Their Bonds of Love

His tail twitched as he stared at the large white wolf in front of him, waiting for any signs of movement. Conri finally saw the subtle swish of Caerwyn’s tail to the left, and he moved right as Caerwyn bounded forward. As Caerwyn passed him, he leaned towards the wolf, throwing the Bright One off balance. Caerwyn fell to his side and rolled.

Before he could get up, Conri lunged forward, placing his huge paw on Caerwyn’s side as he leaned over him, showing his teeth and growling. Caerwyn stared at him for a moment, appearing as if he was holding his breath. Conri stayed where he was, moving his head slightly downward until he jumped off Caerwyn and walked towards the trees near the small field.

He shifted as soon as he reached his clothes, pulling on his shirt and pants. Sitting down, he put on his boots as his heart continued to beat wildly. He did not mind sparing with Caerwyn as a wolf, but sometimes it was hard to push down his instincts to do actual damage to him. He had not forgotten how Caerwyn had hurt Eleri or the fact he knew Caerwyn would wish to win her back if he could. As primitive as it sounded, she was his, and he would protect her, even from someone who proclaimed to love her.

He emerged from the trees as he pulled on his cloak. He found Caerwyn waiting for him close by, but he did not look at him as he passed. Caerwyn hurried to catch up with him, falling in step by his side as they walked towards Cadwin Manor.

“You are much improved, your highness,” said Caerwyn. “You appear to read movements well, and you are much more subtle before you strike.”

Conri said nothing as he slightly nodded his head.

“You still need to improve listening to your instincts. I can tell you got distracted a few times by your thoughts.”

Conri turned to look at Caerwyn, feeling his agitation rise. “You think it is easy just to set aside all that I am feeling? If you can quickly forget the woman you love is in grave danger, perhaps you do not love her as much as you say. Of course, I doubt you do, seeing how you treated her.”

Caerwyn huffed and shook his head. “It is not easy to put away the worry and fear we have, especially when they are about those we love, but you must remember as I do that to save what we hold precious, we must focus.”

“I am focused,” said Cori. “I am focused on doing all I must to save Eleri. When the time comes, nothing will stand in my way. I am more than ready, and if things do not move forward soon, I will go get her myself.”

“That line of thinking will get you and her killed, and then where will the land be?” asked Caerwyn. Conri could tell he was getting at least frustrated, if not angry. “If you love Eleri, then you will do what you know she wishes. Nothing is more important to her than you becoming king and saving Elathia.”

“What good is all of that if we lose Eleri?”

“She would tell you if her sacrifice saves thousands of others, it is worth it,” said Caerwyn quietly.

“And you agree with it?” Conri stopped as they approached the house.

“I understand it, and I know preparing you and keeping you focused on the right things is what she wants.” He looked at Conri. “I do not wish her to die, your highness. If you decide we cannot wait any longer to save her, I will go with you.”

“I know you think me foolish.”

“I do not,” said Caerwyn. “I believe I understand you better than anyone in this land. I think of her all the time as well. You may not want to hear it, but the thought of Lord Fellen even touching her enrages me to the point that I have almost left in the middle of the night for Niamhan several times.”

“I have as well,” said Conri quietly. “It makes it almost impossible to sleep, and when I do sleep, I have nightmares of what they could be doing to her.”

Caerwyn reached out and put his hand on Conri’s arm. “You have to remember how strong she is. I don’t think it will be too much longer before all is in place. Dwelling on it won’t help.”

Conri angrily shook his arm and stepped away from Caerwyn. “Thinking of her misery is what keeps me going. I will do anything to end her suffering.” He walked towards the house. As he entered, he shoved his cloak to a waiting servant after, feeling his anger grow. He knew he had to keep sharp and train with Caerwyn, but being around the man was not something he liked.

He was about to walk up to his room and order lunch to be brought to him when a voice stopped him.

“Prince Conri, are you and Caerwyn finished for the morning?” asked Efa as she walked in from the parlor.

“We are. I believe the Bright One will be inside soon,” said Conri, moving towards the stairs.

“I hope you are joining us for lunch? Lady Havens, in particular, has been asking about you. She says she rarely sees you.”

Conri stopped on the first step. He knew he had withdrawn from almost all in the house, but unless there was definite news on Eleri or the plan to save her, he could not work up the will to spend time with others. He had no patience for idle conversation.

“Tell Lady Havens I will find her this afternoon. I need to clean up and rest after my morning.”

“Conri,” said Efa walking closer. “You avoiding everyone in this house is not going to help Eleri. She would not wish you to live so solitarily. You were not made for it.”

He sighed. “I’m not sure I am who I once was. Much as changed this past year.”

“I am sure it has, but you are not meant to be alone; none of us are. Now come eat lunch with the rest of us. You can sit between Grace and me. You know we will both talk enough for you to remain almost silent.”

He stood still as he looked up the stairs.

“Please, Conri,” said Efa quietly. “I feel responsible for you while Eleri is gone. I have not always given her the support I should have after losing her mother, but I want to do this for her. Just come and try to socialize with the group for a bit.”

He took a deep breath. “I will come and eat lunch. I hope you will let me change and clean first.”

“You promise to come down in less than fifteen minutes?” she asked.

“I do. I will not take long.”

She nodded, and Conri hurried up the stairs. After entering his room, he took off his shirt and went to the bowl of water in his room, finding it warm. He supposed someone had been sent to fill it not long before. His guess was either Grace or Lady Havens, as both always tried to make sure he was taking care of himself.

As he cleansed himself, he felt guilt wash over him. He knew he had not shown proper attention to those in the house. All of them had been kind in their own way. Grace and Lady Havens worried over his little appetite and drinking habits. Lord Havens sat with him in silence, always making sure to pat his shoulder before leaving the room. Efa spent time trying to get him to speak. Lord Cadwin kept him informed on the plans to save Eleri and Elathia.

Aella persuaded him to take walks with her. She usually spent the time speaking of some silly memories from when they were much younger. Occasionally she would try to get him to talk about Eleri with limited success. Lady Farrow avoided him mostly, which he supposed was her way of giving him relief. He did not mind her presence as he held no anger for her.

They had a new visitor staying with them in Caerwyn’s friend, Selven Pirey. Conri was skeptical of the man at first. He was strange-looking with a raggedy cloak and sour expression, but Conri’s mind soon changed. He knew much about what was happening in Elathia. He found ways to get letters between Lord Cadwin and those who lived by Niamhan safely. He knew people that Conri probably never wanted to meet, but they got the job done. The man was also not as sour as he looked. He never pressed Conri to be merry or talk about anything of substance. He sat up and drank with Conri, telling him interesting stories of his life.

Conri pulled on a fresh shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. He did look a little tired and ragged. He had not shaved the last week, and a short beard was starting to grow. He rubbed his hand over it, and it reminded him of the time he spent with Eleri as they traveled the land. Emotions of happiness, desire, regret, and sorrow came over him as a thousand scenes flashed in his mind.

He was so tempted to sit down by his fire and just lose himself in his thoughts. He had done it many times. Several nights had gone by where he barely registered time. He spent many afternoons in the chair before him or in some dark corner of the library doing nothing but thinking over what he could have done for things to be different.

If he hadn’t had run that morning at Efa’s, Eleri never would have lost her memories. He should have convinced somehow to hide that day she was taken. He could have lunged at Lord Fellen and killed the man. He should have seen how evil and misguided Lord Nevis was. He could have done it all and more.

He was just about to sit down when there was a knock at his door. Figuring it was Efa, he thought to ignore it.

“Conri, I do not want to go have to ask Lord Cadwin’s head servant for a key, but I will,” said Lord Havens calm voice. “I would much rather you let me in.”

Conri turned, surprised to hear Lord Havens outside his door. He walked to it and opened it immediately.

“Well, at least you were telling the truth in saying you were cleaning and changing. I suppose you have decided to grow a beard?”

“I have considered it, though mostly I just don’t have the patience to sit still for a shave.”

“It suits you, I think.” Lord Havens walked in as Conri moved out of the way. “Does Lady Eleri prefer it?”

“She has never said either way.” He couldn’t help a small half-smile. “She did not seem to mind it when we traveled.”

Lord Havens chuckled slightly. “So were you just taking your time changing, or are you going to hide up here as you have been?”

“Right to the point, my lord,” said Conri as he sat down in the chair close to him.

“You should know by now that I do not waste words, Conri.” Lord Havens sat next to him. “I should have spoken to you earlier, but I was trying to let you work things out on your own. You’ve always been rather good at figuring things out. Even if you sometimes did it in interesting ways.”

“I suppose I caused you a good amount of grief throughout the years.”

Lord Havens shifted in his seat and stared at Conri. “You have never caused me or Lady Havens grief. You are the cause of much of the joy in our life. You did make it more interesting and amusing, but I never worried that you wouldn’t find your way until now.”

“I know you all think I am pathetic,” said Conri as he looked away. “I can’t say you are wrong.”

“You are not pathetic. Too much has happened too quickly. You fell in love with a woman and earned her love. She was injured in front of you and woke up to not remember your love. Then you had to watch her with another you believe does not deserve her…”

“He doesn’t,” interrupted Conri with a growl.

Lord Havens raised his eyebrows and continued. “When she started regaining some memories of your time together, she was taken. Now she is in being held by the very man who killed your parents.”

Conri closed his eyes. “Do you have a reason for pointing all this out? I think about it all every second.”

“I am only trying to tell you we all understand how you must feel. No one blames you for being upset and worried. We want to help you.”

“How can any of you help me?” asked Conri incredulously. “I know you mean well, Lord Havens, but if you have some inspirational talk where I need to pull it together for Eleri and the land, you can save it. I have already heard it.”

“I have no inspirational words for you. I feel rather low myself. I have lost my home. My wife has not fully recovered from our journey as her lungs continue to bother her, and you, who I love like a son, have too much on your shoulders. I thought perhaps I could come up here and hide with you for a while.”

Conri turned to look at Lord Havens, not sure of what to say. “I am sorry for all you have lost on my account. I hate that Lady Havens is suffering.”

“It is not your fault, Conri. There is much evil in this land. I tried to protect you from it for as long as I could, but I knew one day you would have to face it. It is the very reason you were forced to spend your life in my home. I know I am not your father. I tried to guide you and love you like one, but I never wanted to take the place of King Donivin. I knew you were more than I could ever be.”

“I could never be as good of a man as you are,” said Conri. “Perhaps it is better my father never knew me. I doubt he would find much pride in me.”

“I know that is not true. I may not have known your father as well as Lord Cadwin and others, but I knew enough about him to believe you would be exactly what he wished for in a son.”

“You never spoke much about him to me,” said Conri.

“I know, and it was a mistake. It was a dark time when your mother and father were killed. Lord Fellen and his supporters quickly spread fear throughout Elathia. At first, I didn’t speak much of your parents to you as I didn’t want you to give information to the wrong person. Then as you learned about your heritage, you didn’t ask much about it. I suppose it is because when you were younger, I brushed you off so many times.”

“Sadly, I didn’t care enough for a while,” said Conri. “By the time I better understood it, I was almost a young man and interested in other pursuits.”

Lord Havens nodded. “You did like the company of young ladies. I probably should have checked you more, but as long as you were discreet and no angry fathers came to me, I let you be. I knew, like all the times before, you would eventually figure it out. I thought meeting the right young woman might wake you up.”

“Do you think it would be Eleri?”

Lord Havens shrugged. “The prophecy is what it is. I had also heard much about the young lady. I imagined she would be impressive.”

Conri chuckled a little as Lord Havens stood.

“I will have to go down, or Lady Havens will come looking for me, the dear woman that she is. I am also anxious to be away from her. With her health, I never know how much time we have left, and I do not want to waste one moment with her.”

He smiled down at Conri. “I know what it is to love a woman more than anything in this land. I may have lost my home and lands, but I still have her by my side. I may wish to wallow in dispair at my misfortune, but then I would not be the man she loves or deserves.”

“You are coming close to advice,” said Conri.

“Perhaps, I am, but I will leave it there. Now, what excuse should I make for you at lunch?”

Conri looked up at the man who would always be as close to a father as he would have. He finally stood. “None because I will join you. Lady Haves deserves my attention as well. I should not be so rude to Lord Cadwin.”

Lord Havens laughed. “Not if you wish to convince him you deserve his daughter. You cannot depend on your title to impress him enough to trust you with someone so precious to him.”

They walked towards the door together. Before walking out, Conri stopped Lord Havens. “I know you never wished to replace my father, but you did guide and love me when you didn’t have to. You can say you did it for the land, which might be true, but you were always kind to me. I am sorry my parents met such an early end, but I do not regret growing up with your and Lady Havern’s guidance. I was very happy.”

Lord Havens put his hand on Conri’s shoulder. “We did do it for the land in some ways, but Lady Havens longed to have a child to love. I enjoyed raising you as well. We are very proud of you, Conri.”

“Thank you,” said Conri before he walked to the dining parlor, deciding he would try to do a little better going forward.