The Twelve Days Of Kurai’s Mass

(Kurai)

It’s NOT fair! I WANT my daddy to come home for Christmas! I’m desperate! There’s nothing I can do to convince my mother to let Arashi come home…except maybe stop the eating challenge.

Nah, I will NOT stop until I have eaten the twelve days of Christmas! I may not get to see daddy this year, but I WILL become the greatest wolf of all time! G.W.O.A.T! I cry myself to sleep and await the next day. Morning of the fifth day dawns and I waddle off to find Cheese.

“Cheeeeeeese!” I exclaim.

“Oh, early today, are you?” Cheese asks with a yawn.

“I’ve been thinking hard about yesterday…and I’m EVEN MORE resolved to complete this challenge! Give me day 5!” I exclaim.

“Well, today is a rather nice break before you get completely obliterated the next few days…” Cheese says with a grimace.

“Wait, really? How bad does it get?” I ask.

“Very,” Cheese says. “I did warn you, though.”

“I can handle it. So what is today’s assignment?” I ask.

“Well, looks like fiiiiiiive goooooldeeeennnnn riiiiiings!” Cheese sings.

“Really? Five golden rings… Hmmm…” I say.

“Well? Where are you going to get rings from?” Cheese asks.

“They have to be made of gold? I can’t just eat five onion rings?” I ask for clarification.

“Yeah, they have to be made of gold,” Cheese says. “You think someone would gift their lover a bunch of birds and then onion rings? No.”

“Alright, well, there is ONE place I know that has rings made from gold…” I say.

I’m gonna do something extremely risky. I’m gonna steal some golden rings…and EAT them. I hear eating large amounts of gold can cause intense abdominal pain. I’m a mutant, though, I can do this easily!

I head off, about to set my plan into motion. This time, rather than entering the woods, I head for the city. There’s a jewelry shop down the road near a sub shop. The owner of this jewelry shop is a blue hedgehog.

Now! I do not often go here, obviously. I haven’t the money to buy jewelry. Unless I find Bux and ask him. I’m sure he’d love to give me money for jewelry.

Now, sure, that’s what I could do now. I could go find Bux and just ask him for the money to buy five golden rings. First of all, I don’t know where he lives. Second of all, that’s not fun.

I reach the jewelry shop and, rather casually, step inside. The owner smiles and waves at me innocently. I grin, wagging my tail. I hope he can’t sense my nervousness.

“Can I help you with anything?” the hedgehog asks.

“Oh, you know, just looking…trying to see what’s the best item to purchase,” I say.

My attention turns to the rings case. There are multiple golden rings in there as well as silver and bronze. Very clumsily, I weave around the shop. My tail strikes a display case and jewelry spews everywhere, clinging and clanging musically.

“NO! MY DISPLAY CASE!” the hedgehog exclaims, leaping out from behind the desk.

“Oh! Oh no! I am soooo, sorry!” I lie, accidentally knocking another display case over.

I proceed to destroying everything. The shopkeeper freaks out. Before fleeing, I scoop five of the golden rings up in my mouth and swallow them. Bleh, gold tastes nasty…

“GET BACK HERE!” the shopkeeper yells as I flee.

He must have called the police because there are police sirens behind me. I dash as fast as I can, hoping to outrun the police. The five golden rings jingle inside my stomach. Hah hah hah! This was much easier than the previous days!

I run all the way home, my paws burning as I run. I dash into the den and crouch. My mom stares at me the way she always does when I do or say something ridiculous. She’ll protect me!

“What in all the world did you do this time?!” my mom exclaims.

“Five golden rings,” I say with a grin.

“Oh no…please tell me you didn’t-“

“THIS IS THE POLICE! COME OUT NOW!” a voice calls at the entrance to the den.

I hide, of course. My mother sighs and heads for the door. Pleeeeeease oh pleeeeeease do not give me away, mom! I cannot tell what is happening, my heart is racing. I don’t wanna go to jail! How can I finish the challenge if I’m in jail?!

(Suisen)

I wake up and Kurai is already gone. Gosh dang it… I sit down to breakfast and her fox friend is still hanging around. Of course.

So then I share some food with Foxy. She eats a lot, it turns out. This white fox never seems to be full. I kind of wonder if it’s an effect of being locked in the factory or if she’s a mutant just like Kurai.

“Thanks for the food, Mrs. Ōkami,” Foxy says, chowing down.

“No problem… Do you happen to have any idea of where Kurai might be?” I ask, hopefully.

“No? I think she left before even I woke up,” Foxy says, licking every last crumb off her paws.

Next thing I know, I hear police sirens in the distance. They are getting closer! Oh no…Kurai must have gotten caught… BOOM! Kurai bursts into the house, jingling like a wind chime.

“What in all the world did you do this time?!” I screech.

“Five golden rings,” Kurai says, grinning a toothy grin.

“Oh no…please tell me you didn’t-“

“THIS IS THE POLICE! COME OUT NOW!” I hear at the door of the house.

Kurai squeezes her fat little body into a crevice, struggling a bit to get her belly in. I sigh and turn to the door. I have to speak with the police… Standing there is Clay, a dingo I used to work with. Along with him is a whole squad of police cars.

“Officer Clay? Why are you here?“ I ask, pretending not to know.

“You know why! Where is that incessant brat of yours?!” Clay asks.

“No, no, explain to me. What happened? You can’t just barge into my den without reason,” I say.

“Report has it that a short fluffy black wolf robbed the local jewelry store. First person who comes to mind with that description is your daughter!” Clay barks.

“Huh? There’s more than one short fluffy black wolf in existence, Clay. How can you be so sure it was MY daughter?” I ask.

“Because your daughter is ALWAYS causing trouble!” Clay argues.

“What if I told you she’s been here with me this whole time?” I ask, squinting.

“I don’t believe you. Do I have to arrest you, as well?” Clay asks.

“No. Stop harassing my daughter,” I say, snarling.

“Listen here, ma’am! Just because you USED to be part of the police force does NOT give you permission to talk back to me! Now, give me Kurai or you BOTH go to jail!” Clay barks.

Much to my surprise, Foxy appears at the door. Clay and I both stare at her because OBVIOUSLY she isn’t a short fluffy black wolf. She opens her mouth and spits out five golden rings. Clay looks absolutely astounded.

“Sorry, sir. It was me,” Foxy says, lowering her head.

“Impossible! You aren’t even a black wolf!” Clay exclaims.

“Hey, those ARE the missing rings, though, Clay,” another officer points out.

“Okay, okay, seems the shopkeeper was wrong!” Clay says, picking up the rings in his mouth and spitting them into a satchel. “Well, Kurai got lucky THIS TIME! But I swear! The moment I catch her doing something illegal…oooooh! It’ll feel soooo good to see her meet proper justice!”

“And what about me? Don’t I have to be punished?” Foxy asks.

“Nah. I ain’t messing with you, mate. I’ll let you off with a warning…no more theft! Next time, I very well may lock you up with the other criminals!” Clay threatens.

“How is that fair?! That you would let me go, but would lock up Kurai if it had been her?!” Foxy asks.

“Listen, that little wolf is 100% trouble,” Clay says.

With that, the police officers clear out. If it weren’t for Foxy, I’d probably have been locked up along with Kurai. I guess there is some good in Kurai’s friends… I let out a sigh of relief once all the officers are gone.

“Kurai, please… Do not do that again…” I say.

“Sorry, mom…” Kurai says, looking sad.

“Well, okay, actual golden rings didn’t work. Want to eat five onion rings instead?” Cheese suggests.

“Sure! Sounds tastier! Those golden rings were too bitter,” Kurai says.

“Wait a minute! Onions are toxic! You can’t do THAT either!” I cry out.

“Oh… Hmmm… How about artificially onion flavored bread rings?” Cheese suggests.

“…okay. I approve of that. Out of all the things you have eaten, artificially onion flavored bread rings sounds much better,” I say.