Touching the Heart of Ace

I kicked Jason??s leg under the table. He did not even flinch. He was ignoring me; this pain in my nose!

I poked the eggs in my plate, imagining they were Jason??s eyes.

He promised me and here he was eating food like a caveman. I peeked through my bangs and noticed my mom going through her office papers.

I kicked Jason again and a bit harder than before. He glared and I nodded to mom.

He huffed, closing his eyes. Was he cursing me out? He was!!! I wanted to throw my egg benedict on his face.

I took my phone and texted Jason. I will tell mom; you and Chris are fuck buddies.

He glared at me flabbergasted. I hate you.

I hate you too. I begged with my eyes and nodded towards mom.

No. He rose his right eyebrow.

I will tell that you are not using protection. I narrowed my eyes.

That is a lie, Goose.

Is it? Mom will cut your pee pee off before the test results are in. He stabbed his fork on the plate and I felt that prick on my butt. ??Mom??? Jason started and I promptly looked to my lap.

??Yes, son.??

??Uhh... you are right. I... uh... should meet the kid. I mean, Robert said I am to be his CEO after internship. I should go and see his kid, right? It is the right thing to do.?? Jason should take some acting classes. He was as enthusiastic as going to a funeral.

??That is right, sweetheart. You should. I have gifts for the baby, please take them with you.??

?? Yeah... uh... Dave will you please come with me? I don??t want to go alone.??

??I would love to, Jace.??

??Yaaay!?? He waved his hands in the air.

God! He was so annoying.

I squealed as I packed stuff to my bag. Robbie hadn??t asked me to bring anything. But his stay at the hospital was extended. What was that about, I had no idea, but he promised me that the baby was fine and healthy.

He sounded so tired when he called me. Clearly the labour time was longer than they all expected and Robbie did not say much on the topic.

I missed him so so much. He begged me to visit him.

??It is a bad idea.?? Jason was against my going but he did not understand. I had to be there. Robbie asked me to visit.

??I promise, Jason. No funny business. I will go there, see the baby and that is it.?? Jason did not believe me and truthfully I did not believe it either.

??You...?? He sighed and rubbed his face. ??Don??t you think you should stop...?? He waved his hand around. ??... whatever the thing that is going on???

I took more time than necessary to fold a sweater, just in case it got cold at night in the hospital.

I chuckled, making sure Jason could not see my face. ??Of course, slave, don??t be silly. The baby is here now. We will stop. It is not like we are not going to continue this forever. don??t worry, I will talk to Robbie.??

Jason did not reply and when I turned around he was staring at me. He did not approve and he did not trust me.

My hands were shaking.

??No funny business in the hospital. You stop if he tries.??

??No funny business, and I will stop if he tries.?? I parroted.

I released a sigh of relief when Jason helped me zip up the overflowing bag. He hugged me unexpectedly. ??Don??t think that I hate you, goose. You are my brother, my everything... I have sworn myself that I will protect you with all I have. But how can I protect you from yourself? What you are getting into is not... what you need. I was hoping one day you will get out of it on your own. But you both are digging it deeper than a grave. It will hurt you in the end. More you than him.??

??This is the end of what we are doing, Jace. I mean, it is no big deal. We... It is okay. I...??

??Hey... hey... Whatever that is, you will never face it alone. I am here. So is mom. We all love you. Just... Let us help you. All I need is a nod and I will take Robert off your back.??

??I know... I know... I am fine. He is a father now, he will understand. Come on, we have a long drive.??

Thankfully Jason did not bring up the topic again. I meant, it was not like it was a big deal. We just hadn??t seen each other and we missed each other. Friends also missed each other. Jason was worrying for nothing.

What would he be doing? He asked me to come. Begged me, actually. I covered my face as I smiled. I heard Jason sigh. He did not understand.

He said he missed me so much; he was not sleeping well without me beside him. I was not either. We got used to being together all the time in a short period of time.

I missed him terribly.

Jason refused to come in and meet Robbie. He helped me with the bag and left with a final glare. I rolled my eyes, he just did not understand. I huffed.

??Ace Davidson Truscott; to meet Robert Brantley.??

??First entry to the maternity ward???

??No, I have been cleared previously.?? I handed the receptionist the green card they had provided, clearing me off any communicable diseases and approved me as a safe visitor. I waited in the lobby, impatiently. Would he hug me? Kiss me? Would he try to...

??Ace!?? Robert strolled to me with a hard face and my heart dropped. I thought... I... What should I say now?

??Uhmm...??

??Thank you for coming.??

I nodded. Was I going to cry? He had begged me to come. Did he not want me here anymore?

?? Your mother had informed me of your arrival.??

??Oh.??

??This way please.?? There was a nurse beside him I had not noticed at first. I squeezed the strap of my bag to death until Robbie took it away from me. I followed them to the lift.

??I thought the room was downstairs.??

??I changed it to the sixth floor. Private wing.?? Was Robbie angry at me? He never treated me like this before.

The nurse took us to a well-furnished luxury room and made me sign a couple of documents. ??This is just for a formality, you can change the visitation hours later, any time you want, sweetie. Just ask for Nancy.??

??Thank you, Ma??am.?? I let her tie a blue band around my wrist.

?? Are you expecting anyone else, Mr. Brantley??? Nancy asked once she was satisfied with the paper work.

??No.??

She smiled at me before leaving.

??Holy Fuck! I thought she will never leave.??

Robbie picked me up in a swift move and pressed me to the wall. He kissed me like he was literally dying for my taste.

??Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.??

??Robbie???

He started unbuttoning my shirt until he could see my chest properly and squished his face to the crook of my neck. ??I fucking missed you. I was going crazy. Thank God, you are here.?? ??For an atheist, you remember Him a lot.??

He snorted, still tucked under my chin. ??If Angels are real, there might be something or someone up there.??

??Robbie...??

?? Tell me you missed me.??

??Me? What for??? I missed you like fucking crazy. I had a panic attack without seeing you. You are a bastard for making me worry, you, Asshole Brantley.

??Well, you are right. You are here and that is all that matters.??

He took a huge breath like he had not been breathing properly all this time.

??Thank you for not wearing a perfume. I... I love it when I can smell just you.??

I knew that. Exactly why I did not spray even his favourite one.

I blushed bright red. ??I forgot.??

He only hummed.

I was happy to stay like this forever. I was dangling on the wall with him between my thighs. He had lost some weight, I thought. I rubbed my fingers on his hair and he looked up, smiling.

?? You are not sleeping well.??

?? You are not beside me. Of course I cannot sleep well.??

My heart soared. ??Is that the only reason???

Say yes, Big Baby.

??No.?? He smiled and gently lowered me to the ground, breaking my heart.

??Wait, right here. I will be back.?? He pressed a quick kiss on my lips and he left like a wind.

I felt cold when he took his warmth from me.

Why didn??t he touch me? Did he not miss me that much? I wanted him to... I was ready. Was he going to stop touching me? WHY DIDN??T HE TOUCH ME!!!

I tried to sit, stand... I paced trying not to scream.

Where the hell did he go? It had been six minutes. He should be with me.

I sat down on the sofa when I heard footsteps by the door. I wiped the sweat of my upper lips with my shirt sleeve.

I did not want to see the baby. It was... He... Was he going to put me through that?

I was uncomfortable. I did not want to hold her. I fisted my palm when I saw how happy and proud Robbie looked with a thick blanket in his hands. I knew what he had inside the blanket.

I did not want to see.

Please don??t make me hold your baby, Robbie. I cannot stand it.

He kneeled in front of me with his child firmly clutched to his chest.

Jealousy brewed inside the depth of my chest, seeing him holding her like that. Robbie used to hold me like that, when I fell asleep on him. I did not look at the baby at all. I kept staring on the pink blanket which had tiny angels with star wands.

??Hello, my sweet Baby Angel. This is the Angel I told you about.??

My eyes flew to Robbie. Did he just say that he talked to his baby about me? What was he doing?

??Hi, my beloved Angel. Meet my Baby Angel.??

No... No... No....

I gulped still not ready to take the baby off his hands. I did not want to hold her. It was his baby. His and Janice??s baby. I was not here to see her. I was here for him.

I...

Robbie did not mind that I did not extend my arms. He gently placed his hands on my lap and my hands, without my permission, slid under his precious lump. I felt the weight settling on me. Uhhh... What do I do!!!

Robbie was looking at me like I was the one who gave him a child. His eyes were filled with tears but his smile was so big that my heart soared. I had never seen him this happy ever.

He deserved it. He deserved happiness.

Was that why he was with Janice? Because I could not give him a baby? No matter how hard I loved him, no matter how much my mind wanted to give him anything he ever wanted, I could not make a life, for him. I could never bear his child inside my body.

I kissed Robbie??s forehead before I could stop myself. Tears left his eyes as he closed them. He sniffled. Then his smile got so big that I started smiling too. He pressed a kiss on my cheek.

The baby jerked in my arms.

Was she supposed to that? I tightened my hold around her. I was glad Robbie was holding her along with me. What if she fell?!

Her tiny eyes opened. Two beautiful steel grey orbs that filled all her face.

I could feel myself losing the grip of reality.

Steel eyes!

They had not yet settled me on yet and my heart started beating like crazy. What was I feeling?

I waited impatiently for her to see me.

And it did, finally.

Her eyes were the same as her dad??s. Did Robbie literally placed his eyes on her? And she was staring at me, judging me!

What did she see?

I am... I... Uhhh... Your daddy calls me his Angel.

Why did it feel like she was hearing what I was not saying?

I gulped nervously. What was she finding in me? Did she find the deepest secrets I carried in my soul?

The blanket covered her mouth when she moved her hands and I pushed it away with my forefinger. What if she could not breath?

She was amused by my finger that she tried to catch it. I let her.

And I felt that touch in my heart. I felt her squeezing the life out of me when her whole fist covered the tip of my forefinger.

I winced at the pain it brought me. She scowled with her fist firmly around my heart.

She was touching my heart, and I felt the literal pain.

Then everything came back to me like a force as she blinked.

One blink and I was let off the hook.

What the hell was that?

I chuckled unknowingly when she started pushing spit with her tongue making bubbles. That was so stinking cute.

She was adorable.

Her eyes wavered and settled on my forefinger. I smiled, but then she tried to put it in her mouth. I did know she was this strong. Her baby bird mouth stretching as she tried to gobble up my finger. I pulled my finger away, what if...

I thought she was coughing; it took me a moment to recognize that she was crying.

??Don??t cry, don??t cry.??

She wanted to suck on my fingers, I would let her. She could keep it with her if she wanted. I did not mind.

She settled right after rubbing my finger on her lips.

I felt that touch rub in my heart followed by a squeeze.

I leaned and pressed a kiss on her forehead. She was too beautiful to be crying.

Little Princess.

??Yes, she is.??

I forgot about Robbie.

That was a first. I never forgot about Robbie before.

??Yes, she is adorable. Yes, she is stinking cute pushing spit. Yes, she is too beautiful to cry and she is the little princess.?? Robbie laughed as I blushed. I did not know I was speaking aloud.

??She is hungry, Ace.?? Robbie stood up stumbling, leaving his baby secure in my hands. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Should he be holding Princess if he was going to faint?

??I will take her to Janice. You hold me.??

Robbie forced a smile. ??Oh, Janice is not feeding her. I do. She has a special formula.??

I frowned. I looked back to the baby who was scowling at my finger. What could I do? My fingers did not produce milk.

Princess was too young to drink anything other than breast milk. I looked questioningly at Robbie.

He was avoiding my gaze. A nurse came and stood beside Robbie.

??Sir, you should rest. We could feed her.??

??No, I will do it. She is my baby.??

??Sir, you cannot ignore your health. She needs you. Let us feed her and you please sleep. Remember when you fainted? It would...??

??He fainted??? I cut in. When? Why?

Nurse ignored Robbie and started ranting to me.

??I will help. If Robbie could feed her, so could !!??

??That would be much appreciated.?? The nurse looked relieved.

??And, you?? I gave a stern look to Robbie, ??sleep in front of me.??

Robbie gave me a tired chuckle. ??Yes, dear.??

Kelly, the nurse, took us to a private area with bed, a cradle and a sofa. Robbie had booked the whole floor. It was a good thing anyways. I did not want Princess to be cramped.

??Remove the shirt, Sir.?? She was talking to me.

??What???

??She is a new born, Sir. She needs body warmth. Since her other parent is...??

Robbie cleared his throat.

?? Are you okay with that??? Kelly asked suddenly.

What was happening!

??Of course, anything for her.?? I answered truthfully.

I gently placed Princess on nearby bed, already worried if the bed was soft enough.

She started to cough-cry. ??I am here, in a moment Princess.?? She settled down and stared at me.

I removed my shirt. Kelly placed a soft towel on my shoulders. She would inevitably spit some milk later, apparently. I was thankful when the nurse did not comment on my belly chain.

I was nervous. What if I...

I looked at Robbie in panic. He was lying down staring at me.

?? You would never hurt her.?? He was so confident. I was trembling with nerves.

Kelly was an excellent guide. She patiently showed me how to hold the baby and feed her. She stayed by my side all the time, telling important things to notice while taking care of a new-born.

Princess was drinking milk like she was starving. But soon she slowed down staring at my soul.

I looked at Robbie, nervously.

Her daddy was sleeping. God! he looked so tired.

When I turned back to Princess, she was sleeping with her tiny face squished on my chest.

This bundle in my arms was his precious joy. And how much I thought I would not want anything to do with this baby, if she made Robbie this happy, I would take care of her until Janice was okay.

I had everything under control.☐☐☐☐☐