The Vampire's PA

The day that the vampires had taken over civilisation was, today exactly, nine years ago.

Humanity hadn’t stood a chance, one moment it was the perfect day and the next all hell had broken loose. I distinctly remember the weather on that day. It had been blistering hot and my two sisters and I had been enjoying the baking in the sun on the roof of our apartment building while eating my birthday cake.

The chocolate cake ended up being thrown across the room and smeared against the wall; mixed with our father’s blood.

Nothing could stand against the vampires, they ripped metal apart with their bare hands. Tanks were too slow. By the time the target was locked the tank would already be ripped apart. Guns weren’t really that easy to come by anymore, but it didn’t matter; bullets did nothing to them anyway. Knives were completely useless; it was like trying to take down a concrete wall with a butter knife.

Vampires weren’t really affected by the sunlight like many old movies and books had led us to believe either, sure they got sunburn a lot easier than humans did, but that was it. The moment they stepped back into the shade their bodies healed almost immediately.

Crucifixes didn’t work -I learned that from experience- and holy water… Let’s just say it’s like pissing off a lion by throwing it with a glass of cold water. Cats hated water but it did them no harm.

Wooden stakes only gave you splinters and made your predator laugh at your pain -once again I learned from experience.

In these nine years I had been at death’s door more times than I could remember. It didn’t help to keep count, someday the door would open and it won’t matter how familiar I will be with it, it will still pull me in against my will. I wouldn’t even fight it when it opened since nothing much mattered to me anymore anyway.

Vampires let us continue with our lives as we pleased, as long as they could drain us dry at any moment. Of course there wasn’t much left to ‘do as we please’. No one wanted to go anywhere because they were in fear of their lives.

The smartest humans chose to stay in their homes and hope for the best, only leaving when they had to go work at the farm or when they were called upon by the vampires.

Most vampires tried not to kill us off so much and only killed when they couldn’t control themselves, but others drank until your heart stopped beating and you fell dead at their feet. Even when they didn’t kill you they still left you passed out on the pavement, they didn’t care who might attack you or what might happen.

No one had to worry about the economy, taxes or wars because there was none of that. Every human above the age of ten worked once every two weeks at the farm they were assigned to. The food we grew at the farm was our food source and the vampires controlled it fully. They gave us food and we gave them food.

There weren’t shops anymore, but some humans made things and you could trade them things for whatever they made.

One of the things I missed the most was television. Internet sounded amazing as well but I couldn’t really remember how it worked. Even school sounded… interesting, but I wasn’t sure if I really wanted that back. I had always been a pretty lazy person.

I was on my way back home, reminiscing old horrors. The sun was sinking into the earth and the sky was a deep orange. The dull city was lifeless as everyone hid away in their homes for the night. I had finished my shift at the farm and was carrying my rations carefully in my arms while staring up at the sky.

The weather was a lot like it had been on that day.

I pulled my mouth into a thin line and muttered to myself, “Pull yourself together; you’re too old to be daydreaming like this in a warzone.” I stopped walking abruptly, “I want cake.” I stated to the empty streets.

“Do you now?” a velvet voice asked from behind me.

I stiffened and a shiver ran down my spine as I turned around to face the vampire. We looked at each other for a long moment and I was surprised that he hadn’t made a move yet.

His skin was white as snow and his pupils were thin slits. He was hungry, or thirsty -whichever you prefer. His face was young, but his green eyes told the stories of centuries. His shoulder length brown hair moved in the wind and he breathed in my scent that the wind carried with it with clenched fists.

In the beginning most humans didn’t want to believe the vampires of what they were.

Weren’t their eyes supposed to be red from the blood they drank? Wrong.

That was like saying that a human’s eyes turn green when they eat green beans and then suddenly turn orange when they eat carrots. Does that happen? No, of course it doesn’t.

Granted the vampires’ eyes did sometimes change colour, but it had absolutely nothing to do with their diet.

In the old movies and books the vampire always fell in love with the human and they end up together. Some humans made the mistake of thinking that as well. They were the first to die. The books and movies were like some sick joke to all humans now. The vampires were the hunters and we were their prey. Nothing more, nothing less.

I didn’t judge the vampires though. They did to us what we used to do to animals. Destroy their habitat, keep them in captivity and eat them whenever we pleased. It seemed fair in a way, what they were doing to us. Our time was over and their time had just begun.

The vampire slowly walked over to me and looked down at me with a predatory smile. He was beautiful, just like the rest of his kind and I looked away to avoid his eyes. He took hold of my chin and turned my face to him, forcing my terrified eyes to meet his beautiful green ones, “Why is that?”

My eyes didn’t leave his as I spoke, it was better just to do whatever they asked and get the encounter over with, “It’s my birthday today and I haven’t had cake since…” I trailed off and suddenly felt nauseous at the thought of the blood and chocolate cake smeared over the wall.

“Since?” He pressed me for the rest of my answer as he came closer and lowered his mouth to my neck. He licked my neck and I swallowed hard to try to control my trembling.

“Since the day the vampires saved us.” That’s what we were supposed to call that day. The day vampires saved humanity, or at least the planet we’d destroyed.

The vampire chuckled and did something completely unorthodox. He slowly placed a trail of kisses all the way from right below my ear to the base of my neck. His cold lips left a trail of fire in their wake.

My heart was hammering in my ears and I knew he could hear it because he pulled away to look at me with an amused smile, “You’re not one of those are you?”

My eyes hardened and my heart slowed “One of those who believe the lion falls in love with the lamb?” I questioned and shook my head without waiting for an answer “No, all of them are probably already dead.”

He chuckled “Probably.” His eyes narrowed “You are different though. You didn’t start to panic when you saw me, only when I kissed you.”

I wanted to curse him or something but I didn’t because I didn’t want to die, not yet anyway, not today at that.

“Tell me why that is.” He ordered simply.

I shrugged. “I don’t know; it’s just never happened before. It was,” I hesitated for a moment and decided to use the same word he had, “different.”

He smirked, “I suppose I am different.”

There was a tense silence and I decided to just cut to the chase, I didn’t have all night, “If you’re going to drink my blood, please do it soon, I want to be home before dark and I will probably be unconscious for a while so…” I tilted my head expectantly so my neck was easier to reach.

He watched me passively for a moment and put his hands in his pockets as he regarded me, looking me up and down, “Very different indeed.” He muttered to himself. He turned and walked away from me, “Not today.”

I stared after him in disbelief. Did he really just waste my time? For nothing!

“I think you should officially become my PA.” he said from far away.

“Your what?” I asked heartedly and honestly I sounded pretty rude even to my own ears.

One moment he was five meters away from me and the next he was right in front of me again. “My PA.”

“Your PA?” I asked doubtfully, “Like file papers for you?”

He laughed whole heartedly, “You do not live in the human world anymore; people don’t do things like that.”

“Then what is it you’re asking of me?” I asked, I was getting really irritated with this stupid vampire extremely fast. I’d never had such a long conversation with one before, sometimes they’d ask you what you thought of the weather and then not even bother to wait for your answer before latching their fangs into your neck. This thing was actually talking to me.

“Your heart rate is picking up again.” He observed thoughtfully. A sudden amused smile spread across his face and his eyes lit up, “Are you getting mad at me?” he questioned like no one had ever been mad at him before.

I watched him blankly and then suddenly the words I’d been biting back tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them, “Yes genius, you are wasting my time!”

His eyes darkened and I shrunk back “Maybe I should take a snack for the road.”

I sighed in frustration “Make up your damn mind.” I had no idea where all my courage was coming from, but it was spilling out of my mouth before I could stop it. It was pretty stupid…

He bared his fangs at me and gripped me so tightly I thought my bones were going to break. I dropped my rations and the vegetables splattered on the ground. I briefly wondered if I would still be able to salvage the butternut. The skin would protect it, wouldn’t it?

Suddenly something hard hit me from behind and all the air was knocked out of my lungs. I gasped for oxygen and it took me a moment to realise that it had actually been the vampire knocking me against the wall we’d been a hundred meters from a second ago.

“Very well then, my mind is made up.” he said coldly.

His fangs sank into my neck and I let out a little yelp of pain.

Pain seared through my veins and I clenched my teeth to keep myself from screaming. Having your blood drank was one of the most painful things imaginable and if you didn’t pass out from blood loss it was highly likely that you would pass out because of the pain.

I hadn’t been bitten in a little more than a week, it was a personal record. I had been lucky. Of course I’d gone and ruined my streak of luck by taunting a vampire. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

My head was getting a bit woozy and I think I was starting to hallucinate. The vampire didn’t show any sign of stopping any time soon and I prayed that he wasn’t one of those who easily lost control. With my luck he probably was.

And I had insulted him. I sighed heavily, my frustration with myself clear. I really was an idiot.

The vampire seemed to pause but I couldn’t be sure, the purple dots dancing in front of my eyes were getting very distracting.

The sun was almost completely gone now and the top that was still shedding some light shone brightly into my eyes. I slowly closed my eyes, too tired to keep them open. My body was completely limp and I was at the mercy of the vampire.

He retracted his fangs and the wound began to sting terribly. I whimpered softly.

The vampire licked the wound carefully and the stinging stopped. It started to itch but after a few long seconds even that stopped.

I was so tired.

The vampire didn’t move for such a long time I wondered if he was already gone but when I opened my eyes using the last of my strength he was still there.

My eyes shut again.

The vampire gently laid me down on the ground and the pavement felt extremely warm in contrast with how cool his skin had been.

I heard him walking away and his footsteps faded into nothingness. I let myself fall into the darkness.

It just goes to show you how your life can rapidly change when facing a vampire.

You could actually be having a pretty good day -under the circumstances- and then suddenly BAM! You insult the vampire and you’re pressed against the nearest wall having your life force sucked dry.

Vampires, you never know what to expect, unless, like in my case, you do.

Bloodsuckers that drink blood will always be just that.