The Sixth Seal

Ana awoke to an increasing pressure on her arm. She struggled to open her eyes, and when she did, she had to blink several times to focus.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” asked a nurse she had never seen before. The woman appeared to be in her fifties. She smiled at Ana as she removed the blood pressure cuff from her arm.

Ana rolled her eyes. “Delightful, and you?” She added a devilish smile to further make her point.

“That’s wonderful dear. You gave us all quite a fright.” She glanced up from the chart she held. “My name is Betty, by the way. Your vitals are looking much better today.”

She looked over the nurse with a critical eye. Either sarcasm was lost on her, or she was genuinely concerned about her patient.

Betty added a note to her chart and smiled.

For now, Ana decided to giver her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was the latter.

“How long have I been in this room?”

“For about three days.” She patted Ana’s forehead with a damp cloth and gave her a motherly look. “Would you like some water? I took out your IV this morning, so you might be getting thirsty.”

“I don’t think I can hold a cup in my present condition.” She made an overly exaggerated tug on her restraints.

“I’m afraid I can’t do anything about that, but I do have some straws.” Betty flashed another smile.

Ana nodded. She watched as the nurse poured a small cup of water and unwrapped a straw.

“Here you go. Just tilt your head up a bit and take a few sips.” The nurse held the straw in position for her.

The water came as a monsoon to a parched valley as the ice cold liquid washed down her throat.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, dear.” She set the cup on the nightside table and adjusted Ana’s pillows.

“Betty? Any idea when I might be able to get out of these restraints?”

She helped Ana sit up and flashed another smile. “I can’t really say, but the doctor should be in shortly to talk to you. I’m sure he’ll let you know.” She glanced at her watch and picked up Ana’s chart and scribbled another note.

“Doctor Reinhardt?” asked Ana.

The nurse gave her a confused look. “Oh no, dear, you’ve been assigned to Doctor Gabriel, or rather, he’s been assigned to you.” She chuckled. “He’s new here, and I think you’re gonna like him. He’s not too bad to look at, if you know what I mean.” She gave her a quick wink, returned her chart to the end of the bed, and moved to the door. She knocked and a few seconds later the lock turned and an orderly held the door open for her. Seconds later the distinct click of the locking mechanism sounded.

She stared at the ceiling, tracing out the lines and intersections of the tiles. Hazy images passed through her clouded mind. Maybe all the others were right. Maybe she was crazy. Maybe she really was delusional or schizophrenic. She shook her head and forced herself to focus. If she was just imagining it all, why did it all feel so real, and why did she keep seeing the book? Even now she could picture it. She could feel it. Feel its call. It was like a hunger. Perhaps it was that feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her believe. It wasn’t just mental, it was physical. She didn’t know why or how exactly, but she was connected to it, and to be out of its presence was agony.

She heard the word “protector” echo in her mind. Yes, she was the book’s protector, and she had been for centuries. There were others, other protectors, some good, some bad. They were all seeking the book. Why they wanted the book lingered just at the hazy outskirts of her mind. They were out there seeking the book, and she was strapped helplessly to a hospital bed. She closed her eyes and tried to understand it all. Her head was cloudy. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

The turning of the lock on her door brought her back into the moment. The door swung open, and a man in a long white coat came into the room followed by an orderly.

“Hello, Ana, I’m Doctor Gabriel.” He placed a hand on her forehead and lifted her eyelid with his thumb. He looked into her eyes for a moment before moving his hand to her wrist. “Your pulse has settled down.” He smiled at her; a warm, gentle smile meant to put her at ease. There was something familiar about him, but she knew she had never met him. His dark hair was graying just a touch at the temples, and his hazel eyes were filled with concern.

Why do I feel like I know you, doc? A faint image pulled at her mind, but it faded as soon as it appeared. Could he be trusted? She wasn’t sure.

“Are you alright?

“What?” Ana blinked and tried to focus on his face again.

“I was just saying how I’m sorry we had to restrain you.” He pulled on her wrist gently. “It was for your safety as much as the staff.”

She doubted that, but she just nodded. “Can you take them off now?”

“That depends entirely upon you. Can we trust you not to have another outburst like the other night?” He pulled up a chair, and sat down.

“I didn’t really want to hurt anyone.” She glanced up at the orderly. “I just wanted to get out of here.” She pulled reflexively on the restraints.

“I’m sure you didn’t want to hurt anyone, but sometimes our desires compel us to take desperate action.” He leaned forward with his hands on his knees. “I want to offer you a proposition. Will you hear me out?”

“Do I have a choice?”

He smiled. “Of course you do. We always have choices.”

“So if I say no?”

His brow furrowed, and he leaned back in his chair. “Then we just keep medicating you until we can come up with an alternate form of therapy.”

She glanced over the doctor’s shoulder at the orderly again. He wasn’t nearly as big as Nordic. She could probably take him out with one kick. She smiled at him.

He glared back.

She returned her attention to the doctor. “Well, when you put it like that, doc, what have I got to lose?”

The doctor smiled and offered a chuckle in reply. “I’m glad you still have your sense of humor. That’s more important than you know. Now here’s what I’m proposing, sit down with me in my office for a few sessions and let me give you my perspective on your situation.”

“Situation? Don’t you mean neuroses?”

He looked at her for a moment, pinching his ear lobe between his thumb and index finger.

Another hazy image appeared in her mind, a man, his face unclear, standing over her. The context wasn’t clear, but she knew he was smiling and pinching his ear lobe.

Now, I know I know you, doc. That smile, that ear thing, I’ve seen them before. But how? And where?

“I’m not entirely convinced that your problems are based in neuroses.”

“You’re not?”

“So does that mean you’ll agree to some sessions with me?”

She narrowed her eyes. “I don’t see how it will really help, but it sounds better than being drugged out of my mind.”

“That’s the spirit. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the kind of progress we can make together. I’ll put in an order to have your meds cut back tonight.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet. It’s not entirely altruistic on my part. I want your mind and body to be free of some of these narcotics so that we can talk candidly.” The doctor rose and went to work unfastening her restraints.

She rubbed her wrists and watched as he undid the strap around her ankles.

The orderly took a step closer, but the doctor held up his hand. The orderly opened his mouth as if to object, but simply nodded and returned to his spot near the door. Ana wondered if any of the orderlies she had roughed up were friends of his.

“Joe, tell Betty to call the cafeteria and have them send Ana her breakfast. Oh, and Joe?”

“Yes, doc?”

“No one lays a hand on my patient without my approval. Are we clear?” The warm, gentle tone left his voice, but it retained an unwavering evenness.

Joe gave a curt nod. “Of course, doctor. Is that all?”

“Yes, you can go now. I’ll handle things from here.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You don’t know how strong she is.” He looked as though he was going to protest further, but another look from the doctor seemed to make him think better of it. He turned quickly and left them alone in the room.

“Okay, Ana, I’m going to set aside some time for our first session this afternoon. In the meantime, take a shower and get into some fresh clothes.” He gestured toward a small dresser on the opposite wall. “Your breakfast should be here soon. I’ll send Joe to collect you later.”

“How long will I be locked in my room? Will I be able to go out in the lounge again?” She sat up and dropped her feet over the edge of the bed. Her toes barely touched the cold floor. Her head swam as she looked up at the doctor. She braced herself.

“In time. I have to show the administration that you can be trusted. I can’t honestly give them a good feeling about that until we’ve had a few productive sessions.”

She hung her head and looked down at his shiny black shoes.

“Don’t fret. I think we’re going to make a great team, and before you know it, you’ll be back amongst the others in the ward.” He smiled again.

Without looking up she asked, “Will I ever be able to get out of this hospital?”

“Just give me some time. We need to take things slowly. It’s too early to contemplate such things. Don’t worry. It just takes time.” He paused as if waiting for her to reply. When she didn’t, he left the room.

She knew she didn’t have the kind of time the doctor was talking about, but for the moment she’d play along.

After a shower that washed away the traces of the last few days, but not the memory, Ana pulled on a fresh pair of scrubs from the small dresser. They were blue, the nurses all wore white. Guess there’s no chance sneaking out of here disguised as a nurse.

She gave the breakfast a cursory glance, decided against the runny eggs and dry toast. She sat on the edge of the bed and downed the glass of orange juice. While she was in the shower someone had brought a few of her things into this new room. A picture of her mother stood atop the dresser alongside a pile of books. Whoever had brought her things must not have known her well; otherwise they would have known there was a reason the picture of her mother was at the bottom of a drawer.

She crossed the room and placed her mother’s picture face down. The small red book that lay on top of the others caught her eye. The book was no bigger than a deck of cards. The blood-red cover was intricately inscribed in Chinese. Chinese, not Japanese, not Korean, definitely Chinese. How she knew this, she wasn’t entirely certain. Ana couldn’t read it, she just knew. Something about the book felt right in her hands. She leafed through the delicate pages. They were impossibly thin. Each one contained row after row of vertical characters. Why had this been left in her room?

The lock on her door clicked and the door swung open. She set the book back down. Joe held the door open and motioned for her to follow. She could see another orderly behind him.

“Come on out, Ana,” said Joe. “It’s time for your first session with Doctor Gabriel.” He looked as if he wanted to say something more, but he didn’t.

She made her way to the door and stopped. Nordic stood in the hall in all of his hulking glory. Had she really taken this man down so easily?

“Don’t worry, Hans is just a precaution. Although, considering how you handled him before, I’m not sure if it would make much difference.” He chuckled. Hans didn’t look amused, but he didn’t say a word.

“Hans. That figures.” She gave him a smile that only garnered a roll of the eyes. “Sorry about your nose. It wasn’t anything personal, you were just in my way.”

“Let’s just get moving. I have other patients to deal with today,” said Hans. He motioned for her to follow Joe. She complied, taking up a space between the two men.

They passed through two sets of doors like the ones she had breached on her escape attempt. They were heading farther into the facility than she had ever been. There were no windows along any of the halls and the air felt colder.

“Are we underground?”

Joe replied without looking at her. “You’re pretty smart for a crazy person.”

She just laughed. Hans gave a disapproving grunt, but otherwise said nothing.

“How many floors below ground are there?”

“Just two,” said Joe.

“Is there an underground garage or anything?”

“There’s one on the--”

“That’s enough, Joe,” said Hans. “She doesn’t need to know any of that. Did it ever occur to you that she might be thinking about trying to escape again?”

She didn’t look back at Hans, but she could hear the irritation in his voice. Apparently he had taken it personally.

“Lighten up, Hans. I don’t think she’d be able to get out so easily, what with all the beefed up security.”

“No sense taking chances,” said Hans.

Joe didn’t reply, he just shrugged and opened up the next set of doors.

“End of the line.” Joe gestured down the hall. “The doctor’s office is the third door on the right. Just let yourself in.”

Hans prodded her with a quick push on the shoulder. She flinched reflexively, but continued forward.

“Aren’t you going to escort me in, Joe?”

“No, doc said to let you come in alone. Besides, all of the other doors are locked, so you don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

“So much for choices, doctor.”

Joe gave her a quizzical look before ushering Hans back out the way they came. She waited until they had gone, then tested the first door. Locked. The second. Locked. Joe was right, she had nowhere else to go. Maybe for now, Joe.

“Have a seat, Ana,” said Doctor Gabriel. He motioned her toward an overstuffed red leather couch opposite his desk.

She plopped down, sinking into the cushions. She wondered if the couch was designed to make patients feel small and insignificant. You don’t need a couch for that.

“You’re looking much better.” He sat behind an impressive desk with his hands folded. Rows and rows of leather bound medical volumes filled the mahogany shelves behind him. A framed diploma hung on the wall and a brass lamp and nameplate sat on the desk. Simple, clean, organized. The whole room gave the impression of never being used, while at the same time, inviting her to relax. It must have been the books.

“Have you felt disoriented or nauseous at all today?” he asked.

“A little, actually.” She patted her stomach.

“That’s perfectly normal under the circumstances.” He opened a small notebook and made a few notes with a silver ballpoint pen, the kind that came engraved in a set.

“Under what circumstances, doctor?”

“It’s really a combination of things,” he said. “First, the orderlies gave you a rather powerful tranquilizer the night of your...episode, which took some time to wear off. Second, I’ve had the pharmacist cut back on your regular meds since you were moved to this ward, and I plan to have them cut back even further pretty soon. Your body is already reacting to the change.”

“Why are you so interested in cutting back my meds? I’ve been on them for a long time.”

“I think that’s part of the problem as of late. These drugs have had a cumulative effect in your system. It’s my belief that they’ve actually worsened your hallucinations rather than help to reduce them.”

“You think I’m hallucinating? So you do think I’m crazy?” She pushed herself back into the couch and folded her arms.

He waved his hand as if to wave away her concerns. “You misunderstand me. I’ve reviewed your case extensively, and I’m afraid we can’t really know the root of your problems until these large doses of medication aren’t allowed to cloud your mind.”

“So you’re going to take me off the meds, and let the real crazy come out? Haven’t you talked to the others here? I’ll bet that they don’t agree with your assessment, Doctor.”

“I want you to get better, and I think getting you off of these drugs will go a long way toward getting down to the heart of the matter. I’ll still be giving you a mild sedative to help you sleep at night, of course.” He pinched his ear lobe between his thumb and index finger.

So familiar.

“You mean to keep me from running away in the night?”

The doctor laughed and got up from his chair and took a position on the corner of his desk. He leaned against it and folded his arms.

“You’re almost too smart for your own good. I’ll admit that the administration wouldn’t allow me to take you completely off your meds for that reason, but I also believe the lighter dose of sedatives will help you sleep, and sleep is important to our mental health. Besides, if I just take you off of these medications cold turkey, you’re going to fall hard.”

“Just so you know, Doc, when I sleep I dream, and that’s when I see the stuff that makes everyone here think I’m crazy.”

He nodded. “I want you to dream. Your dreams will be our window into what really brought you here.” He rolled the ballpoint pen back and forth between his fingers.

So familiar.

“My mother is what brought me here.” She cast her eyes down to her lap and pressed her palms against her legs.

“I know your mother brought you to this facility fifteen years ago, but I don’t know much more about the incident that sparked events. By the way, what is your mother’s name?”

“Marriane.”

“Bertrand?”

“Yes. Her maiden name is Montgomery.”

“According to your file, your father’s name is Michael Scott.”

“He’s not my father,” she said through clenched teeth. “My father is dead.”

He touched her knee delicately. “I’m sorry, Ana...Anastasie Eloise.” He said her name as if he were seeking a confession. “Was your father French?”

She repositioned herself on the couch. The doctor removed his hand and sat back against the desk, rolling the pen between his fingers.

“Yes. He met my mother at the embassy in Toulouse.”

“What brought your family back to the states?”

“My father was killed when I was six.” She wiped her eyes and avoided the doctor’s gaze.

“Were you close to your father?”

“Of course. He was my world.”

“May I ask how he died?”

She could feel him looking at her. “I don’t really know. My mother just told me he was murdered, but she wouldn’t ever give me any details. She just said they couldn’t find his killer. She never talked about it. Ever. Then we moved back to Annapolis.” She sat back up and looked absently at the row of books behind the desk.

“Is that where your mother met your stepfather?”

She nodded. “He’s in the Navy.”

“How is your relationship with your stepfather?”

“What relationship?”

“Do the two of you not get along?”

“He’s the reason I’m here,” she said, barely masking the contempt in her voice.

The doctor furrowed his brow. “Are you being completely honest about that?”

“What’s the point? You already know how I got here. It’s all in my file.” She looked into his eyes, challenging him to push the issue.

“I know it’s all in your file, but the file doesn’t tell me your side of things. I want to hear your perspective. I’m here to help, not to judge.” He rolled the pen between his fingers then attempted to put it in his coat pocket. He missed. The pen fell to the plushly carpeted floor without a sound. Ana glanced down at it reflexively then looked back into his eyes trying not to draw attention. Had he not noticed?

She looked back at the books.

“Truth be told, I guess I attacked Mike,” she said.

“Your stepfather?”

“Yes. I was arguing with my mother about my dreams...my visions. It was getting pretty loud and Mike put his hands on me. I don’t really remember what happened after that. I must have blacked out or something. When I came back to myself, Mike was on the floor with a broken nose, and my mother was calling the police.”

“So they brought you here, and you’ve been here ever since?”

“Pretty much. I mean, they had me evaluated a couple of times, but all of the doctors agreed that I was a danger to myself and others. They said I was schizophrenic and I needed to be institutionalized.”

“That must have been pretty rough. How old were you at the time?”

“Fifteen.”

“So you’ve spent half of your life here?”

“Just about.”

“And your family, how often do they visit?”

“My family doesn’t visit. Mike stopped coming with my mother around the third year I was here.”

“And your mother?”

“Until recently, she came at least once a month.” She crossed her arms again.

“Until recently?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” She ran a hand through her hair and stared at the stitching around the arm of the couch.

“You’re right, we’ve covered enough ground for our first session. I need to speak with the pharmacist about your medication again anyway. I want you to try and get some rest. There’s no need for us to press too hard right out of the gate.”

The doctor smiled and turned to go back to the other side of his desk. She seized the opportunity, stretching her leg out; she rolled the fallen ballpoint pen closer to the couch with the tip of her foot. Before the doctor made it to his chair, she had palmed the pen and hidden it in her waistband.

“Alright, Ana, I’ll buzz Joe and Hans and have them escort you back.” He reached for the intercom.

“Do you have to call Hans?” I think he’s still holding a grudge.” She smiled and gave a shrug.

“You’re right. I’ll just call Joe, just be on your best behavior. And just so you know, Joe doesn’t have access to get beyond the outer ward.” The doctor met her gaze.

“Point taken, Doc.”

Ana’s dreams that night, as always, were of the book and all of the protectors that came before.