Chapter 33
Rather than go straight home, Itzy went back to Aidan’s flat. He opened the front door with a flourish of his hand. ‘M’lady,’ he said, and he bowed deeply while she crossed the threshold before him.
He shut the door behind them and held her eyes. He had a way of wordlessly watching her like she was a fascinating work of art. No one had ever made her feel that way before.
He took her hands in his and dragged her with him as he walked backwards, into his bedroom. It was wonderful that he had his own flat. It meant there was no one around to stop them.
On the other hand…there was no one around to stop them.
He pulled her onto the bed next to him. ‘Don’t worry,’ he whispered. ‘It won’t go anywhere ye don’t want it to.’
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. It was gentle at first, and then it built in passion until they both had to draw away for air. He held her like he was worried she might run away from him if he so much as blinked. His brown hair fell into his eyes as his back arched over her. The open neck of his shirt allowed her to see the light muscles underneath. She wondered mischievously how far his lovely tan extended.
He leaned forward so their foreheads were touching and she could feel his breath drift over her face. ‘I get a little crazy when I’m around ye,’ he made out in a ragged voice.
She felt herself sinking into the heat coming off his body. ‘A little crazy?’ she murmured.
‘Mm-hm,’ he murmured back.
He pulled her against him. Her arms slipped around him. One of his hands slid to her leg and ran dangerously up its length. It didn’t matter that she was wearing jeans; a shiver went through her, all the same. He kissed her ear. One of his hands caressed her hair. Itzy felt her insides liquefy in response. She felt like screaming, just to let out what was building inside.
His lips moved to her throat. Her head bent sideways to give him more room on her neck. Then he pulled away just enough to see her. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. He seemed to breathe magic.
He flicked her hair from her eyes, and said, ‘I had a dream about ye, last night.’
‘You actually slept?’
He laughed. ‘Aye, eventually. Don’t ye want to hear the wee dream?’
‘Oh yes, do tell.’
He started drawing shapes on her arm with his fingers. ‘I was at the riverside, where we went. Ya rose out of the water, with yer hair draped over yer shoulders. Ya looked like some kind of gothic mermaid.’
Itzy grinned. ‘That’s what you’re into?’
He smiled and put his finger to her lips. ‘Shh. As I was saying. It was day, like, and ya blotted out the sun. Its rays seemed to emanate from ye. And ye came toward me, holding something.’
‘What?’
He shook his head. ‘I didn’t know. I kept thinking: What does she want to show me? What story does she have for me? All I could hope was it had a happy ending.’
Itzy reached up to stroke his face, but he caught her hand and continued. ‘Ya came closer, and I could see there was something beating in yer hands. I thought it might be my heart. Wouldn’t that have been poetic?’
‘Or a little dark,’ Itzy commented.
‘Aye,’ he conceded. ‘But it wasn’t my heart. Ya dipped yer hands and showed me. It was a black light, pulsing and throbbing, calling me and drawing me to it. Just like the dream that brought me to London.’
Itzy furrowed her brow and pushed him gently off her so she could sit beside him. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked.
He raked his fingers through his hair. ‘It’s hard to know where to start,’ he said. ‘Alright. My whole life, I always felt like I was trying to find something, but I didn’t know what. Then one night, I woke up in a sweat. I had a dream that I was being drawn to something – that same pulsing light. It should have scared me, but all I could think was how beautiful it was. I felt compelled to it, without knowing why – but I woke up just before I could touch it.
‘So there I was, lying in bed, with this wee idea running circles round my head. I just couldn’t shake it. For days, it kicked around in there, until I was struck with the strangest need to drive south. For some reason, I thought whatever it was I was looking for, it was south.
‘So I nucked the Jag and did a runner. I know I act cool about it, but really, it wasn’t like me at all. Something just took me over and I followed my dreams – literally,’ he added wryly.
‘Every night, the pulse grew stronger, like. And I thought, Go to London. Melody was already here, so I had somewhere to stay – but part of me always knew that was just stage one, if ye like. Melody’s role in everything was to bring me here, so I could find whatever it is I’ve been searching for.’
‘The Wisdom,’ Itzy whispered in awe.
Aidan frowned deeply at this idea. ‘No. Yer missing the point. I think I was trying to find you.’
‘Me!’ she cried. ‘But why –’
He took her hands and scooted closer to her. ‘The dreams changed when I met ye. They’ve…progressed. And ever since that first moment in the cornfield, I’ve been consumed with this need for ye – to be near ye – to love ye.’ He shook his head. ‘No, it’s more than love. I don’t know what the word for it would be, but it’s bigger than that. And it’s been driving me mad. Being away from ye – even for a few hours – feels like torture. I know it shouldn’t, but it does. It feels wrong. Like someone’s taken a knife and cut part of me out and flung it to some unknown corner of the universe where I can’t find it and make myself whole again.’
He laughed at himself and dipped his head. His chestnut hair hung in his eyes. ‘God, I’m losing my head,’ he announced to his lap.
Itzy lifted his head and drew his face close to hers. She didn’t know what to say to everything he’d just confessed, so she kissed him. He met her kisses with his own hunger, and then pulled back.
‘I’ve been a terrible host,’ he said. ‘Would ye like a drink?’
Itzy smiled. ‘Yes, please. Water’s fine.’
He kissed her forehead and hauled himself off the bed. ‘Ask and ye shall receive,’ he said, and he left the room.
For a long time, Itzy considered what he’d told her. It was a strange story – but as she’d told him before, she was getting used to strange.
She rolled onto her side and reached for the lamp on Aidan’s bedside table. She switched it on and noticed a letter on the table. She drew nearer, convincing herself it wasn’t technically prying if she never actually picked up the letter.
She caught a few lines:
…regret to inform you that your biological parents made it very clear they did not want you to know their identity….
‘What’re ye doing?’ his voice startled her.
She looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, carrying two tall glasses of water.
‘Sorry,’ she said, feeling sheepish. She sat up and straightened her clothing.
Aidan’s grey eyes seemed to sparkle. His mouth curled up on one side. To Itzy’s great relief, he didn’t look angry. He handed her one of the glasses and sat beside her.
She gratefully gulped down half the glass and set it on the table, trying not to look at the letter.
Aidan sighed. ‘Ya can read it if ye want. I can see it’s killing ye, like.’
‘No,’ she said. ‘It’s your business, not mine, right? I shouldn’t have been so nosy.’
He seemed amused by her mortification. He leaned over her, retrieved the letter and pushed it into her hands. ‘There,’ he said. ‘I’ve done it for ye. Now read it.’
She did. When she’d finished, she looked at him with large eyes. ‘Aidan. I’m so sorry. I had no idea you’d written to the agency.’
He shrugged, but she knew better than to think he didn’t care. ‘I wasn’t really expecting a satisfactory answer. I knew there was a possibility they wouldn’t want me to know.’
There was something so heartbreaking about the way he said this that Itzy set down the letter and wrapped her arms around him. There was none of their former passion in that embrace. She simply hugged him the way she would have hugged a child, or her best friend. She thought he needed it.
He pressed her tightly before disentangling himself. ‘It’d just be good to know who I really am, ye know? I often wonder where I came from, why I am the way I am. Sometimes I spend a long time staring at myself in the mirror, thinking things like: which one of them had brown hair? Who gave me my eyes?’
‘Oh yes,’ Itzy said. ‘Whoever gave you those, I’d like to thank them.’
Aidan gave her a sad smile. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips briefly before holding it in his lap. ‘Don’t go,’ he said.
‘I wasn’t planning to,’ she said, confused.
‘No, I mean….’ He took a deep breath. ‘Stay the night.’
Itzy raised her eyebrows. An unexpected heat surged through her. Just what was he offering?
As if reading her mind, he shook his head. ‘I just want ye here,’ he told her. ‘I’m a terrible insomniac. I can’t stop thinking all the time. It keeps me up. That’s why I’m always out driving in the middle of the night. But I think, if ye were with me…I might finally be able to rest.’
Itzy stroked a lock of his hair away, revealing his forehead. There, too, the skin was tanned a light gold colour.
‘My mum would never allow it,’ she began.
Then she saw the look in his moonlight eyes. Their stare sank into her skin like teeth and she felt helpless in their sight.
Suddenly, she heard herself say, ‘I’ll make something up.’
Aidan exhaled with relief. ‘Thank ye.’ He hugged her tightly and said it again. ‘Thank ye.’
A few minutes later, she was ringing her mother to say she was staying at Devon’s house. It was the first time she’d ever lied outright to Myra, and she hated the feeling. It had been different, when Myra drank. Itzy hadn’t had to account for her whereabouts, then. But now, her mother had changed. She cared enough to ask Itzy to ring her in the morning, to let her know when she would be home. It was as if she knew what was really going on and wanted to hammer in the guilt.
Next, Itzy rang Devon, to get their stories straight. When Devon heard Itzy was spending the night with Aidan, she all but exploded on the other end of the phone.
‘You’re what?’ she cried.
‘Are you about to give me a speech?’ asked Itzy.
‘No,’ said Devon. ‘But if you don’t ring me tomorrow to give me the details, I will personally kill you.’
When Itzy finished her phone calls, she turned to Aidan, who hovered in the doorway wearing an anxious expression. ‘I guess I’m staying,’ she said. She did her best to hide her nerves.
His eyes shone with delight. He hurried toward her and swept her into his arms, rolling her on top of him while he kissed her. His hands slid easily under her top and ran over her back. His fingers dashed deliciously down her spine. A noise escaped her and she buried her face in his neck.
The air in the room sparked. Everything felt like electricity rushing over her. The hair on her arms stood on end and her skin broke out in goosebumps. Inside, everything seemed to pulse.
‘Aidan,’ she whispered through kisses. ‘What are you doing?’
He didn’t answer. He just kept sweeping his mouth over her skin. Colours flashed in her vision, dazzling her. Everything seemed to be glowing and on fire. She felt like she was burning, but it only made her want him more.
Then, through the light, she saw pinpoints of darkness. They started to leak, black dripping across her vision. Those lines had appeared again.
‘No, really,’ she said in a shaky voice. ‘What are you doing?’
Her body grew weak under his touch. One of his hands tore through her hair, while the other strayed to her hips. His fingers slipped just under the waist of her jeans. She felt the air go out of her. Everything was too much for her to stand. She thought if it went on any longer, she might end up screaming.
‘Stop,’ she said.
Instantly, the room, her skin, the air returned to normal. She collapsed against him, breathless.
Beneath her, Aidan’s chest heaved in and out, forcing Itzy back up where she could see him. His eyes were closed. She felt him draw in one long, extended breath, before exhaling slowly.
When he opened his eyes again, he asked, ‘Would ye believe I was hardly aware I was doing it?’
She laughed airily and swallowed back the sensations that had nearly consumed her. She did believe him. But that did nothing to cool the fire in her veins.
She cleared her throat. ‘It’s late. We should get some sleep, yeah?’ If she was honest with herself, this was the last thing she wanted, but some inner voice told her it was the right thing.
Aidan nodded at her. His grasp on her loosened and she slipped off him to sit on the bed.
‘I’ll be right back,’ she said.
He nodded again and rolled onto his stomach. He curled his arms around a pillow and watched her movements.
She escaped his gaze and went into the bathroom across the hall. It was the only room with a lock on the door, and she locked it now. She headed for the sink and leaned her arms on its rim. She stared at herself in the mirror as she took deep breaths to try to calm down.
A tube of toothpaste sat on the edge of the sink, which took her by surprise. So this was it. This was Aidan as a normal person. He brushed his teeth just like anyone else.
Did that ruin any of the magic she’d woven around his image?
No. And that was a very good thing.
It hit her that she had nothing to wear to bed, she didn’t have a toothbrush, and she didn’t have makeup or clothing for the next day. She’d have to improvise.
Or make something.
She squeezed a little toothpaste onto her finger and rubbed it over her teeth. Then she rinsed out her mouth and threw water over her face, trying as best she could to remove her makeup. She never wore much, just a little foundation and a hint of colour. But she had a habit of lining her eyes in black, and that was harder to remove, which meant she was in there a long time. She worried Aidan might think she was one of those girls who spent half their lives preening themselves.
The next order of business was her clothing. She didn’t think she’d be able to sleep very comfortably in jeans – but she wasn’t prepared to lie half-naked with a boy she had to admit she still hardly knew.
There was only thing for it. She closed her eyes and willed the sentence to take shape in her mind. When she reopened her eyes, she wore long blue cotton pyjama bottoms under a loose white short-sleeved t-shirt with a heart-shaped neckline.
‘Itzy,’ she said to her reflection in the mirror, ‘sometimes you amaze me.’ She grinned at herself and left the bathroom.
In his room, the lights had been switched off. Aidan lay on his side, his body creating a crescent-shaped hill under the duvet. His eyes were closed, but she doubted he was unconscious. Hadn’t he just been telling her how difficult it was for him to sleep?
She slipped carefully into the bed beside him, and his arms immediately wrapped around her. He drew her against his chest, which she could tell was bare. The exposed skin of her ankles pressed against the soft fabric of whatever he’d changed into.
‘Goodnight,’ he whispered to her, and he kissed the back of her neck. Then he tucked her against him so his head rested on top of hers and she felt small in his arms, and he didn’t say another word. His chest rose and fell in an easy rhythm against her back. Despite the thoughts running through her head, Itzy found that rhythm soothing and lulling.
Soon she heard Aidan snore softly, something else she had worried might break the spell he’d cast over her. But it didn’t. Itzy couldn’t think of a time when she’d felt more at peace.
Yet when she closed her eyes, she saw that curious vestibule again. Doorways protruded from every angle, stretching out as far as she could see. They were above, below and all around her; and in her mind, black crept over them like faceless spiders.
The last thing she thought before she fell asleep was that the Ancients were coming for them.
And they would be there very soon.