The Wolf Experiments

The days passed in a whirl of activities. There was almost always something to do at every minute. The physical training sessions with Andy slowly helped her recovery and she was making marked progress. But something else kept her going, a thought that was dangled in front of her like a carrot to a needy stallion.

Speaking of stallions, Andy had promised that if she made drastic improvements, she would get to go to the barn. What a thought! The idea of seeing one of the horses up close and personal was enough to keep her going. She was sure that she had never seen one before and even if she had, her memory was not going to be of much help. She remembered the last time she had seen the dark horse in the distance before Amandas interrupted. Now, she could get to see it and maybe even touch it. She did not dare to think of riding it though, surely the thought of that would break the cool veneer around Andy’s face.

So she went about her exercises with renewed vigor. Developed a sense of optimism about her workouts, pushing her fragile body to the limit. Although she was in constant pain, willpower kept her moving forward. Andy had no idea how much she hid because of her high pain tolerance. She called it her stubborn courage. Life would be different when she healed.

Andy took notes of her recovery and offered encouragement when necessary. One day, he decided that she was ready. The announcement filled her with so much joy that she almost burst out in tears.

The barn itself was some yards away from the complex proper. She traversed the stretch of dry grass with Andy and Hawk. She trudged along with the crutches but her guides stayed close so that she would not keel over on the uneven ground.

The snow had melted in places. The slushy, brown mud sparkled wetly in the morning frost, and the pasture, covered in crystals, reflected an ice-covered paradise. The buds breaking across the trees were tantalizing reminders of adventures to come and the fuzzy flowers poking through the diminishing drifts hinted of magic.

Eric was already in the barn when they got there. He shoveled manure and turned over bales of dry grass.

“We make our own horse feed here. It would be such a pity to let all the dry grass go to waste,” Andy mentioned.

As she worked to catch her breath, her leg had a life of its own, shaking no matter how hard she willed it to stop. The blood coursing and rushing through her veins made the healing muscles ache painfully. Unsteady as she was, however, she still tried to see down the row of stalls.

The sunlight steaming through the double doors sparkled like fairy dust and hinted that Alex was in the midst of another dream. But the cold biting at her skin convinced her otherwise. Hawk snapped a lead rope onto a horse’s halter and led it down the breezeway. It wasn’t the black horse but her heart melted anyway when the animal thrust his nose into her arms, making tears tumble down her cheeks.

“The horse seems to like you,” Hawk said. “Maybe you would like to ride him? It might be a bit tricky at first but it is good for your rehabilitation.” He looked at Andy as he said this. Alex could hardly believe her ears and she nodded her head vigorously, sending tears flying in all directions.

Every nerve in her body seemed to cry out, please...please…please! She looked at Andy. At first, his face was blank, but then he visibly softened. “Perhaps a short ride only to conserve energy for the walk back,” he said.

“A horse carry her to the complex,” Hawk suggested. “I’ll take it back to the barn myself after we’re done.”

“Do you want this?” Andy asked her.

She nodded and pointed down the row of stalls. He had become skilled at reading her wordless communication. “Yes, of course you can see the others.”

But the horse she wanted was not in the barn. There were brown horses and three white geldings but none of them covered in the majestic black of the horse she had seen from her window. She looked into each stall and petted each horse as she would Amandas but she still subtly looked around for the dark horse.

It just wasn’t there.

She peered out into the empty pasture and corrals with disappointment. Stepping outside the door, she pointed almost desperately into the woods near her window. The men exchanged a look. A gelding strained to reach her, stretching his neck and nickering softly.

She sighed.

Hawk said, “She’ll need to see Sultan about that stallion.”

Andy answered, “It’s too soon for Sultan and you know how he is about his belongings.”

The words were incredibly cryptic and gave birth to an entirely new series of questions. Why were these people so secretive? Who was Sultan?

Scratching his head, Hawk’s eyes traveled to the woods. “I could talk to him.”

Andy’s tone changed at this. “I don’t want Alex near the stallion,” He said firmly. “If we didn’t regard life as much as we do, the stallion would have been destroyed. That animal is dangerous.”

Alex decided that he must be exaggerating, the horse she had seen from a distance might be a bit wild but there was just no way it was as violent as Andy was making it out to be.

Hawk said nothing more, turning instead to bring out a strong-looking gelding with patches of brown and white across his body. “This is Rebel,” he said. “He’d be pleased to give you a lift to the complex. What do you say?”

The sense of oppression she felt melted away. The scents of the barn comforted her—the sweet smelling hay and oiled leather. As she approached the pinto, he turned his head to watch. She had always paid close attention in movies to the method of riding a horse and knew she could do it. As Alex mounted, her painful knee refused to bend, but still, she managed to get her foot in the stirrup and pull herself into the saddle. Her smile was victorious.

“Good girl,” Andy said, taking her crutches to carry them.

With a lurch, Hawk led the horse forward. The world looked different from where she sat. Empowered, a rush of blood surged through her body, making Alex feel awake and alive. Even the annoying slap of the cold wind did not wipe the smile from her face. It was as if she had waited her entire life for just this moment. The sun emerged from the clouds, splitting the sky with golden light. Lifting her arms into the air, Alex felt transformed—like a superhero, all that was left was a cape and a crossbow.

The horse was fast. Maybe too fast because they were back at the complex in no time. Alex groaned inwardly in discontentment.

“It’s okay,” Hawk said with a knowing grin. “You can do this every day if you want. I’ll take the horses out for you.”

She looked at Andy quickly with a pleading look on her face, her eyes almost doubled in size with a quiet plea. He considered the idea for a minute and then said, “I think it would be good therapy. It will help with your balance and strengthen your muscles. You know, a long time ago horses were used to help disabled people build their confidence, too. I’ll let Nick know what we’re doing. It’s a good idea and hopefully, he won’t have anything against it.”

She did a high five into the air before Hawk helped her down. He placed the crutches back under her arm and they ambled towards the complex. As they turned inside the compound, she ventured a look backward to survey the gloom and the desolate scattering of brawny trees. The dark stallion was still nowhere in sight.

The rest of the day was dotted by moments of watching reruns of old movies and wiping snowflakes out of Amandas’ fur. As the credits rolled on yet another movie, she felt her eyes fluttering shut. Her body was getting too accustomed to sleeping.

A knock rang out against the door and she ambled towards it. It could only be either Eric or Hawk. It was the latter.

“I want to talk to you about the stallion,” he started almost immediately as he stepped into the common room.

She sat on the floor and motioned for him to sit beside her. Amandas was faster and the beast settled there first, putting his big head on her lap. Hawk sat a few feet away.

“Andy is right. It is a very dangerous animal and wild at times. But if you believe you absolutely have to see it, then you should make efforts to do so.” His words were cryptic and loaded with double meanings.

As soon as he said that, he stood up to leave. Maybe he felt he had said too much. Alex wanted to rush to him and tell him not to worry, that he could talk to her freely and that she just might be starting to develop feelings for him. Of course, she could still not walk properly so the first part was out of the question—she could not talk so that negated the second part. He seemed to be the one person genuinely concerned about her and she was not ready to alienate him just yet by going all fan girl on him. That was a quagmire if she had ever been in one.

She let him leave. He crossed the room and turned before walking out. “If you saw the stallion, he let you see. There is something special about that. He is a reclusive beast and really doesn’t like anyone but Sultan. You have a gift with animals. I see it with your wolf, and I saw it today with the horses. It’s definitely something you should explore.”

His words started to attain more clarity with her. He spoke of the stallion with a sort of fondness and it seemed that he just might have tried to befriend the animal without much success. Or maybe he just wanted Alex to get what she wanted. Maybe he felt the adventure would make her heart stronger.

It could be any of a thousand possible scenarios but one thing was sure, Alex had not been seeing things. The dark stallion was real.

Amandas streaked across the snow to his favorite tree. He darted in and out of the light falling from the window, dancing through the shadows with obvious delight. Her mouth dropped open with amazement when she heard a flutter of wings and saw a large bird shoot out from the desolate trees. For all the death out there in the world, life flourished here. It was incredulous.

Suddenly Amandas came sliding into her face, his cold muzzle pushing chunks of the great outdoors against her nose. He plopped down onto the floor, panting and excited. Turning back to the window, she saw the bird lift his body toward the moon. It was a large gray owl. With so much magic, why couldn’t she find her voice and memory? They remained just beyond her grasp as lost as the stars on that lonely mountain road—an endless night that continued to fuel her nightmares. The unbearable frustration sometimes drove her to madness.

Forcing those dark thoughts away, she focused on the stallion instead. Alex sought him out beyond the arctic climate, through a cavern, and into a secret place where a herd of horses grazed beneath the moon. She imagined a lone tree sitting on a small rise where the stallion could watch over them, the wind billowing through his long mane. This horse was a prince forced into hiding because he sought freedom beyond the rocky walls and impenetrable shield that rose like an invisible prison. It was such imaginative thoughts that finally brought Alex a sense of comfort for the night.

As her second week of physical therapy ended, Alex felt fortunate to have no memory of the activities in her past life. In a way, she hoped she had a more sedentary lifestyle before the accident as certainly the pain would be a constant friend for the rest of her life. She hurt so badly on some days that it felt as if an intruder had taken control of her body, pitting muscles and nerves against each other. Her limitations drained her energy and often left her breathless. At times, nothing stopped the agony, but she pushed through, realizing the periods when she didn’t hurt were growing longer and longer. Andy was sometimes her tormentor but what he did was working. Today when she met his eyes with something less than the furious determination she often turned toward him, he smiled a little.

“I know it’s coming back slowly. You’re still making good progress in some areas.” He watched her reaction, or lack of, before continuing. “I don’t think I can completely help you unless I know what’s really going on. Do you think you could write it down for me? Tell me how you are, maybe what you need?”

She frowned and looked at her feet. If she had a better understanding of her problems, she would find a solution for herself. The girl in the mirror was a stranger, a nameless, faceless ghost. She was still no closer to knowing more about herself than she had been when she woke up in the hospital weeks ago.

Hawk chose that moment to bumble into the room and save her from the embarrassment of having to come up with a response.

“Who’s ready for some horseback riding?” he trumpeted with gusto.

“You can have her. I’m done for the day.” Andy did not even attempt to cloak the exasperated edge in his tone.

She heard the message in his words but couldn’t think about it—not when she was about to begin her first day of real riding. The time she had already spent with the horses had clearly enriched her life, and she wanted desperately to strike out on the trail alone. Every ride took her a step closer to that day—to the moment she could search for her mystery horse and just the idea lifted her spirits.

Hawk saddled the gelding a little later, and she pulled herself into the saddle. For the first time, he handed the reins to her and she guided the horse through circles and then a figure eight in a small, round arena.

She tried to fight forming an attraction to this wonderful beast in her grasp. She felt like doing so would be tantamount to cheating on the elusive stallion. Silly, she told herself. A look into the horse’s warm brown eyes was all it took to break down her poorly constructed defenses. The horse seemed to speak to her in a silent but still deeply invoking way and Alex reciprocated.

Hawk noticed the silent exchange between rider and horse and he smiled. “That’s good, you’re building up a relationship with your steed.” Then he shouted, “Hiiyyaah!” and hit the horse on the rump.

The horse galloped away at full speed and Alex would have screamed in elation if she could. The cold winter wind blew dried leaves in her hair and she had to squint to see in front of her. This was the happiest she had been in a long time. She rode until her thighs started to hurt and she could no longer keep her heels down or her back straight, but still, time passed too quickly—even if she didn’t want to admit she was getting sore. Rebel was a beauty to ride.

As they headed back to the barn, she saw a familiar shape at the door. The whites in his hair were not due to the winter nor was the cold scowl on his face as the horse bore its rider towards him.

Nick.

When he violently tugged the gate open, the horse stumbled and Alex nearly flew over the animal’s head. She collected the reins, holding fast to the saddle horn. Rebel crashed against the wall, slamming her knee into the hard material. He would have unseated her if Hawk hadn’t plucked her safely down. Hawk’s dark eyes flashed at Nick but the men only regarded one another with distaste. Alex couldn’t make a fast getaway with her crutches propped against the barn wall out of reach. Hawk busied himself with the horse, perhaps trusting that Nick would mind his manners. However, Nick decided to address her activity and snarled, “I can take this privilege away if I want to. Don’t you forget that.” Without another word, he turned and disappeared into the bright sun, his image blurred by the reflection of snow.

The show of violence was just an unnecessary power play and all parties involved knew it. She fought back tears as they sprang to her eyes.

“Oh hey!” Hawk said consolingly as he knelt beside her. “Don’t let his words bother you. Even if he takes away your horse, you can always use mine.”

Her horse? No one had ever told her that Rebel was actually her horse. The thought made her smile for a moment until Nick’s words came to mind again. Even if she had not yet found her voice, Alex knew a confrontation with Nick was inevitable. Sensing her distress, Hawk hovered over her protectively, trying to decipher the ambiguous message across her face. The setting sun hinted at the approaching hour. Dinner would be ready soon in the commons. Nick had gone back to his cabin and wouldn’t bother anyone. What a poor, hateful man he was!

Just inside the door of the complex, she stopped and when Hawk looked at her questioningly, she mouthed a silent “thank you.” For an instant, his face registered surprise before he left her with a little nod of his head. Turning, she headed for the infirmary. Her tender knee demanded attention. After a pass with heated electro-beam, she headed back towards her quarters to clean up and take a short nap.

When she woke up, the room was dark. The bright rays of sunlight had been replaced with gleaming moonlight. The window was open again and Amandas was missing from the foot of her bed. It did not take much detective power to decide where he had gone to.

Alex waited in the darkness and listened for the tell-tale pattering of his claws against the windows as he lumbered through. The bedside clock kept watch for her but when an hour passed and still her wolf did not come back, she started fearing the worst.

She reached for her crutches and climbed out into the cold. Darkness had crept into the trees so acutely; it stifled her sense of direction. She turned her head blindly, and finally, after fruitless searching; closed her eyes to listen.

She let in the sounds of the night: the whisper of water, the hint of a wind, and the dull creaking of an aging conifer. Although Amandas moved silently, a feeling slowly crept into her mind that the wolf was nearby, drinking from the frigid river. She could hear a waterfall and moved toward it. The sound grew louder as she slid through the drifts.

Everything was going well until she lost her footing, dropped her crutches, and, after a panicked moment of trying to regain her balance, tumbled down the embankment. She landed on her stomach in the cold snow, feeling bruised and bewildered only to see Amandas wagging his tail at her from across the river. Annoyed, she cautiously inched forward, reaching for her crutches that had landed perilously close to the icy rapids and wished the wolf could just bring them to her.

Without hesitation, the wolf crossed the water, nimbly picked his way through the drifts, took a crutch in his teeth and brought it to her. When he dropped it, Amandas barked once, and then went back for the other one. Had she made that happen? Had he heard her thoughts? Amandas planted his feet firmly and let her rest the crutch against his side. With his support, she was able to stand but a sharp pain shot through her head. A loud snort echoed from across the river. The stallion stood majestically in the dimming light, shaking his head up and down. Alex’s stomach rolled over in excitement and she quickly wiped away the cold tears that suddenly and unexplainably appeared on her cheeks. The sight of the stallion moved Alex so deeply she had to restrain a sob.

The majestic stallion was not fully black as she had thought. He had a crescent moon on his forehead. The magical emblem seemed to glow like a beacon. Alex’s vision narrowed to a tunnel until she could see only the horse and nothing more. She wanted the stallion to come to her but the searing pain returned like a spike through her temples and sent Alex crashing to her knees. The horse stiffened, ready to dart away.

Alex felt herself slowly losing consciousness. Maybe she was not as fully healed as she had thought. She slipped into oblivion and her body lay curled up in the night cold, dead leaves fluttering all about her.

There was a lancing pain in her head. It was both alien and familiar at the same time. She had spent weeks in the hospital getting accustomed to it and now it was back. A voice was urgently whispering, “Alex!” near her. This was followed by a familiar scent and she reluctantly opened her eyes.

The concerned eyes of Hawk stared back at her.

He looked both anxious and troubled. The warmth of her body had melted the snow around her and she awoke wet and shivering. Amandas leaned against her, trying to keep her warm. Dots of blood glistened on his fur. She touched her nose and realized it was her own.

“Can you stand?” Hawk asked. “Would you like me to carry you?”

She shook her head and stood with a little help from both the wolf and the man. She tried not to look up at Hawk—tried not to feel anything when his fingers brushed her elbow.

Then the barrage of questions commenced. “Why are you out here all alone? What happened to you?”

She shook her head. There was just no way she could answer him. Did he not understand that she was mute? She shook him off in frustration and headed back towards the complex.

“Did you see the stallion?”

At the thought of the magnificent creature, her eyes filled again, this time in desperate disappointment that once again the horse had vanished. But at the same time, she filled with hope.

“You saw him, didn’t you?”

At least Hawk had finally answered a question that she could answer with a nod.

“We should have warned you about the wolves here,” he said. “Going out at night can be dangerous. Over the years, we released the untrained and aggressive animals that were too difficult to handle in our study and research. They fear nothing. You need to be careful.” He escorted her to her window instead of the main door, since it was closer. “Marcus and Nick wouldn’t want you to be outside at night. I won’t say anything but you need to let Marcus know about the nosebleed.”

With that, he walked away. She wondered what he was doing in the darkness. Was he looking for the stallion, too? His form faded into the woods. But more importantly, she thought to herself, “Why are there so many secrets in the complex?”

She woke up the following morning with a dull headache. There was no swollen knees or aching limbs, just the slight headache. She had gotten off easy and she knew it.

It was a Sunday and she had the whole day free. There were no physical training regimens set for the day. It seemed even scientists obeyed the rule of keeping the Sabbath day holy—despite no one openly practicing any organized form of religion. There was a terrible blizzard out and Amandas pattered back through the window with a large dollop of snow on his back which he shook off on the floor.

She decided to go off on an adventure. At least whatever form of adventure she could get by exploring the complex. She just could not bear the thought of sleeping in all day. She squeezed a flashlight into her pocket and grabbed her crutches. She limped out of the room and the wolf followed suit. The passage was even colder than her room and she contemplated the thought of going back for protective clothing. But she decided against it, fearing she just might grow lethargic again and fall asleep.

Amandas set off down the hall and she followed instead so not to lose him. The entirety of the first section was just a scattering of winding locked doors that could have led to anything or nothing. With no destination in mind, Alex found herself in badly neglected areas of the complex where her footsteps left tracks in the dust. The ceiling and floor blended under a camouflage of gray. Stopping to rest, she rubbed her arms where the crutches irritated her skin. Amandas wagged his tail slightly, as if to indicate she was moving in the right direction. Smiling at the wolf, she moved on. There were so many rooms. Would more people come in time? The complex was certainly large enough and much of the space was obviously going to waste. She wondered what the complex had looked like when it had first been built. Surely there must have been more people and illumination than there was now.

Turning a corner, she found a warped wooden door with an antique circular knob. The door was not automatic, like the others in the complex. It unexpectedly opened at her touch and in the darkness beyond, a stairway disappeared into the blackness. Curiosity overrode any sense of caution. Wielding the flashlight, she descended, almost lost in her own shadow. The light wavered because fatigue and nervousness made her hands unsteady. It was particularly difficult to negotiate the narrow passage down with crutches. But how could she ignore such an irresistible mystery?

At the first landing, she found another door embossed with a tarnished plaque bearing the letters “SL 1,” which probably meant, “sublevel one.” It seemed to indicate that the area below ground was enormous. Andy previously indicated that water had damaged the lower levels and it seemed better to start in a dry place. She pushed the door open with her foot, leaving her hands free for any unforeseen danger.

The scene inside was one of chaos. Broken, dusty equipment, dishes, and long dead writing screens littered the floor. A smart-erase board leaned against the wall, obscure messages like ghost print across the aged surface. Coffee cups, pens and tablets sat abandoned on a nearby table. She moved far enough inside to realize all the rooms were offices and conference halls. Returning to the stairs, Alex climbed down to the next landing, her legs trembling from exertion.

Again, she found a room with equipment but these machines were large and black with monstrous metal arms that pushed through the floor. Maintenance charts hung from the walls, each page initialed at the bottom right-hand corner. The unrecognizable equipment looked odd—something custom built far ahead of the technological advancements of that decade, judging from the age of the facility.

At the third sublevel, Alex noticed that the air grew damp and cold. A foul odor permeated the surroundings and the constant dripping of water grated on her nerves. Even Amandas bristled in alarm. It smelled like death.

Pressing on, Alex unearthed several more laboratories, each outfitted with stainless steel tables and cages. One exam room, in particular, made a chill streak down her spine with the shackles and straps; the leather brittle, cracked, and stained dark red. Unbidden, the vision of some murderous scene filled her imagination set against chilling, cruel laughter. Without warning, Amandas pinched her palm with his teeth, whimpering to get her attention. The wolf seemed to understand her thoughts.

The stench of pain and torture lingered in the room. She wanted to stop, knowing the images would invade her sleep. Why had Nick left things like this? Did he even know?

She continued downward through the sickening reek of foul, sludgy water. There, the stairs finally ended at one last door that screeched on rusty hinges. Something scurried madly away, causing small waves of water to ripple against her ankles. A loud thump indicated that someone or something clumsily struck an object in their haste to get away. The beam of light played over a room full of cages and came to rest on what she realized, with a jolt, was a body so badly decomposed she couldn’t tell if it was an animal or human. Startled, she stumbled out of the room wildly, crashing into equipment and as a shelf collapsed on top of her, the crunches slipped down into the sludgy water. Heavy footsteps clattered nearby, causing Amandas to snarl ferociously.

Alex choked down a silent scream when a large, black blur flitted past the doorway. She shook so badly she dropped the flashlight, too, plunging the room into blackness. As she shrank against the wall, heavy footsteps crashed onto the stairs until they faded to a distant whisper.

Getting hold of herself, she knelt to retrieve the light and her crutches but both had disappeared into the wet muck. She searched and prodded around but she could not find either of the flashlight or her crutches. She was not ready to dig around in the sludge since she had no idea how deep it was. She also wasn’t ready to become yet another rotten corpse in the room.

As she felt her way back up through the levels, she knew she would have to overcome her fears and go back again. Something else lived in that awful place and without understanding why, she knew she had to find out what happened there.

Alex made it safely to her room without anyone the wiser about her solo expedition. She stripped off her dirty clothes and climbed into a steaming shower, scrubbing at her skin and hair to get rid of the awful smell. Outside a storm was building and Alex wondered if the stallion had some place to shelter from the wind and freezing rain. It seemed unlikely that this person, Sultan, would put him in the barn.

When she answered a knock at the door a short while later, she found Hawk standing outside. “I was here earlier,” he said, “but there was no answer.”

She identified a subtle difference in his features from the last time she saw him, part concern, part something else.

“I wanted to show you the storage rooms, so you can keep your apartment stocked with whatever you need. Would you like me to show you now?”

Pain coursed through her legs and her weak knees made any more explorations almost impossible.

Hawk glanced around the room. “Where are your crutches?”

She sighed and shook her head.

“Where did you lose them?” he asked without really expecting an answer. He gave her a strange look but said, “Maybe we can find another set.”

Thankful that he had not pressed the issue, Alex slowly followed Hawk and while he said nothing, he occasionally glanced back at her. After a few turns into the still unfamiliar corridors, he stopped and leaned back against the wall.

“Did you go exploring?” But he already knew the answer and chased that question with another. “Where did you go?”

With a sweep of her hand, she pointed down.

“Really?” he said, considering her admission. “I’ve only been to the second sublevel. I really didn’t want to go further than that. If you want to go down there again, let me know. I’ll go with you.”

Wanting to conquer both the adventure and her fears alone, her gaze fell to her shoes. Alex really didn’t want to explain her feelings or she could have grabbed a smart pad and scribbled her thoughts down. In doing so, it would solve several issues but Alex still felt stubborn about figuring everything out. Her muteness was both a crutch and a shield.

“No matter,” he said. “It’s our secret.”

Hawk was obviously someone who had kept a secret before—someone understanding the importance of a perilous journey to a half-lit mysterious place.

Sighing a deep sound, Hawk moved into a long, endless room with a maze of floor to ceiling shelving. He seemed to know what he wanted, moving off to a distant area to poke through some crates. His long hair fell across his face, obscuring his features. Alex wondered if he had any family left in the world. She could imagine him in some high desert mountainous place, riding across a dry plain filled with cactus—falcons screaming through a cloudless sky as the sounds of drums and ancient chants filled the scorching air. Painted warriors and horses thundered beneath the hot sun and dust.

A crash snapped Alex back to reality. Hawk was standing with a hand to his temple, staring at her as if he had seen the images, too. Instinctively she raised her own hand to her head and felt a throbbing pulse. Did she do something? Maybe it was just her imagination or maybe she had conjured something they both needed.

“Alex?”

A hot trickle tickled the top of her lip.

He said, “Your nose is bleeding again. Have you spoken to Marcus about that?”

Their eyes met. His were dark and intense. She wiped the blood away with the back of her hand as a wave of exhaustion washed over her. Without understanding why, she turned and fled back to her apartment, throwing herself into the bed, head still throbbing. There was something dreadfully familiar about the lower levels of the complex. Especially the laboratories. She imagined her memory like an old radio—one that needed a knob to finely tune the station. It took intense focus to imagine her fingers turning that knob, pulling what she needed into a clear sound past all the static. That’s when she saw the axe—and she zoomed in on it—felt it. It was on the floor of a laboratory. A pale lifeless form covered in blood was a gruesome thing—the body twisted and broken like a doll with bones jutting out of the ruined ribcage. Alex pulled back. It was too much. She tried again but proceeded slowly, like peeking through a door instead of flinging it open. An evil laugh seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. Someone had torn free from the nearby exam table. Blood coated the leather restraint. A boy screamed her name repeatedly from beyond the cages.

Alex awakened late in the evening from her nap, exhausted, disoriented and cold. The minutes ticked by as she drifted in thought, attempting to make sense the things she remembered. Finally, she climbed out of bed, half-awake, and walked smack into a wall. She looked around carefully, wondering why she thought the door was to the left—why she thought her bed was against the opposite wall. Another room lingered in her memory. Grabbing her smart pad, she added another segment to her outline—except that she wasn’t exactly sure where it fit. Before the accident or after? She couldn’t decide. Outside, the storm had broken and the quiet night seemed both enchanted and still. When Amandas whined, Alex opened the window and followed the wolf outside. For whatever reason, sometimes she felted trapped indoors like she was in a cage. Even in the winter air, she felt like a free spirit soaring across the crisp sky and golden moon.

With a sigh, Alex knew she needed help. But God, she hated to admit it. She went over various reasons why she needed to ask but found fault with each one. Andy continued to challenge her knowing that her competitiveness would see her to the finish line but only with tangible things. She couldn’t share her other problems and therefore he was helpless to solve them. It was her fault. Why couldn’t she completely trust them?

Pain suddenly exploded in her head. Her eyes became a phenomenon of dots and lines, and she sank miserably to the ground as the night dimmed. Sensations spread from the bridge of her nose to the back of her head. When she was finally able to collect herself, two long, black legs stood directly before her face. Lifting her eyes, Alex’s breath hitched with gritty force. The stallion stood over her, the heat radiating from his body. Alex hesitantly reached out and the horse’s skin almost burned beneath her fingertips. The stallion bent his muzzle down, blowing a warm breath of air over her skull like a cap, proving that this all wasn’t a dream but very real. But a familiar dark place erupted in Alex’s mind. There was no stopping it. Blood flowed profusely down her lip and as she lost consciousness, the image of the stallion faded from her vision. Alex felt like screaming.

She awoke on the floor of her room in a pool of blazing sunshine with no memory of how she got there. Amandas divulged no secrets. Thinking of the stallion, a thrill of energy coursed through her body. The adrenalin rush served better than any pain medication, and she stretched luxuriously. But a disturbing knock at the door curtailed her excitement. Alex wasn’t sure why she was always so suspicious.

“You look much better,” Hawk said when she let him in.

She waited for his lecture—awaited his judgment for breaking the rules again. He said nothing. Perplexed, she wondered if not Hawk—who? Someone had placed her gently on the floor and closed the window.

“A sensor alerted me to an open window near the sublevel door. I think you neglected to close it when you were exploring yesterday.”

She frowned because she had never opened a window. Whoever had been down there with her was responsible. Someone, she suspected, no one else knew was there.

“Do you want to eat breakfast with me?”

Her stomach twisted. Why was this man interested in her? She was so…was so…flawed! She could never compete with his intellect, handsomeness, and mysterious ways. Alex dropped her gaze from his intense eyes.

“Please,” he whispered.

That did it. She held up one finger and backed into the bedroom. She quickly changed clothes, ran a brush through her hair, and tossed her dirty clothes in the hamper before joining Hawk for the short walk to the kitchen. There, they found Eric whistling happily and setting a table.

“No crutches,” Eric said encouragingly when he looked up, “absolutely splendid.”

“Alex can do anything she puts her mind to,” Hawk said, a note of pride creeping into his voice. “I think today I’ll talk to Marcus about her supervised riding. I think she’s ready to have a little freedom.”

Alex rewarded him with a dazzling smile. The idea of a horse moving beneath her knees, the two of them exploring unknown places together with no restraint made her feel happier than she’d been in a long time. To unknown lands they would travel, her magical Pegasus, to open places where her torments could not find her.