SWNOVELS Chapter 19
Stella and Royce had just left Kora’s quarters when he began to sing. It was a lewd song, and she had heard it before, covering her laugh with moans of despair.
“No, stop, the ladies of the court will faint at the absurdity!” Stella called over his song, and unable to contain it anymore, she laughed. Royce was also grinning and laughing between the lyrics. He was quite steady on his feet, Stella saw, but he kept his arm around her shoulder, and she around his waist. It was comfortable, and Stella found she really liked it. Royce was the general of their army. He had been busier than most, arranging the defenses, taking reports, and dealing with the remaining prisoners of war. She had not seen him in over a month. She remembered the nights sitting at the fireside under the stars, their bodies so close they almost touched, his warmth radiating off him. As they approached Royce’s rooms, Stella sighed regretfully- sad to have to say goodbye so soon. He would be on the road again soon, for another month, but then Royce would be back for the winter. They stopped and stood in front of his door, and after a few moments, Stella looked up at him, confused. Why hasn’t he moved to go in? Royce was looking down at her, and his eyes were soft. He was looking at her with such tenderness, she felt her face blush scarlet. She loved his hazel eyes. They constantly changed with his mood, and now they looked like liquid gold, with flecks of brown and green swirling in.
“Well, I have delivered you safely to your quarters, General.” Stella quipped, hoping to make light of the suddenly intense moment. Royce smiled and nodded, but he was still looking at her. His hand came up, and he traced the tip of her nose, the side of her cheek, before gently moving her bangs out of her eyes. He still had his arm around her shoulders, hers around his waist.
“Have you thought about what I told you, Stells? I am a patient man, but when you look at me like that... with those red cheeks and pouting lips … Well, I am just a man.” As he said so, his thumb traced her mouth. She gasped softly, and she saw his eyes change again, darker now. Almost amber, with those ever swirling green and brown flecks. In a bold move, she had no idea what came over her. Her tongue darted out and licked the tip of his thumb. Royce’s eyes widened in surprise, and Stella was picked up, so quickly she did not even see it happen. He now held her by the bottom with one large hand, his other on the side of her head as he pressed her to the door. She was startled and looked up. She had never seen such a serious look on his face. He dropped his forehead to her neck and took a deep breath.
" Do you know what you do to me? I cannot tell you how many times I have produced a million varied reasons to be close to you. You smell like the desert rain and wildflowers, and I cannot control myself much longer. Say yes Stells, please. Say you will be mine forever.” She felt his lips lightly graze on the sides of her neck, and she swallowed hard. Her body was not her own; she was trying to pull him closer, and she felt like she was melting. Royce held back, though, he would not kiss her. Stella had no experience of this, why wouldn’t he just do it? She grabbed his face, trying to pull him to her, so she could just kiss him herself, but he resisted.
" No Stells, not until you say you are mine. I shouldn’t even be with you like this.” She felt his small shudder, and he put her down and stepped away. She felt like he had slapped her.
“So, what if you don’t want me unless you marry me first?” It sounded stupid, even to her ears. Of course not, it would not be proper for her station. Marriage first. But she did not feel that. She did not understand why he would not even kiss her. Other nobility sneaked kisses in the dark before marriage.
" Stella, I am just trying to think of your reputation. No one will be happy if you marry a tribe member of the south. But it would be so much worse if word got out that we had done anything beforehand. I would die before I let them sully your name.” Stella was still reeling over the intense emotions of having him so close, and the sexual energy coursing through her body that she did not understand.
“You mean you wouldn’t want to bother doing anything with me unless you are secure in your engagement with royalty.” Stella regretted the words as soon as she said it, the hurt on Royce’s face was heartbreaking. Even worse, his plain warrior mask then slid into place.
" I am shocked at you, Estella. I had thought you, above everyone, would know that I would never do such a thing to you. My apologies, Your Highness, I bid you goodnight.” He opened his door and, just as quietly, closed it in her face. The tears then came, hot on her cheeks, as she turned to run. She knew she could not go to Ludis, her dear friend was already in bed, having to deal with the Mages of the White Tower early in the morning. But Ben and Kora were playing cards, Kora would know what to do. She took off running for Kora’s room again, the tears flying. Why would she say something so nasty? She KNEW he would never do such a thing. While on the outside, the court would scheme that he had. She knew him better; his initial proposal told her as much. She had felt bereft when he withdrew his touch, and she was terrified of marriage. Stella did not know if she ever wanted to get married. But she did know right then she wanted Royce, and his withdrawal from her had hurt. She was always too quick to cut with her tongue. Tears still running, she reached Kora’s door and fell into the room. She bumped the table, knocking a pitcher to the floor. She cursed, looked up, and saw that she had interrupted something. Her face flamed again.