SWNOVELS Chapter Warrior 125
Chapter 125
THEON
As soon as I left Lycantide High, I felt the link to Ryn fade and it felt like I had been sitting near a fire, keeping warm and
now....
Now, that fire is gone.
I blinked, trying to remember how I felt with her and hold on to the memory that I was once normal.
That I can be normal.
At some point, Miro came down from our car, mumbling something about having a fight programmed. He asked if I wanted to come but I declined. I needed to be alone and I think he understood that. After entering one of our other security cars, I ordered my men to take Chelsea home and put her under a strict watch.
Then I went somewhere I haven't been to in a while.
I sighed as I read the sign ingrained in a large stone.
WELCOME TO MOONSHADE CEMETERY
I got out of the car, bringing out two bouquets of flowers. Leaving my security behind, I walked into the cemetery, guided by the dying light of the sunset. I got to my sister's grave first and gently laid a bouquet on her grave.
I had no words to say. She had been a delight to be with but we were never close. I was always on some random training imposed by Dad or on a mission to assasinate someone or torture a captive.
I was barely home. Barely a brother to her and at the time, I was glad for it because it removed Dad's focus on Miro. Now? I regret not spending enough time with her. Because of that, she grew close to Miro and I think in some way, she kept him from spiraling out of control.
I guess I understand now why her death wounded him terribly, and why he tattooed her name right inside a flaming sun. She was his light in the midst of darkness. His warmth when all he ever knew was harsh coldness just like Ryn. She brought light and fire to me, made me smile again and even laugh.
She made me start talking and acting normal.
For Nora to die in those circumstances, I can understand why Miro can't move on or forgive himself. Just like I wouldn't if anything happens to Ryn because of me.
With one hand caressing her gravestone, I rose to my feet and went ahead. Mom's grave wasn't too far and when I got there, I removed my suit jacket, rolled up my sleevees, removed my shoes and sat on the ground.
Then I sighed.
"Hi Mom." I whispered, laying her bouquet down. "Been a while
"I'm sorry I haven't come by lately. A lot happened. Recently, it was a girl. Her name is Ryn Ashmore." I said and went ahead to give my mother the gist about her. "Now that the Moonstone is off, I have no idea what I feel for her and I am scared, Mom. I whispered. "I'm scared that I'd really like her and I guess what scares me the most, is her being just like Elizabeth. I can't ...I can't go through that again, Mom."
I paused, gathering my thoughts as the crickets began to sing from the shadows.
"Ryn made me feel just like Elizabeth did and just when I thought I'd live happily ever after like you always promised Miro and I, she ruined me." 10:44 Sun, NOV TU
Chapter 125
I closed my eyes and exhaled hard.
I might be overthinking things. What if Ryn doesn't spark any feelings when I see her again? What If I'm over her?
I stared into space. What if I'm not? What if she still makes my heart stumble? What if she still draws my gaze whenever she's in the room? What if this time, I am consumed by my desire for her and I don't see the betrayal coming? "Fuck." I whispered, holding my head in my hands.
I have to avoid her. I can't let any woman get close to me..
Even if she doesn't betray me, I will ruin her. I have no idea how to love something so pure and good without ruining it. I will ravage her innocence, lick her tears and swallow her cries. That's all this dark, evil part of me thinks about. Ryn has no idea how much I fight my instincts on a daily basis.
She has no idea how much I want to snatch her up and hide her from the world. When I look at her, I want to bend and break her will, until she's in my image. Until she's mine.
I gripped my head tight, feeling my wolf rise to the surf my mind.
"Stop." I ordered my wolf. "She's not ours."
as flashes of us kissing, touching, almost fucking runs through
"Yet." My wolf whispered and it wasn't in an actual voice but like an impression on my mind - a reminder of all the dark things I'd do to make her mine.
"We are not doing that." I replied. "That's wrong."
"Fine. Go see her then. Let's know if there's even a connection to start with."
"And if there is?"
"Then you make her ours." His impression came with a snarl.
"I can't do that. Even if there's a connection, I want her to choose to be with me."
"Who's going to want to choose us, Theon?" His impression grew angrier and I squeezed my eyes tighter. "The moment she knows how damaged we are, she will run for the hills and I can't have that. I can't have my Bunny running from me." "It's her decision. If she doesn't like what she sees, then she's free to go."
I think my wolf laughed. "When that moment arrives, we'll see who's in control. In the meantime, go fucking see her and stop wasting my time."
I sighed, knowing I'd never win against my wolf if I don't compromise. I wasn't ready to see Ryn yet but I understood why he needed to know. Remembering my promise to bring Ryn's stuff over, I said goodbye to my Mom and left the cemetery. Time to go see Ryn.
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Chapter 126