Top Secret

LUKE

Apparently I contracted Ebola in jail.

Well, not actually. But based on the silence and the stares that greet me when I walk into the Alpha Delt house, you’d sure as shit think I was a carrier for a deadly disease.

Wary eyes track my movements as I enter the living room. Keaton is nowhere to be seen, but Judd, Tanner, and a few others sit on the couch, dropping their video game controllers to their laps at my entrance. In the dining room, Jako and Zimmer are bent over a stack of textbooks. Their heads snap up when they spot me, and Jako is immediately on his feet.

“Bailey!” he calls out in relief, and he’s the only person in the room who looks happy to see me. Once again, I wonder where Keaton is. I’ve been trying hard not to think about him. But now I have to.

He watched the cops push me into a cruiser. I feel nauseated every time I remember that.

“Hey,” I greet everyone, awkwardly shoving my hands in my back pockets.

“How was prison?” cracks Judd.

I give him a look that would make most people quail. But not Judd. I knew my housemates would ask questions, but it grates that Judd is the one to lead off the Inquisition. He’s sporting a black eye, too, which just makes him look more like the surly hooligan that he is.

“I wasn’t in prison,” I reply as evenly as I can manage. “I spent the night in holding.”

“Same diff.”

“No, not the same at all.” My stiff legs carry me to the center of the living room. I sweep my gaze over the guys on the couch and then the rest of the bodies that are slowly filling the room. “I’ve got an announcement to make,” I tell everyone.

“Oh, there is absolutely no need,” Judd taunts. He stands up and moves toward me so that we’re facing off in front of the coffee table. “We know far too much about you already.” He glances around. “There’s no way you’re going to be president.”

Our current president appears at my side, rolling his eyes. “Keller,” Reed chastises. “Enough.”

Judd’s lip curls. “Are you serious? Your replacement just got arrested, Reedsy!”

“And released,” I interject. “The charges will be dismissed. I didn’t steal anything.”

“You stole plenty,” Judd drawls. “You’re disgusting.”

“And you don’t know what the hell you’re saying,” I growl. “On Friday when I got back from a run, Jako let me know that my older brother Joe came by.”

Jako steps forward with a nod. “Right, but—”

“I was worried,” I press on, “because Joe did time for breaking and entering a while back. So I went upstairs to investigate and discovered he stole some cash from my room. At the time I thought it was just the cash. But as it turns out, he…” I draw another breath. “He also stole my Darby ID.” Shame and disgust twist my stomach into knots. “And then he used that ID to steal some computers from the school.”

“Shit,” Jako says quietly.

“Seriously?” Judd is having none of it. “That’s supposed to make us feel better?” He turns to Reed. “He just admitted to letting a convicted felon roam around unaccompanied in our house!”

Jako speaks up again, his tone hard. “No, I did that. I let Luke’s brother into the house, so anything he took from us is on me.”

“No, it’s not,” I say firmly. “It’s on me.”

“Damn right,” Judd says viciously. “I am fucking done with this. I vote to impeach the cocksucker in chief—”

“Judd,” Reed snaps.

“Again with this shit?” Zimmer says from right behind me. “How many chances does he get, Reed? Muzzle his bullshit or I am fucking done, too.”

My poor, tired brain is trying to keep up. Although “cocksucker” is one of Judd’s favorite words. It sounds like he knows…

“Hey,” a stiff voice says from the stairs.

I turn my head, and Keaton is right there, walking toward me. His hazel eyes conduct a quick head-to-toe tour of me, as if he’s assessing me for damage.

But, Christ, all the damage is his. Keaton’s lip is split. There are deep circles under his eyes, and there’s a tightness in his expression that I have never seen before.

“Shut it, Judd,” Keaton says now. “If anyone is getting tossed out of Alpha Delt, it’s you.”

“Yeah?” The asshole takes a step toward Keaton. “Let’s have that vote. It might not turn out the way you think. Are you even gonna show up and participate? Or will you pussy out again and let Bailey call the shots?”

Keaton pales, and everyone else seems to brace himself. Until Tanner steps between Judd and Keaton, keeping the two of them apart. “Back to your corners.”

I suck in a breath. What is happening right now?

“Un-fucking-called for,” Keaton growls.

“I gotta go upstairs,” I mutter. Not only do I need to wash the smell of loser off my body, but I’m too tired to think. If Judd mouths off one more time I’m gonna punch him for sure. And then I really will get thrown out of Alpha Delt. Just like he hopes. I turn toward the stairs, maneuvering past Reed and Zimmer.

“Your fuck buddy will be right up, I’m sure,” Judd chirps.

I freeze as silence descends on us. But then I have to turn around. And sure enough, everyone is watching me, wondering what I’ll say.

I’m too shocked to speak. Because…everyone knows? Jesus Christ. When did that happen? And why? Keaton could’ve come up with a million excuses as to why we were together when we pulled up in that car. I mean, obviously he revealed the truth about our weekend to the lawyer, because he went on the record as my official alibi.

But he told the fraternity?

Keaton’s is the last face I check. He’s pale, his mouth a hard line. When he catches me look at him, he closes his eyes.

Oh my fucking god.

“I’m sorry,” he grinds out.

“Yeah, I’m sure you are,” I mumble. I’m sure he’s sorry he ever met me at all.

Keaton flinches, but I don’t know if it’s because of my words, or because there’s someone pounding on the front door right now.

“Luke Bailey!” shrieks a voice from the other side of the six-panel oak door. “Someone help me!”

I’m across the foyer and yanking open the door in a huge hurry. “Mom,” I say gruffly as soon as I see her tear-stained face. “Calm down.”

She tries to push past me into the house, but I tighten my grip on the door, keeping her outside. “Aren’t you going to let me in?” she sobs.

“Not necessary,” I say in a low voice. “Why are you here?”

“Lukey! You need to come home right now! They took Joey!”

“When?”

“Just now! Those pigs showed up and accused him of stealing computers or something,” she sobs. “They arrested him and took him away! We need to go and get him out. You have to post bail—”

“No,” I ease the door closed behind me so that we’re alone on the stoop.

“W-what?” Her voice trembles, and she’s sniffling repeatedly. “W-what do you mean, no? He’s your brother. He needs help.”

“Yes, he needs help,” I agree. “But it’s not going to come from me, Mom. Those computers he stole? He tried to blame the theft on me.”

As always, my mother passionately comes to Joe’s defense. “You’re wrong. Joey would never do that!”

“He would, and he did.” Bitterness coats my throat. “He stole my ID and broke into my school, Mom. And then he let me take the rap for it.” Her voice isn’t the only voice that’s shaking. “I-I spent the night in lock-up. Do you…Christ…do you know how demoralizing that was?”

“We need to post Joey’s bail,” she says without acknowledging a word I’ve said. “It’s only seven hundred and fifty dollars! And then we have to work on the lawyer…”

“No,” I repeat, angrily this time. “I won’t be posting his bail. In fact, if for some reason the justice system fails and he isn’t thrown back in prison for this, I’ll be filing a restraining order against him.” I take a breath. “I never want to lay eyes on Joe Bailey again.”

There’s a short, shocked silence.

When she speaks again, I don’t expect what comes out.

“You ungrateful little shit,” my mother growls. “Do you realize how much he’s done for you! How much we’ve both done for you! I gave you life—”

My jaw drops. “Really? You’re going there, are you?”

“And now you have the chance to save your brother’s life and you’re deserting him? You’re just going to let him rot in jail?” Her sobs grow louder. “Who are you! You’re not my son! My son would never do something like this! I swear to God, Luke, if you do this you’re not my son anymore!”

I feel perfectly hollow inside as she says this. She’s never gone with the nuclear option before, but I feel strangely calm, anyway. Because we were always going to end up here.

“Okay,” I finally whisper.

Mom’s sobs literally cut off mid-wail. “Okay?” she says, standing up straighter. “You’ll post bail?”

“No.” I try to swallow the enormous lump in my throat. I fail. “Okay, then I guess you and I are done. Write me out of the will, Ma.” My laugh is brittle.

“You little shit,” she hisses. “No loyalty. Just like your father.”

“Ma,” I gasp, the insult catching me completely off guard. It’s the deepest cut she’s ever given me. My whole life she’s referred to him as “that cruel man who did us a favor when he left.”

“It’s true,” she says. “I’m sure you’ll wind up as lonely as he is.”

That’s not a thing that mothers are supposed to wish for their sons. Then again, when has this woman ever been a mother to me? But even knowing that, a wave of sorrow crests over me just the same. This is really it, then. The last conversation we’ll share. I ought to feel relieved, but I’m gutted instead.

Sucking in a breath, I take a step back toward the door. As I turn around, I don’t miss the sight of faces in the window. People are watching my mother cast me out of her life, like they’d watch a fight at the hockey game.

I open the door and step inside. Without another word to the woman who gave birth to me, I close the door again and lock it. Then I bolt up the stairs—all of them—and escape to my room.

The shower waits for me. I turn the taps to a scalding temperature and shed my clothes.

Too bad shame doesn’t wash off.

“Bailey.”

Keaton’s gruff voice reaches me as I pull on a clean T-shirt. He’s in the doorway, concern written all over his handsome face.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I don’t know. Does it matter?” The whole frat just witnessed my twenty-four-hour lifesplosion. I’m basically numb by now.

He steps forward, as if to hug me. But I just can’t right now. I take an awkward step to the side and bend over my desk, rifling through my papers. “How much did the lawyer cost? I need to set up a payment plan with your dad.”

“There won’t be any payment plan,” he says, letting his irritation out.

“Yeah, there will be. I don’t want your dad rescuing me. I don’t want anyone rescuing me.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you. It wasn’t even twenty-four hours ago when I pointed out to you that Alpha Delt would hate this.” I make a motion between his body and mine. “I guess I called that one.”

“They don’t matter,” he says quickly.

“At all?”

He swallows hard. “Whatever. I don’t care.”

“But maybe I do.”

“You do not,” he spits. “That’s a cop-out. You’re just looking for an excuse not to step out of your comfort zone! Shit got ugly and you bailed on me again.”

“How is this a surprise to you? I don’t like to owe people. You know this. I hate feeling like an ungrateful little bitch.”

“So don’t be one!” he roars. “And I’m not talking about money. That’s beyond your control. When it comes to love, you’re a fucking miser. Like it would kill you to admit that you care.”

It would kill me, though. Because when I look at Keaton Hayworth III, I see the kind of man who can never be mine. Whatever he thinks he sees in me will eventually get old. One day soon he’ll wake up and wonder what the hell he’s doing with a punk who nobody else ever bothered to love. His obsession will fade. Maybe it’s because he gets sick of my bullshit. Or maybe another, badder bad boy catches his eye.

Either way, we were never going to last. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.

“It was just a hookup, Keaton,” I say quietly.

“It wasn’t.”

“Yeah? When did you change the rules? Is this like the election all over again? You bend the regulations, and I fall in line?”

His neck gets instantly red. “You don’t get to keep throwing that mistake in my face!”

“You make a lot of mistakes, apparently. I was the biggest one. Ask anyone downstairs. Go on.”

He blinks, his eyes red. Then he lifts his aristocratic chin a couple of degrees. And he leaves my room.