” Lenny pulled out the cigar cutter and slipped it over his pinky. He slammed his fist onto the desktop, severing the finger before anyone could stop him. He quickly shoved his hand into the tank to allow the waters to heal the stump. Everyone stood with their mouths agape.

“Just take the finger and attach it to your arm!” He commanded.

Dorian grabbed the finger, shoved it against his wrist, and submerged them both. His and Lenny’s appendages began to merge. A stream of bubbles rose quickly from beneath his hands obscuring his view.

“Hey, that didn’t happen last time. What gives?”

“It’s the . . .” Lanky’s eyes widened.

“The what?” Dorian turned to address Lanky.

“. . .FISH!”