The Woman in the Windowsill

~~~

I pull up my Honda outside of Rafe and Claire’s driveway. I slowly walk up to their front door, passing a couple of garden gnomes in the process. My eyes droop as I knock on the door, awaiting for an answer. Fortunately, it’s Claire who answers the door.

“Brett!”, Claire delights. She invites me inside. I notice on the walls that she has decided to put up some of the pictures I delivered to her earlier this month. I tell her it’s a nice touch as she leads me to the kitchen where she already has some tea boiling. We take a seat at the table and she serves me a cup. I tell her all about how I’ve been coping and she continues to ramble on about her neighbors and how the stove lighter has been malfunctioning lately.

Rafe quickly stops in and performs his obligatory greeting before sparking a cigarette. He adorns his usual expression of discontent with me as he makes himself brief and makes his way to the living room.

After more small talk with Claire and a few cups of tea, I decide to talk about what I came here for.

“Claire, I wanted to tell you something.”

“What’s that honey?”She takes a look at my wrist. “Oh, I see you like the bracelet? I figured you’d keep it around but I didn’t think you’d actually wear it? How nice.”

I decide to ignore the comment about the bracelet. I can barely keep my eyes open at this point. “I know this is going to seem weird, but bear with me okay?”

“Sure, do you need money?”

“No, not at all, trust me.” From the corner of my eye I can see Rafe’s head pop out and then return behind the wall. “It’s about Camila.” Claire nods in attention. “She loves you very much.”

“Brett, I know my daughter loved me.”

“She just wanted to let you know. She said she never got the chance to say goodbye. She just wanted me to tell that to you.”

“She told this to you before she passed?”

I mentally prepare myself for the verbal abuse. “I’ve been talking to her. I’m able to see her in my dreams. I don’t see a point in keeping it a secret. I can relay messages back and forth between you and Rafe and her if you’d like.”

Claire is disgusted. “Honey this isn’t funny.”

“It’s not supposed to be Claire.” I know my words come off like a poison. Luckily I’m so sleep deprived it doesn’t really register in my head. “I see here at night, in my dreams. We are once again happily married. I’ve visited her every night this week. Things get complicated because time goes by faster for her, so it’s more like I’m seeing her once every two week to her, but we’ve been getting by. What I’m trying to say is, she loves you and she misses you.”

“Brett, this is disgusting. How can you hurt an old woman this way. This isn’t you. You wouldn’t say things like this to me. And you look so worn. Have you been doing drugs Brett?”

“I know it’s going to be tough to understand at first Claire, but it’ll clear up and work out eventually.” I radiate a smile, to which only makes Claire appear more uncomfortable.

“Rafe!”, she calls.

Rafe comes from around the corner with half a cigarette set firmly in his lip. “Yeah?”

Claire’s eyes are watering. “Brett is telling me some disturbing things, can you show him out?”

Rafe raises his eyebrows at the opportunity. “What the hell did you say to my wife?”

“I’ve been needing to talk to you too Rafe. Again, your daughter says she loves you and misses you. She’s always wanted us to get along. I told her we were but we both know she’s smarter than that.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

I put my hand out. “Let’s get aside our differences Rafe. It’s what Camila wants. Put her there.”

“Get the fuck out of my house. This isn’t something to joke about you fucking trash. I’d kick your ass right here in the middle of my kitchen if my daughter hadn’t loved you, now get out!”

“No Rafe, you’re not understanding. You’re doing the exact opposite.” I giggle at this. I must’ve looked like a monster. He grabs the collar of my shirt and drags me to the front door. I don’t put up a fight with the old man. I decided to leave his pride intact, and I was much too tired to put up a struggle either way.

They shut the door behind me and I make my way back to my car. It begins to rain at this point. I sit in the car for a second and almost doze off. I feel a vibration from my phone. I pick it up and it shows four missed calls from Jessica.

I’m running low on energy but I decide to call her back to see what she wants. I still haven’t gotten around to breaking things off with her. The call goes through and she answers almost immediately.

“You called?”

“Yeah. I just haven’t seen you in a while. Do you want to meet up tonight? I’m kind of missing you I feel like we haven’t spent much time together lately.” She sounds insecure in her voice. She even comes off as needy.

I rub my eyes as I listen to her plead. “Sure. I need to see you too, I’ll come by your place tonight, if that’s okay?”

“Oh”, she sounds surprised I actually agreed to it. “I guess I have to clean up then, won’t I?”

“If you feel the need to”. My voice comes off as impatient and cranky.

“Great, does nine sound okay? I’ll pick us up some of that wine we both enjoy so much, it’ll be fun!”

“Don’t worry about the wine. I’m not in the mood to drink tonight.”

She doesn’t speak for a moment. “Okay”, she complies. “See you at nine?”

“Yeah”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked, just walk in!”

“Yeah”.

I hang up the phone and decide to remove the bracelet for now. I need rest. I decide to park the honda a few blocks down the neighborhood and take a quick nap.

~~~

I open my eyes and check my phone for the time. It’s already 9:10. And I’m an hour away from home. As quickly as I can I make the drive to Jessica’s, but it’s already about 10 when I pull up outside of her house.

I’m not as cranky as earlier, but I’m still a little fatigued. I’m going to try to get this over with as soon as possible. I decide to ring the doorbell and after a while I see her figure behind the clouded oval window in the center of her front door.

“Hey”, she smiles. “I didn’t think you were going to show up!” She gives me a kiss and motions for me to follow her in. Reluctantly I do. “I’ve been wanting to tell you all about work!”, she says excitedly as she takes my coat. “The craziest thing happened -”

“What do you usually do everyday, aside from work?”, I interrupt.

“What do you mean?”. She looks confused.

“Like, when you’re off. What do you always do? I’ve never really asked.”

“I guess I just hang around here.” She motions at her apartment. I can tell she’s cleaned, the house smells and looks nice. I analyze her as well. She did her hair, and she’s wearing a new dress. She shrugs at my question.

“Is that why you were so excited to see me tonight?”

“Well yeah, I’m always excited to see you. I even decided to surprise you by getting you a gift today too. I really like spending time with you.” She scurries over to a gift wrapped on a sofa and retrieves it. She returns grinning ear to ear as she hands me a small square box wrapped in blue with a gold ribbon. “Here”, she says.

I grip the present.

“Open it”. She sounds excited.

I lazily rip off the wrapping she took her time with. The ribbon and the wrapping paper are scrunched up into a ball which she takes to be disposed after I open the present. I open up the box. It’s a silver watch, premium made.

“I know we’ve only been seeing each other a month. But I got a bonus, and I figured why not spoil you a little bit.” Her eyes are wide with anticipation.

“You didn’t need to do this, Jessica.”

“I wanted to. Really, it’s not a big deal, let’s see how it looks on you!”

“I don’t want to.”

Her smile fades away in an instant.

“Return it. Get your money back.” I put the watch down on the edge of the sofa.

“You don’t like it? I knew I shouldn’t have gotten it. I just figured I know you like bracelets, so I thought a watch would look great on you for your first day back to work tomorrow is all.”

“Listen. You’re a sweet girl. You really are. And you’re gorgeous. But this, this here. This isn’t for me.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying this isn’t going to work. You want a man, a husband. I’m not that guy. I’m not settling down with anyone, ever. I have a wife.”

“You prefer the memory of someone, over someone real? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Yes. That’s what I’m telling you. Find someone else Jessica. I love someone else and I always will. I don’t think you’d be all too happy being number two in my mind forever.”

Her eyes begin to water. “I can’t believe this”

I don’t respond. I grab my coat and exit the front door. By now I know she must be wondering what’s wrong with herself, and that she messed everything up by getting me that watch. I decide to tune out the thoughts and make my way home.

After getting home I debate about putting the bracelet on and visiting Camila. She must be lonely waiting for me for over two weeks by now. But I have work tomorrow, and expectations are going to be high. I decide to suck it up and pay her a visit again…