SWNOVELS The Temporary Wife: Chapter 36
Luca carries me to his bedroom, leaving our clothes strewn all over the living room. He’s holding me so tenderly that I can’t help but feel vulnerable. I always knew being with him would be amazing, but that felt like more than just sex. It felt like he truly wanted me. All of me. It felt like an apology for the past and a promise of all that is to come, all at once.
He smiles as he lays me down on his bed before joining me underneath the blankets. Luca pulls me into him wordlessly and caresses my back with one arm while the other pulls my leg up and over his hip. I thought he’d want distance after the way he just took my body, and the intimacy between us surprises me. It makes my heart race and adds to the vulnerability he makes me feel.
I place my hand on his chest and snuggle into him, breathing him in. When was the last time I felt so perfectly satisfied? I don’t think I ever have.
“How do you feel?” he asks, his voice low.
I glance up at him, admiring his strong jaw and that twinkling look in his eyes. “Sore,” I admit. “But in a good way.”
He chuckles and presses a kiss to my forehead, surprising me. I never knew Luca could be so sweet. Is he like this with every woman he takes to bed, or did this feel as special to him as it did for me? I shouldn’t want to be his exception, but I do.
“Your pussy is a fucking delight,” he murmurs. “I’m not sure how I’m ever supposed to get any work done again. How will I ever be able to look at you again, without thinking about the way you feel wrapped around my cock?”
I bury my face in his neck, embarrassed, but that just earns me another chuckle from him. Luca tightens his grip on me and hugs me tightly, eliciting feelings in me I should never experience around him. This is, after all, temporary. If this is what he does to me after one single time, what kind of state will I be in, in three years? I don’t want to get hurt again.
I push away from him a little, but his hold on me doesn’t loosen in the least. “Stay,” he growls. “Stay right here in my arms, where you belong.”
Part of me wants to rebel against him and keep him at a distance, just like I do with everyone else, but he’s always been different. Luca has always been the only one I couldn’t say no to.
My nose brushes over his neck, and I press a soft kiss to his throat, my actions impulsive. It doesn’t feel like he’s mine, yet the man holding me in his arms is undoubtedly my husband. Would it be okay if I stole some moments with him that shouldn’t belong to me? Will I come to regret it when I do? I’m oddly scared, because the kind of happiness I’m feeling right now is always followed by despair that outweighs it. I’m terrified that my mother is right.
Luca buries a hand into my hair and grips tightly, his breathing uneven. Being in his embrace is something I never thought I’d experience, and it scares me how good it feels. If this is how things are between us in private, it won’t be so hard to convince everyone we’re in love, because he’s fooling even me. Perhaps we should’ve done this before we went to my grandmother’s house. Maybe then, my mother wouldn’t have responded the way she did.
“Luca,” I murmur, my lips moving against his skin. “I’m sorry for how rude my mom was to you today. I have no excuse, and I’m honestly a little embarrassed about it.”
He strokes my hair leisurely, the movement soothing. I let my eyes flutter closed as I revel in his touch, allowing myself a moment of the peace he brings me.
“Don’t apologize to me, Valentina. You’re my wife, and we’re in this together, aren’t we?”
His words startle me. I’m so used to being on my own and not having anyone to rely on that truly having him on my side feels foreign. Even as we worked together throughout the years, the atmosphere between us was antagonistic, filled with a hint of mistrust and disdain on both our parts. I was always scared I’d do something that would truly cost me my job, and Luca always felt like he couldn’t blindly trust me because it was his grandmother that employed me. This, right here, is new territory to us.
“You said you value communication, and while it isn’t my forte either, I do agree with you. I want to try harder at it too,” I murmur. “If we’re going to get through the next three years together, then I think it’s important that you understand why my mother is this way. I don’t want you to dislike her or blame her for her frequent harshness. She means well, but she’s just been hurt and disappointed over and over again throughout her life.”
Luca nods, his stubble brushing against my temple. He continues to stroke my hair as I muster up the courage to tell him about my childhood. I’m scared this might change his image of me, but I can’t hide it from him either.
He kisses my forehead and shakes his head. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. The last thing I want to do is pressure you into telling me something before you’re ready. Right here, right now, you aren’t my secretary, Valentina. You’re my wife. You owe me your future, but not your past.”
I reach for him and trace over the contours of his face with my fingertips. “I think you deserve to know. Maybe… maybe it would help you understand.”
He nods and gently brushes my hair aside, his full attention on me. “My father… he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and my mother… well, to be honest, she washed and polished that spoon for him. Mom was one of the many housekeepers his family employed. They never should have been together. They’re from two entirely different worlds, but they fell in love regardless.”
I inhale shakily, my nerves nearly getting the best of me. “When my father’s family found out, they threatened to disown him, but by then, my mother was already pregnant with me. They said she did it on purpose, and they called her a gold digger. They tried paying her off in hopes she’d abort me, but my dad found out. He took her away, and the two of them found a small place together. I think he was trying to do the right thing, but I don’t think he realized what that would entail. All of a sudden, he lost all of his luxuries, and since his family cut him off, most of his network started to snub him too. I guess he thought he’d be fine, and that they’d forgive him once I was born, but they never did. They wanted nothing to do with me.”
Luca plays with my hair as he listens intently. “Then what happened?” he asks, his voice soft.
“My parents struggled for years, and I still remember their frequent arguments. I didn’t truly understand it until years later, but it turns out that he’d started seeing the woman his family initially wanted him to marry. I remember the way he’d act weird about his phone, and the way my mother would always question him. I was so young, yet somehow, I can still remember fragments of their conversations. The shouting, the accusations, and above all else, the way it made me feel. It was hell.”
I let my eyes fall closed for a moment and take a steadying breath. “He was cheating on my mom for about a year, and eventually, he left us when I was seven. I still remember that day vividly, because he was supposed to pick me up from school and he never showed. The school had to call my mother, and when we got home together, he was gone, not a trace left of him. He’d packed all his things and disappeared.”
I inhale shakily, and Luca cups my cheek, his thumb catching the tears I hadn’t realized were falling. “When I got older, I managed to track him down. I just wanted an explanation, you know? I went to his office, but they denied me access. So I left the building and hid outside, certain there was a misunderstanding. I waited for him for hours, until eventually, a car stopped right in front of the building, moments before he walked out. A little boy jumped out of the car and into his arms, and he hugged him so tightly as he swung his son around. Then a woman joined him, and he pressed the sweetest kiss to her forehead. They made for such a beautiful picture, and I finally realized why he refused to see me.”
I squeeze my eyes closed and inhale shakily. “Years later, I found out that he ended up marrying the woman his family chose for him in return for his parents accepting him back into the family. For at least a year, my mother accused him of cheating, and in the end, she turned out to be right. He ended up falling for the woman his family wanted him to marry, and he left us for her. While he started a new life, all I really had was my grandmother. My mom was never the same after he left, and I think it was hard for her to face me.”
I pull away a little to look at him, my touch hesitant as my fingertips brush over the ends of his hair. “That’s why she’s so jaded, and why she’s so concerned about me. She thinks you’re using me, or that I’m just a passing interest to you. My mother is convinced that eventually, you’ll leave me for someone who’s a better fit, the way my father did. She doesn’t trust rich people at all, and she’s never liked that I work for you.” I look away and try my best to ignore the dull ache in my heart. “She’s right, of course. In three years, we’ll part ways, and we’ll both lead our own lives. Eventually, you’ll find someone you’ll actually want to spend your life with, and I’ll be no more than a distant memory. The woman you’ll grow old with will likely be someone who can be an asset to you and who brings as much to the table as you do. I’m prepared for that, but my mother isn’t. She thinks it’s something she needs to protect me from, and it won’t be easy to convince her otherwise. I know I’ll break her heart in three years, but in the meantime, will you please help me ease her worries?”
He nods and cups my cheek, his touch gentle. Luca’s thumb brushes over my lip, and he sighs. “So your mother… she’s been like this all your life? This is the only version of her you’ve known since you were a child?”
I nod and look away. “I have some good memories from before my father left, but none from after that. She wasn’t around much while I was growing up. I was mostly raised by my grandmother, because Mom worked such long hours. Whenever she was home, though, she was just the way she was today. Hurt and lashing out at the world. Now that I’m older, I can see it for what it is. She’s a broken woman, and the shards of her cut everyone who comes too close. I don’t want her words to hurt you too, Luca.”
He nods, his gaze unreadable. “Don’t worry, wife,” he murmurs. “She won’t hurt me.” He pauses for a moment, his gaze roaming over my face. “When you asked me for fidelity, it seemed like you had some scars of your own. Was that strictly related to your parents?”
My eyes widen, and I look away, unable to face him. “No,” I whisper, unwilling to talk about it but unable to lie to him.
For a moment, I think he’ll demand more answers, but instead he just nods and leans in, his lips brushing over my forehead. “I hear you,” he murmurs. “I’ll be patient with your mother, and I’ll try my best to reassure her, okay?”
I smile at him in gratitude, and he gently combs a hand through my hair. The look in his eyes can’t quite be described as sympathy, and it isn’t pity either… but it’s something.
It’s something that makes me feel relieved I shared my story with him, when it’s a truth I’ve always hidden. Something about Luca puts me at ease, and the fact that he has that power over me is worrying.
“Valentina,” he says, his voice soft. “I apologize for what I said to you on Ares’s wedding day. Those words would have been hurtful regardless, but to hear me say that to you when it’s the exact type of thing your mother would have had to deal with, the kind of thing she would’ve warned you against… I’m really sorry. I fully understand why you were so hurt, and if I could take it back, I would.”
I shake my head, my heart heavy. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.”
“That doesn’t make it right, nor does it make it forgivable.”
I brush the back of my fingers over his cheek and smile. “Yet I forgive you nonetheless.”
“Tell me, baby. Do you worry that I’d do something like that to you? Do you think I’d leave you for someone like Natalia?”
My heart twists painfully, and I look away. “I would, if this marriage was real, but it isn’t.”
In three years, he and I will part ways, no strings attached. It should relieve me of all worries, but with each passing day, it becomes harder to envision a life without Luca.