The Unwanted Wolf

Mark’s whole body tensed, and he sat up, pulling away from me. I could see his jaw clench and unclench as his mind raced over my words. “What happened?” His voice was surprisingly calm.

“Not what you’re thinking. Well, I don’t actually know what you’re thinking. I should just tell you so you don’t think it’s worse.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm my mind. After how Jori reacted in our conversation, I was terrified of how Mark would react. What if he rejected me too? What if he thought I wanted Jori and only picked him because Jori rejected me?

I pulled away from Mark, knowing I wouldn’t be able to think straight in his arms. I sat cross-legged on the bed and looked at Mark. He was silently waiting for me to explain myself.

“When you were in your coma, Jori approached me. He asked me if I was picking you as my mate. I didn’t want to talk about it then. I wasn’t ready to have that conversation, not when you were still unconscious and I hadn’t even had a chance to talk to you with how I was feeling. So much had happened, and I didn’t want to deal with any of it.” I looked down at my hands and squeezed them tight. Tears threatened my eyes as I thought about what happened next in the conversation.

“Go on,” Mark said patiently. “Take you time.”

I didn’t look up at Mark, afraid to make eye contact. “When I refused to have the conversation, Jori grabbed me, and…”

I could feel Mark tense. “Did he hurt you?”

I didn’t respond right away. I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. Instead I nodded. “But I get it. He was frustrated. He knew the truth. He knew I wanted you, but I wasn’t brave enough to tell him to his face.”

Mark reached over and grabbed my hands. He waited for me to look at him before speaking. “I don’t care what you did or didn’t do. No one should ever harm you like that, especially your mate, who is supposed to protect you.”

The tears started spilling out of my eyes. I had felt so guilty. Everything that had happened to me felt like it was my fault. I thought Mark would be upset with me or think I didn’t want to reject Jori because I was still weighing my options, but here he was saying it wasn’t my fault.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Mark pulled me into him and kissed me on the forehead. “I will never hurt you like that.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “There’s more. When I wouldn’t have the conversation with him, he rejected me. It hurt when he rejected me, in a completely different way. My body was in terrible pain, and I couldn’t move or breathe. I still feel residual pain from it, too. And my familiar hasn’t been speaking to me. I’m afraid I’ve lost my powers because he rejected me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, why on earth are you apologizing?” Mark pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I cracked my eyes open and looked at his soft gaze. He didn’t seem angry in the slightest. “I… I was worried you would be upset with me.”

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. “Because you’re in pain?”

When he said it like that, it felt silly. I nodded slowly. “I thought maybe you would think that I wanted Jori because of this.”

Mark smiled, almost amused. “You’re here in my arms. You have had no control in this situation. Having two mates must have been very difficult for you, and I have heard how difficult it is to be rejected by your mate. It’s a bond being broken. Your circumstance may be different than others, but it doesn’t mean you deserve to be in pain any more than anyone else.”

My heart felt a little lighter than before. “I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for you either. I’m sorry for that.”

Mark looked down at my hands, thinking for a moment. “No, I would be lying if I said this was easy for me. Seeing you in his arms, resisting the urge to pull you away from him everytime he was close. It was painful. But you don’t have anything to apologize for. If I were in his shoes, I would’ve wanted you to give me a chance, too. I admire you for that, Adira. You have such a big heart, and you don’t want to hurt anyone, even at your own expense.”

I traced Mark’s finger’s that were still wrapped around my body. “Do you want to know when I knew you were the one I wanted to be with?” I looked up into Mark’s eyes.

“I would love to know that.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

“When we were at my party, my favorite part was when I was in your arms. I never wanted to leave. I should’ve realized it then, but it wasn’t until Theron took me that it fully clicked. I was cold and lonely, and I only wanted to be in your arms again. When neither you nor Jori were around me, I wanted you. And I knew then that I wanted you for the rest of my life. You were the reason I made it out of that situation. I knew I had to get back to you, so I could tell you how I truly felt.”

I kept my eyes down, terrified to look at Mark again. I felt so open and vulnerable. I knew if Mark wanted to, he would completely break me in this moment.

Mark tightened his grip on me. “When that bastard took you, I lost my mind. The thought of losing you forever was too much for me. I knew you could still choose Jori, but I couldn’t sit around and do nothing. Jori, he wasn’t taking action, and I couldn’t understand it. Did he not want you as much as I did? Did it not matter to him that you were in danger?”

I looked up at Mark, and I could see the fury in his eyes. I cupped his cheek and rubbed it gently to calm him. “How did you know where to look?”

“This might sound crazy, but I could feel you. I just knew where you were. I just got there too late. I’m sorry. I just made things worse.”

I cupped Mark’s face and made him look at me directly. “I think we need to stop apologizing to each other.” I chuckled, and Mark joined in the laughing.

“Okay, no more apologizing for what has happened. We will move on, knowing we’ll be together forever.”

I pulled Mark into a deep k**s, and everything felt so much lighter now. I didn’t feel any pain from Jori’s rejection while I was in Mark’s arms. I would have been happy if I could just stay like this forever and never think about what was coming.

I broke free from the k**s and bit my l*p. “While we are being open, and honest with each other, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

I chewed on my l*p for a moment. “What happened between you and Jori? Jori told me his point of view, but I wanted to know what happened from your point of view.”

I could feel Mark’s body tense underneath me. I knew this wasn’t an easy topic for him. “I suppose it’s only fair for you to know,” Mark finally said.

“If it’s too much to talk about, you don’t have to.”

Mark stroked my hair. “No, you deserve to know the truth. You ended up in the middle of us, which I’m sure wasn’t easy. Plus, I want you to know my side of things. Can you just promise me something? Can you promise me that you won’t think of me differently? I didn’t handle the situation the best, and there are things I’m ashamed of.”

“Mark, I only care about the person you are today. We’ve all made mistakes in our past, and I won’t think any differently of you for something you did in your past.” I gave him a smile to reassure him further.

Mark nodded, but he didn’t smile back. His eyes seemed to grow farther away. “Just remember that while I tell the story, okay?” He took a shallow breath and then began his story. “My parents died when I was at a young age. I never knew what happened. I was just a child, and I didn’t understand how the world worked at that point. Jori’s father took me in at the time. I was so grateful for it, and Jori and I became best friends, brothers even. I always knew Jori was destined to take over the pack. His father was the alpha, so there was no doubt that Jori would have the alpha gene as well.

“When Jori turned eighteen, it was confirmed he would be the next alpha in the pack when his father retired. I was going to be his beta. I turned eighteen only a month after him, but what none of us were expecting was that I also had the alpha gene. Turned out that Jori’s father was expecting this. He knew my father was the alpha all along, but he never told me this. I had been told that my parents were rogues, but that was a lie. My childhood had been a lie.

“His father told me to leave the pack, but I refused. I told him that I had no intention of taking over the pack, but he didn’t care. I knew there was something else he wasn’t telling me. So I started doing my research. I talked to other packs around us, and that’s when I found out my grandfather used to run the Sallow pack. He was the Alpha, and my father was the one who was meant to take over when my grandfather retired.”

I furrowed my eyebrows as I heard Mark’s story. Jori hadn’t mentioned any of this. “How did no one from the pack know this?”

“I wondered that myself,” Mark continued. “My grandfather was killed and his son was run off. No one in the pack knew he was my grandfather, or that I was the child of the man who was supposed to be the alpha. They told us stories of how the previous alpha was cruel to the pack, so it was a relief when Jori’s grandfather took over. They thought he saved the pack, but it was a coo. It was all lies. My grandfather made the pack thrive, but others wanted power. It’s incredible how history changes with the words of victors. The truth often gets lost in the grand stories told.

“I tried to tell Jori and others all of this, but he didn’t believe me. He thought I was trying to take the pack away from him. That wasn’t my direct intention, but it was my rightful place. We fought, and eventually I decided to leave. I knew I wouldn’t win against the lies and rumors being told. I didn’t ask anyone to come with, but those who believed me or were loyal to me decided to join me.

“I took the alpha medallion when I left. I knew I shouldn’t, but it had belonged to my grandfather. If I couldn’t live up to my family inheritance, I wanted to take a piece of my inheritance with me. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken it, but I was angry.”

A realization suddenly hit me. “That’s what you gave Jori to get him to agree to us coming to his pack?”

Mark nodded. “He said he would refuse otherwise. I didn’t have a choice.”

I frowned. “You always have a choice, but you chose me.” My heart started pounding as I felt this realization to the full extent. Mark chose my wellbeing over the only family heirloom that he had. He fought for me when Jori wouldn’t. He was supportive and loving and cared about me and my happiness.

I found myself pulling Mark into a k**s, but I wanted so much more from him this time.