The Sin's Virtue

One of the many annoying things in this world? Tossing in bed tops my list. You just keep changing your position hoping that one of them would be comfortable enough to slip into sleep but then you just couldn't find it and eventually it becomes so tiring to even try the next one that you feel like you should give up on everything going in your life.

I huffed as I sat up in bed. After having dinner with Ignis, which was dull as none of us talked more than required. She seemed distracted so I didn't bother her much and came straight to the guest room where I was staying and might I tell you that it was three or something hours ago and yet here I am, absolutely wide awake.

Maybe that is because I couldn't stop thinking. I am sickly anxious about how Death is going to take my words. I swear I meant no offence but I also know that she would never believe that but primarily its Pride who is eating my nerves right now.

I am just unable to push him out of my mind and its starting to worry me because somewhere I know its not because of the mate bond we share but because I am realising how this has got nothing to do with it.

Someone just talked about the feelings?

I suppose. Can that be true? Can I feel this for him? Should I even feel for him? We are counterparts for heaven's sake! How can I cross the line? But then again I am doing that, am I not?

Maybe its for good.

How exactly is that for good? I mean how am I supposed to even identify what is true or what is not?

You are questioning your mate bond?

I am not. Not the bond but him. I am questioning his motives. When I recall all the moments shared with him the past days, it brings nothing but a wave of confusion that splashes me right across my face, mind and thoughts within.

What is wrong about him?

Nothing. And thats the problem. Nothing is wrong with him but me that I am even giving this a thought.

Really? And you think I believe that? You are so stupid.

Confusion is not stupidity. Not when it comes to him...

Oh yeah?

Yes! I will never be enough when it comes to him. Not that I am going to be with him but still it bothers me because somewhere I hoped that I would be able to understand him, that I did in fact understand him but oh boy! Was I so wrong. I can just never understand him enough.

What do you want to understand amyways?!

Where was he when the others were accusing me for something I never did? What did he mean that night when he said that...he is Pride. Half man, half God?

He is THE sin of Pride. What do you expect?

I know he is that Sin in particular but no it was something else, something that was not there before, not when I had met him at Río's estate. There was a sinister arrogance that was gleaming in his eyes, one that I had never seen before. Those eyes, which somehow in a very wrong way I was starting to admire, looked nothing like I had always seen them as.

His eyes shone dangerously at me like he was possessed but the truth is, in that split second he was actually himself. I know that and maybe thats why it hurts. Badly. He looked at me the way I would never want my mate to look at me. All the care which he had shown otherwise was no where to be seen. It was like I was in a myth.

I pulled at my hair in frustration, biting my lip, I tried to not cry but all the muddled thoughts thick with hurt emotions, escaped through my eyes and I threw my face in the pillow to stop the sobs that were growing loud with each passing second.

I felt so pathetic to cry over something that was absolutely beyond my control. I felt stupid to be hurt about something that is bound to taunt to me if I get any closer to Pride, than this. Maybe in a much worse way. This feels like a stab already. I don't want to explore the limits. Not with him.

So you don't want him?

I want him to realise that he should have been there when I was bearing all the accusations, not to defend me but still, just be there so maybe everything would have affected me a lot less than it has because it was him, who brought me to the Sin villa so leaving me alone there when he knew, I wouldn't be able to handle those insufferable brothers of his, how could he?!

Drama at its best.

It is. May be it is all a drama, but even if its a drama, I am still stuck right in the middle of it, and grandly for that matter. I kept crying, even though the sobbing died eventually but the tears kept coming out as if the dams had been opened for forever.

"Shye."

I stilled. The voice came so suddenly and softly that I hardly got time to register any trace that would have let me know if someone was approaching me so I tried to grasp something, tried to catch any essence that could reveal who was there behind me but zilch, there was nothing out of order. No odour but I did hear it. Or was my mind making up things like these to trouble me even more?

Making up his voice?

I was definitely going crazy. That is it.

"Shye?"

No but I hear it again. What the heaven is going on with me?

"Will you for once hear me out woman?!"

I jumped, whirling around, my eyes wide. There he was, standing as fine as ever, like he never left and exactly like I have been imagining him. It was definitely my imagination getting the better of me.

His expression changed from clear frustration to same tenderness that I got lucky enough to see the other day in the bathroom where he calmed me so easily. I sighed on my own thoughts that were really going haphazard.

"What happened?" The so called imaginary Pride asked me in a soft voice as if loud words would crack me into many fragments of my being. I rolled my eyes.

"And now it talks too." I shook my head at myself. The man of my illusions cocked his head sideways giving me a funny look just like the real Pride would have if he were here by some ungodly miracle.

"You sure you haven't gone nuts without me because its just been one day, my mate?" My jaw was hitting the covers crumbled around me on the bed.

"Wow even the hallucination of you is full of himself." I rolled my eyes at him.

"So you are hallucinating, me?" His tone was full of mirth, looking at me coyly, it was clear that he was having too much fun out of my disorientation.

"As if.." I muttered under my breath, disappointed, I got up to make my way in the ensuite bathroom to wash my stupid thoughts away. I felt the illusion of Pride following me but I ignored it. My mind has surpassed the limits of nonsense activities and I just got to wash it and it will be gone.

I opened the faucet and the gush of water was enough to ease my sore nerves. Poring the water in my hands, I splashed it on my face, and looked up in the mirror.

A guy looking just like the Pride I know stood leaning against the door frame, hands folded across his chest, amusement dancing in those silky lavender eyes. I washed my face again and again, adamant to wipe off my imagination until I was breathing heavily and this time when I looked up he was right behind me.

I turned around to look him straight in those eyes, something was wrong, wasn't it? And I knew what exactly for that matter. I was not ready to admit that he could be here after everything but he is, isn't he?

"You are here." I simple said with no emotions whatsoever and oddly I felt nothing. With the proximity between us, it was a change that I wasn't feeling anything while its always the otherwise.

He sighed, a flicker of relief flashed in his eyes but then it quickly changed into the merriment. It was like he was rejoicing in my misery.

"Finally hitting the nail, aren't you now?" He said mocking my choice to not believe his presence and in frustration I hit him on the arm but a shriek left my mouth when my hand glided right through him. My head snapped at him, my eyes wide, he was grinning at me sheepishly.

"What the heaven was that?!" I shouted backing against the wall. The creeps that I was experiencing earlier were not chilling my senses prominently now. "Stop laughing at me! Who are you?!"

"Relax. Its me. Or at least a form of me." He said sobering up and I glared at him. "You see, its a hologram."

"Holo-What?" I gave him a weird look and he rolled his eyes at me.

"You Virtues seriously need to update yourself. See this," He waved his hand around himself, shoving them inside himself like it was no big deal. I however was feeling like I was about to pass out. "is a photographic record that contains coded information which generates a three dimensional image by holography. In short a hologram is produced. So I am actually in Impío but I can still contact to here in person. Well like a person at least. Shye...."

By the time he was done I was already storming out of the bathroom. He chuckled following me out.

Oh he thinks this is funny? I will show him how funny I can get!

"Shye?"

"Its not funny Pride!" I burst out, turning around I looked at him or his holo-fish-gram, and this time I noticed how he was actually looking different. He had this slightly gleaming border tracing his stature and my eyes zoomed in on it so much that I was able to see some mathematical codes floating close knitted. It was weird to see such things. To know that he was here but in actual wasn't. There was no trace that I had become so familar with.

"What did you call me?" His voice had dropped its octaves to hardly above a whisper and I clenched my jaw.

"Pride." I jutted my chin out at him. "P-R-I-D-E. You know the Sin?"

Even through the hologram, his eyes caught a wild flame, burning a hole in my own orbs. He smirked and for a minute I took the pleasure of seeing the familiar gesture.

"Well baby you need to be reminded again. What did I ask you to call me?" He asked biting his lip. Oh I know what he was up to in that sinister head of his, so, I decided to play along.

Might as well defeat him in his own game.

"Kian?" I asked in a soft tone.

"Yep. So what should you be calling me now?" He asked my foreseen question and I smirked.

"Pride." And I could see my eyes shining in his own. It was the moment that I loved the most when his expression of superiority dropped and he glared at me.

Sometimes you gotta twist your tacts to change the game.

"So defying me pleasures you, huh?" He asked lazily advancing towards me and this time I didn't back down. He was in for more this time, but then so was I.

"Greatly." I said as a matter of fact.

"Even leaving me?" He asked, tilting his head to look at me pointedly and my gears finally came to life. Did he just say that I left him?

I narrowed my eyes.

"You get what you give." I said walking right through him. Before walking out the door, I turned sideways. "Learn that in your favour."

Shutting the door behind me, I left his shocked phantom self behind.

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