SWNOVELS Tiny Dark Deeds: Chapter 24
Dorian
“I have to say, Dorian, I wasn’t quite sure where we’d be at this point with our sessions,” Dr. Singh said. “But I’m happy to say it’s a good place. A great place.”
I panned away from the downtown office window, snow flurries on the other side. It was the first snow of the season.
Dr. Singh smiled at me. “In fact, I’m comfortable in saying the frequency at which we hold our sessions can definitely be reduced. I’m happy to talk to your parents about that if that’s what you’d like, as well as your progress.”
I was eighteen, and technically, my parents couldn’t make me go to therapy. The proposal had merely been strongly suggested by my parents. Basically, that meant I had to, and though Dr. Singh couldn’t share the details of them, she was allowed to tell my parents general things if I gave her permission. She was well aware my parents were making me see her. They’d booked the fucking appointments.
She closed her notebook. “You’ve been doing so well, and I’m happy to talk to them. It’s really amazing how far you’ve come in such little time.”
Had it only been a month or so since we’d really started diving deep into these sessions?
Had it only been a month or so since she’d been back?
I glanced out the window again, trees covered in light snow. “I’d like that. And you can talk to them. That’s fine.” I knew she’d be general about it and always had since I’d been seeing her.
“Of course, we’re not done here.” Our gazes clashed when I looked at her. She placed her hands on her notebook. “I’m merely going to suggest to them that you be allowed to be in charge of your own care.” Her head tilted. “I think you’ve realized how important it is and do feel you’ll make the right decision as far as the frequency of our sessions go.”
This was a test the good doctor was giving to me, and I was happy to say I was about to fucking pass that shit. I smiled. “I want to get keep seeing you, and regularly this time.”
It’d been sporadic before, and I’d been bad about it.
“Good.” Her legs crossed, her glasses above her head. “I worried about all the changes in your life recently, but you seem to be doing so well with them. Actually, you’ve been thriving despite them, and it’s so good to know things are going so well with Noa.”
Noa…
“She’s bringing out the best in you.” She leaned forward. “And maybe you should consider talking with her about the summer with your grandfather. You said you haven’t yet. It might be time, I think.”
My attention broke away from the window. It’d wandered again. I was thinking about what I was going to do once I got out today. How I was going to go see Noa. I swallowed. “Doc?”
“You know how important trust is, Dorian, and you have mentioned it’s been an issue with the two of you before.”
It had, but it was no fault of hers. I’d given her reasons.
“I think you should trust her to be able to handle what happened that summer with your grandfather.” The doctor pulled her glasses down, a tight concern on her face. “And well, what happened after.”
My legs crossed, they were rocking at this point, restless. What had happened after had been fucked and had ended with my grandfather on the floor.
I’d poisoned him.
“I know it’s hard, but me suggesting this is for you. It’s your journey. Your healing, and you need to be able to talk about this with her like you do with me, your parents, and your friends. You need to let Noa in, Dorian. You said you care about her, and it’ll only help you.”
But that was the thing. I didn’t just care about Noa. I loved her, and I was aware of that fact just as much as I was something else.
I hadn’t been the only one to say it.
She’d said she always had, always, but something had obviously held her back from saying it before. The potential reasons why scared me, and I thought a lot about that after my session with Dr. Singh. Things had been going well with Sloane, and in fact so well I forgot sometimes. I forgot she hadn’t told me she loved me at first, and the reasons why now seemed moot. Especially after that day in the weight room. I’d gone in there to wear my fucking body out after our tense conversation, and after she’d come in, everything had changed. She did love me.
The rest didn’t fucking matter.
Of course, it did matter. There had been a reason why she’d hesitated the first time I’d told her, but it was easy not to think about it. Add that to the fact that I wasn’t ready to talk about that summer with my grandfather in general, and what Dr. Singh asked me seemed impossible. I wasn’t ready to talk about it, but that had nothing to do with not trusting Sloane. I still had fucking issues, my own shit and things I still had to work through.
Sloane initially keeping her love secret from me only further made me want to bury that summer with my grandfather (and what had happened after) deep in my therapist’s office. She’d already been gun-shy about me.
This shit was just hard.
It was also the reason I was still seeing my fucking therapist, and I tucked our latest session away when I pulled up to the Mallick house. A few straggling paparazzi were still at the gate, mostly local press. Since there were fewer prying eyes, the security detail had significantly gone down. There was only one at the gate today.
It was really refreshing, and I knew it was for the Mallick family too. I knew it was for Sloane because that shit had gotten annoying in the rough of it.
There weren’t constantly people around us now, and the press were starting to forget things too. Sloane and her brother and the ordeal from mere weeks ago were starting to fade away in the eyes of the press, and everyone on the other side of it was starting to move on too.
I saw that in the backyard.
I came up on the throes of a race once I got out of my car, smirking when I got to the mini gate that separated the garage from the yard. Thatcher, Bow, and Bru were in a huddle beneath snow flurries, Wolf, Sloane, and Wells in front of them. Wolf and Sloane were hunkered down, a knee to the earth in a pair of windbreakers, and Wells stood ahead of them.
Here we go again.
Coming to find them all this way wasn’t uncommon, and I unlatched the gate, coming inside. I strode over as Wells counted Wolf and Sloane off.
“Three. Two. One…” Wells smirked, grinning. My buddy had a fucking down coat on with a furry collar like he was on a damn runaway. His tongue out, he dropped his arm. “Let’s get it.”
Wolf and Sloane shot off in a run, and I sprinted, happy for the person who made fucking leggings. They made my girl’s ass look ridiculous, and I got a nice little shot after she took off after my boy. Wolf got ahead of her pretty quick, and being an asshole started jogging backward.
“Come on, little,” he called. He raised his hands. “Why the fuck we been training?”
Sloane had started going with Wolf and me in the morning during our sprints. We rose at the crack of dawn to stay loose. We both played other sports in the spring season, Wells and Thatcher too.
Sloane claimed she was getting up with us just to hang out, but these little sprinting exercises between the two of them had started not long after that. It seemed her competitive spirit matched her twin’s.
“You fucking asshole!” she roared, pumping her wiry little arms. She looked like a not-so-fast gazelle, and it’d take her a bit if she really wanted to keep up with Wolf. He was one of the fastest motherfuckers on our team, and those long-ass legs of his only helped.
Chuckling, I caught up with the group who started walking after them. Bow, Thatcher, and Bru clapped and cheered after the two, and when I got to them, I did the same.
“They really at this shit again?” I asked, dropping arms over Bow and Thatch. Wolf passed the flag that signaled the end of the race, the little fighter a good length behind him, and I cringed.
“We tried to talk her out of it,” Bow said, cringing too. She clapped hard. “Woohoo! Good job, Sloane!”
Thatcher and I laughed, but I forced myself to stop once Sloane finished the race too. She’d fucking kick my ass if she caught me laughing.
“You fucking cheat.” Sloane shot her finger at Wolf as the three of us made our way over. Wells caught up too, joining us all. Sloane frowned at Wolf. “You’re like on ‘roids or something.”
The little fighter was having a hard time catching her breath. She had her head basically between her legs when we all got there, and I shot my shoulder into Wolf. He could have stood to go a little easier on her.
This only made him chuckle louder, roaring at this point. He tucked his hands under his arms. “I’m not on steroids. It’s called genetics, and you got the same ones, so really, you got no excuse.”
They did both come from a family of runners. Both Ramses and Brielle jogged too and actually went out well before we did in the morning.
“Whatever,” she said, but I managed to distract her when I picked her up. I tossed her over my shoulder, and she squealed. “Dorian! Fuck! Put me down. What the fuck?”
Oh, I’d fuck her all right. Nice and good before the night was over. We’d both been growing accustomed to me sneaking into her room after dark.
Things really had been good between us, nice. They’d been easy and getting a handful of my girl’s ass was a great release after spilling my heart out to my therapist for an hour.
When I did put her down, I grabbed her face. “Hey.”
“Hi.” She could never stay mad at me, and we clacked teeth when I bit her juicy bottom lip. She held on while I wrapped arms around her head then proceeded to make out with her in front of, well, any fucker who wanted to watch. This got groans from everyone but Bow who proceeded to shyly look away, and my middle finger was for the peanut gallery around her.
Like clockwork, Sloane’s came out too for my boys. Her brother Bru had started playing on his phone, so the finger was definitely for Wolf, Wells, and Thatcher.
I had my tongue down her throat when my buddies decided to give up. They hit me on the back before starting their own race, which consisted of Wells climbing on Wolf’s back while Thatcher tried his hand at beating him. It was enough to make Sloane and me pull away from each other to watch that stupid shit. Thatcher lost, of course, but it didn’t stop them all from dicking around.
“How was your session?” Having Sloane’s focus on me was a place I always loved to be, her arms around my waist, her legging-covered ass under my hands. She grinned. “Everything go okay today?”
She knew about my sessions, and I was very open with her about them. I just didn’t go into details, but she never expected me to. No pressure.
Things had been so fucking cool with us, which really made me consider talking to her about what Dr. Singh had advised. I did trust Sloane, but I also had my own shit. I rubbed her ass. “Great. Dr. Singh’s actually going to talk to my parents and suggest to them I take over the decisions regarding my own care. She even wants to reduce our sessions. Says I’ve been doing well.”
Her brow raised, and my heart fucking stopped when she smiled at me. She looked like a proud fucking parent, and I was the good boy. It made me want to please her for days, forever. Her smile widened. “Whoa, that’s amazing, Dorian.”
It was pretty amazing, and when I said as much, she hit me in the back.
“I take that back.” She pulled away, and I tugged her back. She laughed. “No, seriously. I’m proud of you. I know it’s not easy for you.”
It wasn’t easy, opening up to anyone not easy. I wet my lips. “She also wants me to talk to you about something.”
By the hand, I guided her away from our circle of friends and family a bit. Bru was in the race now, and he didn’t appear to be as closed off as he had been. We all had gotten along before this, and though he wasn’t trying to have long-ass conversations with me, we were civil.
I think we were both trying for his sister’s benefit, and no one really noticed when I took Sloane off to the side.
“Okay,” she said, her hands cold. Neither of us were wearing gloves, so I put her hands under my jacket to warm us both. “Everything okay?”
That was a tricky question. I mean, everything was okay in the technical sense, and my grandfather had kept his promise to keep his distance. He hadn’t interfered in any of our lives, and it was like things were normal again.
I didn’t even know if he was still in town.
I didn’t care, and I think I wasn’t the only one. It hadn’t mattered. We’d all been able to find some peace after all that and dredging up all this shit right now… shit about my past with him felt like a step in the wrong direction. My jaw clicked. “Everything is good, but she does want me to talk to you about something. It’s about something that happened. Something in the past.”
She was silent now, her breath coming in short puffs. Her hands warmed against my abs and shot blood straight to other places. Places that had me wanting to kick this conversation. She blinked. “Is it bad?”
It was fucking terrible, all of it. I couldn’t believe I’d gone to that fucker about Charlie and everything that had happened after was just more fucked. I forced out a breath. “It’s not good, and if I’m being honest, I really don’t want to talk about it.”
In fact, my hands were fucking shaking, and next thing I knew, she was pulling hers out. She gripped my jacket. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to tell me. Especially if that’s between you and your therapist.”
How the fuck had I found this girl?
“I want to tell you.” I took her hands. “I want to tell you everything, but it’s hard, you know?”
“Yeah.”
I squeezed her hands. “I will tell you. I will, but I just need more time to be comfortable with it. I just want you to know there is something, but me not being able to talk about it has nothing to do with you.”
This felt like a step in the right direction. It also opened the door and gave my mind time to wrap around actually telling her.
“Because I’m perfect, right?” She slid her arms around my neck, and I nodded. She was perfect.
“Right. It’s just shit I’ve got to work through, and I will, but I just wanted you to know there is something. There is, but I will tell you.” And I would when I was ready.
I thought she’d have something to say about that, but all she ended up doing was taking my face and kissing me. I picked her up, hugging her, and I got a slap on the head that made me whirl around and nearly deck one of my friends.
“Parents,” edged out of Wells’s mouth just in time for me to spot Brielle coming out on the veranda. I didn’t think either her or my god dad had issues with me seeing their daughter, but that didn’t mean they wanted it in their faces. Basically, Sloane and I were keeping what we had on the DL, but I did keep my hand in hers when Brielle poked her head out of the glass veranda.
“Dinner’s in ten minutes, so whoever is staying better be at the table in five.” She eyed all of us. She pointed. “I mean it. Your butt’s not in the seat, no food.”
She let the door close behind her, a smile on her lips, and it was rare not to see her with one these days. Hell, who wasn’t smiling since Sloane had come back?
It was especially nice to see that on Ramses and Brielle lately. They made accommodations in both their schedules to be around, around for Sloane, Bru, and Wolf. They were home every night and available each morning, weekends free and clear. It killed Wolf’s hookup social life, but who was that fucker kidding?
He’d been smiling too.
He even went right after his mom after she came to get us, hugging her. There’d been periods in the past where Wolf definitely knocked heads with his parents, but those days seemed to be long gone. He appeared to be trying to get the jump on his seat at the table, and out of nowhere, Thatcher yelled after them.
“Sure thing, Mama Bri,” he called, shocking the hell out of us all. He’d been grounded and strictly told to be home before dark. He extended his arms at us. “What? You didn’t hear your boy’s no longer grounded!”
This had Wolf rerouting back down the stairs. He picked Thatch up and yelled, “Hell, yeah,” before smacking Thatcher’s ass repeatedly. Wells joined in when he punched at the rest of Thatcher. Fucking jokers.
Even still, I joined in too, and it seemed things really were getting back to normal.
Again, it was nice.