Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

“Hey, Cady, give your old Uncle Mikey a hug!”

He extended his arms wide as Cadence started up the porch steps.

“Since when are you, my uncle?” She responded with a raised eyebrow.

“Since I thought it was the surest way to get a hug.”

He remained standing with outstretched arms. Cadence tucked her arms under his and pulled in tight to his chest. He returned the squeeze in a very uncle-like fashion.

“Thanks for the job lead, Mikey. Do you think he’ll hire me?”

“I don’t see why not! Hell, he hired me, didn’t he?” Mike chuckled at his joke.

“Whoa, maybe I’m too good for this place!” Cadence poked at Mike’s side as she pulled out of the hug.

Mike bowed to deflect the full impact of Cadence’s poke.

“Well, c’mon in.” Mike pulled open the screen door.” I’ll show you around the place. Employees enter through the kitchen, just like family.”

Cadence walked into the aroma of a fresh pot of coffee.

The kitchen was modest in size when compared to the size of the house. It was loaded with professional quality appliances and equipment, but it was not a commercial kitchen by any means. It could have been used as a set for a gourmet cooking show.

” This is the family’s private quarters. The tourists won’t see this part of the house on the tours. Sometimes the boss makes us lunch. He fancies himself quite the cook.”

Mike chuckled as he ran his hand across the granite countertop.

“What’s so funny?” Cadence asked.

“Well, a few weeks ago, me and the boys were talking ’bout having a chili cook-off. Mr. DeLeon hears us and wants in. So, he goes about cooking batch after batch, throwing in all kinds of exotic herbs and spices that probably cost more than my trike. When all was said and done, my trike probably tasted better!”

He pulled a coffee mug down from the row of stainless-steel hooks above the coffee. He gestured with it to Cadence, who nodded a “yes”. Mike continued his story as he poured.

“So, the day of the cook-off arrives. We show up to work to find a half dozen identical crockpots lined up like little soldiers across this counter, each with a big number stenciled on it. We all get assigned a pot and we all must swear a pledge stating that we won’t tell any of the staff which pot is ours. Not just swear, but a freakin’ pinky swear for god’s sake!

He placed his hand beside his mouth and whispered, “I was number four.”

Cadence winked and did an “okay” sign with her hand.

“Lunch time rolls around,” Mike continued, “and Mr. D requires everyone to have a sample cup of each chili and a ‘pallet cleansing dollop of sorbet’ between each.”

The roadie took a seat and gestured for Cadence to join him. They shared a corner of the stainless-steel tabletop.

“All of the chili was pretty damn good, but there was one stand-out. You guessed it, pot number four!”

“That’s awesome!” Cadence chirped.

“Inside I was doin’ a victory jig, but on the outside, I just remained cool, calm, and collected as the guys congratulated me,“ Mike sipped his coffee, “But I was looking at Mr. D, his vein pumpin’ on his forehead. Ya see he don’t like ta lose.”

“Oh, oh! What did he do?” Cadence leaned forward and wrapped her hands around her cup.

“The guys quieted down when they saw that purple line a’throbbin’. Mr. D slowly crossed the kitchen as the guys cleared a path for him. I’m standing there with my back against the crockpots and he stops right about there.”

Mike pointed to the floor directly in front of them.

“He stares directly into my eyes like he’s trying to see through them into my brain. Then, he takes another step forward. At this point he’s standing so close to me I can see that he needs to trim his nose hair.”

“Eewww!” Cadence cringed.

“I know! You would think a guy that spends that much time in front of a mirror would notice a thing like that! Anyway, I’m waiting for him to spit venom when he cracks this crooked smile and slowly takes my hand. He pulls me in close and whispers a little something in my ear, then yanks my arm into the air and belts out,” We have a winner! Everyone cheered.”

“That’s great, Mikey! Did you win anything?”

“I got to keep my job!”

They both laughed.

“Hey, what did he say to you when he pulled you close?” Cadence probed.

“Not much. He just wanted me to give him a tip.”

“Did you give him one?”

“You betcha!!”

Mike whipped out his hand with his pinkie finger raised. It was one phalanx shorter than it used to be, crowned with a series of almost healed stitches.

“I gave him this one!”

Cadence recoiled, almost falling from her stool.

Mikey guffawed, “Oh my God, you shoulda seen your face!”

“That’s not funny!” Cadence regained her composure.

“Sure, it is! I’ve been working on that story since I found out you were coming!”

Cadence remained stern.

“Listen, you’re going to have to put up with that kind of crap from everyone when you start workin’ here. You better get used to it!”

Cadence softened a bit.

“Was that story even true?” she asked.

“Yes, it was. All of it was true up to the part about the tip. I told him to cut the acid from the tomatoes by adding brown sugar.”

“Really?”

“Well, you could use regular sugar, but that just makes it sweet without the molasses.”

“No, I meant do I really have the job?”

“Sure. I think you’ll do fine.”

“Thanks, Mikey!” Cadence squealed.

She threw open her arms but stopped short of an embrace.

“You’re not just trying to get another hug, are you?”

“Nope, the job is yours, but another hug ain’t going to hurt anything!”

Cadence gave him a quick squeeze across the table. Mike scooted off his stool and tossed back the rest of his coffee.

“How about I give you a nickel tour of the place?”

He gathered their coffee cups and motioned for Cadence to follow him. He deposited them in the sink as he began the tour.

“As said earlier, this is the private kitchen. We pretty much start and finish our days in this room. There’s plenty to eat, so don’t bring a lunch.”

A look of excitement crossed Mikey’s face.

“Wait ’til you see this!”

He stepped quickly to a huge stainless-steel door.

He patted it fondly as he spoke.

“This is a thing of beauty, filled to the brim with every kind of frozen treat you can think of. Mr. D loves his ice cream! Behold the splendor. . .”

Mikey pulled at the door, but it didn’t budge. He looked down to see a wooden kitchen spoon laced through the handle.

“Why. . .”

He wiggled the spoon loose and popped the latch.

“Like I was sayin’, “He flung the door open wide, “Behold the splendor contained within!”

The interior of the walk-in freezer was black as pitch.

“Lovely,” Cadence gushed sarcastically.

Mike inserted his hand into the darkness and slid it up and down the wall inside the door jamb, trying to find a light switch.

“The light usually goes on automatically. I can’t imagine what could be…”

A low menacing growl came from the center of the darkness. A glowing pair of amber eyes hovered a foot and a half above the floor.