The Wolf Of Penshaw Lake

My ringtone, an old R&B hit, blared from the old, wooden nightstand in our hotel. I groaned and turned over to silence it when I saw the ‘Unknown number’ of who was calling and my stomach immediately clenched painfully. I shot up from the bed and showed mum the phone, who had woken up to the song, albeit with a groan after having heard it every morning for about a month when I was eleven.

“It’s an unknown number,” I said, with the song still playing as it continued to ring.

“Don’t answer!” She hissed.

“What do I do?” I squeaked, the thought of my step-father, Dan, finding us was suddenly weighing heavily on my mind.

“Break the damn thing!” She rushed, sitting on the edge of the bed, nervously shaking her leg. She stood up and shook out her hair, running her hands through it.

Still ringing, I threw the phone at the wall and winced as it crashed loudly against it and fell, beaten, to the floor.

But at least it had stopped ringing.

“Well, now I need a new phone!”

I had a phone for only one reason. To keep it contact with mum in case we ever got separated. Anyone who had that number could be onto us and it was deathly important that we were never found.

“Go into town. Take some cash from the safe and buy a burner phone. Nothing fancy,” she warned.

“Okay!” I held my hands up in surrender, I had been doing this for a year now. I wasn’t daft.

I fussed around in the wardrobe for something to wear. I didn’t have much choice, but something in the back of my mind made me want to feel nice. The people of this town felt secretive, judgy and wary. I didn’t want to give them anything else to whisper about. I pulled on a pair of blue mom jeans and a white shirt, completing the simple look with a large belt and my trainers.

I strapped my knife to my thigh and pulled the strap on its holster tightly. My pepper spray went into my bag, it was only a small bottle, for a quick getaway, so it fit snugly. I pulled up my long brunette hair into a messy bun and secured it with a few bobby pins. It was getting thick again, I would need it cut soon.

Spitting my toothpaste down the sink, I looked in the cabinet for any sign of makeup. Mum didn’t wear much, she couldn’t never gather the energy to try and impress people anymore. I found a half-empty bottle of foundation and a mascara that I hastily swiped over my eyes.

It would have to do.

Fetching my handbag, and the money from the safe, I turned to my mother who was finally breathing at a normal rate again.

“Do you want anything?” I asked her, as she pulled the duvet over her head.

“No, I can never sleep in new places, but I’m going to try and get some more now,” She mumbled against the pillow.

“Sounds good to me,” I replied and with an unusual spring to my step, I left my mother to snore the day away, making sure the door was closed and locked behind me.

I walked down the short flight of stairs to get to the main entrance and the hotel owner was stood at the reception desk, arguing with somebody, a large man covered in intimating tattoos and a scowl plastered on his face. I scurried past, not wanting to be seen, but couldn’t help but overhear part of the conversation,

“Stop telling visitors to be wary of the danger...or you will be the one in danger.”

Gritting my teeth to try and forget that sentence, I stepped out of the hotel and into the bright, welcoming sunshine. It lit up the sky and I immediately felt better. Now that I knew the route I could get into town quickly, but I chose to enjoy the walk and the feel of the warm sun on my face and arms. Soon I came face to face with the fountain and stood by it as I perused my options.

I stepped into a small boutique after browsing a few shops and I noted a pretty jumpsuit in the window. A sales lady jumped up from behind the counter and grinned as soon as my big toe stepped onto the plush white rug at the front of the shop.

“Hi, welcome to Dee’s! I’m Dee,” she sang, gesturing to herself, “see anything you like?”

Surprised by the sudden change in attitude from people here, aside from the cheerful waitress, I stared at Dee without uttering a word.

“Well?” She pressed, “We’ve just got in some summery clothes for the new line.”

Normally, I would shoo away annoying sales advisors like her, but Dee seemed like the kind of person who would give you something cheaper if you were nice and cheery.

“Actually, that jumpsuit on the mannequin caught my eye,” I replied, mustering up a smile to rival her own. “Does it come in a ten?”

“I love that too, one of my favorites. It’s just here on this rack.” She practically galloped towards the rack and pulled off an identical jumpsuit in my size. “The fitting room is just in that left hand corner,” She added, pointing in that direction.

I shut the curtain tight behind me and stripped down, laughing silently to myself as I stood in my underwear. The black knickers were beginning to fray and my bra had a small hole in the lace. My boobs poked out of the top and it was clear I no longer fit into this bra. My knife was still securely strapped to my upper thigh and I shook my head, pulling on the jumpsuit, half expecting it not to fit.

But it did.

It was gorgeous. Thin straps held it up, and the mesh across the torso gave it a real sexy feel. It pushed up my boobs and showed off my navel. The pants flared at the bottom and I could see myself pairing it with some strappy heels.

I decided to buy the jumpsuit. Even if I never got a chance to wear it; it looked stunning and I could wear it in front of the mirror and simply pretend. I put my old clothes back on and left the fitting room.

Dee was stood right outside, “Any good?” She asked.

“Um, yes I’ll get it,” I replied, walking past her towards the till, the jumpsuit slung over my arm.

“You have to buy these with it, you would look absolutely criminal!” She cried, slinging a pair of black open-toed heeled boots at me. “Half-price, as a welcome,” She added.I almost felt as though she was going to physically hit me with another of her bargains.

I was a girl. Iloveda bargain, and the way Dee grinned at me, almost pleading, made me forget that I was supposed to be laying low. I nodded,

“Alright you convinced me. They are gorgeous shoes,” I sighed, placing them on the counter so Dee could ring them up.

“What’s your name?” She asked nonchalantly.

I was prepared for this. “Sophie,” I replied breezily.

“Well Sophie, you should wear the whole thing tonight! There’s a singer on tonight down at the pub we all tend to go. It’s called The Black Horse and it’s pretty much the only nightlife here. I’d love a younger face to come down, there’s a few of us girls under thirty, but not enough!”

I placed the jumpsuit on the counter, “I don’t know about that. We’re only here for a few days I think.”

“Well why not enjoy the few days that you do have? If you do decide to turn up, come around six and just ask anyone for ‘Dee’ and they’ll point you in my direction!”

Dee placed the jumpsuit into a bag and I paid hastily, “I’ll think about it. Thank you,” I said and waved to her as I left the shop.

A few drinks would have been wonderful, but I couldn’t leave my mum alone all night. I sighed and continued to walk down the high street, taking it all in. I dipped my head into a couple more shops, for a quick browse, and to buy a new burner phone. I quickly spied a phone repair shop on the corner, advertising some phones in the window.

Luckily, the sales advisor in here was much less interested in me and allowed me to buy the phone without so much as a word. Walking out the shop, my head down to turn the phone on, I almost bumped into a young couple.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking,” I apologized, holding my hand to my chest and giving the couple an apologetic look.

The girl scowled, “Typical,” She sneered, pulling on the man’s arm to walk around me.

My mouth was open, I couldn’t believe she had been so rude. I had half a mind to shout something back, but I hadn’t even been here five minutes, I couldn’t justify making enemies already. I swallowed my anger, folded my arms and continued back to the hotel.

My mum was awake when I unlocked the door to our room. She was pacing up and down and grasped my shoulders as I entered.

“I don’t like it here, I think we should move on,” She said hurriedly.

“What, why?” I gasped, putting down the bags on my bed.

“I went down for a short walk, I couldn’t sleep, and there were two men at the reception desk. Both of them were shouting at the man across the desk and I just felt my heart almost beat out my chest. I can’t stay in a hotel that has guests like that.”

I took a deep breath, of course my mum was scared. I was too, but I had a much better grip of my emotions that she did.

“We will be fine. They don’t know us, we have fake names and the anger wasn’t directed at you,” I said slowly, trying to reason with her. “Listen, I need a drink,” I changed the subject quickly, “There’s a pub, I’m going down later to get a few. You coming?”

“Is that a good idea? We’re not supposed to be making any connections Heidi!”

“I’m not going to be snogging my pint mum!” I cried, exasperated, “Or telling my life story to my bastard pink gin, I just need a drink before I go insane.”

“No, not a good idea. Pubs are where people meet up, they drink and then they get angry. Then they fight and then before you know you’ve got two black eyes and a broken wrist.”

“Not everyone is Dan mum,” I whispered, sitting on the bed. “It’s been a year.”

“A year is nothing compared to the years of hell I suffered.”

“We both suffered,” I bit back.

Mum was silent, staring wordlessly at me but I could see the cogs turning behind her own dark, brown eyes. Finally, she folded her arms and heaved a big sigh and relaxing her shoulders, “Fine. Back here at eleven, you’re not home and I’m coming looking for you.”

“That’s reasonable, but why don’t you just come along?”

She shook her head, “I’m going to take a very long bath and read one of those silly romance books they have downstairs in the reception,” She stated. “Here at eleven,” She reminded me.

I nodded and let her walk into the bathroom, probably to have a quick cry. She cried a lot, but hated doing it in front of me. I knew she had a whole host of mental health issues caused by Dan; depression, anxiety, PTSD and probably more but she couldn’t get treated without seeing a doctor.

“A doctor?” She once told me after falling and hurting her ankle a few months ago. “Heidi, doctors tend to rely on needing lots and lots of information. Namely addresses, which we do not have. Plus, how will they react to seeing that Mary Kingsley doesn’t actually exist?”

So, there were no doctors. Any ailments, illnesses or likewise would be treated the old-fashioned way. By sucking it up. And drinking. Mum tried not to drink, she knew how it turned Dan, but sometimes she simply couldn’t help. Neither could I.

I hung up the jumpsuit by a hanger on the door of the wardrobe and knocked on the bathroom door. Mum came out, eyes small and puffy, and gave me a quick smile.

“Don’t be too long,” She said, “I want to have a bath.”

Sitting on the bed, she switched on the TV and flicked through the short selection of channels before finally settling on some daytime TV show that was halfway through. Satisfied that she was okay, I jumped into the shower and began washing away the day’s grime. As I soaped my body, my mind drifted to imagining what the pub would be like. Would it be awkward? Would Dee’s friends act frosty towards me like the young couple I bumped it, or would they be just as cheery and friendly as the waitress?

Questions rifling through my brain like spitfire, I got out of the shower and changed into the jumpsuit. Getting ready was hardly a big affair for me and I would be ready before six. I let my hair down from its bun and ran a brush through it, thanking the gods that I was born with naturally straight hair that was more dry than greasy. I tried to paint my face with the minimal amount of makeup we had, some foundation, mascara and an almost empty tube of warm, nude, matte lipstick. It wasn’t red, like I first imagined pairing this jumpsuit with, but it was good enough.

“You look beautiful Heidi,” Mum commented from her space on the bed. “Please be careful,” She begged, “You know how to behave around men remember.”

“Yes,” I nodded, “Always be polite and never reject them in public. If you feel unsafe find a woman with a child or any woman and ask them for help. Do not let a man know you feel unsafe as they might enjoy it. Men are dangerous.” I repeated the lines my mother told me almost every day. It was drilled into my head now and I could it repeat it flawlessly.

“Okay, you can go. Remember eleven!”

I nodded and grabbed my handbag, ready to leave.

Men were dangerous, but judging by the knot in my stomach, I knew that they could be unreasonably attractive too and if that man was in the pub tonight...

I wasn’t sure how I was going to react.