The Stars are Dying: Chapter 10
We didn’t pause for anything, racing through the forest then slowing when we merged into a town to avoid being seen.
Pressed against an alley wall, Cassia turned to me with a deadly focus. “I need to be back at the Keep for the send-off. Stay with Calix. I’ll meet you down the road out of the city soon.” She forced a smile, and I could only imagine the frightened child I must look to her.
I nodded, trying to pull myself together with even a shred of the confidence Cassia radiated.
Exchanging one look with the guard, Cassia nodded to him in a silent language I would never understand.
“Let’s go,” Calix grumbled to me, hooking my arm as Cassia took off.
I shrugged out of his hold but said nothing, following his command until we came to a wide road crammed with bodies, whose excitement filled my senses. My breathing became labored at the thought of squeezing between them. Some looked to Calix, offering respect upon seeing his uniform and moving out of his path where there was space to do so. He didn’t keep track of me, and I rushed to keep up before any gap could stretch between us.
Compelled to look back, my horror spiked.
“Keep up,” Calix said, low to my ear, and his annoyance was clear.
“It’s Hektor’s men,” I mumbled, watching the brute forces charging through the masses.
Women with blonde hair or those with hoods up were spun around as they searched for me with no degree of respect. Calix swore, and this time I allowed him to pull me along, tripping over myself, but he added a speed I had no choice but to match. My heart raced, bringing on dizzy spells, while the air offered little to inhale clearly. I couldn’t go back there. I wouldn’t go back there.
Hektor was dead, and I could only imagine with a churning in my stomach the revenge his lethal followers would take on me.
“Hood up, Astraea,” Calix reprimanded.
I shook myself for being so flustered and not thinking straight. As we came to the end of the tightest cluster, I stuffed all my silver hair into my hood. Bodies tapered off, and we headed away from the direction the majority of the town skipped toward.
An arm hooked around my middle, its owner so tall and built he took me off my feet, and I cried out.
“Did you think you could get away, girl?” he snarled.
Calix drew his sword but didn’t brace to fight. I locked eyes with him in terror, but his own were conflicted. His eyes scanned at least three men from the pattern of his observation. And he stayed silent.
“There is nothing Hektor prized more than you. I think it’s about time you tell us why,” another said, leaning in so close I felt his breath on my ear.
I was a frightened deer too spooked to move, and I was without the dagger Cassia had taken from me. “I don’t know why,” I whispered, but they would not believe me.
The one who held me took one step back, clutching me tight, and all I could do was silently plead to Calix—though I had no right to ask for his help against three men. His fist flexed around his sword; his jaw worked. Calculating…or debating.
It was over.
Choking rattled through my ears as his hold on me relaxed enough that I could seize my chance. I surged deep within myself to drag forth the sense of survival I wanted. To fight for the life and freedom I deserved. My hand wrapped around a dagger from his belt, and as I whirled away I pinned the point to him.
I didn’t need to as the three men fell to their knees. The sight of the bloodied arrow tip through each of their chests churned my stomach. Silence pierced me as I looked around for my savior, but all I found were lingering humans with mouths wide as though they were screaming, but I could not hear them.
Nyte didn’t reveal himself, and maybe I would never know if it was him who’d saved me. I wanted him to speak to my mind, but it was silent. Even as I glanced again at the bodies and felt nothing at the sight of death.
I turned to Calix, and we stared off for a long moment. He looked at me as if I had killed them, eyes wide with confusion and maybe an inkling of fear. I didn’t know what to say to him when all that flashed within me was the moment I would never forget—a second where I wasn’t certain he wouldn’t have let them take me.
“Let’s go,” I said, surprised by my own calm and how my feet obeyed.
I didn’t look back.
Calix hung back from me for some time. I didn’t care, powering ahead and only waiting for the moment he would tell me to stop or where to go. The incident with Hektor’s men wouldn’t stop replaying in my mind, though not for the reasons I expected.
I wanted to know if Nyte had been there, and occasionally my sights strayed as if I would catch something that might give him away. A stroke of darkness through the trees or a note of mint on the wind.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t quicker to react.” Calix broke the silence at last.
I almost huffed a laugh. “No need to apologize. It would have saved you my intolerable company for however long we are to venture for.”
“It wasn’t because of that. I just… There were a lot of them.”
I didn’t point out I’d seen him emerge triumphant in combat against four men. Though he seemed to know his own words were bullshit.
“You’re nothing but a danger to her.”
I did laugh then, lacking any humor. “You’re right,” I said, and I stopped walking to face him. “But you are also wrong, Calix. Cassia is my friend, and I am hers, though it seems you’ve never understood what that means. I would lay down my life for her—perhaps faster than you.”
I knew the remark would earn the glare of defense that hardened his features. “What did you do back there?” His tone turned accusatory.
“You were watching me the whole time.”
“Someone killed those men.”
“What are you implying?”
“Who are you, Astraea? All this time since you barged into Cassia’s life she might have been content with your secrets, but I am not.”
“I don’t have secrets,” I hissed.
“Hektor?”
“She knew about him.”
“But not his treatment of you.”
“Because look what happened!” My chest heaved and my eyes pricked with shame. “I knew my life with him wasn’t conventional. I loved him. I thought I loved him. Yet I also thought his cruelty was kindness. He kept me safe.”
“From what?”
“Everything. I— I don’t know.”
Calix shook his head, and my cheeks heated in embarrassment.
“Think what you want of me. I don’t need your approval.”
Finally, his features began to soften. My fists clamped tight, fingernails digging into my palm, because I would not show that my trembling insecurity had been provoked by him.
“I wish I could be sorry,” he admitted. “But I will always put Cassia’s safety above anything, no matter what it makes me seem to you or anyone else.”
My shoulders relaxed with the common ground we stood on. I couldn’t take his distaste for me personally when I resonated with him on that despite everything.
The rattle of wheels across stone alerted us both, and I turned to spy the carriage in the distance. We watched it approach, but just before it could stop Calix crept up close to me.
“You have only ever been a danger to her.”
I couldn’t swallow past the marble growing in my throat, but I smiled at the carriage when the door was flung open and Cassia’s bright grin greeted us through it. With the echoes of Calix’s words, accepting her hand inspired a twinge of selfishness. I wouldn’t let him drive us apart.
“How was the send-off?” I asked, settling in close by her side when Calix sat opposite her. I refused to let his face dampen my rising mood.
Cassia groaned, and I chuckled. “Wildly over-the-top. As though it doesn’t only add pressure to the situation.”
I squeezed her arm but had no words of comfort for where we were heading.
“How are you holding up?” she asked, twisting on the bench to give me her full attention.
I mirrored her. Her question threatened to bring too much to the surface at once. Things I didn’t want to confront right now. “Can we talk about something else?”
Cassia gave a knowing smile with her nod. She drew back her cloak, working on a buckle before extending the sheathed dagger to me.
My eyes lit up at the sight of the black wings.
“You haven’t given it a name,” Cassia mused as I took it.
Fixing the holster to my thigh, I hummed. “I didn’t know it needed one.”
“All great blades have a name. Right, Calix?”
Maybe it was childish of me to refuse to look at him and busy myself with a buckle instead, but his last words to me were still branded deep, and I knew I’d see them on repeat in his eyes.
“For warriors, yes.”
I ground my teeth.
“Then Astraea’s should have one,” Cassia chirped.
I flashed her a look of surprise and blushed. “I’m hardly that,” I muttered.
“Not in that clothing,” Cassia observed.
I fixed my cloak to cover my ruined white gown again. “There was hardly the time to consider better options.”
“We’ll get you something more fitting in the first town.”
I nodded gratefully, and though her voice always soothed me with the only safety and comfort I knew…I wanted silence. For time to still for a moment so I could face what I had done. All that I had run from.
Looking out the small window, I eased over to it, leaning my head against the velvet side and watching the glow of twilight spill across the passing trees. I stared through them, but flashes of the soulless I’d encountered skipped my pulse, so instead I watched the rolling clouds as exhaustion crept up to me. But I wanted to witness the stars awakening.
“I’m glad you’re here, Astraea,” Cassia said softly.
My brow pinched. “I’m glad you came.”
I didn’t know how much time had passed when I gave over to a moment of rest. The carriage jostled steadily, but it was dark—I could tell from the fluttering of my heavy lids.
“She could have gotten you killed,” Calix said quietly.
“You’re afraid of the Libertatem. Don’t take that out on her, please. I need you both.”
“Cass…” He breathed her name with a soft yearning I’d never heard before.
I peeked again and found them sitting intimately close. Cassia’s palm met his cheek, and at the same time they leaned for each other. I clamped my eyes shut when they kissed. My body grew hot, my presence an intrusion on their intimacy, and I tried to tune them out.
My chest clenched for them. I wished for them to be happy, yet despite them having the freedom to give in to each other out here, we all knew the clock was ticking. Moments together were to be treasured, and I was glad they were making them count at least.
I wanted to look outside, to glance up at the night and find my own peace, but I kept still and silent, feigning sleep. Instead I found my mind slowly flooding with midnight swirls and starlit pools. I nestled contentedly into the corner of the carriage as a slow, familiar song joined the tango of constellations, and soon I was dancing with them.