The Star (Charleston Condors Book 1)

THEY WERE BOTH QUIET on the way home from the bar.

Riley couldn’t blame Landry for being quiet. It was a big deal to come out, requiring a lot of re-aligning of your worldview when you finally acknowledged what you’d always believed wasn’t necessarily the truth any longer.

Maybe Landry hadn’t explicitly said he was queer. But the implication had been there.

Landry pulled his SUV into the garage. “We still good to leave at the same time tomorrow?” he asked as they got out of the car.

“Yeah,” Riley said. He hesitated as they entered the house. He wanted to say something. Wanted to say, it’s okay, I know coming out can be tough. You’re allowed to struggle with this. But all his good intentions were tangled up with his crush and the desperate hope Landry might actually feel the same, and he didn’t know how to address one without bringing up the other.

You know how we’ve almost kissed twice?

Let’s try that again. With no interruptions this time.

I promise you’ll like it. I know I’m gonna love it.

But Landry’s expression was closed off, his eyes tired, and Riley felt the pull of exhaustion, too, and he didn’t try to stop him when Landry said he was going to bed.

He felt keyed up from the adrenaline and shaky from all the excess desire and an itch he hadn’t been able to scratch, not for days, not for years, but to Riley’s surprise, when he collapsed into bed, sleep took him almost immediately.

When he woke up the next morning, for a second, he felt a pang of disappointment—why hadn’t he just kissed Landry, damn the consequences, when they’d gotten home?—followed by an inevitable excitement.

Today was the last day of practice before they left tomorrow morning for the last preseason game.

His first NFL game where he was listed, officially, as QB1.

It was hard to be disappointed when a lifelong dream was about to become reality.

Tonight, he promised himself, as he got ready to go to the practice facility, you’ll talk to Landry tonight.

You’re at least gonna tell him it’s okay to struggle. That he can talk to you.

Landry was quiet when he got downstairs.

Maybe that was normal. Maybe there was nothing unusual about the way he was acting—after all, Riley didn’t personally know him all that well yet—but there was also the possibility none of this was normal, and Landry was struggling.

“You okay?” Riley asked after he slid onto one of the barstools.

Landry glanced over at him, a crease forming between his golden brown brows. “I’m fine,” he said.

But Riley was pretty sure he didn’t sound fine.

“You’re sure you don’t want to talk about anything?” Maybe about how it feels like you came out to me yesterday? We should talk about that. Or not talk at all. That could work, too.

Landry shot him a look. “What would I want to talk about?” he said.

Riley rolled his eyes as he finished his protein shake. “Nothing,” he said.

Unfortunately, they only had half an hour before he needed to be in the biggest conference room for the pre-game offensive meeting.

There was no time to yank that tablet out of Landry’s hands as he endlessly scrolled through Facebook and demand that he look at him, that he talk to him about what he was going through.

It was frustrating, but after another mostly silent ride to the Condors’ facility, Riley forced himself to let it go. He knew it was a distraction, and what he needed, more than anything else, was to focus on the upcoming game. Getting prepared to play in an NFL game was a major undertaking, and he’d only had a few days to do it.

He was running an entirely new offensive scheme, and Coach Kelley and Coach Oscar were putting together new plays as fast as he could digest them.

He’d seen Landry a dozen times: at the first meeting of the day, then at lunch, sitting with Beck and Jem, and then at practice. But only once had it seemed like Landry had even registered his presence.

When he’d come into the wide receiver room and caught Carter grilling him about his crush.

Riley should’ve been embarrassed. If his crush was obvious enough that even Carter freaking Maxwell could see it, it was obvious. But Landry, other than a frown, didn’t seem to even notice he was there.

Practice was more of the same. Endless adjustments. Running the same play a dozen times, then two dozen, until they got it exactly right.

By the time practice ended, Riley was worn out, brain buzzing with too much input, and he just wanted quiet for a moment.

“You stayin’ after?” Carter asked as they got dressed. “Break down the practice tape?”

He should. He believed that was part of his obligation as the starting quarterback, but he just needed…well, to not prepare for another second.

That was what he needed.

He needed to lock himself in a closet and just not think for a minute.

Maybe an hour.

“No,” Charlie said, leaning in from his other side. “No, we’re not doing that today. We can go over some stuff tomorrow before the walk-through, but I can see it in your eyes, Flynn. You’re overloaded. Go home. Try not to think for a while.”

There were lots of things he could do if he wasn’t thinking.

Make dinner.

Watch a movie where lots of things blow up.

Kiss your older brother’s best friend.

God only knew where that last, very rogue thought had come from.

But it had popped into Riley’s head before he could stop it.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Riley said, even though it wasn’t like Charlie was wrong. He just didn’t want anyone to get the impression he wasn’t putting the work in.

That this game on Sunday wasn’t one of the most important in his life, even if it was just a preseason game.

But the intentions he set for this week and the way he played during this game and the next few would all have an indelible impact on his career.

If he wanted to make it, if he wanted to solidify his reputation as a starting quarterback in the NFL, playing great during this first month was the best way to do it.

“I’m sure,” Charlie said, patting him on the back. “Seriously, I know Coach Kelley, and I think you’ve come a long way, even though it’s only been a few days. You’ve got this.”

“Thanks,” Riley said, meaning it.

“You’ve got a big career ahead of you,” Charlie said, shooting him a disarming smile. “Remember me when I’m just a footnote, yeah?”

“Well, yeah,” Riley said. “How could I not? I…I really appreciate you stepping up and coaching me like this. You didn’t have to.”

Charlie just shrugged. “I know it’s a lot. And sometimes a lot is too much, you know?”

Riley knew.

“Exactly,” Charlie continued. “Seriously. Go home. Rest. Do something stupid. Something brainless. It’ll help.”

Riley was pretty sure Charlie didn’t mean, kiss your brother’s best friend, but somehow his gaze found Landry across the locker room as he chatted with Beck.

“I will,” Riley promised.

“Yeah, you will,” Carter teased. “I know exactly what’s goin’ on here.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Riley had a feeling he knew where this was headed.

“I mean, yeah, Landry’s hot. But he’s kinda serious, don’t you think?” Carter said, frowning.

He was. Exactly why Riley liked him. You always knew where you stood with Landry.

Except right now, of course.

“We’re just friends, Carter. I already told you that.” He had, last night when Carter had questioned him about their roommate status.

He grabbed his bag and headed over to where Landry was standing.

“You ready to go?” he asked.

Landry turned, looking surprised. “You’re not staying?”

“Nope. Going home. Not thinking for a whole evening. That was Charlie’s suggestion.”

Landry nodded. “It was a lot today.”

“Yeah,” Riley agreed. “I’ll make dinner, and we’ll watch something brainless on TV.” And not talk about the six-ton elephant in the room.

Landry didn’t know why he hadn’t texted either one of his brothers.

He knew he should have, especially after he’d spent most of the night tossing and turning, trying to decide what he should do about the growing tension between him and Riley.

He knew Riley was just trying to help—there was no question he’d realized some of Landry’s internal strife as they’d sat at the kitchen counter this morning—but the problem was, he couldn’t be both the problem and the solution.

With that thought in mind, he’d texted his twin sister Lyla right before he’d stepped into the big offensive game plan meeting.

Question of the day: you ever wonder how we ended up so freaking straight when Levi and Logan so aren’t?

During the meeting, he’d felt his phone buzz once and then twice. And then a third time.

On his way down to the wide receiver room after the meeting, he glanced at his phone.

Lyla had texted him twice.

No…

And then: Is there something you’re trying to tell me?

Landry’s stomach cramped. It wasn’t that he thought his newfound sexuality was going to be a problem—he knew his family would barely blink when they found out—but instead, he felt himself hung-up on the bigger detail of what it was going to mean.

He still worried he’d been in denial this whole time. At least until Riley had forcibly pried his eyes open.

The third message wasn’t from Lyla, but from Logan.

Do we still need to have the talk?

God, he did not want to have a talk—especially the talk—with either of his younger brothers.

No, he texted back to Logan.

Seems like we might. You know sexuality’s a sliding scale.

That was what he’d always been told, and Landry had thought he’d understood.

But it turned out that knowing it when it was someone else and knowing it when it was him made logical acceptance much tougher.

I didn’t say anything, Landry texted back.

Logan’s answer came through almost immediately, just as Landry pushed open the door to the wide receiver room.

To the image of Riley sitting on the desk, Carter practically between his legs.

He ground his teeth together before trying to marshal his thoughts into something that didn’t resemble jealous rage.

“You alright, dude?” Carter asked innocently.

Like the guy had an innocent freaking bone in his body.

“I’m fine,” Landry said, trying very hard not to stomp over to the mini-fridge to grab a bottle of Gatorade.

His phone buzzed again, and he glanced down. You didn’t have to, Logan had replied.

He should be a lot happier that his family was so freaking accepting, and he was happy. Relieved and happy. Of course that didn’t mean he understood exactly what had happened in the first place. Maybe being Riley-sexual was a thing.

It sure seemed to have hit Carter hard.

Landry ground his teeth together. Pulled up his text conversation with his sister. Thanks for telling Logan, he sent her.

Sorry, she replied back almost immediately, but it kinda slipped out. But it’s okay, right? We all love you. You know that.

Oh, he knew it. Lyla knew it, too. Knew he wouldn’t really be mad.

Yeah, yeah, Landry sent back. I love you, too.

“I’m gonna go, but thanks for the advice,” Riley said, jumping down from the desk. “See you later, Landry.”

Landry had assumed Riley would join the post-practice film session as he had the last few days, so he’d expected to have some time to gather his thoughts.

But then Charlie had canceled it—actually, in retrospect, it was a good idea because the deeper they’d gotten into practice, the tighter and tighter Riley wound himself up.

Riley exploding would not be a good idea.

Not for Landry and not for the Condors.

So instead of getting his time to try to compartmentalize what he was feeling and what they were even doing, he and Riley had headed home together.

Now Riley was in his kitchen, in sweatpants that clung to his thighs and ass in a way that Landry was trying—and failing—to ignore, cooking them dinner.

“You’re making me nervous,” Riley said, chuckling under his breath as he put a pan on the stove. “I promise I’m not going to burn your house down.”

“I don’t think that,” Landry said, embarrassed at how he’d been caught staring.

His phone buzzed again.

He didn’t need to look at it to see it was Logan calling again.

No doubt he wanted to talk about what he sort-of-but-not-really had confessed to Lyla earlier today.

But the truth was, he didn’t really want to talk to any of them about it.

That was the problem. The person he wanted to talk to most about it was the person who’d unlocked this desire inside him in the first place.

“Oh, hey, someone else who ignores many calls from his brother,” Riley said lightly. “It is your brother, right? Which one?”

He was trying to make things normal. Landry knew he was. And what was he doing?

Checking out Riley’s ass and thinking about pushing him up against the counter.

He should be ashamed, but he wasn’t. Instead, he was turned on, squirming on the barstool like the first time he’d ever been on a date.

Even though this was definitely not a date.

For this to be a date, you’d have to tell him you’re into him.

“Yeah. It’s Logan.”

“You don’t want to talk to him?” Riley’s questions were still light, teasing. Unlike this morning when he’d slid onto the barstool next to him and looked at him like he could see right through Landry. See right down to where he was struggling.

“Not right now.”

“Well, you’re definitely making me feel less guilty about avoiding my brother.”

“You’re welcome,” Landry said dryly.

“You gonna tell me why?” Riley bent down to grab a casserole dish from the bottom cupboard, and the worn, soft fabric of his sweatpants stretched tight across his gloriously curved ass, and Landry had to swallow hard.

How was it that practically every inch of him was covered, and yet he was still salivating?

It was totally unfair.

“I…uh…” Landry hated how he was stammering. This was more than embarrassing. It was humiliating.

Man up, a voice inside that sounded suspiciously like Logan ordered him. Man up and get this shit done.

“You know a few years ago when, uh…when you came out?”

Riley shot him a look. “Shockingly, yes,” he teased. “Not the kind of thing you forget.”

“Right, right, uh…” Landry took a deep breath. “I think I might…also.”

“Okay,” Riley said steadily. His knife, cutting through a mound of broccoli, didn’t hesitate even for a moment.

Maybe Landry hadn’t been very good at hiding it.

Maybe Riley and Carter had been laughing together about Landry’s painfully obvious bisexual awakening for days now.

But that wasn’t like Riley, Landry realized.

He wouldn’t do that.

“You know I don’t care. I’m hardly a person who’s going to judge you,” Riley said when Landry went silent.

“I know. I just…I’m thirty-one, Riley. Thirty-one years old, and I didn’t know this about myself until…”

“Until?” One of Riley’s eyebrows quirked up.

You are not going to tell him he’s the cause of your bisexual awakening. No, you will not.

“Until recently.” It was a total cop-out answer. Landry knew it. Undoubtedly Riley knew it, too.

“Okay.” But Riley didn’t call him on it. “So what does you being thirty-one have to do with any of it?”

“I’m thirty-one, and I’ve just realized this about myself. What if…what if I knew, deep down, and I didn’t want that to be me? What if—”

Riley didn’t let him get the rest of it out, thank God.

“What if you thought you were accepting and open-minded about people this whole time, and you weren’t?”

“Yes. Yes, exactly that.” Landry chuckled under his breath, unmistakable relief at someone finally saying it out loud.

“Landry, I’m going to be blunt now, okay?”

Landry nodded and braced himself for the worst.

Realized, a half-second too late, he should’ve been bracing himself for something else entirely because Riley set the knife down and was suddenly in his space, his hands on Landry’s shoulders, so close he could practically catalog every shade of blue in his incredible eyes.

“You are very stupid if you believe that,” Riley said softly. “You love your brothers. You accept them wholeheartedly. You’ve never secretly believed you were better than they were because you assumed you were straight. I promise.”

“You do?”

“I do,” Riley said confidently. “And so would Logan, if you’d take his calls and stop ducking him. This stuff isn’t straightforward or particularly linear. It’s a scale, yeah, but that doesn’t mean it always makes logical sense. You know, I’m bisexual myself, but I tend to gravitate towards men. And that’s okay. You’re probably the opposite, and that’s okay, too. It’s all okay. Whatever you feel, it’s okay.”

Landry stared at him, at the earnest look on his face.

The face that had changed everything.

He’d taken his helmet off in Pittsburgh, and Landry’s whole life had re-aligned itself.

Maybe Riley could be the problem and the solution, after all.

“Okay,” Landry repeated quietly.

Riley’s fingers tightened their grip on his shoulders. For a breathless moment, Landry thought maybe he was going to lean in and kiss him. Complete the cycle he’d inadvertently begun that day in Pittsburgh.

But he didn’t.

Much to Landry’s disappointment.

You could’ve told him it was him, that he was the cause, and then he probably would’ve.

He could’ve. But it felt like way too much, way too soon, no matter how much he craved it.

Being the eldest of two adventurous and pain-in-the-ass brothers, he’d had to learn to take his time with stuff.

Riley made him feel like he was careening out of control.

“You better now?” Riley asked, and even though Landry had just told himself he wanted a better handle on the situation before he considered taking it to the next level, he was disappointed when he let go and turned away.

Riley’s question had been serious.

It deserved a serious answer, so he considered it for a second. How did he feel?

Less conflicted, that was for sure. Still like he was on an out-of-control train weaving its way through the mountains with no brakes, but maybe that was the way everyone felt around Riley Flynn.

Maybe that was the way Carter felt around Riley, too.

Landry squashed the jealousy because it wasn’t Riley’s fault Carter was Carter.

“Yeah, actually,” he admitted. “Thank you.”

“I’m not gonna promise coming out will always be easy, but it’s worth it every single time. For me, it always makes me feel a little bit more myself,” Riley said.

It was impossible to believe the confident guy in his kitchen was anything less than that every second of the day. There was the way he’d taken the field like he had no fear.

But Landry knew better.

Knew he was nervous. Knew he was anxious.

He just buried it deep so nobody saw it.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Landry said.

“Now, I’m gonna finish this casserole,” Riley said. “And you’re going to go call your brother.”

Landry rolled his eyes. “Really? Do I have to? He’s gonna be all…I told you you weren’t straight about it. And then he’s gonna be nice about it. Ugh.”

“Probably.” Riley grinned. “But you know what he won’t be? Worried that you secretly judged him all these years.”

“I’m going to remember this next time you’re ducking Aidan’s calls.”

“Like Aidan would ever call. He’d just text. And email. God, I wish sometimes I could block his email address.”

“Really?” Landry frowned. “What does he email you?”

“Nope,” Riley said. “We’re not going there. You don’t need to get that overprotective look in your eye, thinking about defending me.”

“I know,” Landry said, but he was still thinking it. He couldn’t help himself.

“I can take care of Aidan myself. Been doing it for years.”

“You have,” Landry agreed. “Still…I could talk to him, reason with him, at least get him off your case.”

Riley shot him a look. “Go call Logan before I decide to stop being nice to you.”

“Ooooh,” Landry teased. “I like the sound of that.”

He did. Way too much.

“Yeah, I bet you do,” Riley said. But then he picked up his knife again like Landry wasn’t balanced on his own knife’s edge of desire and restraint.

It was that particular fact—that he wanted to damn his concerns to hell and walk over to where Riley was chopping broccoli and kiss him until neither of them could think of why this was a terrible idea—that pushed him to get up and walk out of the room, tugging his phone out of his pocket as he walked towards the front stoop.

There were some things he had a feeling were going to come up that Riley definitely did not need to overhear.

“Hey,” Logan said after only one ring, as Landry settled down on the first step. “You ducking me?”

“No.” Lie. “There was just something I needed to do first.”

He could feel Logan’s indecision. Call him on the obvious bullshit, or be nice and maybe get more out of him.

“You gonna tell me what was more important than talking to your favorite brother?” Logan asked archly.

“I’m gonna plead the fifth on that one,” Landry said, chuckling under his breath. “Only ‘cause you’ll tell Levi, and then he’ll come kill me.”

How had the youngest Banks brother ended up the biggest of all three? Nobody was sure, but it was a fact he liked to lord over both his older brothers.

“Maybe I’m gonna come up there and kill you. That’s a pretty big secret you’ve been holdin’ onto, Landry.” Logan’s tone was reproachful.

He’s not gonna judge you. Landry reminded himself of Riley’s speech. He’s not gonna think you secretly judged him, either.

“It’s…it’s new,” Landry admitted. “I would’ve told you ages ago if I’d known, but I didn’t.”

Logan was silent for a long moment. Long enough Landry squirmed internally. Maybe Riley had been wrong. Maybe Logan was thinking of exactly what Landry had worried so much about.

“Hey, that’s great. I’m really happy for you, bro,” Logan said.

“You’re surprised,” Landry said.

“Well, yeah, a little. But not unhappy. I think it’s really cool, and I am happy for you. You gonna tell me who he is?”

Landry rolled his eyes. “How do you know there’s a he?”

This was exactly why he’d come outside to talk to Logan. Because, of course, he’d guess. And there was no way he was going to talk about Riley in front of Riley, even though he probably suspected he might be the origin of Landry’s bisexual awakening.

“Because you’re thirty-one, and Levi and I spent enough time talking about hot guys in front of you, there has to be one.”

Okay, yeah, it was pretty obvious there was one.

“So,” Logan continued, “who’s the hot guy? He must be really hot to turn your head.”

“You know that normally doesn’t matter to me,” Landry grumbled. It was the truth. He didn’t get his head turned by looks often.

But then people didn’t usually look like Riley either.

Or be so confident and capable, either.

The truth was, maybe Riley’s looks had clued him in, but it was the rest of him that kept Landry interested.

“I do, but I know it was someone. So just tell me,” Logan said. He was being nice. He probably deserved to know.

Frankly, Landry didn’t want to resist that much because he wanted to talk about Riley.

“He’s…well, he’s the worst person I could be feeling this about,” Landry admitted.

“Isn’t that always the case?” Logan sounded amused now.

“Apparently. It’s Riley Flynn. Aidan’s little brother.”

There was silence again on the other end of the line.

Landry laughed nervously. “Was that the final nail in your coffin, bro?”

“No, I’m just…you don’t fuck around, Landry.”

“Believe me, I know,” Landry said. “My best friend’s little brother. My new quarterback. My roommate. It’s…”

“No, I mean, Jesus fucking Christ. I didn’t realize Riley Flynn was all grown up.” Logan sounded confounded. “I just googled him and about dropped my phone.”

“You’re a happily settled man,” Landry reminded him.

“I know, I am. I absolutely fucking adore Dylan, but Jesus.”

“Dylan’s great.” He loved his brother’s boyfriend. He was exactly what Logan needed.

“When I said you don’t fuck around, I mean, you got good taste. Real good taste.”

“Aidan’s probably going to kill me,” Landry said.

“Oh, definitely. But think of how good you’re gonna have it before certain death occurs.”

That was the rub, wasn’t it?

“Nothing…uh…nothing’s happened.”

“What are you waiting for?” Logan asked curiously. “I mean, clearly you like him. Look at him. He’s living in your house, that work of art is living in your house, and you still haven’t made a move?”

Landry laughed because if he didn’t laugh, he was probably going to cry. “He thought I was straight, Logan.”

“Yeah, so did you before you saw him.” Logan was laughing now, too, and maybe it should’ve annoyed Landry because his brother was giving him shit, but it was impossible not to join in.

“I know. I know.”

“Oh, you do. So, you need advice?” Logan was absolutely rubbing his hands together in metaphorical glee right now.

“Advice on how to make a move? No. No.”

“I don’t know, I kinda think you do. So does he know he’s turned you not so straight?”

Landry rolled his eyes. “He didn’t turn me not straight. I’m not Riley-sexual.” Except…maybe he was.

“Oh, I like that. Riley-sexual. We’re gonna use that.”

“Don’t you dare text that to Levi.”

“I wouldn’t dare. It’s too lame to be contained in a text message. He’s gonna get a full run-down after this. Lyla, too.”

“Great,” Landry said weakly.

“So does Riley know or not?”

“He knows I’m not straight, yes,” Landry said. “Not that he did it. Because he didn’t.”

“If you say so, bro,” Logan said. “I kinda think you should’ve led with that.”

“Really?”

“Well, yeah, at least if you’re going for the hot gay porn angle.”

“I’m not,” Landry said flatly. Though now he was thinking about it and sort of hating his brother for bringing it up.

“Okay, alternatively, you could catch him in the hallway right after a shower, you know, when he’s wearing just a towel. I’m looking at this picture right now of him in…well, not much of anything, and I’m telling you that’s an excellent plan.”

“Logan!” Landry exclaimed in a strangled voice. “Are you checking out my…my…uh…”

“The love of your life? Oh, don’t worry. It’s on his Instagram. You can look at it later when you’re alone. Make sure you’re alone. And?”

“And?”

“And you can thank me for that suggestion. Once for every time you get yourself—”

“You’re the worst,” Landry interrupted before his brother could continue down that particular path. “Do you have any actual suggestions?”

“Yeah.” Logan’s voice went quiet and serious. “Just tell him. It’s a classic for a reason.”

“I don’t know if he’s even into me like that.”

“You’re his brother’s best friend. And let’s face it, you’ve got a whole look of your own goin’ on,” Logan pointed out wryly. “You’re a Banks. You’re hardly painful on the eyes. So he probably had some kind of feelings about you back in the day. You just gotta remind him of that.”

“Are you saying Riley had a crush on me?”

“I’m saying it wouldn’t be an outrageous possibility.”

“So you think I should just tell him. Even though he’s flirting all the time with Carter and—”

“Carter?” Logan interrupted. “Carter Maxwell?”

“That’s the one,” Landry said heavily.

“Riley Flynn isn’t going to be interested in Carter Maxwell. Landry, you are not thinking straight.” Logan chuckled. “Really not thinking straight.”

“Yes, I know. We’ve established that,” Landry said with a wry voice.

“Carter flirts with everyone.”

“I know.”

“What I mean is…you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“I’m glad you’re so confident about this,” Landry retorted sarcastically.

“I am. And so would you if you could hear yourself. Just…I don’t know, seduce him in the kitchen or something.”

“Or something?”

Logan laughed. “Just saying, it worked out great for me.”