Throttled (Dirty Air Series Book 1)

I walk into the pit area to wish Santi good luck. Noah fucked my bad mood right out of me, curing me from Santi’s negative words.

“Where did you go?” He looks at me with soft eyes and a weak smile.

“I took a walk. I needed a break from our conversation.”

Can he tell Noah just fucked me? Post-sex afterglow tends to be a thing.

“You look like you’ve been crying. I’m sorry if I upset you. I just want to make sure you’ll be okay and find what you love to do.”

My cheeks heat. Not exactly the crying he’s thinking about. His apology makes my heart squeeze, guilt eating up any leftover lust.

“Mm, yeah. I appreciate it. But I am happy, and everything will be fine. I like following everyone and I’ve made good friends. You don’t need to worry about me anymore.”

He pulls me in for a hug, our previous conversation abandoned. “You know I love you, right?”

My eyes roll with the least amount of effort because his corny phrase always gets me. I can’t hold an argument against him for more than an hour anyway. “You tell me all the time. I love you too. Now go kick some ass. Preferably Slade’s.”

“Hey! I heard that. You both act like I’m not here.” Noah’s voice booms over the buzz of the pit crew and machines. My body warms in recognition. I’m so screwed with him, both literally and figuratively.

“You’ve won three World Championships already. Save some for the little guys.” Santi’s voice carries over the other noises.

“I’m glad you’re not ashamed of being little. That’s mature of you. You know what they say—it’s not about size but what you do with it that matters.” Noah smirks at my brother.

Santi groans while I bark out a laugh.

“You’re a piece of shit, Slade.” Santi’s words don’t have the same kick. “Speaking of dicks, what the hell was going on in your room? Changing up your pre-race routine? It’s usually silent but your couch kept hitting the wall, in a rhythm I might add.” Santi’s knowing smile says it all. My throat closes tight, my brain jumping to the worst kind of conclusions. I let out a breath when I find Santi not looking at me.

Noah returns a wicked smile and shrugs. “Sorry about that. I’ll be more quiet next time.”

If the world could swallow me up whole, now would be the perfect time.

But it doesn’t.

“Maybe I need to follow the same ritual. I wonder if that’s how you win so much.” My brother, the idiot, smiles at Noah.

If I had a drink, this would be the moment I’d spit the contents out all over my brother. Oh my God. You definitely don’t want to, Santi. Can you shut up already?

My eyes dart around the garage, avoiding eye contact at all costs with both of them. Santi gives me a quick peck on the head before hopping into his car.

Noah and Santi wish each other good luck before they take off for the grid. I stay behind in the pit area for this race, watching overhead on the TV monitors while Sophie hangs out with her dad. A pit crew member hands me a headset so I can hear what Santi says while he races.

Noah takes off in first place, no surprise there. Cameras switch between overhead shots and racer first-person cameos. Over the past few races, I’ve caught myself cheering for him as much as I do with Santi.

Noah drives swiftly as he cruises along the pavement. My brother keeps close behind, battling it out for second place with Liam. Noah holds a good distance ahead and avoids any major collisions with other racers. My brother sets a great pace, with Liam behind his rear wing. Aerodynamics of the car make it difficult for Liam to overtake my brother. Air becomes a vortex inside of the track, compromising the speed of any racer who tries to pass the leader.

Santi catches up to Noah, but he’s no match for Noah’s defensiveness on this track. Noah’s turns stay tight, falling right in the middle, making no racer able to surpass him. My heart races as Noah creates a comfortable distance between himself and my brother.

Commentators go crazy as drivers fight for second- and third-place spots. Jax flies by Liam, pulling in close behind my brother. A pit stop will decide who gets out on top between them. Jax overtakes Santi at a narrow turn, causing my brother to spin out before he regains control.

Cars go around and around, lap after lap, rankings switching amongst racers. Jax gains speed on Noah, not compromising a potential first-place win for McCoy. I like Jax’s style compared to the boys at Bandini. He makes deliberate moves rivaling Noah’s, willing to do anything to get leverage on the first-place racer.

Noah’s dad interrupts me, his voice pulling me away from the TV. I withhold my sneer. Noah opened up to me about his dad’s anger management issues, telling me all about the unknown side of Nicholas Slade.

He takes up a spot next to me, staring up at the TV like he shares my same emotional investment. A comical display because his intentions become clear once he opens his mouth.

“You both think you’re clever, hiding what you’re doing.”

My body stills but my eyes remain on the TV. Noah and Jax compete for first place. Mechanics buzz as Noah pulls in for his pit stop, distracting me from his dad as the team puts on his new tires. The process finishes in under two seconds. I forget about his dad standing beside me until he fake coughs.

“What do you think Santiago and I are doing exactly?” I withhold an urge to run away.

His laugh makes my skin crawl.

Is it possible to hate someone without knowing much about him? Because what I know is enough. Who the hell hits their child for losing kart races? A man with a small dick and a fragile ego.

“You’re fucking my son. It’s so obvious from watching you two in the pit area earlier.”

My neck heats up, prickling at the dangerous man next to me. My fingers twirl a piece of hair to stop my fidgeting. I avert his gaze, staring up at the TV.

“That’s quite a theory. Are you so bored with attending races that you need to come up with stories?” I come off way more confident than I feel.

“You’re a smart girl. If you mess around with Noah, and his performance isn’t what I expect…”

I keep silent. He wants a fight that I don’t need to entertain.

“I’ll make sure your brother doesn’t have another contract renewal. Not to mention you’ll never walk into a Bandini suite again. I don’t mess around. I play to win.”

I turn my head, taking in his cold stare before returning it with one of my own. His threats don’t scare me. No need to give him any semblance of control over me.

“Not sure what you think is happening. I’m sorry you’re worried about Noah’s performance. But what he does out there is all on him.” My voice sounds sickly sweet to my own ears.

He leaves with a smirk on his face, proving to be the asshole Noah described.

“We need to talk.” Santi lays himself against the headboard of my bed, occupying the space next to me. Yesterday was a rough day for him after placing fourth in the Prix. He made his rounds to appease fans, but the loss ate away at him and he closed himself off in the hotel suite for the rest of the night. Only room service could push him to leave the four walls of his bedroom.

“About?” my voice croaks. Paranoia riddles my brain, playing tricks on me as I worry if Noah’s dad told Santi about my secret relationship. I wouldn’t put anything past that vile man.

“We didn’t have a chance to talk in private about yesterday. I came off like an asshole and I’m sorry. A lot has been on my mind with Bandini, and I worry about you on top of everything else.” His brown eyes pierce mine.

“There isn’t anything else to discuss. I get how you want what’s best for me.” I squirm against the bedspread, unable to find a comfortable position.

“You’ve been kind of distant and I don’t know what’s going on. I thought you might want to go back home, but I overstepped.”

My chest tightens at his sincerity. “No. That’s not it.”

“You’d be honest if something was bothering you, right? This world is hard, but I appreciate having you here. It’s made the season much better.”

Please, stab me one more time in the heart.

“Of course. You’re my best friend.” A lump in my throat makes swallowing difficult.

“Now that our feelings shit is out of the way, Netflix came out with the new Stranger Things season. Let’s see it while I have free time.”

I end up watching the same season twice because guilt has a funny way of making me do just about anything for my brother.