Chapter 17
Amelia
"You aren't paying attention Amelia" Selene's frustrated voice draws me out of my musings and I turn to look at her.
Even after all these years I am still transfixed by her beautiful and enchanting looks.
But she was right, I wasn't paying attention and it wasn't from lack of trying.
We were at my castle where as the queen of darkness I resided.
My kingdom was sort of like a pack only much bigger.
I was queen to the creatures of the dark, from chimeras to furies to sphinks to minotaurs to sirens...you name them, I had them all under my rule.
"I know, I am just not into it right now, for some reason I just can't concentrate...I feel like something is off" I tell her honestly because even if I lied to her she would still know.
We are somehow connected and we could always tell when the other wasn't alright.
I believe it's because we rule and share the night, her as the moon goddess and me as the dark goddess.
Selene has become one of the most important persons in my life. She is like the big sister I never had, annoying at times but I know she means well.
She and Nolan have been there for me since the beginning and I owe them a lot for standing with me and believing in me.
"You know you could just peep and make sure everything is okay, you know that right?" she tells me.
"Yes do it, I want to see Tristan" and that would be Onyx.
Apart from being a goddess I am also part hellhound. No one knows how that came to be but it is what it is.
So Onyx is the beast that lives within me. She has always been with me only that I needed to ascend first before I could be able to transform since my human body wasn't strong enough to hold her let alone transform into her, but she has always been in the recess of my mind, watching and waiting
"I can't do that and you know that" I tell both her and Selene while turning my eyes away.
"Why not? You are a goddess and you have the power, you can do it but I have honestly never gotten why you vowed never to check on them, it's absurd Amelia" her voice is chastising, she sometimes also takes the role of a mother.
"You know why" that's all I have to give her because she does know the reason why I refuse to check on them.
"And what about Tristan? What about him, he's your son"
"Yes, what about our pup?" Onyx adds in my mind.
"That's a different story and you know that, so stop with bullshit, I don't want to hear it" I was honestly getting frustrated with her and Onyx's insistence.
"Language! Heaven's, I would never understand why you speak such foul language" her voice is dismayed and that alone makes me smile, but I choose to remain silent still not being able to shake the bad feeling I have.
Maybe she is right and I should check on them even if it's just for a little while, but won't that be going against everything that I promised myself not to do since the day I ascended?
These past few years have been a rollercoaster to say the least. It's not everyday that you somewhat die then ascend to become a goddess.
I was thrown into a role I hadn't been prepared for and if it were not for Selene, Nolan and Onyx I would have failed before I even started.
I had to learn alot of things, I went through a self discovery journey that I didn't even know was necessary until I had already begun the process.
It was both exciting and terrifying at the same time but like I said I had a strong team backing me up.
I had to learn how to be a goddess, how to lead, to be fair and just to those in my kingdom, I had to come out of my bubble and became who I was always meant to be.
It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that, but it was worth it because I am who I am today among the best because of what I went through.
One thing I can truly say is that I am not healed completely. The wounds of my heart and soul are still wide open, still bleeding, still hurting but in the face of my responsibilities I have to set them aside and focus on what needs to be done.
It was weird that despite having ascended and having everything I could ever want or dream of I was still burdened.
I was still unable to move on from my hate towards Xavier, Bianca and the pack. My powers were limitless, every single day I discovered something new about them and yet when it came to the wound etched deep into my heart and soul, they couldn't help me.
All I wanted was to live in peace, not to be plagued by my past hurt, the terrible way I was treated but even that is almost impossible for me to achieve with the burning resentment I feel.
If it were up to me I would have wiped that disgusting pack and its leader out of existence but gods and goddesses don't work like that as I came to know.
There were rules and regulations that governed us and no deity was entitled to wipe out a pack even if they were evil and beyond redemption, you had to have the vote of every single god and goddesses and trust me when I tell you there were alot of them. And since my former pack were only mean to me, that wasn't reason enough to destroy them.
The other thing that also stopped me in my tracks was Tristan, Sophie and her daughter. I loved them with all my heart and that alone made me back up, I couldn't destroy them but that didn't mean I couldn't terrorize them. "How are my favorite girls' doing today?"
For the second time today I was so lost in thought that I didn't pay attention and that isn't like me at all, since I started training after ascending I was always on alert.
"First of all, we both know Amelia is your favorite and second you should be asking Amelia that because I just don't get her at times" Selene says clearly done with me, and it's confirmed when she turns around and leaves us. "What's that about?" Nolan eyes penetrate my soul.
His eye are actually honey brown and they only turn red when he is in god form as I came to later know.
Did I mention that he is the god of shadows? That would explain why he was always without a form when he visited me in my former pack.
"Nothing, I just have a weird feeling that's all and Selene as always is blowing everything out of proportions." I tell him while wrapping my hands around him and laying my head on his chest. His hands going around my waist. "Anything I can help you with?" I can hear the concern in his voice and it somehow chips away a little of the ice that is encasing my heart.
This is why I like him and I like him alot, he is the complete opposite of Xavier and the men I was used to from the pack.
"I don't think so Nolan"
"Okay but if you do need my help you know I am right here, anything for you" he was simply the best and that is coming from a person who had lost hope in people but then again he is not a person.
I've met alot of different creatures, gods and goddesses since I left the afterlife but never in my life had I felt quite so accepted like I did with these beings that I had no idea even existed.
They treated me better in the few years I was with them than the many I had spent with the pack I was born into.
It just goes to show that there would always be good people and there will always be bad people and that is something I am starting to accept.
I go to tell Nolan how grateful I am when blinding pain shakes my body and I fall to the ground with a scream.
I wasn't used to pain, I don't even remember what physical pain is anymore so this meant that something was seriously wrong.
"Amelia? What's happening? What's wrong?" I could hear Nolan but I couldn't see him.
My eyes having been overtaken by a scene that was playing out before my eyes...it was a war, pure carnage, dead werewolf bodies were scattered everywhere.
I would recognize the creatures from anywhere, they were the same one that killed my parents, the undead as I came to be told.
But this time they weren't working alone, they had the forsaken with them and the pack being attacked was losing badly.
"Mommy!" the painful scream made me understand why I was seeing this and exactly which pack was being attacked.
Given he is my son, Tristan and I were connected and I could feel his pain, a pain inflicted by the monster that was standing before his little body with his disgusting claws digging into the tender flesh of his arms. They were hurting my son and they were going to pay for it with their lives. None of them will be left unpunished and by the time I am through with them, their carcasses will be spread across the entire field. With that my I let go and give in to my goddess form, give in to the beast living inside me.
"Time to kill these bastards" was the last thing I heard Onyx growl before she took over.