Chapter 18
April
I honestly had no clue what I was doing and I was praying that this wouldn’t backfire on me, it wasn’t as though I had much experience with men. Living as a prisoner and then on the run hadn’t exactly prepared me for any kind of romantic relationship.
I must admit though, Ethan’s expression was priceless and it was taking everything in me not to laugh and break my innocent, sweet smile I was currently flashing at him. I had never felt this bold or playful even…and I kind of liked it.
‘It’s definitely working. Our males don’t know what to do with themselves, I can feel it. Look at his face…he’s so cute right now!’ August gushed, but I saw what she meant.
He still hadn’t moved and continued to clutch the pillow, before slowly moving round to the side I was closest to, opposite the bathroom, where there would be more room for his huge frame to spread out. He took the thick, faux fur throw and spread it out on the floor placing the pillow against the bedside table.
“Am I allowed a blanket?” he challenged, raising his eyebrow.
“If you can find a spare. I’m assuming you know where they’re kept in a place like this, right?” I tried maintaining my innocent face, even though the longer I looked at him with his bare chest and wearing those thin shorts that hid nothing, I could feel my resolve wavering.
He moved over to the wardrobe and took out a thick sheet, staring at his back was no better than looking at his front and I was now praying he couldn’t hear my pulse quickening. He threw the sheet on the floor and settled himself down with a sigh pulling the blanket over him. Clearly, this wasn’t how he envisioned our sleeping arrangements when I invited him into the bedroom.
“If you’re really not comfortable, you can go back to the couch if you want?” I said, leaning over the edge of the bed and giving him a sympathetic look. Please, goddess, don’t leave.
‘What are you doing?! Don’t you dare chase him out of this room, human!’ my wolf practically panicked.
‘Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing…I think.’
“No!” he rushed out “I mean, I’m fine here.”
I just nodded at his slightly unnerved expression that I would actually kick him out of the room. It was quite funny to see a huge and intimidating man look truly nervous and unsure simply trying to gauge his mate’s seriousness. He settled back down, laying on his back with the blanket gathered around his waist and leaving his chest exposed and his arms under his head.
“Is there anything else you want?” he questioned with a smirk, clearly catching me ogling his bare torso.
“Oh, I was just hoping for a goodnight k**s, but it’s ok” I feigned disappointment.
Well I wasn’t about to admit to him just how much I wanted to run my fingers through his perfect peppering of dark chest hair, was I?
His lips collided with mine so fast, he almost knocked me on my back. His stubble tickled my mouth and cheeks as his lips worked against my own and our tongues swirled with each other. My hands were placed on his chest, stroking the chest hair that I had desperately wanted to touch. He pulled away, leaving me a little dazed.
“Was that what you were after?” he whispered, nuzzling his nose against my cheek.
“…yeah” I breathed out, still feeling a little light headed. The intensity I felt hadn’t lessened from our first k**s, which still had my skin tingling from its aftershocks.
He chuckled, settling back down, yet again, into his makeshift cot. I tried to settle back into the plush mattress and duvet feeling too flustered for comfort, but equally loving the way my heart fluttered at his touch. I turned to my side letting my hand dangle down the side of the bed, seeking out his hand. He grasped it, placing a gentle k**s on the back and clutched it to his chest.
“Goodnight, sweet” he whispered out, making me smile at his pet name for me.
“Goodnight Mr. Alpha” I replied, making him chuckle a little.
Having physical contact helped settle my mind enormously, though it still hummed with everything that occured today. I had run for so long, it was simply a default setting for me. But Ethan was right, I couldn’t keep running forever. If I was ever taken back to Monkshood Moon, I would never leave, Nicholas would make sure of that.
While I still held reservations about returning to White Tree, they were more for the safety of Ethan and it’s members, I wasn’t scared of Ethan anymore now we had talked. Now that I knew about his past and what his previous mate had done to him, everything made complete sense. While I didn’t condone his actions I could see how the trauma he carried marred his better judgement that day. We had both made mistakes, both affected by our pasts. I should’ve opened up sooner and he should have come to me quicker. But we were both moving forward, together. I hadn’t told him yet that I’d already forgiven him but I did outwardly want him to earn it, mainly to show him that he was redeemable, that he could let go of the guilt. And also, rather selfishly, I wanted to feel earned. I had been demanded without my consent for so long, I just wanted my affections earnt and cared for this once. He had never seen or experienced the joy and happiness of the mate bond, at least, nothing that was real or true. I had seen how my parents loved each other unconditionally and I wanted to show Ethan that same kind of love.
To look at him, at first, you would think he was uncaring, intimidating, dominant and cold, but the truth of him couldn’t be further apart. He held such a sensitive soul that had been scarred by such spiteful hate, my own heart almost broke for him.
I slipped for the first time in almost a decade into a deep and comfortable sleep feeling safe and protected from my mate.
I woke up feeling lighter than air and so incredibly warm. I was laid on my front, starfished out and taking full advantage of the huge bed. My arm was hanging over the edge of the bed, my hand clutched in Ethan’s. I smiled looking down at his peaceful form. His lips were slightly parted and his breathing heavy suggesting he was still fast asleep. His hair was tousled beautifully in waves, begging to have my fingers run through it. Carefully removing my hand from his, I brushed his hair back from his forehead.
A small smile spread on his lips, as he let out a longing sigh and opened a single eye to greet me “normally, I hate being woken up. But this I could make an exception for.”
Oh goddess, his voice first thing in the morning…deeper, husky and gravelly.
He released a deep growl “whatever you’re thinking about sweet, it’s making you smell f*g divine.”
I felt my cheeks heat a little but feigned innocence “I just thought your voice sounded nice was all.”
“I’m sure” he smirked.
He turned and sat up fully, stretching, popping several muscles and joints, making me avert my eyes, with great difficulty, so I wouldn’t be caught ogling again.
“You can head in the bathroom first, if you want” he said, looking up at me.
“No it’s ok, you go. I wanna lay out here a while longer” I spoke while flopping back down into soft sheets and snuggling my head down into the pillow, smiling at the coziness.
“I think seeing you smiling is my favourite thing” he spoke softly, bending down to give me a quick peck.
I sighed to myself as the bathroom door closed and I heard the shower starting up. He was so sweet and sensitive, two things I had never expected from an Alpha, though that may be a side of him that only I would ever see. I could already feel August preening and beside herself with glee at being near our mate, she was almost like a pup.
After a while my mate strolled out of the bathroom, hair still damp and dressed in jeans and a grey-blue flannel shirt rolled up to his elbows. His scent was so clean and fresh and instantly invaded my senses with its peppery edge. I could bottle that scent and it would still never be enough.
“I’ll get us breakfast ordered while you get ready. Anything in particular you’d like?” he asked.
I thought for a second “I don’t really mind, but I would like something with eggs?”
“Eggs it is.”
He headed through to the sitting room and I’m sure I could hear him rustling around with the fire. I took a quick shower, braided my hair and dressed myself in the clothes I had worn last night. I packed everything away, knowing we would be leaving after breakfast. A young woman was just leaving as I left the bedroom, the smell of breakfast permeated the whole living room and a warm glow from the fire bathed the space in a gentle heat.
“Perfect timing, here” he pulled out a chair at the table, motioning for me to sit.
He sat next to me as he had last night, only this time the atmosphere felt much less charged and as a whole, more hopeful too. He lifted the lids to reveal a stack of wonderful smelling omelettes, toast and a bowl filled with fruit salad.
“This looks amazing, thank you” I smiled at him.
“Am I on my way to being forgiven?” he asked with a small smirk.
“You think my forgiveness is only worth a little breakfast?” I asked with wide eyes, tilting my head to the side.
His smirk faulted “uhhh…no, of course not…I mean…” he floundered.
He really was too cute when he was nervous and I couldn’t help my smile seep through. I placed my hand on his to calm his agitation. I didn’t want him getting cocky but I also didn’t want him feeling as though he was failing.
“But it’s a good start” I beamed at him, as I started to load his plate with food.
He stared at me for a moment, as though trying to figure me out.
“Come on Mr. Alpha, get eating. I thought you wanted to take me home today” I quirked my brow at him.
I don’t think I’d ever seen a person eat so fast in my life!