Their Bonds of Love

Holding out her hand, she caught a few flakes, watching them stick to the gloves she wore. Eleri, wanting to fill the chill of the snow, took off one of her gloves before holding her hand back out. She caught several of the large flakes, watching as they melted against her skin. Putting her hand down, she walked around the small courtyard, not caring that the train on her dress was probably getting filthy.

She hated what she was made to wear. All her dresses were heavy and form-fitting. None of them were good for running, jumping, or riding a horse, which was probably the point. They were meant to be worn by a great lady, lording over a house. One who would not have to do anything more strenuous than slowly saunter down the halls and flick her wrist at a servant.

The heavy gowns and even her mother’s crown added to Eleri’s feeling of entrapment. She hated that the only little bit of outdoors she saw was a small courtyard with four high stone walls. She longed to be out amongst the trees. She wished she could practice her magic and make the snow fly around her. She longed to soar into the air to look over the city. Her wolf had grown agitated as well. Eleri was not much for shifting regularly, but she sifted often enough to keep her wolf appeased. Now the poor thing felt as trapped as she did. It wanted it out, and it made Eleri almost feel ill.

She wasn’t sure she could summon the strength to shift at the moment anyway. Something about being trapped and having to repel Ciara’s enchantments made Eleri feel constantly exhausted. There were times she was alert, such as when Lady Rees would visit her, or she would get another short note from Conri.

The thought of Conri made Eleri’s breath catch. She found a stone bench close to a tree and sat down before pulling off her other glove. Before putting it aside, Eleri reached into one of the fingers and pulled out a tiny scroll of paper. Looking around, she saw only the two guards that came with her standing by the door. Deri was one of them, and she felt she could trust he would not tell anything he saw her do. The other always looked bored. She thought he might even be dozing that moment as he was leaned against the wall of the palace.

Deciding it was safe, she unrolled her short note. It came just the night before, and she knew she should burn it like the others. She tried, but she could not do it. More and more memories of Conri kept coming back to her. It was hard to put them all in order and make perfect sense of them, but it was enough to make her heart beat faster when she thought of him. She could remember the taste of his lips and the feel of his touch.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before re-reading her note.

I once told you I cared not for your promises. I only wanted what you were willing to give. To have you once again close to me where I can bask in your presence is all I want. The day is coming, my love (for that is what you are). Be ready and stay strong.

She touched the scroll softly, keeping it close to her so no snowflakes would smudge it. Finally, deciding she was being silly, she kissed it before rolling back up and sticking it deep in her glove.

As soon as she had her gloves on and stood up, the door to the palace opened, and Bren Farrow stepped out. He pulled up the hood of his black cloak and walked towards her. Eleri moved towards the door, not planning on giving him much notice.

“Lady Eleri,” he said with a small bow as she neared him.

“Bren,” she said in response with a nod.

He caught her arm to stop her, squeezing it hard as he pulled her closer. “You should address me correctly, my lady. I am Lord Farrow.”

She pulled at her arm until he squeezed it even harder before letting it go. She massaged it over her dark green cloak as she stared at him with narrowed eyes. “I don’t see how you are Lord Farrow. No king has declared you as such, and I doubt your father’s will named you his heir.”

“His will is none of your concern, and Lord Fellen is as good as a king. He will be crowned in a little more than a week.” Bren smiled nastily at her. “Are you ready for your wedding, my lady?”

Eleri rolled her eyes at him before walking forward. He quickly moved in front of her. “I asked you a question, Eleri. It is rude not to answer back.”

“I have no wish to speak with you, and you cannot force me. My thoughts and feelings are my own, and you have no right to them. Let me pass before I call over the guards.”

Bren looked over his shoulder at the guards. Poor Deri looked unsure of what to do as he leaned forward. The other was still resting against the wall, his head bowed. “Like I can’t dispatch either of those guards if they decided to do something.” He reached up touched her cold cheek. “I could take you right here, and they could not stop me.”

Eleri turned away from him. “I doubt there is little chance of it as you’ve always hated me.”

“I can hate you and still see you are a desirable woman. I once watched you in the woods with Caerwyn. I was surprised by your boldness though I supposed I shouldn’t be. As outspoken and stubborn as you are, I should have guessed you would be without shame in all areas of your life.” He grabbed her again, this time with both arms. “Caerwyn let you have your way too much that day. I think to break someone as spirited as you would be beyond satisfying. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought of it before.”

She pulled away from him, throwing his hands off of her. “I don’t think Lord Fellen, who you claim as your future king, would wish you speaking to his betrothed of such things.”

Bren laughed. “Maybe he would not, but what can he do? If I told everyone what that prophecy really said, his chance at king would be over. Only a few can speak the ancient langue, and I am one of them. My tyrannical father made me spend a few summers with my great-great-uncle. I was forced to learn the old language as that old buffoon went line by line over the prophecy with me.

“Thank the goddess that he finally lost all ability to speak. He barely knows where he is half the time. Now I can speak and write for him. It has bought me much, including a lordship. To throw a few nights and days with you in the deal wouldn’t be hard. Lord Fellen owes me it and more after letting the whore that was my stepmother get away.”

“You think I would just lie there and let you have your way with me?” asked Eleri venomously. “I know how to hurt a man, Bren, and though I hate to think it, I might get some pleasure out of making you suffer.”

He half growled as he moved closer to her. “I expect you to fight back, my lady. It only adds to the attraction.”

She tried to move backward, but the tight, heavy gown made it awkward. Before she could get away, Bren grabbed her again, pulling her against him. He leaned, so his lips were inches from hers.

“Fight back now, Eleri,” he breathed. “Look at me so I can see the anger in your eyes. I want to remember what they look like before I finally break you.”

Eleri felt frozen into place as she stared at him. She wanted to scream, hit him, run, something, but she felt so heavy and tired all she could do was look at him. She closed her eyes and held her breath as she felt his lips against hers. Before he could go any further, the door to the palace opened, causing him to jump back.

“Lord Farrow,” said Lord Fellen as he walked towards them. “I am surprised to see you out here. I hope you are not troubling Lady Eleri.”

“I only wished to say a good afternoon to her after my travels,” said Bren as he grinned while looking at Eleri. “We are old friends, after all.”

Eleri kept her head down as Lord Fellen came closer to her. He put his hand lightly on her cheek, causing her to look up at him. “You are frozen, my dear,” he said with a shake of his head. “Come inside and have some tea with me. I think you have spent enough time in the snow.”

She nodded and took the arm he offered. Lord Fellen looked back at Bren as they walked towards the door. “If you need me for anything, Lord Farrow, you can see me before supper. I would like to spend some time with my betrothed first.”

“I will wait then,” said Bren. “I am sure I can find something to entertain me in the palace, even if you are taking away the main attraction.”

Lord Fellen made a low noise in his throat as he stared at Bren, but he said nothing else. He led Eleri through the door opened by the guards, taking her to their usual parlor. Once he closed the door, he led her close to the fireplace.

“Are you alright, Eleri?” he asked with more concern than she thought him capable of.

She nodded as she took off her gloves, quickly shoving them in her pocket. She fumbled with her cloak before Lord Fellen walked behind her to help her slip it off her shoulders.

Lord Fellen hung her cloak on a rack close by and then watched her as she held out her hands to the fire. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“Not really,” she responded as she worked to keep her tears in check. She would not show just how much Bren had unnerved her, especially to Lord Fellen. She imagined he was just as bad if not worse than Bren, even with his soft touches and gentle words of concern.

“I am sorry he continues to pester you. I wish there were a way to get him to leave you alone, but so far, I have come up empty. I will keep trying, though. I may have said it in the past, but now that you are here, I don’t think I would like sharing you.”

Eleri turned from the fire and sat down on the sofa. She poured some tea into a cup and put some sugar in it. Before taking a drink, she looked up at Lord Fellen. “Would you like some?”

“Not at the moment,” he said as he walked over and sat next to her. He gave her a few moments to drink her tea. “You look very lovely today. I like this color on you.” He ran his hand along the dark blue fabric of her sleeve, following the silver flower pattern.

“I feel this dress, like my others, is still too much. I don’t need all this finery for every day, my lord.”

“I have no doubt you would look just as lovely in the simplest gowns, but I need you to appear and act like the queen you were meant to be. Your gowns and crown let others know they must take you seriously.” He smiled at her. “After the wedding, if you would like a few simpler gowns, I wouldn’t mind. You could wear them in our quarters once you join me in the king and queen’s suite.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. She wanted to tell him that there was no way she would unite herself with him, but a voice inside whispered that it would do no good. To deny their marriage would only anger him, and she wasn’t sure she even had the ability at the moment to deny anything. Staying silent seemed the best course for her.

“I have said it many times, and I will say it again,” said Lord Fellen as he took her hand. “I want you to be happy, Eleri. I want you to feel safe.”

She took back her hand to take another sip of tea. Her objection this time would not be pushed down. “It is hard to feel safe, my lord,” she said weakly. “You took me from my home. In the past, you have killed a king and queen. I am not sure how I could ever trust you.”

Lord Fellen blew a small puff of air out of the corner of his mouth. “Eleri, do you think I killed the king and queen myself? Do you think I acted alone?”

“Are you claiming not to be the cause of their death?”

“I had a large hand in it. I do not deny it, but I tried everything else first. Elathia has long been a land growing in chaos. There are too many people and not enough resources. Homes have grown larger, and due to new ways of healing, families have grown bigger as well. Many wish to live close to the large villages and the city. You see the toll of building homes and shops has taken on our forest.”

“I have,” said Eleri as she put her teacup down and scooted to the very end of the sofa. “I have seen the villages your soldiers have destroyed as they moved through so they could control the river. I have seen what people have had to do just to survive. It is awful, and I believe done under your direction.”

“Done because that is what the lords in power have ordered me to do. I am not a king, Eleri, not yet. When the king and queen were killed, it was done by more than just a few lords. I was the one who got the blame because I was the one who put them out of their misery. It was not I who poisoned their cups at supper one night. I was barely twenty.”

“Who then? Who led this uprising against the king?” asked Eleri.

“Men and women who are mostly dead now. They were powerful lords and ladies in the city. Your father’s third and fourth advisors were in on it. Their sons now seem less interested in ruling than their fathers, but they have their demands still. They want their lands expanded and their interest to be more profitable. So we build, not caring what we destroy.”

“Why were chosen to lead? Was it because you were second advisor?”

He gave a small shrug. “That, and the older lords thought a young, handsome man would do better in gaining support. They also thought they could control me due to my youth. They were right in some ways. I had no idea what I was doing for a few years. I am much wiser now.”

“How so?” asked Eleri.

“I know we cannot keep taking from the land. We cannot grow as we have with no consideration for what we are doing to our resources and people. We must find ways to cut down on our consumption and battle diseases that have grown.”

“Which you plan to do by eradicating Ordinaries,” said Eleri. “You wish them wiped off the land.”

“I have nothing against them really besides the usual prejudices of growing up in a home of powerful shifters. But to go forward, sacrifices must be made.” She looked at him in disgust, and he held up his hand. “I do not wish to go out and slaughter a group of people, Eleri. I only want the balance of power to be made right. Orindaries were not mean to flourish as they have. Most think they are not even of this land originally. They came here from across the sea. The goddess made Elathia to be set apart for those with gifts and powers.”

“I don’t believe it. What makes one with the ability to shift or use magic any better than those who can’t? I have met many ordinaries who are clever, kind, and hard workers. They have done much for this land. They are even steadier in mind and character than those blessed by the goddess in my experience.”

He moved down the sofa towards her and touched her hand. She drew it back, but he grabbed it and held it. “You will be my queen, Eleri, and I will give you the chance to speak for the Ordinaries. I will do what I can for them, but things cannot go on as they have. We must remake Elathia into the land it was meant to be. A place where powerful creatures rule and make their way. You say Ordinaries or more settled, which may be true, but our land was made to be wild. I think we have taken on too many niceties and ideas of politeness and even purity.

“Think how you have been held back. You are the last of a powerful magical family and the daughter of one of the strongest shifters in this land. There should be no limit to what you can do, but others have kept you down with ideas of etiquette and politeness. I know what they say about you and some of your more passionate ways. Why is it fair that you are called certain things, but the men you have spent time with give no thought at all?”

She turned away as he kept a hold of her hand. A voice in her head said to listen to him. Her mother used to let her run free through the forest, but after she was gone, she was forced to learn to become a proper lady of high society. She thought of all the boring nights she was forced to sit and drink tea or dance with men who believed her simple just because she was a woman. She thought of Caerwyn and how she always felt a little guilty after their times together like she was less for wanting to soothe her need for him.

Though her memories were still was cloudy, she thought, even with the prince, she had to hold back at first, trying to be a proper lady, when all she wanted to do was give herself to him. She remembered how people would be shocked when they learned her father let her fight.

“I know you understand what I am saying, Eleri. You do not have to hold back with me. Once you are my queen, I will depend on your wisdom and power. I will listen to your council, but you must try to understand my ideas as well. We will start something that will bring Elathia back to where it was meant to be, back to a wild land where those with power are not afraid to show it.”

She stared at him, startled by how close he was to her. His eyes weren’t as cold blue as she thought. They were intense and filled with something close to passion as they looked down at her. That voice that nagged at her grew louder. It spoke of her father wanting her to be a proper lady. It hinted that Caerwyn was only toying with her all those years. Perhaps Conri only wanted to dim her power as well.

She tried not to listen because she knew they were lies. Her father loved her for who she was. Caerwyn had his own issues that had nothing to do with her, and Conri was the most honest person she had met once she got past the shield he put up. He shared everything with her without holding back. She closed her eyes as she thought of his hand upon her cheek, stroking it gently. The look of passion and love he held for her filled her with a feeling of being wanted.

She could feel his lips against hers as she leaned into him. His name echoed in her head, and she almost whispered it. Their kiss deepened as she felt the weight of him over her, laying her down on the end of the sofa, but it wasn’t right. It didn’t feel familiar. She opened her eyes to see Lord Fellen over her. He released her lips to move down her neck as she gasped.

“No,” she said quietly. She wanted to scream it, but it would not come out. One of his hands pushed against her side, and it made it harder to breathe for some reason.

“Eleri,” he whispered after kissing close to her ear. “You are so beautiful and powerful. I will find a way to make you happy. I will show you who you were meant to be.”

She pushed against him, but it was a weak effort. Panic started to overtake her mind as he leaned up, and one of his hands went under her skirt and moved up her leg. No, she screamed in her mind. She knew who she was, and it had nothing to do with him. She was Lady Eleri Cadwin, the daughter of Lord Ewan Cadwin and Elen Moss.

She was powerful, but she also held a responsibility to her family and those who depended on her. She tried to be kind and fair, as both her mother and father had taught her. She was wild at times, but she also knew there was a place for decorum and niceties. She wasn’t perfect at all, but she was sure of who she was and who she wasn’t.

She felt her power growing within her, working to break free from whatever held it back.

“Let me make you mine, Eleri. I cannot wait any more,” he said before he kissed a spot of her neck just below her ear. His tongue darted out against her skin, and she arched up with a shudder. “Just say it, Eleri. Say you want it. Say you will be mine.”

She whimpered, trying to get the words out that she would never be his. A loud knock at the door made Lord Fellen pull back with a loud groan. “What is it?” he yelled towards the door.

“You have visitors, my lord, and so does Lady Eleri. They said they had been invited for tea,” said one of the servants’ voices behind the door.

“Damn,” said Lord Fellen as he leaned up. “I had forgotten. I must meet with a few of my lords, and you are hosting some of the ladies for tea.”

Eleri sat up and nodded, feeling strangely calm about what had happened. Lord Fellen stood up and held out his hand. Eleri took it, and he helped her up. “You don’t look too disheveled.” He tucked a curl behind her ear that had come loose.

She stepped back and smoothed out her skirt. “I must not keep my guests waiting.”

Picking up her hand and kissing it, he said, “I am not sure how long this meeting will last, and then I must speak with Bren Farrow. I might have a late night, but I will come to see you as soon as I am able. I wish to finish what we started.”

She only slightly nodded before he walked to the door. He opened it and waited for Eleri to exit. She knew she should feel panic. She did not want him kissing her, let alone marking her, but she felt so subdued and almost ill. There was some sort of war inside of her between her power and something that held it back. She wasn’t sure what it was as she hadn’t felt Ciara charm her in days.

As she walked down the hall, she thought over her conversation with Lord Fellen. He told her more about his past and his future plans than he had before. Although the thought of being in his presence repulsed her, perhaps she could get him to speak more of his plans in the coming months. If they were to take the palace and control of Elathia back from him and those who supported him, they needed more information.

Before she knew it, Eleri was at the door to the large parlor. A guard opened it for her, and she walked in to greet the ladies who had come for tea. She talked with a few before seeing Lady Cecil and Lady Rees standing close to the back window. Lady Cecil nodded at her, and she finished her conversation to walk over to the two ladies.

“Lady Eleri, are you feeling well?” asked Lady Cecil. “You seem a bit pale to me.”

“You do look a little out of sorts, my dear. Did something happened?” asked Lady Rees.

“Nothing I wish to relive by talking about,” said Eleri. “I will just say that Lord Fellen has gotten bolder with his advances.”

Lady Cecil exhaled loudly as Lady Rees took her hand. “Do not worry, Eleri,” whispered Lady Rees. “You will not be staying here much longer.”

“I hope not, as the wedding is a week away.”

“And you shall be gone by tomorrow evening if all goes to plan,” said Lady Cecil moving in front of Eleri and shielding her from the room.

“There is a plan in place?”

“Yes. Our husbands returned yesterday,” said Lady Cecil. “I am to expect new visitors to my house tonight.”

“Tonight?” said Eleri as her heart beat faster. “Who is coming?”

“They were still working that out when our husbands left,” said Lady Rees. “But I know the Bright One is coming. The prince is demanding to come, though both Lord Cecil and Lord Rees have advised against it. They do not wish to put him in harm’s way.”

“I would not want something to happen to Prince Conri because of me,” said Eleri even though she longed to see him.

“But he is adamant that he comes, and I am not sure they will stop him,” said Lady Rees with a small smile. “My husband said he seemed desperate to see you. I believe he said something about not letting the woman he loved be in danger and doing nothing about it.”

Eleri felt her cheeks grow a little warm.

“So you see, my dear lady, all you have to do is keep safe one more night and day. If you can, be in your room after supper tomorrow. The Bright One hopes to enter from Argenta House in some secret passage. It is somewhere not far from your rooms, so you must be there,” said Lady Cecil.

Eleri nodded. “I will do all I can to stay in my rooms. It shouldn’t be a problem, though Lord Fellen does come to see me at times. They may need to make sure there is some kind of distraction elsewhere to take him away.”

“I am sure that can be arranged,” said Lady Cecil. She took Eleri’s hand. “You say Lord Fellen has become more attentive and bold?”

Eleri nodded. “He has, and I am not sure why, but I find it hard to stop him. I do not want anything he can give me, but I feel so weak lately.”

“Has Ciara Sullivan been spending time with you?” asked Lady Cecil.

“Not really. She charmed me with something last week, but that has been it.”

“The stress must be awful,” said Lady Rees. “It is almost over, Lady Eleri. Just stay strong a little longer.”

“And avoid lord Fellen all you can,” said Lady Cecil.

Eleri knew this was wise counsel, but she wasn’t sure she could keep it. If she could learn more about his plans, she could help Conri. Perhaps if she slept well tonight, her head would be clearer in the morning. He would demand some of her attention, and she could give it to him before supper, so he might be happy to let her be in the evening. The thought of seeing Conri and even Caerwyn again gave her more energy than she had felt in a while.

“I will do what I must to keep safe and help our prince,” said Eleri. “No matter what, I will not unite with Lord Fellen, so I can only hope this plan will work.”