The Unwanted Luna

Amelia

I ran through the forest blindly, not sure of where I was going but sure that I wanted to be as far from Xavier as possible.

I let Onyx take over because of the two of us she was the stronger one right now and I needed all the strength I could get.

I couldn't shake the images that Agron had shown me no matter what. I tried erasing them, forgetting them but they were stuck in my head. Replaying over and over like a broken record.

I thought I was stronger now, that I had managed to put the past behind me but I was wrong because seeing Xavier making love to Bianca over and over again nearly killed me.

It tore apart the wounds that had begun healing, making me bleed once again.

For a moment when he was holding me I had let myself forget and basked in the glow of how things should have been but Agron broke that spell reminding me of all the pain I went through and now it was even worse because I had these nasty images of them naked and tangled in bed with each other.

I finally come to a stop and I realize it's at the cliff, the same cliff I had thrown myself off seven years ago.

How the hell was I going to get past this now? And why does it still fucking hurt so much?

Those images shouldn't be bothering me but they still did, a lot actually.

Xavier and my sister are mated and they never hid the fact that they did have sex in the past so I didn't know why those images were able to get under my skin. It should be like watching free porn but I couldn't separate my feelings.

"I am really sorry you had to see that Lia, and that it hurt you" Onyx says once we transform back and I could tell her heart was breaking for me.

You see for Onyx things are different, I might have had her when shit went down but because she hadn't come of age, she hadn't bonded to Xavier and Ace the way I did so as much as she feels my pain and heartache it isn't a part of her the way it was a part of me.

"I know, I just wasn't expecting it, so it caught me off guard and I don't even understand why it still hurts" I tell her honestly.

Tired of burying my feelings hoping and praying they would go away.

"It still hurts because you haven't fully healed, you need to find closure and let go" she says before retreating to the back of my mind.

"Otherwise you will forever be in this cycle of pain and heart break, not really moving forward but always living backwards"

I know what she was saying was the gospel truth and I didn't want to continue being stuck in this never ending cycle of pain and heartache but I also didn't know how to let it go.

People tell you to heal, let bygones be bygones and just move forward. They make it sound so easy when in fact it is quite the opposite.

It isn't easy to forget, it isn't easy to let go, it isn't easy to forgive and it definitely isn't easy to heal.

We choose to hold on to the pain and heartache as a defense mechanism to make sure we never feel like that again.

As a reminder not to repeat the same mistakes because if we did we would go back to feeling like shit.

"I knew I would find you here" I turned to find Sophie walking towards me.

"Hey" I tell her just as she sits next to me, as I try to organize my jumbled mind.

Thank the heaven's I had materialized some clothes before she came. She may be my best friend but that doesn't mean I wanted to have any form of conversation with her while stark naked. "Hey to you too...Xavier is worried sick about you" she replied

"I tried assuring him that you were okay, but he insisted I come find you since you probably wouldn't want to see him, could you tell me what's that about"

I sigh because I didn't get why he all over sudden cared about me, plus the last thing I wanted or needed was to relieve the nightmare of those images but I really had to talk to someone about it, otherwise I would explode.

"Agron showed up and he confessed that he was behind the voices I used to hear" I take a deep breath before continuing "he also showed me images of Xavier and Bianca having sex"

"Wait, hold up, what? Did I hear you right?"

"Yeah, and for some reason those images bothered me more than knowing that he had been the one sending spirits after me" I reply, whispering the first part because I was ashamed that it still disturbed me.

"Well damn, he really knows how to disarm you babe" Sophie said "But that aside, I am going to play psychiatrist and ask you why you think it still bothers you"

"I truly have no idea but maybe it's the shock of seeing them the way I did, I don't know... they're mated and they have sex so I don't know why the images bothered me"

I shake my head to get rid of those thoughts.

"Girl, what the hell are you talking about...Xavier and Bianca aren't mated, I thought you would have figured it out by now" she says, making me freeze in my spot.

What the actual hell? Why weren't they together? After their constant declaration of love to each other seven years ago, I had expected them to have been mated the moment they heard I was dead.

"They are not?" I asked her, unsure if I wanted to know the answer to that question.

So many things made sense now, like why Xavier was holding me the way he was at his office and back there with Agron, why Tristan was confused when I told him about them giving him a sibling and also why there was no PDA between them.

I honestly thought they were avoiding it so as not to piss me off because they needed me to stay and help them to protect the pack.

"No, they are not...and they haven't been together since the night you threw yourself off this very cliff"

"Fuck...what happened? I thought they were so in love they couldn't see straight" I ran a hand through my hair confused and agitated.

For the second time today my world has been shaken and I didn't know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.

I could feel the old hope trying to rise inside me but I pushed it down. I couldn't and wouldn't go down that road.

"You happened, they both came to their senses I guess...Xavier was the one who went after you after I found the note in your room. For weeks he was a broken man walking, just existing. Tristan was the only one able to bring him out of his sorrow, it was hard seeing him so shattered" she whispered, her voice far away, almost as if she was relieving the past.

"Xavier mourned me? The same man that wished I was dead."

I honestly tried but I couldn't keep the doubt and sarcasm from my tone because it was just unbelievable.

We are talking about the same man that had wished I had never been born and had told me he would have preferred I had died.

The same man that had said he would never love me and would forever love my sister even if she were to choose her true mate over him.

The same guy that said he hated me with every fiber of his being. I don't understand why he would care that I was dead, let alone mourn me in my supposed death. It just didn't make any sense. "Yap, the same man" she replied

I open my mouth then close it because I just can't seem to come up with anything.

Like I said it totally didn't make any sense at all why he would care, he should have been celebrating that he had finally gotten rid of me.

"I get why the images bothered you. It was you sister and your mate you saw together, not strangers..."

Sophie continues talking but I lose focus because I catch a scent in the air that didn't quite belong here.

It wasn't the undead nor was it the forsaken but it also wasn't anyone I recognized.

Before I had time to react I felt a prickling on my my arm and when I looked up at Sophie I saw a small sized dart on her neck.

"SHIT!"

My slow brain finally figured out what was happening but it was already too late to even call for help.

I try standing up to go to Sophie but my legs wobble before I fall and everything goes black. The last thing I see is a pair of combat boots walking towards us.