To Hell & Back

An annoying voice woke me up with, “Hey, bitch! Pee break, three minutes.”

Fuck that nightmare, I decided, groggily sitting up. Fuck nightmares, memories, dreams, and everything else.

The nightmare had started appearing soon after my father had done a very painful procedure, inserting magical wards into my body. The charm of amnesia he used on me to make me forget the incident wasn’t strong enough to make me forget the incident entirely, but it warped the memory, turning it into a nightmare that changed with every recurrence.

Much like the charm my mother had hit me with before she died, it was ever so slowly wearing off. One day I hoped to be able to remember the actual incident, assuming the incident was real, of course. It wouldn’t be the first memory that turned out to be false. The older I got, the more the nightmare changed, the more I lost confidence in it being real.

Deciding to ignore it and move on, I sat up. I looked at the man outside the cage, pushed aside the gag I found in my mouth, swallowed, and said, “What?”

“Letting you out to pee. I don’t want to smell that, and I ain’t cleaning it up, so you got three minutes. If you take longer than that, I come in after you. You do not want that,” he warned.

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 67

Bet he sure wants that. Guess they’re done being friendly, I thought tiredly. I could just try and take him, but I feel like shit. Do I chance it and let him come in after me, or… or do I do something stupid and experimental, but also potentially really awesome and effective…

I licked my lips and nodded to the man, my mind racing with my choices. I was ravenously hungry and very tired, but also very ready to be out of this place. I did not want to go back into a partially conscious state, like I had been in for who knows how long. I wouldn’t be able to cast naturally, but I also didn’t want to bleed myself to power anything since I had lost so much blood already, so I needed to get creative.

Well, it isn’t like my blood should have much power in it… But never fret, dear Staysa, we have a plan, I thought to myself, trying to cheer myself up. A plan that doesn’t involve trying to fend off a grown man while I’m suffering from… from whatever happened to me.

I got up and followed him, stumbling my way into the bathroom he lead me to. After closing and locking the door, I quickly relieved myself, then stumbled my way over to the cabinet above the sink and opened it up, roughly rummaging through the contents. My vision was shifty, my head and eyes ached, and my coordination was shot. I glanced at the mirror and winced: the pattern of bruises made it look like someone hit the side of my face with a pipe repeatedly, and blood had dried going down the side of my face from a head wound that was still tender to the touch.

Someone beat me up… Right, not important, get back to work, Stas. What have we got… Just need something long and thinnish, I guess, I thought, shuffling through the bathroom’s cabinet. It doesn’t need to be too long... I could even use my finger if I had to, but let’s be serious, fuck that. No, I’ll find a tool. Tweezers, toothpaste, toothbrush… What’s this? Perfect.

I picked up my prize, a plastic, travel toothbrush holder, and stared at it, frowning as I considered my plan. The longer I was awake, the more I didn’t want to fight my captor head on, but I really didn’t like the idea I had come up with. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves, took the gag out of my mouth, and put one end of the toothbrush holder in my mouth, coating it with as much saliva as possible.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. Soooo God-be-damned gross, I moaned inwardly. I took another deep breath, telling myself, Come on Stas, you need a powerful catalyst. This should work just fine. This has to work. You’re not going to do something like this and not have it work. Virgin’s blood is supposed to work like… like something that works really well. It’s not like you have many choices, because so what if you take out the first guy, how many more guys are there between here and the way out?

I looked at the little plastic tube again and frowned, twirling it in my fingers for a moment. My nerves were pretty fried, but I took off my pants and got ready as best as I could. I looked at the tube and wondered if this was even a good way to go about this.

OK, Stas, get it together. You’re stalling, I thought, gritting my teeth for a moment before putting my gag back in. You’ve been hurt a hell of a lot worse… Just take it kinda slow at first and then push, grit your teeth, voilà, done. Every girl does it one way or another, right? Sure, some have some hot guy or girl they like doing it, some are drunk or high, but not everything in life goes perfectly…

I put the edge of the little plastic tube between my legs, edged it up close, and— BANG! BANG! I startled by someone knocking hard on the door. I jerked sharply, shoving the tube inside myself and breaking my hymen in one quick, painful thrust. The shock of the pain and noise made me lose my balance. I fell backwards onto my ass and kicked the toilet by accident. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed into my gag. Tears welled up as I screamed into my gag again.

Fffffuck, that could have gone better if I’m entirely honest, I thought to myself. Deep breath... deep breath…

“One minute, chica!” came from the guy outside. “Hurry the fuck up, you dumb cunt!”

Yeah, fuck you, buddy, I thought, picturing his demise in my head. Hope you get hit by a fucking bus. OK, ignore the pain, collect the harvest…

I took the tube out of me, carefully wiped the blood off onto my pants, then tossed the tube into the trash. I pulled up my pants, took one step, and winced from sharp pains in my foot and crotch. Looking down, I saw my toenail bent backwards and a mess of blood covering my foot. I was somewhat grateful for my semi-dazed state, as I had a feeling this situation would hurt a lot more if I was fully alert.

Great start to the escape, Staysa. Now you’re limping. That’ll help, I thought with a sigh. But I’ve got blood… so I can… What am I going to cast?

My captor didn’t seem to notice my limp as I walked out, or perhaps he just didn’t care. Each step hurt like hell. With a sigh, I curled up on the floor inside the cage and hoped to get the chance I needed to use the blood I had collected. I tried to think about different possibilities the blood held for me. I tried to think about what exact spell or spells I could use, but instead I just lost consciousness again.