The Substitute Bride: Making Memories Of Us (Lois Stone)

"You're the one who didn't stay true to your promise to Lala!" Brian exclaimed, while pointing accusingly at Toby.
Feeling the anger rolling off his body, he kept his steely gaze trained at Toby.
Toby was rendered speechless as Brian's words rang true in his ears.
'I did break my promise to Ayla, ' he thought regrettably.
However, it was undeniable that between the two of them, Brian hurt her the most.
"There's no excuse for what I did.I know that and I'm truly sorry for her.But you seem to forget that you caused her so much pain
too,"
Toby managed to say.
At that, Brian stared at him, his eyes a mirror of questions.
"Lala loves you so much she couldn't bear to leave you," he continued.
Falling in love with someone wholeheartedly was no easy feat for a woman, but once she did, she would love that man deeply
for as long as she could endure.
Reminiscing the past, Toby could still remember how Ayla decided to leave everything behind for the man she truly loved.
Like the selfless woman she was, Ayla made sure he would be fine despite her leaving.
"You and Molly have my blessing, Toby.I'm letting you go so you can be happy with her," he recalled Ayla saying.
Toby's words pierced through Brian's heart like a double-edged sword.
It dawned on him how much Ayla chose to give up just to be with him.
"You see, she chose you over me.She loved you so much and gave you all that she has, yet you did nothing but cause her pain.I
will never forgive you for this! You missed your chance at having that one true love for wasting what she did for you.Now you lost
her and you will pay the price," Toby vehemently said, as he left without a backward glance.
At that moment, Brian began to realize Ayla's efforts and sacrifice to keep the baby back then.

After he forced her to have an abortion, she demanded a ligation procedure out of sheer desperation.She gave up the hope to
become a mother.
A drunk and wasted Brian was sprawled on the lounge when Anna arrived at the private room.
It was a first seeing him this way, since he knew how to control his drinking.
'Toby must have said something to make him drink this much, ' Anna thought disapprovingly.
"Brian, you have drunk too much.Let me drive you home," she said calmly as she held Brian by his upper arms.
Anna was trying to get him up the seat when his warm solid arms went around her slim waist and held her tightly.
"I'm sorry.I'm so sorry!"
Brian cried out.
Being drunk didn't help at all.
Memories of his difficult conversation with Toby still weighed him down and he mistakenly thought of Anna as Ayla.
Anna knew he was thinking about Ayla but she couldn't find it in herself to refuse him.She was willing to be a substitute.
When their lips met, she could taste a hint of spice from the wine he had been drinking.
"Forgive me," he muttered while keeping his lips close to hers.
Anna could only manage a slight nod as fresh tears wet her expressive eyes and streaked her supple cheeks.
Knowing he was still in love with a dead woman hurt her.
She had loved him for so long and she only wished he could love her back.
"Brian," Anna replied softly, her voice a tad louder than a whisper.
She would think of the consequences later, but on that night, she would be willing to do anything for him.
The next morning, Brian woke up and found himself lying in the bed of the lounge with Anna closely beside him.
He tried hard to remember what happened last night but his drunkenness made everything a blur.

Anna immediately attended to him, her voice laced with concern.
"Brian, how are you feeling? Do you have a headache?"
Brian shook his head and replied, "I'm sorry.I drank too much last night."
He let his eyes roam around Anna's body and the bruises were evident on her delicate skin.
He knew immediately that he lost control.
"I'm perfectly fine.Don't worry about these bruises," she assured him.
Anna knew she could have refused and said no if she didn't want it to happen, but she chose not to.
Her love for him made her willing to do anything for him.
Without a word, Brian gathered his clothes and started getting dressed.
Anna didn't want to waste this opportunity so she stood up and embraced him from behind.
In a decisive voice she pleaded, "Brian, Ayla is already dead.Let me be with you and make you happy.You deserve it! I'm willing
to be her substitute."
Brian stilled and thought of what she said.
He hadn't slept with any woman since Ayla disappeared.
Last night was an accident, fueled by strong emotions and heaps of liquor.
Should he allow it to happen again? He knew he wouldn't be capable of loving anyone else after what happened with Ayta.
‘'Should I keep Anna and let her be with me for as long as possible?’' he pondered.
He turned around and faced her.
"Anna, you don't have to tie yourself up with me.You can choose the life you want.One where you won't have to settle for being
second."
Brian pushed her away to break free from her embrace.

"You've always done so much for me and I don't deserve it."
"No, don't shut me out! I'm willing to do this for you.Even if you won't love me back, give me a chance to make you feel my love.I
have always loved you," she declared passionately.
Anna's feelings for him grew stronger over the years.She wouldn't dare give up over his words and risk not having a chance at
being with him finally.
Brian gazed at her fondly and insisted, "I have held you back for many years.
It's about time that you choose your own path and think about your future."
Undeterred by his dismissal, she continued, "I don't care about the future.I've only had eyes for you ever since we met.I couldn't
possibly want anyone else but you."
For Anna, her world revolved around him.
She owed him her life so living and dying for him didn't sound so bad after all.
Ayla's death devastated Brian and she witnessed how painful it was for him.
Anna would rather fall into the sea instead of Ayla, if it meant he wouldn't have to feel that kind of pain again.
That was how much she loved Brian.
She would always put him first.
With his resolve melting at Anna's fervent words, Brian held her in his arms tightly again.
"But I don't have it in me to love you or anyone else anymore," he repeated.
He never thought he'd fall in love before but that changed when he met Ayla.
He knew that this great love would also cause him the greatest pain.
That was why he couldn't bring himself to love again after what happened.
Anna completely understood where he was coming from.

"I don't need you to reciprocate my feelings.Just give me a chance to love you the way you deserve to be loved." She said all this
with utmost certainty.
She'd never been surer of anything in her life than at that moment.
‘'What if I destroy her eventually?'’ Brian thought about this possibility too, but with her clear determined eyes looking up at him,
he couldn't deny her anymore and finally relented.
Ayla was sweating profusely as she curled up on her bed.
The sharp tingling from her bones spread like wildfire all over her body.
"It hurts too much!" she cried.
She didn't know if she could handle this agonizing pain any longer.
For twice each day, she endured the painful torture that rendered her weak every time.
Despite the pain, dying was the last thing on her mind.
She still wanted to see Brian happy with his life.
‘'Perhaps he and Anna would get married soon, ' she thought.
But unless she was sure that he truly found happiness, she wouldn't think of quitting just yet.
Every time she went into relapse, her mind would be flooded with all things about Brian.
She missed him terribly.
He was sometimes tender with her while always ruthless to others.
Although there were times when his dominance and indifference would surface, she was lucky enough to see his soft vulnerable
side too.
Ayla had to roll out of bed and down to the floor.She couldn't bear the pain at all.
Hearing the noise from outside, Lucas rushed into the room and found her face twisted in agony.

"Lala," he called.
He helped her up carefully and leaned her against his broad chest.
Willing her to relax, he patted her back repeatedly.
"Lala, hold on.It'll be over soon," he reassured her in a calm soothing voice.
Ayla kept crying, her tears cascading down her frail face.
"It hurts, Lucas.What should I do to make it stop? It hurts too much."
Full of sympathy for her, he replied, "I'm sorry you have to go through this.I'm right here with you.It will pass eventually."
No amount of assurances could ease her pain right now.
'It's all my fault.I should've protected her from this, ' he thought guiltily.
"I don't want to die.I really don't want to die," she repeated, her voice etched with fear and helplessness.
Ayla clutched his sleeves tightly.
She wanted to live on for much longer, as she wanted to see more of Brian even just from the magazines or TV.
"You will be fine.I know you will be."
It was clear to Lucas that although Ayla had only been injected twice, the effect of the drugs had already spread to the bone
marrow.
As long as she tried her hardest to endure it, the pain would fade eventually.
Ayla couldn't handle the pain anymore and fainted after nearly an hour of torture.
In the past month, she lost weight drastically.
If this went on further, he couldn't guarantee that she'd be able to hold on until the drug addiction was cured.
It was already noon when she woke up.

Lucas positioned himself beside her on the bed and took her in his arms.
"Lucas," she called softly.
"Are you feeling better now?" he asked.
He constantly feared that her condition would become fatal.
Each time she woke up, he felt a great sense of relief, especially upon hearing her voice no matter how weak it was.
"Yes, I'm fine."
Ayla smiled warmly at him, her radiant face much different from when she doubled over in pain hours ago.
Looking out the window, she felt comfortable when she saw the sun rays.
It meant that another day passed and she was able to survive.
'Live one more day, ' she kept it as a mantra in her mind.
With all that she'd been experiencing, this humble goal seemed like the greatest one she had to attain yet.
"It's better for you to lie down and take some rest," Lucas said to her.
After helping her get settled on the bed, he went out of the room and fetched the food that the servant prepared.
It was unclear how long she could keep going.
Her body had grown even weaker each time her disease relapsed.
Still, she didn't want to disappoint Lucas for all that he had done for her.
That was why she always managed to finish the food despite the struggle.
Lucas gazed adoringly at Ayla while she ate.
With her being relaxed like this, he believed everything would be fine in the future.
The comfortable silence was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing.

It was Tatum on the other end.
"I have to answer this call.Enjoy your meal," Lucas said.
Ayla simply nodded and he went out of the room to take the call.
Alone with her thoughts, she knew Lucas had already done a lot for her.
She could also see how she seemed to be dragging him down with her.
'Do we have to keep going like this?' she asked herself.