Tragic Bonds (The Bonds that Tie Book 5)

I’m dreaming.

There’s no question about that, but I already know that something is off about this dream. The moment that awareness hits me, I can feel her here. It’s not that I feel like there’s something wrong, like there’s someone intruding on my mind space, because she’s the other half of my soul who walks this earth beside me, as perfectly right in this space as I myself am, but it’s still different to have her here in my mind like this.

I’m so primed to sense her here that I’m aware of her instantly. It takes her a little longer to recognize that she’s wandered her way into my mind, the fog of sleep taking a moment to lift before she’s blinking around at the space with just a little bit of panic.

“Jesus. I’m so sorry, Gabe,” she says with a groan, and I have to concentrate to reach her in the murky darkness of my unconscious state, but when I do, some of the tension eases out of her.

She’s sitting there on what appears to be a small rock. I don’t know whether I imagined that rock for her or whether she has the ability to manipulate this state as well. All of this is so far beyond my own ability to rationalize, but I take a seat next to her.

“Don’t worry about it, Bonded. You’re welcome to every part of me, sleeping or awake.”

I watch as, even in this dream state, a blush creeps over her cheeks at my words. I’ve discovered that she reacts that way to soft and kind words, even when they’re the truest ones that have ever passed my lips.

“It’s still an invasion of privacy,” she says, her voice gloomy and upset. I wrap an arm around her shoulders.

“Stop beating yourself up, Bonded. I already know that you didn’t mean to. But even if you did, I would have welcomed you here.”

She sighs, burying her face into the crook of my neck as she murmurs under her breath, “Just because we’re Bonded doesn’t mean that I am entitled to every little facet of your lives. You deserve to have some privacy, and I’ve already ripped that away from one of my Bonded… I don’t want to do that to anyone else.”

I shrug at her but tuck her further into my body. “Honestly, Nox is the only one who was ever going to have an issue with that, and you guys have sorted that out between you, right?”

She sighs again and nods, the tiniest movement of her head. “I don’t think he wants me to see his nightmares though. I don’t think anyone in the Bonded Group would want me seeing their nightmares.”

When she’s in this type of state, I already know there’s no talking her out of it. The guilt is eating away at her regardless, so better to distract her than try to argue with it. “Anything you want to see while we’re here? Any of my memories you want to spelunk with me? I’m an open book, you know. Nothing to hide.”

She huffs out a laugh and pulls away just enough to look up at me as the corners of her mouth quirk up and transform her face in the most gorgeous of grins.

She’s heartbreakingly beautiful.

“I’m sure there’s something I could find that you wouldn’t want me to see. You’re not actually a saint, you know.”

I clutch my chest as though she’s mortally wounded me, and though there is the tiniest of truth in her words, there’s not a lot of shit I’m embarrassed about or regret, and there’s also nothing that I wouldn’t give her.

I’m happy to sit here and banter with her for the rest of the night, keeping her mind safe and loved within my own until we wake, but there is a small growling noise off in the distance that has me stiffening around her protectively.

“What the hell was that?” Oli mumbles as she tries to look around me. I take a deep breath to resign myself to the truth.

“That would be my dragon. He’s obviously figured out that you’re here and wants some attention.”

She glances up at me in shock. “Your dragon… he talks to you?”

I groan and rub a hand over my face, the action just as soothing in my dream as it is in real life, as though I am able to clear away all of the terrible thoughts with the action. “It couldn’t before. My bond wasn’t like yours or the Dravens’, but after my dragon first appeared… it now has a voice.”

I stopped for a second and think about it before tilting my head. “Well, not a voice, exactly. More like demands— feelings that it transfers through to me, and it’s very clear, even without actually speaking the words.”

Oli stares at me as though I’ve kicked a shadow puppy right here in front of her. I try not to squirm, but it feels like I’ve done something terrible to her, and fuck if I can figure out what is it.

Her voice comes out like a croak. “So, by Bonding with me, your bond changed. That doesn’t seem right. That’s not what’s supposed to happen, Gabe.”

Ah.

She’s worried that she’s hurt me unintentionally. That I can deal with.

I shrug and smooth a hand down her face affectionately, a mirror of what I had done only a few hours ago when she had been on her knees for me, and a deep blush blooms over her cheeks as she remembers the action as well.

“I’m starting to learn not to question things, Bonded. Nothing about our Bonded Group is following the ‘rules’ of the Gifted. It’s easier if we all just learn to roll with it.”

She shakes her head at me. “We can’t just roll with it. This affects everything, and if there’s the potential of your bond changing then… what’s to say that Gryphon and Atlas’ won’t change as well? Is it only within our Bonded Group, or have other people’s bonds changed? What does this mean for us all?”

I’m not sure it’s all that deep, but I don’t want to argue with my Bonded when she is looking this upset. Instead, I stand up and take her by the hand to pull her to my side as I move through the dream space with her, leading her to the darkest recesses of my mind until we are faced with the dragon.

My bond.

It looks and feels differently in here than it ever has before. I’ve never noticed anything different or unusual about it, and I certainly have never felt as though there was a god living inside of me the way that Oli or the Dravens have. But now, staring up into the amber eyes of the dragon, I get the sense of otherness here.

It’s never felt like that before.

Oli stares at the dragon the same way that she stares at the shadow creatures, with love and affection that borders on obsession, like she can’t wait to get her hands on the shiny scales and long snout of the dragon just to pepper kisses onto it as though it were nothing more than an adorable little creature. As though it’s as harmless as a mouse and not a mythical, fire-breathing nightmare.

“Gabe, it is so beautiful! How could you not show this to me before?”

I let her slip out of my arms as the pull of the dragon becomes too much for her, and she has to get closer to it. My chest swells with pride at the way she mumbles happily under her breath, cooing and fussing over the beast, and it laps up the attention.

“It wasn’t like this before, Oli. None of my creatures were like this before. I was always in control, but now I feel as though I’m just sitting on the sidelines when it takes over. Like my body—“

I pause, but she fills in the space for me. “Is a vessel? I told you, Gabe, this changes things.”

“I know,” I say, because there isn’t really any arguing with her. The more I think about it, the more that she has a point.

The dragon pushes forward into her hand to get more of the gentle strokes she’s giving it, pushing and pushing and pushing until she is laid out flat on her back with its entire head covering her chest and stomach as she giggles and loves on it.

I’m not controlling it in any way.

I can’t stop it from doing any of this, and for the first time, I understand North’s panic over his own creatures. The dragon is huge, even in this space, and it could easily tear her to pieces right now. Would that hurt her or just send her back into her own body? Would it trap her mind here so that part of her life force died here in my mind?

This is all way too confusing for me. This is the type of theoretical philosophical bullshit that is far more up Nox’s alley, and I desperately want us both to wake up and get out of this space and away from any potential danger, back to where I know how the world works.

“It’s not going to hurt me, Gabe,” Oli mumbles from where her face is pressed into the scaly cheek of my dragon.

I groan at her. “Are you reading minds now too?”

She sighs and mutters soothing words to the dragon as she pulls away from it, rolling up to stand back on her own two feet. “I’ve become very good at reading the panicked silence of my Bonds. Unfortunately, it happens all too often. He’s not going to hurt me, the same way that Brutus isn’t going to hurt me, the same way that August isn’t going to hurt me.”

She stumbles a little over Brutus’ name, and it makes me wonder, once again, what happened in that bedroom of Nox’s that had changed things so completely between the two of them.

“The Dravens both have much better control over their creatures than I have over the dragon that just appeared in my mind. Come on, let’s try to wake up and get out of this place before something happens and I have to try and explain to everyone… this. Fuck knows how I’d do it.”

Oli giggles at my hand flinging around at the dragon as though this is all so amusing to her, but she follows me anyway.

I don’t know how we get out of the space, only that we keep walking hand in hand until eventually, we both wake up in her bed once again.

Atlas is not happy about the dream walking.

Oli had woken up, kissed me quickly, and then crawled out from between the two of us, heading over to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. It’s early, the sun’s still not up yet, but she’s been so focused on keeping up with her training that I already know exactly where she’s going to be heading.

Atlas didn’t wake up until I had shaken him, quietly explaining what had happened. The moment I mentioned the dragon, he jumps up out of the bed to pull on a pair of boxer shorts and stomp into the bathroom after Oli, a savage look on his face that he usually reserves for Nox.

Oli is scrubbing the shampoo out of her hair, her eyes shut as the water runs over her, and it strikes me right in the chest again how utterly stunning she really is. My breath squeezes out of my lungs, and I have to hold in an embarrassingly squeaky sound, one that I wouldn’t mind Oli hearing, but Atlas doesn’t need any more ammo on me.

He’s looking too pissed to notice me though, and though his voice is still level and calm, his words as he confronts Oli aren’t. “How did you know that his dragon wouldn’t hurt you? How could you know that? The dragon isn’t a fully formed creature like the shadows are. You have to take this stuff more seriously, we’ve got too much happening already without you being careless with the creatures of your Bonds.”

She props one of her fists on to her hip and shoots him a grumpy look of her own, one that I’m sure would be more effective if she wasn’t completely naked and soaped up. There’s no way that Atlas is reacting to the sight of her any differently than I am, and, honestly, all I want to do right now is fling open that shower door and do a replay of last night.

Jesus, get a hold of yourself, Ardern.

Neither of them notice me losing my shit. Oli just snaps at Atlas, “I know the same way that I always knew that the shadow creatures wouldn’t hurt me. I can feel it.”

Atlas nods at her with just a hint of sarcasm that is definitely going to get him into trouble, but I let him dig his own grave, standing there quietly enjoying the view and the privilege of being able to see it. The way that she’s relaxed around both of us in here together is exactly what Atlas had been aiming for last night, to break down the last of the barriers that she had, the last vestiges of shyness in her about this Bonded Group so that we no longer have to tiptoe around her. I’m sure that Nox will still be a problem, but I never expected anything different. I doubt soul-bonding has been enough to change him.

“I’m sure you’re the one who told North and Gryphon that they needed to learn how to trust my bond. Well, this is part of that as well. My bond says that I am safe with the dragon, so I’m safe.”

Atlas groans and rubs a hand over his face. “The same bond that we just found out might want you dead to take over your vessel? I’m sorry, but I am not so quick to trust what it’s saying if it thinks that we’re just going to stand by and let it take over fully.”

Oli shakes her head as she cuts off the water, opening the shower door and grabbing a towel. I feel pissed off at that small piece of fabric for just as long as it takes her to start to dry off, bending down to reach her legs, and I’m once again struck down at the sight of her perfect ass.

“I trust it, Atlas. It’s always been honest to me, even when the truth hurt and damaged the relationship between us. If it says to trust the creatures, all of them, then I’m going to. Besides, the dragon just wanted a cuddle.”

Atlas turns to send me a savage look, but I’m both unwilling to get into this argument with them and utterly unable to as Oli starts to pull on her Tac gear, her body twisting and flexing in a way that has me needing a cold shower.

He rolls his eyes at me and steps towards her once more. “I’m not going to apologize for worrying about you, especially now that everyone else seems to have forgotten how much danger there is still in the unknown.”

Oli pulls the shirt over her head and then steps towards him, bridging the last of the gap as she winds her arms around his waist. “I’m sure everybody else will freak out about it as well, but the way I see it, we have more weapons on our side now. The fact that my bond brought out a dragon in Gabe isn’t a bad thing, and we need everything we can get our hands on to deal with Davies and the rest of the Resistance.”

She doesn’t say it, but we’re all thinking about his family, the other people that we’re going to have to deal with.

Atlas is completely aware of this fact, of the threat that his family is to us all, but it still feels like an asshole move to point out that we’re going to have to deal with them just as much as we’re going to have to deal with Davies.

Oli pulls away from Atlas to finish getting ready, tucking her shirt in and pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. I finally regain control of my legs and stalk forward to climb into the shower, still completely unabashed about being stark naked in front of them both. Oli sneaks me a sidelong look with just a hint of pink on her cheeks.

“If you wait for me, I’ll come to training with you,” I call out as I soap up my chest, smug as fuck at the way that her eyes linger on my movements.

“I’m not going straight to training,” Oli says before her eyes flick back up to mine. “North slept in his office last night, and I’m going to go see him.”

Well, fuck.

Atlas and I both exchange a look. It hasn’t been a secret that North has been acting completely out of character since Nox’s death and resurrection.

I do not envy my Bond having to go and sort that situation out.

I’m not worried about her in the least, more that it could really go one of two ways. Either North is going to have a complete breakdown over everything that happened, or the two of them are going to have screaming, angry, rough sex in the office. Okay, maybe I am a little bit jealous about that part because even after spending the night with her and worshiping every inch of her perfection, I still haven’t had enough.

I don’t think I’ll ever have enough.

“Give me a minute then, Bonded. I’ll walk you over there.”