Traveller Probo

Kusadasi was a picturesque Mediterranean resort town that soon became the preferred location for the Byzantium Traveller team’s R&R. There was plenty of local colour as well as young, female tourists who frequented the markets, beaches and bars. As they took in the sights, sunlight sparkled off the water and a local stray cat scrounged.

Chuck made no secret that he enjoyed the time-honoured soldiers’ pastime of girl-watching. The locals knew the famous Byzantium Traveller team trained nearby and some of the clubs made a point of offering free drinks to any of the team who might wander in. Chuck leered at a pair of Turkish girls as they passed. The men had become a tourist attraction in their own right and most of the young women seemed to consider their attention most welcome. “Struth mate, look at that!” exclaimed Chuck wistfully. “That’s bloody gorgeous! These Turkish girls have the thickest, most amazing hair. And look at her bum! It looks like an upside-down heart. Couldn’t you just give that a bite?”

Osborne’s thoughts were elsewhere. “Carol wouldn’t think that,” he replied absently.

Chuck looked stung and winced at the mention of his wife, who was on her way to Turkey to join her husband for some badly needed leave. “Oh mate, that’s not nice! I was only appreciating the scenery. Besides, it doesn’t matter where you get an appetite, as long as you have an appetite.” He leaned back into his chair and placed his hands behind his head to gaze at the ceiling dreamily. “And do I have one hell of an appetite!”

Osborne grimaced at the thought. “Do you mind? I’m trying to drink my coffee.”

Chuck rolled his eyes and smiled. “Oh come on, you single blokes can’t have all the fun. Every time Hami comes back from R&R, he’s lost about five kilos. Have you ever seen anyone shag so much? He’s like an antechinus, you know, those little marsupial rats at home.”

Osborne looked up, not comprehending Chuck’s logic.

“Oh come on mate. Antechinus! During breeding season, the males can shag themselves to death. Hami’s like that,” Chuck paused to take a sip from his Turkish coffee as he lecherously watched another couple of girls walk by. “One day, he’s going to bloody kill himself.”

Osborne smiled and shrugged, “Yeah but I’m not Hami.”

“Thank Christ for that,” replied Chuck absently. “We’d never get any work done otherwise.”

A group of young tourists paused to ask for autographs and selfies. Chuck sat up smartly and beamed his most charming smile, which was never his strong point. After handshakes and a few kisses they happily went on their way and Chuck settled back into his chair with a sigh. “God, I love this job.” He paused to cast a glance at his friend and frowned, “Which brings to mind a unique anomaly I’ve observed of late.”

Osborne, lost in thought, roused himself enough to glance at Chuck and ask, “What’s that?”

“You!” replied Chuck. “Normally you’re the first to appreciate the finer points of the female figure and today it’s like you’ve become disinterested or something, like our poor Brother Alex, the silly celibate prick that he is.”

Osborne grinned. “The pressures of being an officer and a gentleman, my friend. Certainly something you’ll never experience.”

Chuck snorted a, “Fuck off!” then paused a moment with narrowed eyes. “No. No bloody way. Something else is up here. It’s not the project or else you would have told me. No, something else.” He paused and watched Osborne who screwed up his face and looked at Chuck with a frown. “Okay, come-on. Spill. What’s happening?”

Osborne looked uncomfortable and then shrugged, “Oh, you know, like I said, the pressures of rank and such.”

Chuck nodded doubtfully, unconvinced. “It would take a lot more than rank for you to not take interest in the delectable smorgasbord that’s wandering Kusadasi at the moment. Hmmm …,” he pondered a moment and his eyes narrowed. He had one of the sharpest minds in the business and there was little chance that Osborne would last a minute of his friend’s interrogation. He was tough, he knew that but in some matters he was a pushover. He prepared himself nonetheless.

A couple of pretty girls, accompanied by handsome young men, stopped and asked Chuck, “Hey, excuse me for asking but are you guys part of the Traveller team?” The pretty brunette’s cultured English accent caught Chuck’s attention and his smile was his most disarming.

Osborne breathed a sigh of relief at the interruption and, as Chuck signed a few autographs, Professor Taylor joined them. An enthralled café owner hurried forward with complimentary coffees, for the café was packed with curious onlookers and Osborne knew it was because of them. The Travellers were excellent for local business, though he was concerned at how high-profile they had become. While the locals and the tourists they had met so far were nothing but supportive, there had been reports of criticism of the Traveller projects. Some in religious circles described any Traveller project as evil, citing they were to research civilisations destroyed by God. The Transportation of researchers to a people God had seen fit to destroy because of their wicked and faithless ways was argued as an ungodly act. In Turkey, some advocated to leave what God had buried to where it lay, for to revisit such a place would be against God’s will.

“You seem pleased with yourself,” mentioned Chuck as the academic took his seat.

“Rather!” smiled Professor Taylor as he nibbled on a chunk of Turkish delight. “I’ve just received news that toy manufacturer Mattel is ready to release a range of Byzantium Traveller dolls and action figures.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” exclaimed Chuck in dismay.

Professor Taylor smiled smugly as he continued, “Oh, I think you might like it Sergeant. The range includes not only those selected for Transportation but also the principle trainers. There’s a doll that is fashioned after you.”

Osborne laughed, “You mean butt ugly, with a tiny little todger.”

Chuck couldn’t help but laugh as he added, “Mate, if they were going to make my doll anatomically correct, it wouldn’t be sold to kids, I’ll give ya the drum. Their mum’s would buy them though.”

Osborne chuckled, again distracted. Despite the final planning and training, there was a more challenging issue at hand and he had no real clue as to how to proceed.