SWNOVELS Trojan Crown: Chapter 19
“About that favor…” Penelope is chewing on her bottom lip with slightly narrowed eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was nervous.
We’re in Jack’s study after having left the kids with Mom, both eager to spend some time with Gamma Mary.
Now that we’re in here, I’m glad for the privacy. Whatever she’s about to ask seems serious. Trying to ease some of her worry, I take both of her hands in mine and squeeze. “You can ask me for anything, Pen. Seriously.”
“I’m pregnant.” She lets it out in one fell swoop and I can’t help but smile, trying not to act too unsurprised.
“Congratulations! That’s amazing news, isn’t it?” I’m hesitant, not sure how I’m supposed to be reacting to this information. Yes, I’d be ecstatic if I were in her shoes, but then again, I’m not privy to everything that lies behind her situation with Jack.
She shifts in place, her lips pursing as she squeezes both eyes shut.
“Jack’s the dad!” She blurts out quickly, peeking at me through one eye.
“That’s wonderful, Pen! He’s going to be such a good father. Definitely has the protective part down pat.” I chuckle, my reaction finally making Pen open both eyes and smile.
“Oh god, I can’t tell you how relieved I am to have another girl in on my predicament. It’s been so hard carrying this around all by myself.”
Her face is all splotchy, and her breathing is coming out ragged. It’s clear she still needs soothing. I pull her into a hug, rubbing slow circles down her back. “Shhh. This is a happy moment. Don’t let anyone take this away from you.”
“Thank you, Anaya. That means the world to me. That you’re not freaking out and being all judgy.”
“Never. True friends never judge.” I pull back, looking into her eyes so she knows I mean it. I’d love nothing more than to be her friend.
Genuinely good people are hard to come by, and I can tell that Penelope has a good heart.
She’s smiling now, her eyes all misty as her face turns pink. “I feel the same way. And I want you to know that there’s no judging on the whole you and Austin situation.”
Now it’s my turn to blush. “Um. That… There’s… Yeah, nothing’s happening there.”
She purses her lips to the side, one solitary brow raising. “I’m not buying that. But anyway, just know that you won’t get any opposition from me.”
My throat gets tight and my chest gets heated. It’s time to change the subject. “So, that favor you needed. Is it about the baby?”
Mission accomplished. As soon as I’ve mentioned the baby, Pen’s face transforms, a light glowing from within that no amount of makeup could recreate.
“Yes! I need to give you a rundown of Jack and me first, though.” She scrunches her nose and blows out a breath in annoyance. “Long story short, we were together. Now we’re not together, but he wants to be.”
I cut in, sensing there’s more to this. “Okay, but do you want to be? Back together, that is.”
Pen rolls in her lips, fighting a smile as she gives me a quick nod. “Yes. But I’m making him work for it. I need to be sure that he won’t break my heart like he did in the past.” She walks over to the large chesterfield and plops down, bringing a throw pillow to her lap and squeezing it tightly. “But regardless of what happens between Jack and me, I’d never cut the baby out of his life. That’s where I need your help. With telling the kids. They need to know that they’re going to have a nephew.”
My mouth hangs open. That’s a big ask. Not that I wouldn’t help, I’m just not sure I’d be the best person to break the news. “What were you thinking of doing? Did you want me to let in on their new status as auntie and uncle?”
Penelope chuckles. “Oh god no. I wouldn’t do that to you. I just need you to warm them up to the idea first. You know, like dropping hints at a new baby between Jack and me. Try to gauge what their take would be on it.”
I let out a deep sigh, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders. “That I can definitely do. Count me in.”
Pen claps her hands together, a wide smile gracing her face. “Awesome. Let me know what kind of feedback you get from them as soon as you have it. They’ve been through so much; I don’t want to risk this news impacting what little progress they’ve made.” Her face turns somber, something dark flashing before her eyes. “How’s Amanda? Is she still having her nightmares?”
I walk over, lowering myself onto the leather sofa beside her. “Yes, but not as frequently as when I first got here. I think she’s doing better. There’s definitely hope.”
Pen’s eyes close, her mouth slightly parting as she sucks in a ragged breath. She looks lost in a moment—one I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Grabbing hold of her hand and placing it between mine, I try to impart as much comfort as possible. “Whatever it is you’ve gone through, it’s all in the past now. You’ve survived it and you’re stronger for it. It didn’t end you. You’re here. You’ve got this. And you know why?”
Pen keeps her eyes closed, a tear rolling down her cheek, but she answers. “Why?”
“You’ve got this because you’re a survivor, and that spirit will carry you through whatever lies ahead. People like us never give up. We fight until our very last breath.”
Pen’s eyes open at that, her trembling lips turning up into a hopeful smile. “God, Anaya. Thank you.”
“Any time,” I whisper back as she wraps me into a tight embrace, this moment between us embedding itself into my memory because of what she says next.
“You’ve got the mom role down pretty good. Sure you don’t want to be my step mommy?” She’s cackling as my entire body has gone stock-still. “Oh my god. You should look at your face.”
She’s pulled away from me now, her eyes dancing over my surely pale features. “Um…”
“I was kidding, Anaya. Sort of.” She bursts into hysterical laughter again. “I mean. Technically, Austin and I aren’t related at all anymore, so that term would only apply to the kids.”
I’m still reeling, unable to form words. What she said caught me so off guard. I’m not ready to be anyone’s stepmom, am I? Dear god. What am I saying? Austin and I aren’t a thing, and we’ll never be a thing, so this shouldn’t even be a question.
Finally regaining some of my composure, I shake my head and break myself free of Pen’s hold. “Girl, no. Don’t even joke like that. I’m still married. Although I’m hoping that won’t be the case for long. But despite that, I can’t just jump into another relationship right after. And one with my employer? Yeah, no.”
“Look at you rambling and all nervous.” Pen is giving me side-eye, her lips rolling in and fighting a smile.
I’m about to give her a piece of my mind when the study door opens and Mom stands under the frame, the look on her face turning my body into ice.
“Ray is here.” Mom’s words hang in the air like an ominous cloud, neither of us knowing what to say until Pen jumps in.
“Is Ray the soon-to-be ex?” I nod in response before Pen continues. “Right. Well, I’ll take the kids so you can handle business. Holler at the men if you need anything.”
She’s disappearing down the hall toward the children when Mom grabs my wrist. “Give me a moment. I need to grab the shotgun and call the foreman.”
“Why the foreman?”
“Child, if I call Austin, he’ll shoot the man right where he stands.”
My eyes go wide at her statement. “What? Why?”
Mom scoffs. “You’d have to be blind not to notice, Anaya. That man is clearly protective of you, and don’t go fooling yourself into thinking it’s just because you’re his nanny.”
My mouth is opening and closing like a flailing fish. She’s wrong. She must be. What Austin and I have is purely physical.
There’s a pounding off in the distance, the sound pulling me from my thoughts. “Ray. He’s going to break down the door.” Stepping into the hallway, I speak over my shoulder. “Go get the shotgun and be at the ready.”
“On it.” Mom responds as I walk toward my ex, my stomach churning every step of the way.
“THERE SHE IS. MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.” Ray’s words have bile rising in my throat.
“I’m not your wife. Not for long, anyway,” I mutter under my breath as I walk down the steps and onto the gravel. “What are you doing, Ray? I thought I made it clear the last time you were here. We’re over. There’s nothing to discuss.”
His eyes narrow, darkness filling them before it’s gone and a placid expression settling over his face. “That’s only because I rushed you. I pressured you and you reacted hastily. If I’d given you more time, you wouldn’t have felt cornered.” He steps closer, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of my face. “You never did like ultimatums.”
I hate that he knows anything about me, but I can’t deny that what he’s saying is true. At least the part about ultimatums. “I may not like the way you rushed me, but the conclusion would have been the same, regardless. You cheated on me, Ray. That’s not something I could ever get past.”
The man I thought I once loved drops to his knees, his arms wrapping around my legs like I’m his lifeline. Gone is the alpha I fell for and in his place is this pitiful excuse for a man. “One time, Anaya. It was just one time. One moment of weakness. She meant nothing, and if I could take it all back, I would. I’d never hurt you the way I did. I’m so fucking sorry. Please believe me.”
He’s squeezing me tightly, pleading that I take his words as truth. Even if they were, would I want to go back with him? The fraction of time I’ve spent with Austin has shown me the potential of what could be. That a relationship could be explosive, hot, and all consuming.
These are things I never once felt with Ray. And to be honest, he was the first man that had made me his world. I found safety in that, albeit false. I felt safe in the idea that he would never want to leave me, just like my dad had. This one facet of our relationship was the main driving source of why we were together, and now that it’s shattered, I don’t think I could ever fall back on whatever it was, because it sure as shit wasn’t love.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Ray. I don’t want to be with you anymore. Even if I accept what you did and forgive you, things could never go back to the way they were.”
My words have Ray shooting back up to his feet, his hands going to either of my biceps. “Don’t say that, beautiful. You were made for me. Let me prove it to you? Don’t our years of marriage deserve at least that?”
I rear my head back, my mind and heart conflicting with the guilt he’s just dropped at my feet. “Even if I wanted to give you another chance, Ray, how would I do that? I’m in the middle of a job, nannying for the Crown family. I’m not in a position to move back home, even if I wanted to, which I don’t.”
Ray’s lips turn up into a sly smile. “Don’t worry, darling. I thought you’d need a little more groveling before you’d take me back, so I made some arrangements.”
I’m blinking, surprised by what he’s just said. “Arrangements?”
“Yes. I’m staying at the ranch.”
“What?!” I’m stunned, choking back a plethora of choice words. “How did you even do that? Mom handles all the booking, and she never would have allowed that.”
“I used an alias.” He’s smirking, his fingers digging deeper into my flesh. “Just think about it. I’ll still be giving you some space. You don’t need to stay in the cabin with me, but I’ll be close by so you can let me win you back. And if, after all that, you still don’t want to be with me, then I promise I’ll let you go. No matter how much it breaks me.”
Silence stretches between us, my heart pounding with the reality that he’s going to be here for the foreseeable future. God, why is this happening?
I open my mouth to respond when a loud booming voice cuts into our moment.
“Hands off!” Turning my head, I see Austin getting off an ATV, the Polaris quickly approaching behind him.
Great. The cavalry’s here. Let’s just hope Mom was wrong about Austin shooting Ray. As much as I don’t like him, I still don’t want him dead, and I definitely don’t want Austin getting in trouble because of it.