Through The Storm

Rowida was not sure what she could do after the week of rest they allowed her to have. She didn’t want to travel to the surface world in her state. She still couldn’t feel anything properly, as if something was missing from everything she tasted and did.

The sensation of missing something grew along her journey as if it settled on her body like a blanket, and recently, it was governing all her feelings and emotions.

Yesterday, when she arrived at Beimini, they offered her a feast of a meal, nothing like foraging on fruits and the occasional rodent which fell in her way. But even though the food filled her stomach and renewed her strength, it lacked in taste and texture. She knew the different items and remembered their taste from the past, and something was missing in all of them.

If she had the emotion, she would have cried, but she was empty, and she reasoned along her long journey maybe she needed to experience things to the extreme to actually feel them.

She sighed as she put on her clothes and left the room they gave her. Even though she was not compelled anymore to walk on, she still needed to walk, it was an essential part of her routine for so long, and she needed it, at least to think on her next step.

Rowida walked out of the building and was astounded by the number of pregnant women as well as women holding small children and walking with toddlers around the place; there was not a single man in sight.

The woman who received her yesterday, told her she was Mariah, and as Master Dalmatius was responsible for the other half of Beimini, she was responsible for this part; if Rowida was her old self she would have entertained a line of thought about the vast difference between the two people, laughing and enjoying the irony of it, but she was not, she just felt indifferent. But she decided to pursue the woman anyway, maybe talking to her would ease the feeling of loss which controlled her entire being.

As she crossed the city’s main square, she had at least a dozen small children running, laughing and giggling around her. None of them cared for her weather roughened features or the state of her clothes. They just gave her innocent smiles of admiration as they passed around her.

She followed them with her eyes, a strange feeling stirring inside of her, and for the next minutes, she just stood, watching this particular group of children play around the square.

A soft tap to her shoulder brought her from her trance state. She turned fast to find Mariah smiling softly at her. “You like children?”

“Never really thought about them.” Rowida turned again to watch the children play chase. “I guess I was too busy trying to prove myself to have ever thought of them.”

“They are a treasure every woman should at least experience once.” Mariah touched Rowida’s shoulder gently. “Maybe when you will be on the topside, you might consider having one.”

Rowida looked intently at the woman, but her senses for the desires of others, went with her aura, and she couldn’t read Mariah at all.

“This group is special though.” Mariah pointed to the playing children. “They are all orphans, their mothers passed away during childbirth.”

Again, a strange sensation moved deep inside Rowida. If she was back to her old self, she would have called it warmth, now, it was just a vague unknown sensation. “Who cares for them then?” she asked.

“All of us.” Mariah led Rowida towards the children. “Just the lightest of touches to their souls, and they give you a flood of love, asking nothing in return but the least of your attention.”

A boy played with a twig on the ground, drawing curving lines and circles. He was so deep in his art, he didn’t notice either woman approaching him.

“Ethan.” Mariah touched his head softly, and the boy turned to give her a radiant smile. “What are you doing today?”

“Hello, Mrs. Mariah.” Ethan raised his head with a smile “I am drawing a great city. It is called Dreamlandia,” he said.

Something ignited in Rowida, and it lingered for more than a moment, for a whole minute, she could feel warmth in her heart.

“Hello, I am Rowida.” Rowida knelt next to the boy and smiled.

“Hello, Rowida.” The boy extended his hand to her. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Can I draw with you?” Rowida wanted the warmth to visit her heart again, maybe it would linger this time.

“Sure.” Ethan gave her a twig and said, “You can draw the trees around the castle. Trees would be nice for the people to see from the towers.”

Mariah gave Rowida a concerned look, and reached to pull her away from the boy, but stopped short.

“I guess you can keep each other company for the next hour,” Mariah said as she looked at Rowida. “Then I will come back to take Ethan to his alphabet lessons.”

“Of course,” Rowida answered fast. “We will be here.”

An hour passed, and all throughout it, Rowida laughed and played with Ethan, and every time the boy laughed or smiled, the warmth came, for a few moments, or a minute, but it came, and she felt more alive than she had in months.

Mariah came towards them, first with a concerned look, then a smile started to grow on her face as she approached them.

“I see you have made a new friend Ethan,” Mariah said smiling at Ethan.

“Yes, Rowida is very nice.” Ethan nodded, then he frowned and added, “But she can’t draw at all, especially not trees.”

“I have to take Rowida away now.” Mariah reached and touched Rowida’s shoulder firmly. “Do you need anything before you go to the alphabet lesson?” she asked Ethan.

Rowida felt pain clenching her heart, one that she didn’t feel since they passed judgment on her, and for a second, her soul was stripped from her all over again.

“Can Rowida come back to play with me after I finish my lessons?” Ethan had pleading in his eyes as he held his twig firmly in front of him —a shield from the rejections of the world.

“Rowida is an adult, she might have other things to do with her time, besides, she also has to attend lessons of her own,” Mariah said.

“Ethan.” Rowida held his shoulders firmly, “If I have the time, I would be more than honored to spend it with you.”

Mariah gave her a warning look and shook her head.

“Bye, Ethan,” Rowida kneeled quickly and kissed the boy’s forehead. “I hope to see you again soon.”

Mariah pulled gently on Rowida’s shoulder, then both women moved away from the small boy.

“Can’t I spend more time with him?” Rowida pleaded with Mariah.

“You will leave soon, and he will be left here questioning why you left him.” Mariah sighed. “It is better for him and for you to end it at this point.”

Mariah pulled Rowida to one of the many squat buildings near the entrance of the city. “You have to attend some lectures about the surface world, we are not monsters, you will be sent as prepared as we can help it.”

Rowida woke up to the fact that she had to leave in less than a week, sighed, and walked resignedly with the older woman.