Un2talented (Book 3 of the Un2 Series)

“Knock, knock!” Dorian called through the door at the back of the first booth as they entered the marketplace.

“Dory!” Cadence ran to greet him and threw her arms around him, nearly knocking him backward.

“Come in! Come in!” Granny ushered the group into her shop.

“Don’t I get a who’s there?” Dorian replied.

“You’ve been through enough.”

“I have a really good one this time.”

“I highly doubt that!” Granny laughed.

“But. . .”

“No buts, unless it’s this one!” Granny patted Griffin’s backside. “Gotta love that little loaf!”

“See!” Griffin asserted. “I told you!”

“Greetings, friends!” Raphael stepped forward, carrying plates of pie. “You must be famished!”

“Griffin! Remember that I said I know a guy? This is that guy!”

Dorian turned to Reese. “Cardamom.” He pointed at Raphael.

He took a plate and began to shovel pie into his mouth.

“We hear you’re quite the baker. I can’t wait to sample your wares!” Griffin commented as he took a slice.

“He says that to all the bakers!” Gary, now fully clothed including velvet tights and a bejeweled codpiece, joined the conversation.

“Interesting choices,” Leslie nodded downward.

“You might think velvet conceals certain aspects of a person’s, um, stuff, but you would be very mistaken!”

“And the codpiece is meant to divert my attention?” Leslie laughed.

“I’m bringing ’em back!” Gary wiggled his hips back and forth. “Way more stylish than a fanny pack!”

“But where will you keep your keys?” Reese chuckled. She spotted Joey and waved him over. The two met with an embrace.

“I was very worried about you! I know you are virtually indestructible, but I still worry.” Joey reengaged the hug. “Where’s Charlie?”

“He’s playing reverse slot machine,” Griffin answered. “And it’s not as fun as it sounds.”

Joey furrowed his brow. Reese shook her head and sighed.

“I’ll explain what happened as best I can. What does a girl need to do to get a pint around here?” She called out over Joey’s shoulder.

“Be positive…” Granny replied.

“Always am!”

“…Or B negative?” Granny continued. ”I also have some O negative that was freshly squeezed from one of the finest grass-fed yoga instructors earlier this morning. But, I’ve gotta warn ya, he’s a big fan of the brussels sprouts!”

“Perfect!” Reese exclaimed. “You wouldn’t happen to have a little granulated garlic to top it off, would you?”

“Not in this place, but I have some in the kitchen back at the motel. It will just take a wag of a lamb’s tail to get some.”

“The motel where we work?” Dorian asked through a mouthful of pie.

“The very same,” Granny nodded.

“You can just pop back and forth to the motel from here? From medieval times to the current day? Why didn’t you simply zap me here when I came to you for help?”

Granny peered over the top of her glasses.

“Who am I and what is my role around here?”

“You’re Numia, demi-goddess in charge of awkward moments and unfortunate circumstances.”

“Have you experienced any of the previously mentioned occurrences?”

“Yes. Plenty of both.”

“Pretty damn good at my job, ain’t I?” Granny tittered. “Besides, Cate let you drive that sweet car, truck, boat thing! You would have missed out on that if I just zapped you here.”

“That’s true.”

“Secondly, you’ve proven to be as heroic as all get out! You wouldn’t be such a badass if you carpooled with your granny to the battlefield.”

“Well, when you put it that way.”

“And, thirdly, you would have turned into jerky and then crumbled into dust without the protection of the armor or the chrono-phylactic mist.”

Dorian swallowed hard.

“You probably could have led with that one, don’t cha think?”

“And miss out on a punchline? I don’t think so!” Granny laughed. “Anyway, I’m headed to the kitchen for the garlic. Anyone wanting to enter your present-day through the motel can tag along. Anyone wanting to return through the mansion can stay with Dory.”

“Wait, what?”

“You have the Aquamino to return. Be sure to set the seat and mirrors back to where you found them.”

“An O-negative nightcap with a sprinkle of garlic is in my future! I’m going to take the scenic route through the motel. How about you, Joey?”

“I’ll hang with Granny and Reese,” Joey answered. “We’ll catch up with you at DeLeon’s.”

“I’ll join the boy hero,” DeLeon offered. “A nice straight shot to my backdoor.”

“Shotgun!” Cadence called.

“You would really make a wounded man ride in the bed of a truck?” DeLeon groaned.

“You mean a man with a sword strapped to his outstretched leg?”

“Point taken.”

“I bequeath my previously acquired shotgun to Cadence!” Reese asserted.

“We’ll ride in the back with you,” Gary inserted. “Is that okay with you, Leslie?”

“Sure! Why not? Let’s take a car, truck, boat ride! How about you, Grif? We can probably squeeze another one in the cab.”

“Thanks, but I’ve got someone waiting for me back in my apartment at Temporal Corp. Granny’s going to drop me there.”

“Sounds good!” Dorian confirmed. “Any chance…”

“…of pie to go?” Raphael interjected, holding out a bundle of linen-wrapped parcels.

“Awesome!” Dorian squealed. “But I was going to ask if I could hit the garderobe one last time.”