The Woman in the Windowsill

~~~

It’s dark when I wake up at Camila’s. It’s cold tonight. I try to be as quiet as possible as I cross the hallway and open her door. There’s no sound as I open the door. I look over to the full bed. Camila is fast asleep and Ashley is huddled closely against her mother. Ashley’s hair is long now. It’s been a few days since my last visit, having been preoccupied with tracking down Jason. I gaze at my family for a few minutes, but I decide not to wake them.

I decide to head downstairs and enjoy the night sky. I exit the front door and stand outside on the patio. It’s quiet, like always. I take in a deep breath of the crisp night air and exhale. Then I begin to hear scurrying in the yard. Something small comes running my way, and brushes my leg as it goes by. It’s a dog, a dalmatian puppy.

“Brett?” It’s Ashley in the front doorway.

“Hey sweetheart.” I walk over to her and give her a hug. She’s a little bit taller now. She’s grown since I’ve been gone.

“Mommy told me you wouldn’t be visiting us anymore”, she says. She’s tired and rubs at her eyes.

The dalmatian puppy runs up to Ashley and she instinctively hunches over to pet the pup.

“Can you make a puppy too?”, Ashley asks.

“Sure”, I whisper, trying to to wake Camila upstairs. I generate my own dalmatian puppy, but mine remains static while Ashley’s generated dog continues to frolic despite her attention being on me. “Your dog can move without you having to think about it?”

“Yeah”, Ashley giggles.

“Well I can’t do that!”, I say. I’m puzzled. At this moment I hear a hoot. There’s an owl in the tree around the side of the house. The owl flies over and lands next to Ashley. Both the owl and the puppy are still moving, meanwhile Ashley focuses her attention on me. There’s no way she can be dictating the movement of her manifestation.

“Who taught you to do that?”

“Teach me what?”. Ashley is now awake and she’s pettin the owl. The dalmation heads into the house through the open front door.

“To make things with your mind. And not have to think about everything they do for them to act and move. Me and your Mom, we can’t do that.”

“I know”, Ashley says. She’s smiling as she understands her talent. “Mommy says that’s why I’m special. She says I’m her blessing.”

“What else can you make Ashley?”

“Well Mommy wants me to slow down. She says I create too much. I created a bunch of ducks at the pond and rabbits. They keep on eating Mom’s plants though.”

“Wow. So this way you two won’t be lonely huh?”

Ashley continues to touch the owl’s head before it lifts off and flies off into the darkness. She doesn’t answer the question, and instead looks up at me. “Are you going to stay this time Brett?”

“How about you head up and go back to sleep with your Mom. I’m just going to chat with her when she wakes up.”

“Come with us, sleep with us!”, Ashley insists as she grabs my hand.

“Oh, well I’m not sure about that Ashley, I have my own bed to lay in.”

“I always sleep next to my Mom. You come too!”

I follow Ashley upstairs. We head in and Camila is still asleep. We both crawl under the covers, Ashley in the middle. I don’t sleep though. I stay awake, just laying there. I enjoy the comfort of sharing a bed with my wife and daughter. Their warmth brings me comfort. If I decide to sleep I’ll miss it.

When the daylight begins to flood the room, I hear Camila start to get up. I keep my eyes closed and pretend I’m asleep as well. I can feel her eyes on me as she gets up. But she doesn’t wake us. I know she’s there, standing at the foot of the bed, witnessing her family together for the first real time. I wait until I hear the bedroom door shut before I open my eyes.

Nice and easy, I get up out of the bed. Ashley doesn’t wake up, she remains asleep. I don’t intend on waking her either. I give my daughter a kiss on the forehead.

I open the bedroom door and head downstairs. I head into the living room and I see Camila, seated on the windowsill of the observation window.

“When did you get in?”, she asks, still looking out the glass.

“Last night.”

She taps the side of the windowsill.

I make my way over and take a seat next to her.

“We missed you”, she tells me.

“How long was I gone this time?”, I ask.

“A few months.”

“I found Jason.”

Camila turns and makes eye contact with me now.

“He’s not a bad guy”, I tell her. “I can see why you liked him. Seems like a good guy.”

Camila looks uneasy. “I’m sorry”

“I wasn’t there for you when you needed me Camila. I understand that now. It was natural that you found the comfort of someone who was there.”

“I had two of the bracelets. One of them, I made. One of them, was the model I copied. I couldn’t remember which one was which. I gave one to Jason, for him to remember me by. The other one I left for you and our baby. I’m happy you got the real one.”

“You mean that?”, I ask.

“Yes. Your daughter. Our daughter. She’s special.” Camila points outside the window. A flock of birds flies off in the distance. “I didn’t make those. Neither did you.”

“It’s amazing”.

“She’s special, Brett. She can do what we can’t. She can create a living, breathing world for us to have. I’m not sure what I’d be doing if you hadn’t come. You brought me peace Brett.”

I put my arm around Camila and bring her in close to me.

“Be honest with me, Camila. I know our daughter brings you happiness. But do you love me, like I think you love me? Do you love me like I love you?”

Camila stares deep into my eyes. “You’ll always be special to me Brett. You’ll always be my husband. You’ll always be the one who saved me. And you’ll always be the father of my child.” She leans her head against me. She takes a deep breath “But no, I don’t.”

I nod. I still hold her tight, one last time.

“I can’t let you stay here with us Brett. I do love you, but not enough to let you make the mistake of staying here with us.” She’s begins to tear up.

“It’s okay Camila. Our timing didn’t work out, is all. I wish I could come back and visit… But I’ll die if I keep coming back.”

“At the same time”, she cries. “I don’t want you to go either.”

“I’m going to miss you, Camila. Take care of our daughter for me. I only wish I could see her grow up.”

She brings her lips against mine. She stares deep into my eyes and we force a smile to one another. She’s as beautiful as the day I met her. “Thank you Brett”, she tells me. Thank you for everything.”