SWNOVELS Tiny Dark Deeds: Chapter 47
Dorian
“Good evening, gentlemen.” LJ came up behind me, and when the two security guys watching over me noticed, they nodded at him. They didn’t leave, but they did give us space when my god dad came over. LJ tossed the blanket he had at me. “So your parents don’t kill me for allowing their kid to get frostbite on my watch.”
I frowned at the thing, warm enough in front of the firepit I’d been stationed at for more than two hours. I’d gone after Noa earlier today, but she hadn’t wanted to talk, and the irony of that wasn’t lost on me. I lifted the blanket. “I’m not cold.”
“Like hell.” Refusing to take it back, my god dad joined me on the cold lawn furniture. His wool coat kept him warm enough, I supposed, and I wasn’t so bad in my coat. I’d actually worn one tonight. His head cocked. “Anyway, it’s not from me.”
He pointed inside the cabin, Billie waving at us both through the glass door.
Not wanting to make her unhappy, I did put it on, and it did help, along with the fire in the pit. The fire there was probably the only reason I didn’t have frostbite. I’d been putting to good use all that wood I’d cut.
I put my hands near the flames, and LJ did too.
“I noticed you and Sloane aren’t talking much,” he said, frowning. “Barely even looked at each other at dinner.”
She’d ended up taking hers upstairs in the end, saying she wasn’t feeling great, and LJ and Billie were too nice to question that.
I shrugged, and LJ smiled.
“What’s going on, kid?”
What was going on was I’d managed to fuck things up worse than I already had. I rubbed my mouth. “We’re having issues communicating.”
“Well, that’s evident.” He laughed. He kicked my shoe with his boot. “What’s the issue?”
I had no words for him and was annoyed with myself for it. I just wasn’t good at this talking shit.
LJ sighed. “I suppose that’s good you have nothing to say because you should probably be talking to her anyway?” His question had me looking up. He nodded. “I know you know she needs you right now.”
That was the thing. I didn’t think she did. I rubbed my hands. “I keep fucking up shit with her. I do, and she runs from me, and…” I forced out a breath. “I make things worse. Always make things worse.”
“Well, you’re young so that’s okay.” He smiled. “You only got a few years left of that shit, so if I were you, I’d be taking advantage.”
Sounding a lot like my father, I laughed, rubbing my arm.
He bumped me with his shoulder. “Go upstairs and talk to her. Whatever is going on won’t just work itself out. You gotta be the one to take the first step.”
I rubbed my bad knuckles. “She didn’t trust me to take care of her. She didn’t come to me about everything with my grandpa, and it’s taking everything in me to just sit here after what he did to her.” I rocked back and forth. “I want to kill him, LJ. I want him to bleed out while I watch.”
I probably sounded evil saying these things, dark, and I was surprised by the look LJ gave me. It wasn’t one of judgment. He put his arm around me. “Sounds to me like Sloane may have saved you from that.” He nodded. “The mental burden of that?”
He was right, of course, completely right. “I can protect her.”
“I’m sure she knows that.” He rubbed my arm. “Which is why you’re here with her and not in a fight you shouldn’t be. We’re handling your grandfather, and the best thing Sloane could have done was keep you out of all that. I think we all know what that summer with your grandfather did to you. He manipulated you, and you did things you wouldn’t normally do.”
I was cold again, chilly.
“She’s here with you now, bud,” LJ continued. “She is and she chose that, and if that doesn’t mean she feels safe with you, I don’t know what does.”
My heart lurched, my chest tight. “I always goof shit up with her.” I swallowed. “I’m not good enough for her.”
“Now, I know you know that’s not true.” Pulling back, he tapped my arm. “And don’t prove yourself right by thinking it. Sloane did choose you, so why not have faith in that choice? She believes in you, so why don’t you?”
I didn’t know why. Maybe because I’d never known anyone like her, someone so patient, strong. I did do things wrong repeatedly, but she always took me back. I shook my head. “I just want to protect her. Even if it’s from me, I want to.”
“Mmm. So you’re falling on the sword, I see.” He smirked. “How’s that working for you?”
“Completely shitty,” I said, laughing when he did. I shook my head. “You’re really good at this talking stuff, by the way.” My god dad and I had never really had heart-to-hearts, but that had mostly to do with how busy he was. I didn’t see him a lot, but when I did, things were really easy like this. It was nice.
He nudged me. “Thanks, kid. It’s nice to have a place to use them with you boys and Bow. Billie and I tried for a while to have kids. Just wasn’t in the cards for us, I guess.”
He sounded more at peace than sad about that, but I was sure he was disappointed. LJ had a big family, and his sisters all had kids. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Billie and I have our hands full enough with you lot.” He laughed. “And we’ve also gotten to travel and just live life. It’s been good, nice.”
He would have made a good dad, though. A brilliant one.
“And who knows, maybe one day we’ll foster or something.” He shrugged, smiling a little. “If the timing is right, you never known what could happen.”
My own smile lifted right. “You’d be great at it. You and Billie.”
“Thanks for saying that, but really, we’re good. Happy.” And he did seem to be, at peace. He sat back. “Jax, Knight, Ramses, and your dad happened to have terrific kids. Between that along with my own siblings’ kids, I can’t call myself anything but the luckiest man on earth. I am lucky. I get to live the life of my dreams with the woman I love. What else could I asked for?”
When he said it like that, it sounded like he didn’t have to ask for anything else. That he truly had it all.
“You go fix things with yours then, yeah?” he stated, my mouth parting. He smiled. “Come on. It’s obvious.”
His phone rang just then, and upon checking it, he got up. He gave me a hug before saying he’d take the call inside, and I didn’t question it. He’d been getting calls all day, but I hadn’t asked him about any of them. Mostly because I knew what they were about. It was obvious he’d been talking to my parents on more than one call.
My dad.
I had to trust that they were taking care of things, and after LJ got up, I did too. Sloane may have taken me out of the fight, but that didn’t make my new position any less important. I did need to protect her, and I was going to.
I just hoped she’d still let me.