The She-Wolf’s Mate (Book 2 She-Wolf Series)

Samantha

It had been a little over a year since Ivar left me after the Alpha Ceremony Ball.

I continued in my role as alpha. Luke had his first shift. My parents settled into a quiet life among the pack. My mom was even teaching preschool. Life was moving on despite the events of that night.

After Ivar left, word quickly spread that some sort of altercation with the king had taken place. Most of the guests took their leave, not wanting to become collateral damage. In reality, Aidan called a witch to teleport him and the king back to their territory in Canada after Ivar and Emerick had looked like they were about to tear out each other’s throats. Luckily no one had been injured.

It was said that the king had marked me as his own, but I had refused his proposal. I wasn’t sure if the rumors came from Ivar himself, or if people were just speculating. In truth, they were not far off. It just didn’t quite tell the whole story.

I remained unconscious almost the entire night after blacking out. Everyone had assumed the king did something terrible to me. Only Michael was able to keep my family from fearing the worst. He was there when I woke up, apparently keeping watch through the night. At first I was confused to see him, but he quickly got to the point.

“There is nothing you can do to stop this, Alpha,” he said, firmly. “You’re going to have to accept it.”

“I won’t do that, Michael. I’ll consult Katrina. There has to be some sort of spell that can unbind me from him,” I told him, tears of heartbreak streaming down my face.

“I’m telling you, there’s not.”

“How could you possibly know that?” I demanded.

“Because Cass and I are fated mates,” he snapped. He took a breath before continuing more gently, “Cass and I are fated mates, and I would have given anything for her not to be tied to me, Sam. She does not deserve the ghosts of my past that haunt me. I went to every witch. Every doctor. Everyone I could think of. There is no way out of this.”

“Then what am I supposed to do, Michael?” I pleaded. “I can’t leave my son. I won’t. How do I make that decision?”

He sat back and stayed quiet for a moment.

“You’re going to have to find a way to live with it,” he said, finally.

“How?” I asked, desperate for him to tell me it got easier.

“I dunno,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I fought my connection to Cass for a month before I couldn’t watch what I was putting her through anymore. The pain you’re feeling now, it doesn’t go away. If you want to be alpha, then like I said, you’re going to have to live with it.”

“Why would he leave?” I whispered, staring up at the ceiling.

Michael didn’t answer, and I didn’t expect him to. Silent tears rolled out of the corners of my eyes. After a moment, Micael spoke again.

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s feeling the same thing.”

I chuckled humorlessly. “It doesn’t.”

“Figured not.”

He sat with me a moment more before rising and giving my shoulder a squeeze.

“I’m going to head home. If you need anything, call me. I can cover for a few days until you figure everything out,” he said, softly.

I turned to meet his gaze, a firm resolve coming over me.

“There’s nothing to figure out. I’ll be in at 7.”

He gave me a long look before nodding slowly. Then he left, and I was alone again.

I thought back to the time after I had lost Travis and the heartache I felt then. This was similar, but at least Travis didn’t choose to leave me. I knew if he could’ve been by my side, he would have. That fact proved to me that Ivar was not the man I wanted in my life, fated mate or not. If he could choose to walk away without a backwards glance, then destiny had made a mistake.

Emerick struggled with the news as well. He stayed away for the night on Michael’s orders, but the next morning he met me in the driveway as I headed to work at the pack house.

We stared at each other an arm’s length apart. Neither of us quite knew what to say.

In that moment, I realized I no longer felt what I had for him before. I still cared about him and wanted him in my life as a friend. I even wanted him to comfort me, but I no longer wanted the relationship we had before Ivar.

I didn’t love him the same way, and that realization broke me further.

“I’m sorry, Emerick,” I choked out, my voice catching on the lump in my throat.

“Sam, I don’t understand,” he said with a pleading look in his eye.

“He’s my mate,” I shrugged.

“Fated mates are a my -“

“They’re not,” I cut him off. “I don’t know… it’s just…”

I struggled to find a way to explain.

“It’s not a myth,” I said, finally. “I don’t know what to tell you other than that, but the connection is real.”

He nodded and I saw his eyes get misty. My heart broke for him.

“Then, why’s he gone?” he asked.

I felt like a hot knife had been plunged into my heart. My chest squeezed, and I lost my breath at his.

Why was he gone?

The million dollar question of which I feared the answer.

“I wouldn’t leave the pack. Or Luke. And he won’t stay,” I whispered, leaving out that I apparently wasn’t enough for him to want to.

Emerick ran a hand through his hair.

“Well then fuck him,” he said, clearly frustrated. “Let’s just forget about him. He can’t control you, and he can’t make me stay away from you.”

I shook my head as he spoke.

“Em, he will kill you if we continue a romantic relationship,” I explained. “He may not want me, but he warned me to stay away from you.”

“I don’t care, Sam,” he argued. “He left. He doesn’t get to dictate your life.”

“Emerick, I don’t love you that way anymore.”

He froze.

“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could change it, but…”

My voice trailed off as I broke out into a fresh round of sobs. Emerick enveloped me in an embrace.

“Shhhh,” he whispered into my hair. “Shhh, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

I shook my head.

“He doesn’t want me, Em,” I sobbed.

“Then, he’s a blind mother fucker,” he growled. “And he doesn’t deserve you.”

I knew Emerick was trying to comfort me, but he could never understand the pain I was experiencing. My connection to Ivar was as tangible as the ground beneath my feet. I had felt our souls intertwining the moment I saw his face. His first touch may as well have been directly on my heart.

And he walked away moments later.

To be fair, I hadn’t tried to stop him. While he probably could have convinced me to walk away from the pack with a little bit of time, my son’s well-being came before any man, fated mate or not.

“There’s got to be a way to undo this,” Emerick said, dragging me from my thoughts.

I sighed, “Apparently not.”

“I’ll find something,” he promised.

“Okay, Em,” I conceded.

I didn’t have the will to argue. I leaned into Emerick for another moment, enjoying the comfort of his strong familiarity and feeling none of the desire I had for him just the day prior.

Our relationship turned into one of friendship. He stayed close with my family and offered any type of support he could. Luke adored him, and they spent a lot of time together. I felt it was good that my son had a strong male figure to guide him through his teenage years as a werewolf. God knows I needed it after Luke’s first shift.

Although we agreed to be strictly platonic, I knew that Emerick still hoped that I would change my mind. He kept his promise to look into ways to break a fated mate bond, but as Michael had warned, nothing tangible surfaced.

Eventually, I learned to live with the pain. I carried it with me like a heavy weight in my chest. For the sake of my pack, I couldn’t let my feelings consume me.

As the months grew colder, I knew that I would have to face Ivar again at the winter solstice gathering. I prepared myself for weeks to harden my heart against the onslaught of pain I knew would follow another rejection. However, when the time came, I never even saw him. I caught his distinct, masculine scent briefly a couple of times, but he must have purposefully avoided me, and I didn’t seek him out.

In the spring that followed, rumors spread that he had been seen with a new woman during several public appearances. I kept my cool while in front of others, but alone at night, I broke apart. I didn’t understand how he could choose to ignore the bond between us.

Part of me was jealous. I wanted to find comfort in a new relationship, but the thought of being with another man disgusted me. It wasn’t fair that he could still enjoy that companionship while I was stuck in my grief.

I chose to throw myself into pack business in order to survive. It mostly worked and the pack benefited greatly. Everyone was impressed with my leadership and my people were living better lives for it.

The one benefit to the rumored connection between Ivar and I was that the other alphas were terrified of retribution if they were to make romantic advances towards me. I was able to foster relationships and agreements with other packs without the risk of what they might want in return. They treated me as just another alpha, and no one dared to threaten my pack in the slightest. I wasn’t sure if they knew about Ivar necessarily being my fated mate, but they feared him nonetheless.

Today was the one year anniversary of my Alpha Ceremony, and therefore the one year anniversary of the day Ivar had walked into and out of my life. I hadn’t wanted to get out of bed, but I knew that if I wallowed, I would only feel worse by the following day. I couldn’t let the hard work I put in to leave him in the past go to waste. As Michael had said, I had to accept that this was my life now.

I drug my aching body out of bed and put on some leggings and a sweater. Today was not the day for high fashion. I had purposefully not scheduled any meetings so that I wouldn’t have to make the extra effort with anyone. Locking myself in my office seemed like the only way to get through the day.

I made breakfast for Luke on autopilot and forced a smile when he came down the stairs. He chatted away before we heard a car pull up to the house. I gave him a questioning look and he explained Emerick would be picking him up today since his car was in the shop.

I heard the front door open and turned to greet my lover-turned-friend.

“Good morning, Em,” I tried to sound cheerful.

“Hey, Sammy,” he said and wrapped me in a warm hug. “How are you doing, hun?”

I looked in his eyes as we separated and saw the worry there. He knew what day it was.

“I’m okay,” I lied with a smile.

I could tell he didn’t buy it, but he just nodded and gave my arm a small squeeze before turning to Luke.

“Ready, man?” Emerick asked.

“Mhmm,” Luke hummed, stuffing half a plate of eggs in his mouth and grabbing his backpack.

“Gross,” Emerick teased and Luke rolled his eyes in response.

“Thank you for driving him,” I told Emerick as I walked them to his car.

“Don’t mention it,” he waved me off. “He’s good company.”

I smiled up at him and once again wished this man had been the one destiny chose for me. The thought must’ve made me paranoid because I had the distinct feeling of being watched. As I scanned the perimeter, I didn’t see anything out of place. Neither did I smell anything on the breeze. Emerick didn’t seem to notice.

“Take care of yourself today,” he said, gently.

“I will,” I promised, giving him a quick hug. “I’ll see you at work in a bit.”

He frowned slightly and I wondered if he would try to talk me out of going to the pack house, but he just nodded before getting in the car and starting the engine. I watched them drive away before going back up to the house to grab my things.

I had just picked up my car keys when I heard a strange scratching at the front door.