The Woman in the Windowsill

I wake up to Jessica’s voice. She’s shaking me awake. I awake from being knocked out on my bedroom floor. Oddly enough, it’s the best rest I’ve gotten all week.

“Brett, Brett, are you okay?”

I open my eyes and I see her face, filled with concern, as she keeps shaking me.

“Jessica?”, I ask.

She helps sit me up and moves me over to my couch. I feel my jaw and my face. My jaw isn’t broken, but it’s sore, really sore. My right eye is swollen shut and my nose is off track to the right.

“I heard about what David did. Are you alright? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for this to happen to you!”

“Don’t worry about it”, I tell her. “I deserved this.”

“You need help Brett, let me help you! I know a great psychiatrist at the hospital, he can get you an appointment by tomorrow, we can-”

“David told you about…”

She motions toward the bracelet, torn apart across the room. “Yeah, he did. He shouldn’t have hurt you though. I was so mad about the other night, but if I had known it was just because you were sick I would’ve been more understanding. We need to get you some help come on.”

“I don’t need help”, I struggle. “I’m not seeing a psychiatrist. Sorry Jessica. Thanks for coming to help me, I appreciate it a lot. But I’m not sick, and I don’t want any help.”

I take a look around my apartment. David has taken his things and gotten out.

“David’s staying over at my place until he can make arrangements with his roommate to move back in there. Sam too. He’s just a little angry about the situation, but once you let us help you I know he’ll be right back by your side!”

She looks truly concerned and worried for me. “I’ll go to the doctor. Not a psychiatrist. But I could really get my face looked at. If you really want to help me out that much.”

“Of course Brett”, she assures. She helps me out of the living room and we head to the hospital.

~~~

It was a quick visit to the emergency room. I met a Dr. Palmer and he seemed like an honest man. He seemed young for a doctor, but nonetheless played the part very well. They took a few x-rays to check out my concussion and they realigned my nose. Dr. Palmer was just finishing up a few tests while Jessica and I waited in the patient room.

“Thanks Jessica. It means a lot that you’d still help me out, considering everything.”

She shrugs. “It’s what I do, I’m a nurse”. She smiles. “I still can’t believe David pulled this stunt on you though.”

“He just cares about you, is all. I’ve let him down and messed up on my part way too many times to stay mad about this.”

“You’re not going to press charges?”, she asks.

“What? Of course not. I’d have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. He was just frustrated. He was just being a good cousin, that’s it. He’s my best friend.”

“That’s sweet of you”. She sits ancy in the chair. “She must have really been something, Camila?”

“Yeah, she is.”

“She was, you mean.”

“Jessica. I know it sounds crazy. But it’s real. It’s more real than real life when I’m with her. And I can’t leave her alone there.”

Jessica shrugs and rests her head on her hand.

“You’re falling in love with the wrong guy Jessica. You could do a lot better.”

She ignores the statement. “So that bracelet, it’s not from your niece, is it?”

I come clean. “No.”

“Do you have a niece?”

“No”, I repeat.

Jessica’s eyes look down toward the ground. “She must’ve been real special.”

Dr. Palmer enters the room with a few papers in his hands.

“Mr. Reckard”, he says with a serious tone.

“Yep”, I reply.

“We need to talk about your x-rays.”

Dr. Palmer shows me the x-rays on the screen. He points towards lesions on the edges of my brain.

“This here is degradation of brain matter”. He points to various parts of the x-ray. “This is from stress unlike anything I’ve seen before. Are you sure you haven’t been taking drugs, or have been performing any practices that you previously hadn’t?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Have you noticed anything unusual lately? Personality wise, cognition, or thinking, wise?”

“No”, I lie.

“He has”, Jessica chimes in. I begin to rub my temples. “He’s been delusional lately Dr. Palmer. He’s been hallucinating.”

“How long has this been going on?”, the Doctor asks.

I concede. “About a month now.”

“Well these lesions look like they aren’t any more than two weeks old.”

“So these symptoms have begun after he started these hallucinations?”, Jessica inquires.

“If what I’m being told is correct, then yes.” Dr. Palmer remains puzzled.

“So it’s a side effect from whatever odd practices I’ve been performing?”, I tell him.

The doctor’s patience is tested. “This is no joke Mr. Reckard. This is already life changing damages. If there’s something you need to tell us, you need to tell us so we can get you off of it. If you continue to do this, you will die.”

“I was speaking hypothetically”, I tell him.

“If that’s the case, then we’re going to need to hold you here for a couple of weeks to get an analysis and make sure everything is going as planned.”

“What?”, I snap. “No, you can’t keep me, I need to get back home. I have somewhere important to be God damn it!”.

“You’re not leaving this building Mr. Reckard. It’s for your own good.”

The nurses, one of them Jessica, force me into my patient attire and they even appoint security outside my door so that I’m not able to leave. The entire time I’m there is torture. It hits me that I’m going to be stuck here in this hospital for a while, weeks maybe. And for what? They’ll never understand what’s going on with my brain.

~~~

Jessica comes in my room. She’s carrying a platter of hospital food.

“Hey”, she greets.

“Hey”, I say.

I’ve been here for almost a month now. I’ve been patiently waiting, but they keep on pushing the date back until they can understand what’s going on in my head.

“I know you don’t really like the food here”, she says. “So I’m going to sneak out and pick something else up for you. What do you feel like?”

“Nothing, I’m fine”.

“Are you sure. We’re celebrating.”

“Celebrating what?”

“They say that the degradation has come to a stop! They say that you aren’t getting any worse! It’s good news Brett.”

“Sure, fantastic.”

“It means you’re getting better! They’ll let you out before you know it.”

“It’s been too long. When do I get out?” I look around in defeat at the dreadful hospital room.

“It’s hard to say Brett. But maybe another three weeks. Maybe more.” I curse under my breath. “You look a lot better though. You look well rested now.”

Jessica frowns. “Well. Let me know if you change your mind and what you’d like for me to fetch you okay?”

“Jessica”, I call out as she’s leaving.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been cold towards you. This is all just so frustrating.”

“We’ve all been there”, she says as she comes closer. She leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “David is coming by today. He’s been shy about apologizing, you know how prideful he is. But he’s finally over it, and he’s going to come and visit.”

“That sounds real nice. You’re a special girl Jessica. Thanks for helping me.”

She flashes a quick smile at me before leaving the room.

For hours I lay in bed. I’ve been defeated. I’ve given in, and I’m at the mercy of the hospital’s discretion.

The door opens up. I expect it to be Dr. Palmer again to give me an update on my brain activity. David walks in.

“Hey”, he says.

“Hey”

“This ain’t the first time I’ve come to see you, you know. The other times I stopped by you were asleep and we all figured you could use the rest.”

“No hard feelings.” I try to force out a smile. In reality I’m dead inside.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me, after everything. But I wanted to let you know Sam’s doing good. I haven’t eaten him yet.”

I giggle at the comment.

“He’s a good cat though”, he continues. “I like the company. When you’re out we’ll get him set up with you back at your place again.” David takes a look around the hospital room. “Fuck this place sucks.”

“Tell me about it”, I reply.

“How was work, for the day you got to go back?”

“I got fired.”

We both remain silent for a second. Then we both simultaneously bust out laughing at the situation. We laugh and we laugh hard for almost a minute straight.

“Dude”, he says, wiping tears. “That fucking sucks”. We let out another laugh.

“Hey”, I say.

“What’s up bro?”

“Sorry about everything with Jessica. She didn’t deserve that. She’s a special girl.”

“That means a lot man”. David reaches into his pocket and pulls out the rhinestone bracelet.

“No, you didn’t”

“Yeah, I got it all patched up for you man. I know it meant a lot to you. It took me fucking forever to find all the pieces throughout the room. And from what Jessica is telling me is you’re getting better. So I figured you could get it back and there shouldn’t be any problems. Just keep it hidden I don’t want to lose my balls over this okay?”

“Deal”, I say, putting the bracelet back on.

I enjoy the rest of David’s visit before he heads out. Almost immediately after he leaves I force myself asleep. I almost have a hard time getting asleep because of the anticipation, like a child the night before going to Disneyland.