The Things We Fear

It had been a few minutes since Marcus had left. He wasn’t sure why, but his inner wolf was pacing. Demanding they go and follow. It wasn’t like they were two separate beings, but the wolf’s thoughts were simpler, more animalistic. His human mind was generally a jumbled mess, which supposedly came with being a teen, but knowing this did not help the fact he felt like a pogo stick jumping from thought to thought and hormone to hormone on any given day.

Picking the empty cups from the table, he tried to make his leaving look normal. Heading over towards the bar first so as not to arouse suspicion. If Theo saw him, the newly turned vampire would likely have some scathing comment or would simply try and stop him altogether. He would go the long way, out toward the front door and circle back around. Make it look like he went for fresh air and simply stopped by the toilet on his return. Casual.

He nodded to his brother and Lara on his way out, chuckling at how the older wolf was flirting with both his friend and that Jenna girl. He tried to avoid her personally, she gave him the creeps, but then so did most of the vampires and he’d spent many long evenings in their company. It was one flaw about having such a small but integrated supernatural community, no matter what your instincts said, you had to play nice. Breckon Heights was peaceful for a reason. The elders kept them all in line. That his brother seemed to welcome danger rather than run from it probably should be concerning, but he was a big boy. James would just have to be there to bail him out if it ever hit the fan.

He took a step outside, letting the cool evening air wash over him. It had just been an excuse originally, but now he was out here James was grateful for the reprieve. He’d barely been able to keep his hands to himself all evening. Being so close to Marcus once more. Having him here. Being able to touch his packmate, his friend, like he’d been unable to for years, he had to resist the urge to carry the boy away and keep him with him always.

It was getting ridiculous, he could see how unnerved his old friend was, but they hadn’t had a moment alone for him to explain. His mother, the alpha, had kept them apart because Marcus wasn’t part of the supernatural community, she’d said he had to keep his distance for Marcus’ safety and so James didn’t accidentally out himself to the humans. He’d hated it, but he’d understood the necessity.

It had been years. Years of watching the boy he loved grow from afar. Years where he hadn’t been able to scent him. Touch him. Hold him close. Years. But things had changed now. Marcus was in the know. He was here. There was no reason for them to keep the distance any longer. He planned to talk to Marcus properly as soon as they were able. Maybe even confess the other thing he’d realised all them moons ago. The day his alpha had issued the command.

They had been in his room. Lounging over the bed. He couldn’t remember what they’d been doing exactly. Maybe reading coming books, or taking a break from video games. Whatever it was, he would never forget looking over at the boy. The way the sun had swept in through the window and sparkled over his skin. James had been struck with just how beautiful his friend was. Struck with the thought of always wanting the other here, looking like that. In his den, smelling like them. It had hit him with a wave so strong no flood defence could have withstood it. The one single thought. Mate. Mate and mine.

He’d been powerless to resist the shift as their wolf came forth. Eager to meet its mate and wanting to play. He could recall the look of confusion on Marcus’ face. It was fear of acceptance, just sheer shock. The door had slammed open moments later. He still didn’t know how his mother knew what had happened, but there she had been, in all her alpha glory. Then Marcus was taken away, and nothing had been the same since.

His mom had gone on and on about how important mates were, but then she denied James his. She had repeated over and over how the boy was too young. Not ready. A danger to James’ and everyone else’s safety. How Marcus was human and did not belong in their world. How James would need to wait until Marcus was at least seventeen.

It had been a few years until he had realised that seventeen was an important witch age and perhaps the arbitrary number held more significance than them both growing up a little. He’d already decided, after the pipe incident at school, to try and get closer to his old friend once again. The day outside the diner hadn’t gone quite as planned. Though Marcus was rarely in a good mood after spending time with his father. At least that was something that hadn’t changed.

He had wanted to invite the other over to his home, to spend the afternoon together like old times. But the words had lodged themselves in his throat. It would be weird, to barely speak to someone for years and then suddenly act like everything was the same. Plus, with the way he’d been behaving, he wouldn’t be surprised if Marcus had thought it some ploy to kill him. Inviting him into the wolf’s den to destroy him. Marcus had a colourful imagination, it was definitely something the boy would consider as a possibility. It had nearly broken his heart to see his mate’s disappointment when he’d asked if it was his birthday. Of course, James had known, but he hadn’t wanted to seem to keen. Too obsessed.

He’d managed to shout a happy birthday, but it felt pitifully weak. Every encounter between the two was always charged with negative energy. Like just a flick of a switch could turn everything back the right way, but they had no idea how to change the path they had been walking for years. He was more inclined to grunt and grumble. To scowl and ignore, than try to bridge the awkwardness. Marcus was no saint either though. He had a cutting tongue and might as well be wrapped in barbed wire for how prickly he was. The two just could not seem to get back on the same wavelength.

Maybe that was why he hadn’t said much of anything tonight. Instead of communicating with words, he had physically expressed his desire to stay close. Be closer. It wasn’t ideal, but at least this way his mouth couldn’t mess it up. Daniel had been shooting him looks all evening. His brother enjoyed winding Marcus up a little too much at times. If he hadn’t been able to smell differently, he’d have thought the guy had a crush, but apparently, he didn’t like how Marcus always seemed to be rejecting his “Baby bro”.

Daniel knew the truth of what had happened. He understood that it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Marcus felt rejected and isolated from them. His mom had had to pull rank and prioritise the safety of the pack over one human. He knew Marcus only lashed out because he felt hurt. But again, it only added to the landmines between them.

Not for the first time, he worried if he and his mate weren’t meant to be. It happened, rarely, but it did occur from time to time. He worried Marcus would keep rejecting him. Or he would keep saying the wrong things which made the other upset and turn away from him. He worried the pack wouldn’t want the boy back. Worried his friend wouldn’t want to come back.

Marcus had moved on. He had new friends. New people in his life. And it seemed the boy was a witch. He had inherited the good father’s gift for magic. Even if the boy did not appear to have much control. He didn’t need James. Might not want him. But the way Marcus had unconsciously relaxed into his body repeatedly throughout the night gave him a flicker of hope. A tiny precious flame he planned to fan until it became a wildfire. They were mates, goddamn it, they should be together. Standing by each other’s side. Not some stupid human (about to be vampire). It should be him, James, and he would do whatever was necessary to ensure it happened.

Taking a final breath he walked back inside, moving in the direction of the bathroom. First things first, he needed to talk to Marcus. Alone and away from everyone else. If Theo or Daniel were closeby, they’d probably start snapping at each other and things would go nowhere.

When the first scent of fear hit his nose, James sped up a little. Wondering why anyone might be afraid here. It was a good place. Safe. but things could still happen. He put a little oomph behind his strides. Tasting in the air how the stench got stronger the closer to the bathroom he was.

His heart was in his throat as he finally rounded the corner. The hallway was pitch black and it was only once he passed the threshold that he felt his ears pop. once inside he could hear the rapid fluttering of a racing heart. Marcus. He rushed forward, using every ounce of werewolf speed to reach where that sound was coming from. Flashing his wolf eyes, the lack of UV and artificial light was made up for by his nocturnal sight.

Quickly locating the other, he grabbed the boy and pulled him away from - something. As soon as he’d seen it, it had disappeared. Half convinced he’d imagined it, he turned to look at his mate. Slumped against the wall and with a slight hiss on his lips. James might have pushed him a little harder than intended.

He opened his mouth. To speak. To say something. To check if the other was okay. But he was stilled with how flushed his mate looked. The boy had been terrified, but he looked like his cheeks had been artfully pinked. His clothes ruffled from a struggle, looked like he’d been getting hot and heavy. His scent cloyed with fear still carried traces of James where he’d been brushed against him all night. James was not a strong enough man to resist the enticing sight before him.

Before he could even register his own actions, his mouth was on his mates. Seering with heat and desperate for the other not to reject him. Not again. James wasn’t ashamed to admit he whined a little, trying to coax Marcus into reciprocating. Nipping at his lips. Grinding against his hips. He could have cried out in triumph when the other boy began responding. His lips slowly, kitten shy and petal-soft, moved against James.

When Marcus’ tongue met his own, he almost lost it. Growling into the mouth of his mate and pushing him further into the wall. Desperate to get closer. He wanted everything. Wanted to take and claim everything his friend had to give. James knew he couldn’t he wanted a long-term relationship, not a quick fuck, but hearing the sounds Marcus was making had his tenuous restraint ready to snap.

He forced his knee between his mate’s legs. Letting the boy have something to rut against, as he left marks along his neck. Marcus might not know it, but every supernatural would recognise him staking his claim. Warning anyone else away from what was his. He could hear the breaths of his mate growing shorter, he must have been growing close.

The boy’s moan would be the soundtrack to his dreams for months to come. Growling again he claimed that sinful-sounding mouth. Devouring the boy for all he was worth. They were getting close. Closer.

The sound of hissing and sudden light broke them both apart. Marcus looking debauched. The stench of fear radiated from the bathroom and smelt entirely of Marcus. It made him sick. He couldn’t stay there.

James fled. With his tail between his legs. He needed to have a proper conversation with his mate. The combined scent of lust and terror lingered on his clothes as he went to swap them out for something else. A part of him troubled by the thought if Marcus had been that scared, had he been capable of consent?

Hearing how his mate had nearly died. The reason behind the stench of fear was because his mate had nearly been the monster’s latest victim, it sent a sharp of ice through his gut. If he hadn’t found Marcus in that hallway, would it have attacked again? Would it come back for more? He partly wondered why it hadn’t done anything with him there in the hallway. Did this creature prefer to attack whilst the victim was alone? He hadn’t heard another heartbeat or smelt anything to indicate anyone else had been there, but then who or what had opened the door?

A flood of guilt washed over him. He’d left Marcus. Found him in the dark, kissed him senseless, and ran away again. He wasn’t a wolf, he was a bloody puppy. Chasing his own tail and getting distracted from everything important. He should have stayed. Should have ensured Marcus was okay. Both because of what had frightened him and the kiss. But James had been too scared. Too influenced by his instincts. He’d pounced like a predator in the dark and taken without thought. Only when the light returned to the world so did his senses. Including his sense of right and wrong. He knew he should not have done it, but in that moment, alone together in the dark, he hadn’t the willpower to resist and he’d let his inner animal guide him.

No wonder Marcus tried to maintain a distance between them. Who wanted someone by their side they couldn’t rely on? They would never get the chance to patch things up if Marcus was already dead. The thing needed to be found and fast, but as much as he wanted to be out there searching, he couldn’t bring himself to leave his mate’s side. The sheer idea of leaving him alone (now that he knew what had happened) filled James with dread.

“We’ll go look,” he turned to look in the direction of the voice, “Mom’s on her way, me, Lara and a few others will search the perimeter, you stay near him.”

He was grateful for his brother’s inherent understanding. For all they snarked and snapped at each other, bantered brawled with one another, they knew the other better than anyone else in the world. He knew he could trust Daniel to search in his stead, and Daniel knew he had to remain here, closeby.

When Marcus was rude to his mother, James had expected his inner wolf to bristle at the slight, not marvel at the inner strength of his mate. Though as a human he’d been amused, so he wasn’t sure why he’d expected his other half to feel any different. The wolf was more enamoured with the witch than he was. It was proud to have a strong mate that could fight even against something that had killed countless others. He was even more amused by Marcus’ treatment of his father.

James wasn’t like the other supernaturals though, he had been around when Marcus had started to hate the man. He had seen first-hand the deterioration of their relationship. Where the vampires and others in their community saw a great leader, he had known the good revered first as a bad father. It had perhaps clouded his vision of the man and kept any devotion the others felt at bay. Plus, he was mate to the man’s son, a careful level of distance should always be maintained, it was only common sense.

James would try to recall more later, but it all became a blur when they said someone was dead and his brother had basically strong-armed him into following. He hadn’t understood until he’d stood over a familiar face. He was pretty sure he screamed. Though whether any noise had escaped him he couldn’t say. She looked like she’d been hit by a truck or maybe dropped from a great height. Most wolves would survive such encounters, and a part of his mind was more confused by what he was seeing. Shouldn’t she have healed before her heart had stopped?

“What? What happened?”

“We don’t know. She came out looking with us. It. it shouldn’t have been po–possible,” hearing his brother’s voice break had him swinging in place, grasping at the older wolf and pulling him close.

“We didn’t hear a thing. How could we have not heard it? And how did it happen so fast? This thing. Whatever this thing is, it isn’t normal. This,” he pointed down at her body in accusation, as though to challenge the reality before them, “this should not be possible.”

Lara had been their friend. As close as family. She might not have been in their pack, but that’s because her uncle was also an alpha. They’d played together as kids. Grown together. Come out to each other. Though with his mate being male it hadn’t exactly been a surprise. However, Lara, with the way she loved to flirt (Daniel, being one of her favourite flirting-banter partners), it had been more of a surprise when she’d come out as a lesbian. The two had bonded over the ridiculousness of high school, the raging hormones, and how much they wanted to eviscerate certain members of the student bodies. Homophobic jerks in particular.

Lara had listened when he’d lamented over not being allowed near his mate. Having to watch the boy he loved grow close to someone else. She’d been shoulder when he’d thought Marcus and Theo were more than friends, and his adviser when she’d slapped him across the head and made him see sense. She’d been his rock. In many ways, she’d become closer than most of his actual pack. And now, here she was, dead.

Perhaps the worse part. The truly guilty, shameful part. The small voice he wanted to drown rather than ever hear again. The worse part was the way it whispered at least it hadn’t been Marcus.

When he’d fallen into his mother’s arms, he’d sobbed. Broken down in a way he hadn’t thought it was possible to come back from. Something within him had shattered that day. Like fate had toyed with him, and in saving Marcus in that hallway, they’d demanded something else he loved. He’d cried. Grieved. And buried his shameful thoughts deep, deep down.

“Whatever this thing is, I’m going to kill it.”

“Mom?” James hated how small his voice sounded as he watched his alpha slump through the door. “What’s wrong?”

“Reverend Domm has called a meeting. Everyone is expected to attend. It seems he is taking the attack on his son as a personal affront,” she hesitated, “I believe Marcus will be there. It may be wise to tell the high warlock that you are his son’s mate.”

“Mom. I can’t. If I told him before Marcus. Marcus’d never forgive me.”

“Then you best tell him tonight. Because if you don’t and the man finds out later, he will make us all suffer.”